Joaquin Is Faking It
Joaquin Phoenix said "BYE! GOOD" to Hollywood and told anyone who gave a shit that he was going to focus on music. And by "music," he meant homeless dude rapping. He debuted his sad hobo-on-a-subway act in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago with his friend Casey Affleck documenting the whole pathetic show on camera. Now, two whores have told EW that Joaquin's new career is just a fucking 5th grade art project for him. A joke. A ha-ha. A funny. An "I got you." Like we didn't know that already?
One of the whores said, "He said, 'It's a put-on. I'm going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it.'" The other whore piped in, "It's an art project for him. He's going full out. He probably has told his reps that he's quit acting. Joaquin is very smart. This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control."
Art never looked so mangy.
Wouldn't it be so much fucking fun to just go around playing stupid ass jokes on everyone? Life is just one big fun game! I'm sure this shit is a stupid ass hoax, but Joaquin still has crazy bugs dropping crazy shits in his crazy brains. Joaquin needs to drop this fakery (also related to fuckery and faggotry) and go do something better with his life like re-grout my bathroom tile or teach my dog how to do the Macarena.
And Joaquin needs more people. Vanilla Ice already played that "I'm a white boy who can rap" hoax on everyone. Although, I don't think Vanilla has let us in on the joke yet.
Thanks Alia
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He's the Jim Belushi to Rivers John...
You mean he's not really Miss Kentucky?
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Well, he is not an honest man, I saw his dating profile at a ................www celebmingle com.............. with username jugdethme. what does he want? Looking for a beauty or a wealthy woman?
Well, No fucking shit.
He's soooo fucking clever, artsy and ironic. like we couldn't figure out he's mocking everything and everyone. Only gulianna depandi, ryan seacrest and paris hilton are stupid enough to believe he quit that shit to become a rap star.
Thanks captain obvious (the "anonymous" friend--aka some chick he smoked out with and hooked up with in the bathroom at sundance)
If this is fakery (which I doubt), I like him less for it than if it had just been a misguided failure.
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Regardless of race, juveniles with unpopular names are more likely to engage in criminal activity. http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090128/sc_livescience/boyswithunpo...
It must be for private home movies. No one gives a shit.
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
Thank you, Campbells! You're telling the jokes for me. --MK
who saw that clip of him looking like a hobo trying to rap, and then his ass fell off the stage! it was a golden moment for me
Wait, so did Wokky think people were going to care and follow him around?
I can so see these two shit-brains sitting around conjuring up this huge diabolical plan:
"And then we'll drop a bomb at some red-carpet thing. Then we'll start appearing random places after we said we were going to go away, and you film me you know...like...it's something interesting enough to be documented....and then I'll rap, and people will just be freaking out man! People will DIE for this footage to be turned into a docu-drama, or maybe a documentary series like Pamela Anderson did, something sophisticated, and then.....wait....where is everyone?"
Well, damn. It's no good now. I mean, I'd guessed already but it's not interesting at all now that I KNOW. Yeesh.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
I am so bored by this foray into Ashton territory.Can someone call a trainer and get his hot bod back?
I have no interest in this mockumentary and it is stupid to ruin your career for a stunt.Imbecile.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Weak.
Does this mean he will shave/wax soon?
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I am totally for people getting the meds they need. --Hekki
Only a true asshole would pull something like that when most Americans are struggling to pay their bills. HaHa Joaquin, GOOD ONE! Stinky ass skank, if I see you in the streets I won't hesitate to cut you deep.
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
ME TOO KP! ;)
"Do I have a large frog in my hair? . . . Something's crawling out of my scalp."
I know he's probably nuts, but I think he is a hella talented actor...loved him as that teenager in love with Nicole Kidman, To Die For, and in Gladiator, as the kings son...he is true talent in my book, but in bad economic times it is not good to f with a good thing like a career, there are many hungry actors that would die to have a role in a movie, any role...me thinks he is doing this just for attention.
I still think hes hot...dirty and all.
I thought this was Vincent Gallo. He was never hot and now is even disgusting. Is this the next celebrity breakdown? when is he shaving his head and pubes in front of the paps?
Yeah guys, that whole, "I'm unemployed and barely paying my rent, it's just a put on!" Oh to be a rich celebrity and pretend to be crazy, what a hoot. If only he had to deal in reality, that would be precious.
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"If he's anywhere, he's in the middle of nowhere, keeping to himself, being a weirdo." - Brad Bellick
jokes aside, joaquin still needs a flea dip and a shave...
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we've all had our fair share of cock...it's nothing to shout about...
I'm just waiting on Kanye to pull the "I gotcha, bitch" and laugh at everyone that thought he was going crazy. I still have hope! LOL
Who didn't know that was a joke? You actually think that dude would walk away from millions and bitches, while its a RECESSION??? HELL TO THE NAW! Corny see thru joke, yes. Will he get top billing in projects from now on, probably no.
three of my fave words:
fuckery
faggotry
fakery
loves it. rememeber when Joaquin was Leaf and he was in Parenthood. i fucking love that movie.
So he's a poser, great.
I wish the way more talented Phoenix was still among us.
