What The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This?
Jessica Simpson is totally making the "I made a poopy" face. Yes, Jessica, you did. And it's smeared all over your body in the form of that not-right outfit. This is some "Miss Piggy joins the cast of The Real Trailer Park Housewives of Alabama" shit. If you ever want to clear a room or make a grown man cry, wear these diaper mom jeans. Those jeans are making her crotch look all fatty and sloppy. Lardcrotch!
Here's more of Jessica performing at Radio 99.9 Kiss Country's annual Chili Cookoff (how fucking fitting) in Pembroke Pines, FL yesterday. At the show, Jessica told the audience, "I am so excited that I am going to see my boyfriend tonight! My boyfriend is a football player, and he takes up my Sundays and now my Mondays." Replace "football player" with "seven-layer cake" and then this quote would make sense.
ShareThis
Ahhahaha kdracofan!
Poppa Joe picked out that outfit and thought "What what Jesus think?.....not Jesus the Lord...but Jesus Sanchez, their back alley accountant....
g/f needs to make some money.....up keep on that polyester gerbil shearling she has on her head costs money!
i actually think jessica has some talent and can sing pretty good. so why isn't she as famous as Britney and Christina? she is just as pretty as britney and i actually like her voice, unlike christina's who just screams.
Submitted by FritoDorito on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:50am.
I love how she can only get gigs at Chili Cookoffs now.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Pretty soon it'll be a Rotary Club meeting, then a bingo parlour.
OFF TOPIC- Not that I am a fan, but I was shocked that Matchbox 20 has been reduced to playing casinos outside Indio Ca.
I find Jessica amazing. Scientific proof that someone can live without a brain.
*************************************************
I will give you my finest hour, the one I spent watching you shower.
Mmmmmm, Chili.
her arms look huge
is it the pants too?
That face looks like someone commented her about the borderline camel toe and she needs one more belt to cover up that one more extra roll. FATTY
~"Hey nice Bitch", I wasn't talking about the dog. LOL J- your horrible~
Submitted by MaNHaTTaNiTRBiTR on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:25am.
Actually....now that I look closer at these pics....she's got a little pregnant bloat going on!
*****
EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS HOPING PEOPLE WOULD SAY, I TELL YA!
*****
I can't decide which color Snuggie to buy.
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
ABANDONED COUCH - FOREVER HOT SLUT '08 IN MY HEART
Chili cook-offs?....her venues are "huge"...well huge people not necessarily huge buildings...
I love how she can only get gigs at Chili Cookoffs now.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by KD on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:48am.
LOL!
There's no way she's pregnant. That football player's sperm is probably terrified unconscious by entrapment nightmares.
when did Kirstie Alley go blonde?
STFU, Jess, nobody cares about you and your stupid boyfriend.
Maybe she's gaining weight so she better identify with her "fans"
i also really really hope that enough trendy bitches will see this photo and realize NO ONE looks good in highwaisted pants.
---
backseat.tumblr.com
@fritodorito- thank you:) and yes, you must be right...cuz it sure couldnt be from her talent. When she sings it makes me want to stick fire hot pokers into my eardrums until they bleed.
You can tell by the way she's built she's prone to weigh gain. But the bad outfit, old lady caked on overdone makeup, and fried hair aren't helping her. If she went with a more natural look and wore some cute boot cut jeans she would look fine.
She has the shoulders and arms of Larry the Cable Guy.
I am LOVING fat chestica simpson! it makes her big fake lips and jugs look "natural".
---
backseat.tumblr.com
Chesty has the fat gene, she's not embracing the fat girl within.
P.S. She looks awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:35am.
Just sayin' and all but she is morphing into Anna Nicole Smith.
Or Bulk Hogan.
----------------------------------
She`s one of those ladies that get thin to get a man, and then they get comfortable once they are in the relationship for a while...she is not fat by any means, but she DID put on quite a few pounds. Just because you re fucking a football player doesnt mean, you gotta try to look like one....
This is not going to fare well for her "Real Girls Eat Meat" campaign.
Carrie Underwood is probably CACKLING somewhere right now.
To be fair, those pants would look awful on anyone. Not only are they too high waisted, the fugly ass animal print belt only accentuates that. ugh! i hate bitches that wear fuckin animal prints.
