Jessica Simpson Is A Size 2 (Or 8)
Asshole Simpson was probably crying in her daddy's lap (and he loooves it), because everyone forgot she existed. Even her baby's name is more famous than she is.
So when some bitches started calling Jessica a fat fuck cow who uses the jelly in donuts to brush her teeth and smothers her face in cake frosting before bedtime so that if she wakes up in the middle of the night there's a delicious surprise waiting for her, Asshole found an opportunity to get a little attention. The poster child for famewhoring wrote this on her blog:
I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard.
Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend? I seriously doubt it. How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?
Now can we focus on the things that really matter.
Somewhere in the world, Ashlee's old nose is thinking, "Bitch, shut up."
Asshole should really consult with Jessica before she pulls a JLove and starts throwing around the "size 2" shit. Jessica responded to the "You so fat that you start beeping when you back up" jokes to OK!, "Going from a size 2 to a size 8, that's not fat. If I weren't Jessica Simpson, no one would care."
In Asshole's defense, she can only count up to 2.
And what does the president have to do with Jessica's fopa? I'm going to start using that excuse when the creditors call, "I'm disgusted that you are calling me about being ten payments behind. It's only been a week since the inauguration. Let's focus on the things that really matter!"
P.S. - You can go back to forgetting that fucktard named Ashlee Simpson. Delete and reboot.
ShareThis
I'd love to have a ass like that.
I bet she can sit through a movie without squirming.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tupperware is not an eating vessel.
I was with Ashele until she said that Jessica was a size 2. Why can't people admit that they are a size 6 or 8?? Claiming you are one size smaller makes you look delusional, claiming you are more than 3 size smaller makes you look like a moron.
Jessica looks heavier than Britney (when britney was in her worst time)
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Missy, donning my jacket and boots for 5 mins until I hit the cold. I was gonna say something to you about the retarted jokes. Gem would have loved it. I really need to eat SOMETHING NOW. See you later. Isn't Bitchette so cute? I f'd that one up and she forgave me. Love ya sluts.
It's like the Kirstie Alley & Oprah thing - saying their "heaviest weight" was 200 pounds.....If they "admit" to 200 pounds - you know it's 280 - 300......
....or they're just talkin' about one thigh...
M.E.,
Oops, sorry.
Have a great day sluts.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
ashlee sounds like an idiot
she aint a size 2
www.thatshideous.com
Submitted by missy on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:26pm.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:17pm.
Now, lets see, lets see
*scans clipboard with pencil*
so you ARE allowed to say "white bitch"
yes, thats fine here.. hmmm
IF HE CAN RAG ON THE WHITE BITCHES I CAN ON THE VIET CONG. NO ONE BETTER KEEP ON FUCKING REPORTING MY ASS AFTER THIS.
Why are all these bitches like Sophia Bush and JLHewitt throwing this size 2 crap? They're always saying "Oh I like eating so much I could never count calories, I'm curvy..I'm a size 2!" that's crazy, first because size 2 is still a pretty fuckin small size and second because they dont really look like sizes 2 at all, and there's nothing wrong with admitting that.At least Jessica admitted she's not a size 2. Asslee needs to stfu.
i want an open post.
serious question for you guys.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
And I'm hauling out the razor blades as I broke my resolutions two days into the year. All you thin, tall people...
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:34pm.
I thought I was the offendoer. Meh.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
jokey jokey?
eh?
ehhh?
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Ok, i m out, the post is getting hormonal....
Ha! I just got called out twice. Deserve it. Hormonal and hypoglycemic. Reminds me to eat. Gotta trek in the snowfall. See you stupid sluts later.
Submitted by missy on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:16pm.
shes not fat, shes RETARDED!!!!
*******
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA SODIE JUST CAME OUT MAH NOSE
ok.
sorry.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
I'm sure somebody will take offence with the Interwebs Political Correction Act too. After all, it's not the lower United States. Isn't it occupied territory stolen from somebody?
Jessica is looking real good and healthy. I think she's an 8/10. She just needs to wear more flattering clothes. That whole belt thing is not cute.
Ashlee just needs to go to the Bronx and get thrown off a bridge. Hypocrite! Isn't her man fucking (or getting fucked) by John Mayer?
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Chemo is not sexy
EEG - I'm 5'7" beyotch! I aint no shorty!!!!
Bitchette, I know. I was joking too. Peace. All cool.
Ok, i m out, the post is getting hormonal....
watch me boogie - HA!!!!!
JINX!
Alrighty then, this is where my ass leaves this thread.
Gotta go stuff myself. It's lunchey times!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Clothing sizes don't carry a whole lot of weight (no pun intended). I'm 5'2 and 110 pounds and have clothes I wear on a regular basis ranging from a size 2 to 8. It depends on the make and article and cut. She could be a size 2 in certain things but more than likely she is an 8.
I can't quit you babe, so I guess I got to put you down for a while--Led Zeppelin
From a hit TV show and red carpet invites to local radio remotes and red chili sauce tastings.
---That is golden! Love Momus. The funniest. Even the name makes me laugh.
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:27pm.
WTF are you talking about???
its a joke!
cunt.
ps thats a joke too.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
M.E.,
Yeah I know. I was trying to say that us tall girls can hide an extra 5-10 pounds alot easier than you short asses can.
I am constantly HUNGRY and still a size eight.
p.s. I am jelly of your tittays.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
black girls get to be 'thick'
but white girls are just fat. sorry.
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STFU you stupid ________.
Go back into your own racist world. Dumb Fuck.
