What The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This?
Jessica Simpson is totally making the "I made a poopy" face. Yes, Jessica, you did. And it's smeared all over your body in the form of that not-right outfit. This is some "Miss Piggy joins the cast of The Real Trailer Park Housewives of Alabama" shit. If you ever want to clear a room or make a grown man cry, wear these diaper mom jeans. Those jeans are making her crotch look all fatty and sloppy. Lardcrotch!
Here's more of Jessica performing at Radio 99.9 Kiss Country's annual Chili Cookoff (how fucking fitting) in Pembroke Pines, FL yesterday. At the show, Jessica told the audience, "I am so excited that I am going to see my boyfriend tonight! My boyfriend is a football player, and he takes up my Sundays and now my Mondays." Replace "football player" with "seven-layer cake" and then this quote would make sense.
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HAHAHAHA, if she IS knocked up, I'm going to have to get knocked up just to cancel out the unfortunate redneck child she will have.
I saw this on the Daily Mail page and knew it was going to show up here. I think D-listed reads the Daily Mail quite regularly.
BAD outfit.
Don't care about the weight gain - if she's happy with it, that's all that matters.
And high waisted stuff seems to be back in style - or at least starting. That and french cut stuff.
Man. She is really rockin' the "daughter of a Southern minister" look.
She isn't fat at all! It's the pants...
Ha ha. She went from be teenage whore to soccer mom and didn't even have kids!
I, too, have a similar body type (short waisted and top heavy) and I would never wear this outfit if I had put on a few pounds. That shit only looks good on tall and skinny.
MK, why won't you let Jessica be great? I was waiting for you to mention this - LOL at her two belts. Chili Cookoff - I fucking love it!
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WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BE GREAT!!!
I like the extra meat on her bones. She looks healthy. But, the jeans are soooooo unfortunate!
Is that Quote for real? Who says that oooh my boyfriend is a football player..you heard that I have a boyfriend!
In other news im finally trying to loose this extra weight! yay!
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I never stay on topic :)
I'm also so over people calling them Mom jeans. These are NOT MOM JEANS!
First of all, it's ignorant that any jean that isn't cut so your ass crack hangs out is considered "mom jeans" but the truth is... jeans like this were from the fucking 70's for God's sake.
See - http://www.catwalkqueen.tv/dittos.jpg
70's!
These are what are considered MOM JEANS for fucks sake
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3057/2703656039_a79389330a.jpg
The funny thing is everyone thinks they are so unflattering, but just like everything else, it depends on who you put in the damn things
http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/3918/kelly46na.jpg
Now quit calling every god damned jean that doesn't have a waistband 2 inches above the crotch Mom Jeans.
/rant
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
Good lord she looks like Anna Nicole Smith in pic 9.
God help us if she's knocked up, MaNHaTTaNiTRBiTR.
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Please, you are making a German spectacle of yourself!
I dont think shes fat but she does have an unfortunate figure. Shes got a super short torso, short stubby arms and no neck whatsoever. Her face is looking a little plump in these pics, she definitely looks very odd.
"I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!"
- Kathy Griffin
More muffins for the stuffin'.
I thought that the high-waisted pant look died a while ago. Every time I see them I cringe. If you have any butt whatsoever they add at least 20 lbs, only rail thin women can pull it off.
I don't have a problem with her weight at all, but is she living under a damn stone that she constantly keeps saying "my boyfriend is a football player." DUH dumbass we know
Fake hair is awful, her pants are at least one size too small and well the belt should be used to beat her with for making all those frog faces all the time.
I like her chubbier because it makes her seem more human and less robot like.
I don't understand any part of this outfit. The jeans are heinous, unflattering, horrible, all of that, yes yes - the belt is COMPLETELY RANDOM (and puketastic) indeed - but then she tops it off with a...plain black tank top (that she is obviously wearing on purpose because she Spanx-ed herself into it)?
>blink<
She is looking a tad overfed...step away from the chili.
She bugs the hell out of me, but I don't loathe her like I do some other celebs. *coughBrangelinacough*
She just seems like a clueless idiot to me. Her "career" is definitely over.
Actually....now that I look closer at these pics....she's got a little pregnant bloat going on!
She's not fat by any definition. She just looks it because her clothes are so ill-fitting. Is her father still her manager? If so, then this outfit makes sense.
Honey, it's ok to wear clothes that fit.
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Please, you are making a German spectacle of yourself!
That belt is just there to push her bally flab back in.
And what do you call fat that is trying to escape out of the top in pic 9?
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Okay guys I'm thinking maybe the joke has went too far.
Who's gonna tell her that we were kidding with the whole "you sing great" and "I love your taste in clothes"?