The worst kept secret out there.
I knew Joaquin was faking it from the very beginning. He's been my fave since Parenthood...I was about 9 years old lol. Anyways I have seen him F*** with the media for years! My sister called to inform me that Joaq has lost it and I just started cracking up, and said "come on Chelle...I know what he's doing and I think it's hilarious!". He's probably making a documentary about how Dumb F***'s run the media and show all the reactions and uproar. Like the fact that Dennis Rodman says 2+2=10 is chemistry, but Joaquin saying he has a frog in his hair made #8 On the Biggest oops and Rodmans was like 40 or something.RIDICULOUS!!! He was obviously just being an A**hole to that dumb B, and so fed up with the same stupid f***ing questions being asked over and over.
WHATEVER! I HEART JOAQUIN FOREVER!!!!
"Do I have a large frog in my hair? . . . Something's crawling out of my scalp."
Bull-f*cking-sh*t...Joaquin is just a dumb, dried-up f*cktard who now realizes that his hissy-fit change of careers isn't working out for him, and now he wants a f*cking do-over. Dumb ass. Not everyone who is subjected to his antics has shit for brains like him, and can see right through this f*ckery.
Oh, for the days of the old, hot Joaquin.
missy,
Don't make promises you won't/can't keep. The day is young, there may very well be another BrangieBlobs post.
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
"dlisted has been morphing into sensitivemomsewingcircle.com"
heehee. demented moms maybe. hey, i sew AND i'm retarded
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Never saw the hot in this loser and since I never once watched one of his films can't comment on his talent level. But I think that whole family is fucked in the head.
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http://hesterprinesworld.blogspot.com/
A place for book lovers and free thinkers.
Joaquin is a mess. He may be faking it, but he's still out of his fucking mind.
I can't stand Casey Affleck. He always looks so smug and squirmy.
Let's not forget that these two are brothers-in-law. Casey is married to Joaquin's sister.
I'd love to be a fly on the wall during THAT family's "Winter solstice" dinner.
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:27pm.
That's REtarded to you buddy!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:24pm.
You're more tarded than whomever we're talking about.
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You go from straight player to fag within the span of one sentence.
EEG, Im seriously thinking of changing my screen name to TARD-O .. thos fighting moods don't go away in one day ya know!
I keed, I keed, I'll play nice today >:-)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Sheeps you blasphemer!!! :P
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
missy,
Gotcha, is it ok to say the Joaquin is most definitely tarded?
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
Submitted by Team KFed on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:12pm.
Don't let a few perpetually crabby people stop you from saying what you like. Why, I'm almost tempted to confess my real love for Angelina.
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You go from straight player to fag within the span of one sentence.
EEG, eh, nothing but my bad attitude coming out for a stroll... hahaha
haha, yesterday some poster in the brangelina thread started the "don't say the word retarded" campaign and I's was in a fightin' mood, so I kept batting what she was throwing...
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
I seriously think that he's fucking crazy. Something in the brains aint right.
Witnessing Rivers death fucked him up even more that his upbringing in that ridiculous cult.
I blame his parents.
Submitted by missy on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:07pm.
Jeez, I guess. I actually thought my first post was pretty lame, but apparently it was enough to offend the new sensitive faction that's making their home at Dlisted. Just wait 'til they see the ugly retarded baby slapping fun (dipped in period blood) that happens every Friday afternoon.
AHAHAHAHA missy yer on FIYAH these past 2 days!!!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
missy,
What the fuck did I miss?
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
Submitted by Team KFed on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 12:04pm.
dlisted has been morphing into sensitivemomsewingcircle.com over the last few days.
you cant say retard, talk about death, think any baby is ugly or laugh at mental illness.
you CAN however say "slap a white bitch"
Youd better write this stuff down.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
So, if my boss calls me in for an intervention can I tell him that I'm a performance artist on the side and to just excuse the little lapses? Somehow I don't think it will fly for us little people.
Oh really UKer? Well, YOU make ME wanna barf too!
Sorry if you're offended by what I said, but in my opinion, death DID take the wrong brother. The talented one is gone and we're now stuck with this self absorbed loser who wouldn't even be anyone if he wasn't related to River in the first place. So fuck off hard if my opinion hurts your delicate sensibility.
I'm on Dlisted right? I didn't wander into Momsatsewingcircle.com did I?
Insanity is never funny. I don't think this is a joke.
Here's joaquin's new theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft7mUK29GY8
it's SOOOOOO appropriate... very awesome and authentically
retro-sounding song, too.
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"You can get it doggy-style or you can get it laying on your side. Those are your only choices. This is my house and I get the say."
how self-centered is it to clown around like a dumb twat and film your every move like it's art?
oh wait. that's every piece of shit in hollywood
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Submitted by Team KFed on Wed, 01/28/2009 - 11:35am.
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that is way out of line.
seriously, if you think saying shit like that is ok, you need to sort your fucing life out.
you make me wanna barf.
Psh, he's not faking it. You can tell this guy is on something for sure. Even the guy at TMZ said they saw him at an airport and he was so high that he couldn't he talk.
http://www.myspace.com/hes_so_blind
Death took the wrong brother.