What The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This?
Jessica Simpson is totally making the "I made a poopy" face. Yes, Jessica, you did. And it's smeared all over your body in the form of that not-right outfit. This is some "Miss Piggy joins the cast of The Real Trailer Park Housewives of Alabama" shit. If you ever want to clear a room or make a grown man cry, wear these diaper mom jeans. Those jeans are making her crotch look all fatty and sloppy. Lardcrotch!
Here's more of Jessica performing at Radio 99.9 Kiss Country's annual Chili Cookoff (how fucking fitting) in Pembroke Pines, FL yesterday. At the show, Jessica told the audience, "I am so excited that I am going to see my boyfriend tonight! My boyfriend is a football player, and he takes up my Sundays and now my Mondays." Replace "football player" with "seven-layer cake" and then this quote would make sense.
haha what a fuckin fatass! Dude, in a few of those pics, her face is lookin old as shit. She is a tank now.
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
Submitted by adm on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 8:41pm.
yes, the outfit is very unflattering but she's definitely gained some weight and something about her face looks off
...........
Hmmm *scrutinizes pics*... Is it just me or does her nose look different? My nosejob radar just went off!
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Know why they don't play Rock / Paper / Scissors / Pussy? Because NOTHING beats pussy! -- Toom Viltrax
outfit is beyond atrocious... even my 80's vibe inside me is cringing... HOWEVER... im totally into her heavier figure...
she definitely had a hollywood cookie-cutter body at one point... but during that time wasn't she in the midst of an emotional tornado?.... so....
i'd say she is most enviable right now... she's healthy (her weight is perfect... curves are much sexier than bones...) she's happy obviously... stable, has an amazing man by her side, singing country which definitely works for her..
even if you don't like her (and its safe to assume none of you even know her)... do u go home to an NFL QB?
yes, the outfit is very unflattering but she's definitely gained some weight and something about her face looks off
Wow this is truly sad. She has piled on the pounds and looks like a sea cow. That outfit is something Janet would wear on "Three's Company". Her fake hair looks like a mound of straw and her face looks like a mannequin. What more can I say? Oh, her music sucks ass.
Hello all DListers! (I hardly ever post, but your comments are all hilarious!)
What's with the two belts and Mom jeans???
Her body is a long way from her Duke's of Hazzard days.
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
Hell. I hate that shade of jean, especially with a black top. Second to last thumbnail is best.
I can't believe how fat and old she's looking. Damn. Just a couple of years ago she was obnoxious but pretty. Her ex has got to be happy now.
Submitted by Mel_low on Tue, 01/27/2009 - 1:01am.
It is fucking mind-blowing how little fashion sense an individual can have. Who the hell let her get on stage like this? Who let her leave her house? Who let her put the fucking mess on in the first place?! This should have been prevented.
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I blame it on the boogie. :)
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"Suave! Goddamn you're one suave fucker!"
Submitted by aquarius on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 11:13pm.
I wish I could travel back in time and show these pictures to myself when I was 21 and my then-boyfriend could not get ENOUGH of her. Well, maybe I should just forward them to him ;)
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Haha, I had the same problem, same age too.
I don't care much or really like her. She is though, around the 5'3 and under range like I am, and from experience I know it doesn't take much to look chunky, whether it's the choice of clothes or an extra 5 lbs.
I don't know what's with the face, it looks the same but it doesn't.
It is fucking mind-blowing how little fashion sense an individual can have. Who the hell let her get on stage like this? Who let her leave her house? Who let her put the fucking mess on in the first place?! This should have been prevented.
Khensu, it's not that she's that heavy, it's the too-tight clothes. if she was wearing something nicer, she'd look fine. she's putting herself out there in this crappy outfit, so you can't help but pick her apart. my shape isn't so different from hers, I'm afraid, I tend to go up and down like she does, it's just her clother suck so much :) lol
I'm going on the D-Listed diet.
I just read a bunch of comments made by D-Listers about chubby girls, and it'll make me hate myself enough to do something. =P
Riiiight after *eats a twinkie*
Okay, now.
Hey, this really could work, you know!
So, I was at the chili cook off and she really is that fat and she really was that awful. It was SAD.
maybe guys think this is a sexy look? I must be missing something...?