**********
"Dude, quit harshing my mellow!"
She's gonna need more belt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hot Word of the Week: "cacology"
She's not fat but she seems it becasue she's been thin for so long. That said the top looks cheap and wouldn't flatter anyone. She looks honky tonk. I think Papa joe has her looking less threatening/gained weight to appeal to her target demographic. It worked for Oprah- she gained and her approval went way back up.
Damn. She needs two belts to hold the fat in!
Submitted by Sensimina on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:23am.
She's not fat, she's just ugly! She looks like a Florida retiree trying to sex up her look for Wednesday Night Bingo.
--
Bwhahaha. My thought exactly.
Hi Sensimina!! ♥
◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘
You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
She was always a nothing...now she's a fat nothing. I can't believe she still gets singing gigs-even at Chili cook-offs. What's next, monster truck shows?
Has anyone heard her sing in say the last 5 years?
She looks like a typical Texas Christian pouting because deep inside, over her bourbon and coke, she knows Obama's win was the work of the devil.
Filthybitch, those 70s jeans are fabulous!
Submitted by blksheep on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:35am.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
First off, I love your avie. Hi-fucking-larious.
Second, I believe that Jessucka Simpleton's ascension to fame involved her giving blowjobs to the right people.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Whether you're fat, skinny, whatever...the outfit itself is just plain unflattering. I love it when dumb hos where this type of stuff. Keep going, bitch...you're makin' me look good!
I don't think her body looks horrible. Her clothes are totally unflattering and she's not in Hollywood shape, but I won't pretend she doesn't look loads better than I do.
****
Fuck these bitches. I got my own problems. - The Fly
I hate Jessica Simpson on a level unsurpassed by most celebuwhores. That said, I dont think she looks that bad except for the horribly unfortunate outfit, hair, makeup, and retarded facial expressions.
Why is she famous again?
She should dress for her size, not the image. She's only makinh herself look larger than she really is.
Try the Cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
Just sayin' and all but she is morphing into Anna Nicole Smith.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
VOTE 4 MK http://2009.bloggies.com/
Um. Can't wait to see how much more weight she will gain. To be fair, she's not quite fat yet, just plump, but is well on her way to Miss Piggy proportions. She's depressed and is eating her boyfriend/career troubles away. Tony and Papa Joe have a thing going and that's why he's STILL her boyfriend... she's so stupid!
Submitted by Rocket on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:32am.
Real Girls Eat the Whole Cow!
------------------------------------------
LOL! Funny!
Is there a VAGINA sewn into those jeans?
Her pants look like they're about to explode.
It's the TOP that's unflattering!!!!! Bitch's arm fat is pouring out the sides, her tits look disgusting, and you can see how her bra is cutting into her flesh. It's not the lower half of her body that looks fat (yes the jeans are ugly), it's the top half! She need a looser top with some sleeves, especially in January.
THINGS TELL ME YOU AND ME CAN BE FUCKING REALLY GOOD GODDAMN FRIENDS.
I'm not saying she's fat but when Jessica goes to the all you can eat buffet,they hide the creampuffs.
----------------------------------
it looks painful, to wear and to look at
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
Jessica Simpson is no stranger to plastic surgery..and I'm not talking about her lips and chest. She's had her face tweaked - evidence:
http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/archives/jessica_simpson_smaller.jpg
IMO, just as too skinny looks bad, out of shape does not equal "healthy" either.
Real Girls Eat the Whole Cow!
Camel toe and semi Mom jeans.
Submitted by MaNHaTTaNiTRBiTR on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:30am.
HAHAHAHA, if she IS knocked up, I'm going to have to get knocked up just to cancel out the unfortunate redneck child she will have.
--------------------
I don't believe that for a second. You know Jess and Papa Joe would be shouting it from the rooftops if Jess had a baby in the oven. She must be trying though. Having a baby would make her interesting for a few more months.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CROCS are made in the devil's workshop. Yes, they are!
Jessica is putting on some weight, yes. She's not FAT, but she's gonna get there if she's not careful. I've often wondered if Tony Romo dumped her ass a long time ago but she keeps telling the press that she's still dating his ass just to save face. That would be funny.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy