What The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This?
Jessica Simpson is totally making the "I made a poopy" face. Yes, Jessica, you did. And it's smeared all over your body in the form of that not-right outfit. This is some "Miss Piggy joins the cast of The Real Trailer Park Housewives of Alabama" shit. If you ever want to clear a room or make a grown man cry, wear these diaper mom jeans. Those jeans are making her crotch look all fatty and sloppy. Lardcrotch!
Here's more of Jessica performing at Radio 99.9 Kiss Country's annual Chili Cookoff (how fucking fitting) in Pembroke Pines, FL yesterday. At the show, Jessica told the audience, "I am so excited that I am going to see my boyfriend tonight! My boyfriend is a football player, and he takes up my Sundays and now my Mondays." Replace "football player" with "seven-layer cake" and then this quote would make sense.
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Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 12:28pm.
She has the kind of butt that makes me feel sad for toilets.
LMAO!!!! and don't forget the toilet paper...the extra gritty kind.
Seven layer cake ..brilliant dude !!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
After this gig is over, she'll be shouting O-69! at Bingo Heaven.
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by dramaqueen365247 on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 12:05pm.
Damn. I can't believe I once thought she was pretty.
Hi kdraco!
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hi hunny!!!! *hugging Dramaqueen*
She has the kind of butt that makes me feel sad for toilets.
Snideychick sez:
Jess is lookin' kinda, uh, beefy?
And if those jeans had a bigger flare they'd look like something I wore in 1978 when I was 14.
Submitted by missy on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 12:19pm.
next natural career move: Jenny Craig spokeswhore
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I could see Jessica purposely plumping up in order to whore out some diet plan. Anything to stay "relevant!"
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
@Sheeps- But certainly not her first bowl of chili. Ever heard of Frito Pie?
http://www.texascooking.com/recipes/fritopie.htm
Paris is for stoners.
Wow, in the 8th thumbnail she looks HUUUUUGE!!! Those jeans are really, truly, stunningly unflattering.
next natural career move: Jenny Craig spokeswhore
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 12:13pm.
LOL at Golden Corral.
Paris is for stoners.
so puffy...those jeans wouldn't work on anyone and do nothing for her oddly bloated body
Submitted by anastasia beave... on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 12:07pm.
Also, this is not her first rodeo....
Very funny. Maybe her first chili cook-off?
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Hot Word of the Week: "cacology"
Maybe she's having an affair with Pierce Bronson.
she needs to sing "Come On Over" to a new stylist.
I read she is the opening act for Rascal Flatts.....sad. Years ago, she was headlining....just retire Jess. You are such a tool.
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"what should I say? 'please remove your dick from my ass'?"
- Mrs Rod Tidwell "Jerry Maguire"
Oh man Talk about a walk down memory lane. Damn I wore the same kind of pants to the ice rink almost 36 years ago. LOL I am old and so is the style of those pants LOL
If 30,000 people were there, it was only for the chili, certainly not her. She was probably only there for the chili herself.
Plus, when people are full and gassy, they will plop down anywhere in a food stupor, so the fact that she "wowed" the crowd was only due to folks with massive amts. of indigetion and belching (probably wretching too
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It was a free concert with Alan Jackson and "other" country stars. I'm using the word country star loosly with her.
She's likely discovered that the all-you-can-eat buffet at Golden Corral is the only way she will ever become a HUGE singing star. I bet when she faced away from the crowd there was a loud beeping sound coming from the sound system. Damn, she probably uses a weed whacker to shave her pits!
I know im going to get some dildos thrown my way for saying this but i actually miss the way she looked in her chicken of the sea days. She looks so fuckpigish now....
"I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!"
- Kathy Griffin
Ugh, I just saw her on the Rachael Ray show yesterday (probably an old episode) and now I´m convinced that she really is mildly retarded. Before I thought it was just a ditzy blonde act on her behalf.
It was really painful to watch, she was completely clueless and yet again discussing her fucking farts, what the fuck is up with that?
I can´t understand how any guy could be with her for longer than couple of minutes, she has the maturity of a 10-12 year old girl and her stupidity completely overshadows what she has going for herself in the looks department.
Submitted by Rocket on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 12:02pm.
People mag website is saying Jessica wowed crowd of 30,000 at Chili Cookoff. Wonder if she was one of the tasters? lol
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If 30,000 people were there, it was only for the chili, certainly not her. She was probably only there for the chili herself.
Plus, when people are full and gassy, they will plop down anywhere in a food stupor, so the fact that she "wowed" the crowd was only due to folks with massive amts. of indigetion and belching (probably wretching too)
I just forgured out it's not two belts, it's one belt with 2 buckles?! WTF
High waisted jeans are a big fucking NO!