-"Submitted by missy on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:16pm.
shes not fat, shes RETARDED!!!!"
Hahahaha!!. No, come on. To avoid offending anyone with "fat" or "retarded", let's say she's overweight and developmentally challenged.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:17pm.
Now, lets see, lets see
*scans clipboard with pencil*
so you ARE allowed to say "white bitch"
yes, thats fine here.. hmmm
*scans some more*
OH, yeah, retarded. Nope, can't say that here. Now you have to be read the
INTERWEBS POLICICAL CORRECTION ACT
I hereby apologize to anyone who has ever left the safety of their own minds to engage in the highly risky act of interacting with other humans. Therein I take full responsibility for all emotions, regardless of prior mental instability, when they are experienced in what may be construed, in the 48 lower united states of america, as negative or in any degree of discomfort. I hereby solomnly swear to only discuss topics and use words that are on the Walt Disney Corporation list of approved words and topics, and that a default of such promise as made shall result in my immediate branding of a complete human outcast who has a heart of coal and a size 14 ass that only shall fit into Kohls brand mom jeans.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
EEG, you are 7" taller than Chestica. Size 8 on her looks a LOT different than size 8 on you.
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"Maddox probably thought he hit the jackpot, but then Angie proceeded to take him to every other Third World country on the planet. He’s probably like. 'Bitch, when the fuck are we getting to Malibu?'" - CH
can you say cornfed??!?
black girls get to be 'thick'
but white girls are just fat. sorry.
ps. i'm the same height as js supposedly 5'2"
and if she's a size 8 at that height.... she must have some big bones with a lot of padding.
i'm a size 2/4 and i'm trying to lose weight so that my 2 clothes fit a little better.
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
I love her but she did get fat.
"Dress sizes are smaller than pant sizes. Can JS be a size 2 (dress)? Yes."
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No way, no how. Her chest size precludes this at pretty much any weight. Of course, the larger-incomed also get things tailored...
edit - posted at the same time as M.E.!
Asshole Pimpson obviously thinks that physical appearance is of pivotal importance.
Why else would she elect to go incredibly invasive surgery, and put her health on the line in order to have a surgeon carve up her face so that she looked like every other girl in Los Angeles.
If it wasn't for the media reporting this dross, Asshole wouldn't know what to think, what to say, or what to look like.
Stupid cow.
Remember when Asshole got booed at the Orange Bowl?
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
EEG - Chestica is only like 5'2" or some shit.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
From a hit TV show and red carpet invites to local radio remotes and red chili sauce tastings.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Submitted by Am on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:02pm.
Dress sizes are smaller than pant sizes. Can JS be a size 2 (dress)? Yes. But not her ass! No way.
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Nope, no way she can be a size 2 dress with those DD boobs. Trust. Unless she has a size 2 dress altered to fit her big tits, no way she could fit into a size 2 dress.
Trust me.
I'm a 4, with Dd tits, that I hate and I can't even fit my tits in a size 4 dress without them getting squished and over flowing like Selma in a A cup.
missy
Tarded!
I am a size eight, 5'9" and bony. There is no way on earth that she is an eight.
Bitch, I haven't had bread in three fucking years and am a little cranky.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
Aside from her questionable fashion choice and the vinyl hair, I think she looks fine.
****
Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
Submitted by missy on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:14pm.
HAHA!!
jessica is fat.
BMW baby is going to be hideous. imagine unretouched Ass and Wentz together!
by the sounds of the two of the bmw is going to be retarded too!
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'fuck you guys. i'm goin' home.'
Submitted by missy on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:16pm.
shes not fat, shes RETARDED!!!!
hahahaha. I generally try to call people whatever they'd like to be called (well, maybe not "First Nations," which sounds like a bank). But "retarded" originally meant just "slow" which sounds kinda neutral and accurate to me.
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You go from straight player to fag within the span of one sentence.
The majority of us aren't calling her fat. She isn't. She gained weight, no doubt, but she's healthy looking.
The problem is why does her plastic sister have a say on the issues young girls face nowadays when the bitch re-designed her whole face! Talk about insecurity and hypocrisy!
And we all know they are undeserving of their fame
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
My sister is a two and she's a goddamn stick
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
I jus' wanna slap this RETARDED white bitch.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
VOTE 4 MK http://2009.bloggies.com/
yeah, she's a size two. All she needs to put on size 2 pants everyday is some wesson oil, crisco and a shoe horn, but yeah, she's definitely a size two.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
shes not fat, shes RETARDED!!!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
It will reduce the hate you feel for half normal celebs like Jessica Simpson.
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Who said this? Half normal? Who?
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
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But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
Submitted by Jinxy McDeath on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 1:13pm.
I have practically the same body as Jessica has (except my boobs and hair are real) and I am a 6/8. Size 2? What the hell!? That's not even plausible!
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How YOU doin'?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
It is a VERY unflattering outfit, no denying it. But she is seriously brain damaged if she thinks anyone believes she's a size 2. She is a beautiful looking girl. Her body is very pretty and most of all HEALTHY looking but come on, she and Jennifer Love Hewitt are NOT size 2! That's like the alcoholic who swears he only had 2 beers when it is was actually 2 cases!
She's easily a 10. No surprise this one doesn't have control over herself. That sloppy, fucktard of a sister really reveals the true gene pool. This world needs to stop making 'less thans' our stars. How about that Clooney? Whatta dumb uneducated, emotionally stunted skank he is. Cary Grant wanna be is all he is.