Jessica Simpson Is A Size 2 (Or 8)
Asshole Simpson was probably crying in her daddy's lap (and he loooves it), because everyone forgot she existed. Even her baby's name is more famous than she is.
So when some bitches started calling Jessica a fat fuck cow who uses the jelly in donuts to brush her teeth and smothers her face in cake frosting before bedtime so that if she wakes up in the middle of the night there's a delicious surprise waiting for her, Asshole found an opportunity to get a little attention. The poster child for famewhoring wrote this on her blog:
I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard.
Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? I seriously doubt it. How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?
Now can we focus on the things that really matter.
Somewhere in the world, Ashlee's old nose is thinking, "Bitch, shut up."
Asshole should really consult with Jessica before she pulls a JLove and starts throwing around the "size 2" shit. Jessica responded to the "You so fat that you start beeping when you back up" jokes to OK!, "Going from a size 2 to a size 8, that's not fat. If I weren't Jessica Simpson, no one would care."
In Asshole's defense, she can only count up to 2.
And what does the president have to do with Jessica's fopa? I'm going to start using that excuse when the creditors call, "I'm disgusted that you are calling me about being ten payments behind. It's only been a week since the inauguration. Let's focus on the things that really matter!"
P.S. - You can go back to forgetting that fucktard named Ashlee Simpson. Delete and reboot.
ShareThis
You can say FOPA (O = over). I prefer FUKA.
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You go from straight player to fag within the span of one sentence.
nevermind
*grumble*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Well i think she looks good here even though she gets on my nerves, Except for her hair!
I have practically the same body as Jessica has (except my boobs and hair are real) and I am a 6/8. Size 2? What the hell!? That's not even plausible!
I really dont give a fuck about how fat or not fat Jessica Simpson is... I hate to say it but it seems like she kind of has the right attitude.
I would probably take Ashlee Simpson lecture a bit more seriously is her face wasn't molded out of plastic.
Notice Asslee didn't complain when Jess was being PRAISED for her weight. It goes both ways fucktard.
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"Maddox probably thought he hit the jackpot, but then Angie proceeded to take him to every other Third World country on the planet. He’s probably like. 'Bitch, when the fuck are we getting to Malibu?'" - CH
sorry, guys. maybe some of you like a litle meat on a gal, and that's fine. but the point is that THIS girl made a huge deal about her body, those stupid daisy duke shorts, blah blah blah.
if you show me a picture of america ferrera or sophia loren or any number of other curvey, beautiful women, i would say "damn! she's hot!" but jessica just looks sloppy, like she's trying to squeeze toothpaste back into the tube.
i hate these bitches.
I think Jessica wore the most unflattering pair of pants I have ever seen, and combined with a spandex leotard for a top, a bad combo for anyone I think. She must not have had a full length mirror to see how awful those clothes were.
If you go in to showbiz and use your looks, tits, and ass to further your career, you need to expect people comment when you look like shit and/or fat also. You do a video in a bikini rubbing your twat all over a soapy car but if you put on a few pounds you don't want anyone to notice? Sorry hon, it doesn't work that way.
And UptheAsshole Simpson, with her completely artifical face and tits, what a model of self esteem she is. I like how she even threw in Fox News to try and get sort of support on the issue. This is a girl who was BUSTED OUT live on television for the same thing Milli Vanilli lost their Grammy for! She had her entire face reconstructed. And yeah, I too heard her husband talking about fucking her in the ass in front of millions of radio listeners.
Tell me, Asshole, what things REALLY MATTER?
i heard this shit this morning and my first thought was
WTF does jessica or ashlee have to do with the inaguration??
my second thought was that if you go from a size 2 -dukes of hazard- to a size 8, which jessica said herself- the Yes you are Fat. not obese, but carrying more weight than you should. not that i think she has to be a size 2, tho she is in the entertainment industry and a huge part of that is looking good, which could be why she's not working.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
TV.....that tight end comment was hilarious!
I love you.
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"Maddox probably thought he hit the jackpot, but then Angie proceeded to take him to every other Third World country on the planet. He’s probably like. 'Bitch, when the fuck are we getting to Malibu?'" - CH
What the hell is FOPA? I thought it was called a FUPA (front upper P*&%y area) or just a plain ole puss packet?
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:56pm.
yeah and Petey next to her applyin $45.00 eyeliner
lol
Asshole needs another reality check a la Debra Wilson back when Mad TV was funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ag2Ski9K2sU
This shit is GOLD!!!!!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
YEssss, I assumed "fopa" was supposed to be "fupa" too! Fat Upper Pussy Area!!!
(Or "Fat Upper Penile Area" for men. And yes, I have seen the male fupa in person and lived to tell the tale!!!)
Not to be confused with the Gunt, which is native to the female species and increasingly endemic in the Midwest. Characterized by a large, saggy roll directly between the gut and the cunt, the American Gunt is the most insidious of all fatty deposits currently known to man. Beware, looking the Gunt directly in the eyes is sure to result in instant death!!!