These are her fat jeans but not for long! She's filling them up nicely and they give her smash ass
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Meh Jessica is short (5'3" I think) so the chunk has nowhere to go; It congeals on her arms, thighs etc. And word to Jess, cinching in your waist is making your derriere look ummm..large-ish.
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"Our interest's on the dangerous edge of things,
The honest thief, the tender murderer,
The superstitious atheist"~R.B.
Also, this is not her first rodeo....
http://www.truejeans.com/blog/image/Jessica-Simpson.jpg
Paris is for stoners.
Jesica not is fat but she has no waist. The belst are supposed to create waist not create a muffing top.
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Damn. I can't believe I once thought she was pretty.
Hi kdraco!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
She's seriously holding in her gut in the first picture.
I am in shock at all the "rings" on her neck and wrinkles on her forehead. WTF? This morning I was worrying about one expression line on my own forehead (yes, I'm shallow) and I am 37!! Thank you Jessica for making me realize that I look wayyy younger than you and I am least 10 years your senior.
This is really not a good look for her.
it's a huge vageen!
*yes, i realize someone probably already said that.
I like the beefy sheriffs in flak jackets in pic 1. Do they suspect some deranged Eagles fan might try to take her out?
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Hot Word of the Week: "cacology"
People mag website is saying Jessica wowed crowd of 30,000 at Chili Cookoff. Wonder if she was one of the tasters? lol
Ken Paves really needs to be shot for the fuckery he has done to her hair!
Just because she now is a "Country" singer, doesn't mean she has to have a wig style/hair pieces that Dolly Parton sported 30 years ago.
High waisted pants, a gaudy belt and tank top is the hillbilly "goin to the rodeo/county fair" uniform for a woman. They love to wear tank tops in 20 degree temps. too!
Bonasera on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:59am.
And I am not saying she's fat...but people yell "oink-oink" when she passes by....
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I am not saying she is fat but maybe that's why she got invited to perform at a 'chili Cookoff'...
just saying
Submitted by madam s. on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:58am.
Frito and devilgirl,
And then off to outdoor flea markets to perform near the hotdog stand.
p-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Amidst cries of SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH!
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
I think she wants a gig on the new season of Housewives - titally looks like something Kim w/ the wonk wig would wear.
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I can't decide which color Snuggie to buy.
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
ABANDONED COUCH - FOREVER HOT SLUT '08 IN MY HEART
Madam S. & redpoint_blackdot: very top heavy
eh but if she is happy and in love...fuck it
but that's NO EXCUSE FOR THAT OUTFIT.
It's like she figured 'country = tacky'?
NOT NICE JESSICA
Why does she look so old? Isn't she in her mid twenties?
And I am not saying she's fat...but people yell "oink-oink" when she passes by....
Ok, seriously, why does she have to bring up Homo?? She was contracted to PERFORM there, not whine about her gay ass Homo.
Frito and devilgirl,
And then off to outdoor flea markets to perform near the hotdog stand.
I'm built a lot like Jessica Simpson, and there is no way in hell I would EVER wear something like that. I can't rip on her for a little weight gain, but I can trash that nasty-ass outfit. This further proves that money can't by style or class.
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:44am.
She has the shoulders and arms of Larry the Cable Guy.
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*falls off chair laffin'*
OMG you guys are so damn funny this monday morning!
i keep thinking of yo mama jokes right now
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
LOFL on "is totally making the "I made a poopy" face"
Thanks for the monday back at work morning giggle.
I can't believe she's at a chili cookoff and is dressed like that... it's just all too comedic. I cannot stop laughing.
Submitted by FritoDorito on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:54am.
Submitted by devilgirl on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:53am.
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Then at a Chucky Cheese for children's birthday parties. Then she'll be a clown.
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Ha, Ha!
Oh, she isn't a clown already?
I can't believe I'm defending high waisted pants. They look great on tall skinny people (like ME) Fat pieces of sausage like J Simp should never choose these.
This is how it's done:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_cuGv3IjzSk8/SKrMob3p6_I/AAAAAAAAAzA/Ih0jjGCV69...
Paris is for stoners.
Romo takes up her Mondays, too? That makes no sense: the Cowboys play one Monday night game. Does she mean she has to nurse him on Monday or maybe dry his tears?
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Hot Word of the Week: "cacology"
Submitted by kdracofan on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:52am.
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I was thinking the same thing. Theres a whole lot of fat hanging from those arms..Shes seems to have gotten top heavy.
"I don't go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!"
- Kathy Griffin
Submitted by FilthyBitch on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:28am.
You're right. I picture mom jeans as having pleats too.
I googled "mom jeans". Here's an accurate representation.
http://msinformedblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/momjeans.jpg
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Sideways, her back resembles a Lasagna noodle.
Submitted by devilgirl on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:53am.
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Then at a Chucky Cheese for children's birthday parties. Then she'll be a clown.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy