Rock Of Love Bus: Ashley Wants A Cheeseburger
There were so many herp-puss covered gems during Rock of Love Bang Bus last night that I couldn't just pick one to share with you. So I'm dropping a few. Like with any ROLBB post, make sure you look at these pictures through a pinhole in a condom to protect yourself from the high-levels of skankness. Grab a rubber and join me after the jump. JUMP!!!!
1. My first favorite moment was when Taya fell off the fucking stage during one of the challenges while wearing a whorey maid outfit. If you're going to fall off the stage, you might as well be dressed like a whore who does windows. I felt for Taya. I was afraid she popped an ass wart or two. But I was a little surprised that Taya could fall any further since the bitch has already hit rock bottom (i.e. mouth fucking Bret Michaels).
2. The skanks were told to "dress to impress" for Bret. Most of the whores wore shit straight out of the Flirt Catalog, but Brittanayaaa (or whatever the fuck her name is) gets my "Fine Lady Award" for her sophisticated denim panties. Some of you may not be impressed, but I am. And in Slutonese, "dress to impress" translates into "dress to sell ass." Now does Britt's elegant ensemble make sense to you?
3. This picture of Marcia sums up the whole show for me: a bruised up, battered down whore having trouble opening a bottle of tequila. Yes, that's a metaphor for you to figure out.
4. A drunken Ashley made out with one of the other skanks and then flipped out after she saw the lady beast known as Beverly kissing on Bret's drummer. When Beverly denied that shit (even she got caught on camera), Ashley responded with: "I want a cheeseburger." For the record, that is the correct response for EVERYTHING. Clip below:
5. And finally, let's end with some more words of drunkness from Ashley. When one of the tramps gave Ashley the side-eye for being a boozed up skank, she had this to say: "Get over it. People puke and they poop their pants." Ashley is the Nietzsche of this generation!
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She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site........richcupid net..........last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now? looooooooool
I love this show!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Im pretty sure that he passes every Ho he runs into on to his drummer anyway. I doubt he cares.
WHO NEEDS A BRAIN
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I second LOVE SHATNERS request to make Ashley Hot Slut of the Day.
After watching this yesterday, she has become my favorite. I on team Ashley from this day forth.
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 10:53pm.
Man, is that Bret busted. Only a busted chick would find him or Jon Bon Phoni attractive. They are even scarier without the hair. Aaack
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Actually, Bon Jovi is still kinda hot in an "older" man way. His hair is still real (atleast he has the sense to cut it short after 35!)and he has a hot little body - I've seen it up close. You can't really compare the two. Jon is a devoted family man with kids and married to his high school sweetheart. Plus his band still kicks ass after 20 years. He's just much more evolved (habitat for humanity, political supporter, charities, etc.). I'd find that much more attractive than some 47 year old pretending to still be a rocker, wearing a weave, and sticking his tongue down every skanks throat .... his poor little daughters will have to hang their heads in shame when they watch this shit in about 10 years! Like any of these sluts are step mommy material. Pathetic!
Wow this was a brilliant recap of Sunday's episode!! you touched on all the amazing highlights. Thank you!! too funny!
Speaking of brillo and lye soap..it's time to shower and go to work in like 35 minutes...good think I work in town..phew!
The stench from these tangled pube goddesses makes me want to scrub myself with brillo and lye soap. They are nasty. Though I will admit my daughter and I get a laugh out of it. Husband, on the other hand, thinks all women are supposed to look like this..drunk skanky and whoreish.
Eee I loooooooooove this show. Love it! And I'm annoyed Maria had to leave, she's probably the most normal of the bunch and the one I liked for Bret straight from the start, even if she did (editing or otherwise) go on about being a retired model.
I was pissed that Beverly kissed that guy, because I think she's the best for Bret, but it's not exactly like her and Bret are "mutually exclusive" yet so he really shouldn't get too upset. Besides, before I started going out properly with my drummer bf, I hooked up with the guitarist in our band and that all worked out nicely and we're all still friends. (There's no way to say that without it sounding slutty, so whatever, this is dlisted. MK is the king/queen of sluts.)
What a low rent pack of dirty molls.
And by 'rent' I mean by the half hour.
Damn....the chicks just get sluttier with each passing season. It looks like the waiting room at the free clinic on "Free STD Test" day.
So hot & smoking!!!
www.realitybedroom.com
I think she is beautiful,agree with me?To tell the truth,i found she posted a profile on a famous dating site,called ***wealthymeetup. c om*** to seek hot guys, of course there are many celebrities,millionaires,beauties on that site.I joined too,maybe she just look forward some substitutes.