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"We do not gnaw on our kitties"
Dr. Evil
i don't have an issue with her being heavier... she's probably healthier. but shouldn't her stylist have told her that wearing mom jeans with awful belts was a bad idea?
to be honest, i've probably got a similar body shape as what she's got and i stay far FAR away from anything even remotely like that outfit because i know it'll make me look fat.
she's an idiot.
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"Your HR lady is a cunt." -Chris Ecclestons Concubine
Alright--is it just me or in the LAST thumbnail photo--with all the makeup (and the pounds) that she has packed on...She EERILY reminds me of the deceased Nicole Brown Simpson!
Lose some weight there, Chestica!
I don't know when these bitches will learn- high waisted jeans only look good on tall skinny model type bitches, and sometimes, not even then. This one is like 3ft tall and WIDE. UUGGHH.
Paris is for stoners.
She's not fat, she's just ugly! She looks like a Florida retiree trying to sex up her look for Wednesday Night Bingo.
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
One, two Brit Brit's coming for you
three, four lock your chillun's doors
five, six she needs her Cheetos fix
seven, eight she dropped her Frap bloat weight
nine, ten her weave looks beat again
She's far from fat, but her body type is way too stumpy to dress like that.
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"Suave! Goddamn you're one suave fucker!"
Holy Shit she has gained a lot of weight. Not that there is anything wrong with that...
Remember back when she was training for Daisy Duke or whatever and she was working out like mad and got really skinny? So it's not like a regular thin person gaining weight, she went from super fit to over weight, which is a little odd.
If she keeps this up she will be able to get work as a Sally Strothers impersonator in about 6 months.
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HAHA IM USING THE INTERNETZ!!1!!!!!1!
Hey, I think she looks great. If people think she looks fat it's because she spent so many years being rail-thin. Kudos to Frogface for being happy and healthy.
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So what if some of the crayons are missing; use the ones still in the box. Maybe the world needs a purple horse.
I think you need to do a side-by-side comparison of her with Beth (Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife). Jessica's monster truck titties are getting bigger, and Beth is definitely what she's heading for!
Alli appears to be working for Wynona.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
She is the epitome of fat and happy. And it really would not be noticeable had she not squeezed into those awful jeans and a skin tight tank.
But sadly she should have re-thought that belt. It is heinous all by itself.
"I'm country, y'all."
Awwwww, she must be comfortable and happy w/ her man. Some women gain weight when they're comfortable. Not to mention her boyfriend is a professional athlete and probably eats like a fucking horse. That's annoying when the man's ALWAYS eating and expects u to join him. SELF-CONTROL, JESSICA!! SELF-CONTROL.
She did a cover of a Donny & Marie classic:
“I’m a little bit chunky, I’m a little bit roly-pol."
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A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.
she looks like she is the new spokesperson for Weight Watchers
she needs to stop embarrassing herself already.
Jesus, she looks fat, and she is not fat. This girl has no idea how to flatter her body in clothes.
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"what should I say? 'please remove your dick from my ass'?"
- Mrs Rod Tidwell "Jerry Maguire"
Fuck you guys. Those jeans are an insult to Moms the world over. They are WAY worse than Mom jeans - and most Moms would have the common sense to see how fucking unflattering they are.
Do you think she was hoping for a bump watch caption or something?
When will she just disappear already? I'd rather see her sister and her loser hubby and their baby with the terrible name. And I really don't want to see them, either, so that's really saying something.
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I can't decide which color Snuggie to buy.
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
ABANDONED COUCH - FOREVER HOT SLUT '08 IN MY HEART
Back when she was with nick, at some point this chick was kind of hot.(I said Kind of)I never thought I would say this, but I'm way Hotter than Jessica Simpson
He Dicho! caso cerrado!!
Ugh! just because she sings cunty music doesn't mean she has to dress like that! Awful does not begin to describe how horrid she looks. Wats with all the faces she makes? Is she tryna get sympathy votes for being "special"? Why does she keep talking about her boyfriend? She acts like she's in the 7th grade and is the first girl in her crew to get a boyfriend so she reminds us constantly, I would have scratched her eyes out in 7th grade...and yesterday....
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y tu mama tambien!
That belt!!! Because wearing only one its kind wasn't enough, she wore two, at the same time, one top of the other. The outfit is very T.J. Maxx, where you buy the WRONG items on discount.
This girl does not know how to dress her body.
GIVE IT UP WHORE 10 years into your career and your performing at a chili cook-off your done get pregnant and go the fuck away
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All theories like clichés shot to hell,All these small faces looking up beautiful and believing I wish to weep but sorrow is stupid. I wish to believe but belief is a graveyard. we have narrowed it down to the butcherknife and the mockingbird wish us luck
She looks like Anna Nicole!
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Busybeeblogger
Aye Carumba!
Also, she appears to have had her eyes tweaked or other such fuckery as her usual, pretty-ish face is mangled.
That's a "Cougar in Training" outfit if I ever saw one. Comes complete with Mom Jeans.
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CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!