Submitted by stefystef on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:58pm.
As a truly fat chick, I don't find Simpson fat. She is a little bigger than she usually is, but she looks normal to me.
Which means we look at too many under-weight, anoreix skanks everyday. You know why those skinny bitches are miserable? Because they don't eat! They are hunger and they are starving themselves and they are miserable.
Jessica is fat and happy. But she still has no talent. And Tony is allegedly cheating on her. Hahahahahaha, the joke is on Pappa Simpson.
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Whoa..whoa..whoa...
Who says "anorexic skanks" are so miserable and/or starving.( And is "anorexic skanks" something that fat chicks say to make themselves feel better?)
***FUPA!!!!*** OMG. that is my new favorite word. thank you!
i plan to use that all day in the office now:
"jim, i'd like to talk to you about that fupa in your report."
"that what?"
"you know what i'm talking about. i really don't think i need to explain myself to you. keep backtalking like that and you'll find yourself begging for a counter job at taco bell."
Some of these celebs can only be out done by some of the fucktards posting here! Cows in dire need of plastic surgery is my first guess.
Deal with your issues before you type catty cunts. You are embarrassing yourselves. No make that get some exercise this week. It will reduce the hate you feel for half normal celebs like Jessica Simpson.
Sheeps,
No, Romo is not working on his MENSA application, that's for sure.
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Still fuckin snowing.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:58pm.
I USUALLY DONT GET PERSONAL BUT I AM FUCKING APPALLED AT ANYONE CALLING THIS CHICK FAT. THATS A FINE LOOKING ASS THERE. I
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amen, charles! like twothirds of america would cut off their tits to look like chestica. when you're appalled, we listen
;)
.
That's the most(only) intelligent thing I've ever heard Ashley Simpson say! She's 100% right, except for the "size 2" nonsense. pa leeze. I'd still bitch slap her though, right or not.
Submitted by 2Di4 on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:01pm.
Submitted by Genevieve on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:37pm.
She looks more like a size 4.
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nope. no way is she a 4. i'm a 4 and i don't have all that back fat going on. she's a big 8, bordering on 10.
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OMG, yeah. I would call her 10 to 12, easy!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
I would also say at this size she probably even still limits her food. I would guess if she ate what she wanted truly, she could grow up to a 14
Dress sizes are smaller than pant sizes. Can JS be a size 2 (dress)? Yes. But not her ass! No way.
And why are we paying attn to anything coming out of Aslee's lip synching blog? She prob didn't type it.
Try the Cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
Submitted by MrFister on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:00pm.
a fupa is a fat upper pussy area...never heard of a fopa
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Fat over private area...we would say.
Or Gunt. But that would be lots more;p
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:54pm.
Submitted by Green Is Good on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:51pm.
Asslee's got some set of balls. What in HELL does the new President have to do with Chestica's epic ass?
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They both have the support of black men everywhere?
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Bwhaa haha, Team Valtrex! Once again, EPIC WIN in the comment department.
I don't care how much she weighs, that outfit is not flattering on someone of her size. Pick something a little suitable for your weight, you dumb cow. This just makes her look heavy.
Submitted by Genevieve on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:37pm.
She looks more like a size 4.
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nope. no way is she a 4. i'm a 4 and i don't have all that back fat going on. she's a big 8, bordering on 10. girlfriend needs to stop buying her clothes from the sears clearance rack and wynonna judd's yard sales.
Submitted by Clarisse on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:57pm.
Romo can. Then he doesn't strike me as a Rhodes Scholar.
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You go from straight player to fag within the span of one sentence.
Submitted by Tyranny on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:50pm.
So I mentioned the winter chubbiness and started taking her roller skating, which she loves.I'll be glad.
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I really like that. Cuz it IS so much about being active...even if just because when you're active you can't eat. And also, cuz you had an idea for her and were ready to get into it just as much as you thought she should. I mean, just saying: "Um, fix that." is really not enuff...role modeling rocks.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
a fupa is a fat upper pussy area...never heard of a fopa
Submitted by 2Di4 on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:57pm.
I think "fopa" was a typo for "fupa"
fupa being Fat Upper Pussy Area
Like a front-butt on a chick.
yeah, I know, nast.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
When your bread and butter is based on the fact that you are a thin blonde with big tits and suddenly you aren't so thin anymore, the world will talk.
That girl was never popular because of her "singing" ability nor for her "acting." It was big tits and a nice figure.
Now she looks dumpy, haggish and like a fucking needy chick.
When your claim to fame is who you're fucking and proclaiming your love to whomever that is in the mags, you lose all credibility.
I think the only reason Ashlee Simpson is commenting on this is because she looks rather large in the recent photos of her post-baby. Otherwise, you know that dumb bitch would be laughing her ass off at her sister's weight gain.