Ashley is an elegant gem amidst a bunch of ugly skanks and should be made Hot Slut of the Day.
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Candlejack is back!
I can honestly say that as drunk as I've ever been I've never pooped in my pants,yet.
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I lost track of how many times ROL has been on, I think it's like the third time around.
TEAM ASHLEY!
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
Someone needs to make some Ashley Facebook flair captioned with "I want a cheeseburger!" I'd do it myself, but everything I've tried over there ends up with unrecognizable lettering.
Most of these sperm receptacles were mere babies when Bert and Poison were crooning 'Every Rose Has It's Thorn'. I doubt most of these hos have the slightest clue who Bert is. He wouldn't pick a woman who was close to his real age because all that would do is remind him that he's an old, washed up rocker, who's playing the rez casino circuit. Considering his station in life now, a low-budget Juliette Lewis like Ashley is probably the best he can do. After saying all that, I still watch this show faithfully every week! I want a cheeseburger!
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Fuck soccer moms~ George Carlin
Dude, I love this show!! It's so funny. My favorite "Ashley-ism" is when she said, "Brett is a rock star! Sometimes you have to fall off stages and get back up, BITCH!" Also, I love when Brett says, "Maybe Marcia would be more interested in me if I covered myself in tequila and doritos". Nice!!
Man, is that Bret busted. Only a busted chick would find him or Jon Bon Phoni attractive. They are even scarier without the hair. Aaack!
gah....these vile bang bus skanks always gives me the itchies...it's gotta smell like unwashed vagina all the time on that bus...
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we've all had our fair share of cock...it's nothing to shout about...
This show is such a skank mess Brett Michaels is even starting to notice it. It looks like net episode he asks if anyone there is actually there for him, or whether they are there to outwhore eachother regardless of the male mating pole that is present.
islandgirl,
I'm so scared it will be great. Plus it will have to be a dirty secret that I only share with the Dlisters because I think my real life friends would stop loving me if they found out.
"Girls gone wild" ad infinitum doesn't even require any ad hominem attacks.
Really. -And, go to any "frat party" and the "man whores" are just as bad.
The world isn't getting worse...just more OBVIOUS.
madam s., you need to go there, if only for the sheer fuckery of it all.
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"Suave! Goddamn you're one suave fucker!"
I have never seen this show, but I can not even EXPRESS how much I love these recaps by Michael K. It almost makes me want to watch this mess, but I know that would just be wrong.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 9:45pm.
Don't worry TITS, there will be another inanimate object fucker soon. I wonder what happened to the insane bitch that married the Berlin wall....
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By God, TITS, as long as DListed is around MK will supply you with all the inanimate object fuckers news you will ever need....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Ugh...Sometimes I am ashamed to be a woman. A friend of mine know that Ashley chick through someone else and has eluded that she's really that disgusting in person...If I were that Beverly girl, I would have shut her up with a punch to the face...
Don't worry TITS, there will be another inanimate object fucker soon. I wonder what happened to the insane bitch that married the Berlin wall....
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Dick happens! - MK
Evil they're gone!!!
bugger eh?
My mind fairly reels at the choice remarks this lot would have made!!
*shakes fist at MK*
Art was seen by neighbors on 4 different occasions fucking his picnic table, always between 10:30 a.m. and noon. Mid-morning delight! One neighbor even videotaped it and turned the tape over to police. The Bellevue police caption said, "The first video we had, he was completely nude." That must have been an exciting day down at the police station.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tupperware is not an eating vessel.
That Ashley chick annoys the f-ck out of me. I thought Juliet Lewis was skeezer looking, and then I saw this ho. What is wrong with this trick. She's all sorts of nasty and some of those skanks look like they go ass to mouth so that's saying a lot.
I really don't know where they find such low rent, bottom of the barrell skeezers. But I guess you have to be to want to get with that all sorts of fug Bret Michaels. Seriously how many girls do you know that would want to get with some washed 80's hair metal band singer?
TITS you just have to see if the comments are still there for the picnic table fucker. LMAO
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 9:28pm.
I thought Tim was Teams good twin. Shit.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tupperware is not an eating vessel.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 9:26pm.
whimper.
tiger i recall reading about the car 'lover' and the car wash vacuum fucker (that one made some sense at least)
BUT A PICNIC TABLE? Is hygiene and propriety a thing of the past?
It's just.... I.... oh god....
Is the unibombers cabin still available?
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Please, TITS. That pic-nic table was ASKING FOR IT...out there in the park with not even a table cloth covering her hotness.... SHAMELESS HUSSY! Any red blooded male that saw that WIDE OPEN umbrella hole all nekkid on display like that would just hafta go hog wild!!!! She knew what she was doing...SHE WAS A WHORE....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by madam ex on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 9:20pm.
I take 2 Valtrex before I watch this show every Sunday faithfully.
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Just don't get them from our own Tim Valtrex a.k.a. "Team Valtrex"...I know first hand...well, lips, but I digress...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
whimper.
tiger i recall reading about the car 'lover' and the car wash vacuum fucker (that one made some sense at least)
BUT A PICNIC TABLE? Is hygiene and propriety a thing of the past?
It's just.... I.... oh god....
Is the unibombers cabin still available?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tupperware is not an eating vessel.
I take 2 Valtrex before I watch this show every Sunday faithfully.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 9:13pm.
Yep. I agree. Plus I think we could get at least one of them fucked up enough to fuck a pic-nic table...I mean a real slutty one, you know the kind who like it like that...
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tell me you meant to type ON a picnic table?
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TITS, you weren't here at DListed when MK posted about the pic-nic table fucker???? Oh, you missed out...Yeah and there was a dude who fucked bikes, and...oh, I forget, edumacate her, DListers!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 8:58pm.
Whaddya think it was about? They wanted to read fine literature with him in the library? ;-P
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frankly I try not to think about these things too much. dlisted is my only window to this odd world.
*buttons up top button on cardigan*
So they can air a tv show on which woman is best at whoring herself out to a man - the prize is sex; but they can't show janet jacksons saggy nip?
I am SO glad I don't own a tv.
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REALLY???? This was one reason I considered getting a working tv....*hanging tiger head in shame*...I know, I know...BAD TIGER...I didn't do it, though...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Yep. I agree. Plus I think we could get at least one of them fucked up enough to fuck a pic-nic table...I mean a real slutty one, you know the kind who like it like that...
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tell me you meant to type ON a picnic table?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tupperware is not an eating vessel.
Submitted by Diego on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 8:57pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 8:53pm.
I'm pretty sure that Bret Michaels will seem like an old world gentleman next to those two. It's not so much that I think they're actually bi as much as I think they will probably fuck anything that will hold still long enough so when you put them in their bus, away from the hos, well, look out and get the CDC on line one.
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Yep. I agree. Plus I think we could get at least one of them fucked up enough to fuck a pic-nic table...I mean a real slutty one, you know the kind who like it like that...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
John Cleese's 47 yr old girlfriend looks better than these supposedly 20 year old skanks. This bitches are the epitome of rode hard and put away wet. It's 2009 and people like this are the reason we still have to worry about venereal diseases....
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puppy side eye.
Everytime I watch these skanks, I immediately have to give myself a Silkwood shower right after.
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"Don't fuck with me fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo."
Whaddya think it was about? They wanted to read fine literature with him in the library? ;-P
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frankly I try not to think about these things too much. dlisted is my only window to this odd world.
*buttons up top button on cardigan*
So they can air a tv show on which woman is best at whoring herself out to a man - the prize is sex; but they can't show janet jacksons saggy nip?
I am SO glad I don't own a tv.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tupperware is not an eating vessel.
Submitted by vanyvrgs on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 8:53pm.
Along with Kim's wig!
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Submitted by Charles Manson on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 6:05pm.
THERE IS ONLY ONE FUCKING FULL PROOF GODDAMN CURE FOR THE BLUES. A FULL SIZED BOTTLE OF SMIFNOFF AND A TENDER FUCKING GODDAMN ROAST BEEF.
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 8:53pm.
I'm pretty sure that Bret Michaels will seem like an old world gentleman next to those two. It's not so much that I think they're actually bi as much as I think they will probably fuck anything that will hold still long enough so when you put them in their bus, away from the hos, well, look out and get the CDC on line one.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
Submitted by Diego on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 8:47pm.
I watch this and I can't even blink. But he is starting to bore me. We need a new skank who's love hungry. Tommy Lee and Criss Angel are probably free for next season so let's get on that, VH1. Call it double douche of love and see how long it takes for them to fuck each other.
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I hereby declare Diego new CEO, president and decision maker of VH1....*bowing down to greatness*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 8:36pm.
Submitted by vanyvrgs on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 8:05pm.
Now that cracked me up, I almost pooped my pants.
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Submitted by Sayonara on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 8:47pm.
Submitted by devilgirl on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 8:42pm.
Rag? Brett said these are the finest European extensions ever made.
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