Am I blind and reading this wrong?! Regardless of what her sister says, Jessica herself said she's an 8 (not that it's anyone's biz anyway) so she's NOT pulling a J Love. That looks about right, and she looks perfectly fine. End of story. I'm by no means a fan but most of the pple commenting about how porky she looks probably have pig faces themselves, which no diet can ever fix!!!! She's prob more attractive than the average jackass at any weight.
Crickey
LOL
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
I love how the majority of commenteers agree that the Simpson girls need to get off their moral high horses and shut the fuck up.
Makes me happy.
As a truly fat chick, I don't find Simpson fat. She is a little bigger than she usually is, but she looks normal to me.
Which means we look at too many under-weight, anoreix skanks everyday. You know why those skinny bitches are miserable? Because they don't eat! They are hunger and they are starving themselves and they are miserable.
Jessica is fat and happy. But she still has no talent. And Tony is allegedly cheating on her. Hahahahahaha, the joke is on Pappa Simpson.
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"Mainstreaming is for pussies"- True Blood, Ep. 7
I USUALLY DONT GET PERSONAL BUT I AM FUCKING APPALLED AT ANYONE CALLING THIS CHICK FAT. THATS A FINE LOOKING ASS THERE. I BET YOU THERE ARE A LOT OF FUCKING PORKERS SITTING AROUND RIGHT NOW WHO ARE 1X 2X 3X AND COULD ONLY FUCKING WISH THEY WERE AN 8 OR 10. IM IN A PISSY ASS MOOD BECAUSE I GOT A GODDAMN OBSCENCE PHONE CALL AT 2:45 THIS MORNING. FUCKED UP.
Ricki Lake,
I guess men can overlook a LOT of stupid if it comes with a great rack, long blonde hair and cock-sucking lips.
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Still fuckin snowing.
ladlenitz
Asshole should know that celebrties ARE held to a different standard. That's the world she chose to live in. And she should stop acting like she hates it, because the attention is going to stop coming her way before she knows it, and then she'll be sad that no one is paying any attention to her. BRING BACK THE OLD NOSE!!!!
what's a 'fopa'? does mk mean 'faux pas'? i wasn't sure if it's just a new word i don't know.
(not being a dick here, just trying to be sure i understand)
Miss Priss on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:53pm
While on her $2,000 elliptical, working off baby fat and sucking on some Power Cleanse smoothie, wearing $200 work out shoes and $500 work out outfit.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
VOTE 4 MK http://2009.bloggies.com/
Dear Ashlee:
First off, on what fucking planet is Messica now a Size 2?
Secondly, talking about girls respecting themselves, after you got plastic surgery - Hypocrite much?
Thirdly, STFU, you untalented hag.
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WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!!!
I can't help but think of that one episode of "Friends" where they were watching the home movies from high school when Monica was fat.
Monica: The camera adds 10 pounds.
Chandler: How many cameras were on you?
But seriously, I think Jessica looks normal. But she ain't no size 2, and that outfit needs to go.
She's short and small boned, My guess is her size is a genuine size 6 but she's short and her bones are small so she doesn't hide it well when she gains. Also, we expect her to be small cause she was almost anorexic in dukes of hazzard so now she looks "fat" to some, but i actually think her weight looks pretty good here. She's actually been bigger than this. Just her pants are hideous.
Submitted by ricki lake on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:50pm.
And yeah, these shit-eating Simpson anuses
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Bwhahahahahaha!!!
You people are cracking me up 2day!!!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
I feel too sorry for those Simpson girls to hold anything against them, much. They sure got screwed when God passed out the daddies. I wonder why no one around them can tell them some good advice, like, don't you have some savings? How about taking a break, traveling, maybe going for a little education? It's never too late to try for some dignity. But it never happens. Sadness, really. Nobody sets out to be a joke.
Going from a size 2 to a size 8..... Bitch, you could be my Mom, my Dad, or whoever, if you pack on pounds like that (size 2 to 8 is at least 30 pounds difference) in a very short time, i m gonna say SOMETHING. Shit, i would be worried that you re sick or something, growing a fucking tumor or are depressed that you blow up like that. And if you decide to continue to 'dress' size 2, i ll let you know you may need some adjustments. Thats what friends or family do. They let you know when you make an ass of yourself...
Fuck Jessica`s dumb ass. Rant over. I cant believe i wasted my time on typing about this turd.
Submitted by Green Is Good on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:51pm.
Asslee's got some set of balls. What in HELL does the new President have to do with Chestica's epic ass?
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They both have the support of black men everywhere?
sorry, not a racist, but it was just sitting there
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
M.E., well, my main point was really more about the fact that she is so short and is probably a petite, and thus does not need to be rail-thin to be a smaller size, but yeah the vanity sizing can't hurt. And I really couldn't care less what size she is, because she still looks like shit, has no career, and would probably benefit from a lobotomy. Wtf does Tony Romo see in her?! Blonde hair and boobs? Is that really all straight guys want?! Ugh. Pamela Anderson syndrome to the extreme. Not hot.
OMg OMG OMg~~How awesome would it be if Asshole was reading this right now. LOL!!!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08