She looks really hard and tranny-like in these pictures...oh, and chubby.
she should seriously rethink those pants and fire her stylist. the belt is a nightmare as well.
I think she got a nose job when her face was thinner and now that she's gained weight it doesnt look right. Would someone please define "mom Jeans" are they too tights or high waisters or what exactly
Am I the only geek that is finding easter eggs in this photo? lmao
I've stories about how she had to have plastic surgery on her entire face and breasts to become famous. Obviously some of that shit is becoming undone because her eyelids look like they've drooped a couple of inches. Also- she looks more like a tranny now than when she could have gained a few.
Then again, the camera always makes you look like a beast if you aren't twenty pounds underweight. Maybe she looks tiny in person.
Yeah, something tells me she's going to disappear for a while and return more emaciated than ever.
That's what happens to all of them too.
i'd make that face too if i was wearing that outfit and singing at a radio station chili-fest.
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I'm dumb so I had to look up "ebullient." It basically means unicorns riding on rainbows flew out of her Hello Kitty.- MK
It's all good...She'll be the queen of the tabloids in a couple of months...
"Jessica Rushed To Hospital As Family Begs Her To Eat!"
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I almost gave two shits once, but I figured I'd better save one in case I ever gave a shit.
Well, I don't want to criticize her current weight gain, but let this be a reality check to all the fucking braindead men who say that if a girl's too skinny she needs to eat a sandwich.
If you're not naturally curvy, weight distributes like shit on women.
Note to men: body fat doesn't miraculously shift to your hips and ass. To all the idealistic fucktards whining about her needing to put on weight before, this is what it looks like.
Now shut the fuck up about girls being too skinny.
I wish I could travel back in time and show these pictures to myself when I was 21 and my then-boyfriend could not get ENOUGH of her. Well, maybe I should just forward them to him ;)
Yikes! She is like Mariah was a couple of years ago. Chubby and wearing clothes WAY TOO TIGHT!
And what has happened to her face? Too much make-up? Bad plastic surgery? Just fat? In some of these pics, she looks plastic.
Not a good look.
I just read this quote on drunkenstepfather:
"...Tony Romo did this to her because he wanted her to look more like a defensive line so he could actually get turned on when they fuck."
HAHAHA!!!
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Can you tell your tits to quit staring at my eyes?
Can't sing, can't act, is dumb as catshit...why do we care? She is so irrelevant....yawn...
WTF? Not just "what happened to her body"? But "what happened to her face'? Jess lay of the "fillers" and lay off the chips and dip too. Oh, fire your stylisst (or hire one)
I like Jessica and all, but I think its about time she throws away those Farrah Fawcett extensions. She looks a lot better when she has her real hair.
She definitely needs to throw away those high waisted "mom jeans". I think all of us women know that those kind of pants make you look even bigger than you really are.
http://www.myspace.com/hes_so_blind
hmmm? did she have the hump on her nose removed??
"The More You Know, The Less You Need"
Even though she's a little overweight she looks MUCH better than she did when she was too skinny and tan.
This reminds me of the way my aunt would dress in the 80'S!
somebody get those belts off of her quick - girl is gonna pop!
Wow, you can tell she's comfy in her relationship. I can relate, unfortunately. I've gone up three or four dress sizes since I've been with my hubby. Not that I'm defending frogface.
complication on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 5:24pm.
luckycharms on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 1:53pm.
We own a Feed and Tack store. I see more mullets and Mom pants than you could imagine.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
DAMN girl dress your size! You're too big for that tight shit now.
I absolutely LOVE the armpit fat...it makes me smile.
hugs y'all
xoxoxo
Submitted by luckycharms on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 1:53pm.
One of my favorite games to play in public is "spot the mom jeans". The person has to be younger than 45 in order for it to be a legitimate sighting. "Spot the mullet" is another good one. You'll get a lot of those sightings at Walmart or the flea market.
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BEST GAME EVER.
many thanks... I shall never be bored again
Submitted by Becs on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 4:34pm.
Jesus Christ...she's turning into Anna Nicole Smith.
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she should be so lucky.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Tupperware is not an eating vessel.
Fat = $$$. She will be the next Jenny Craig spokeswhore. Getting fat, then getting slim gets you on the cover of People Magazine. Only trick in the book for these washed up Hollywood hags. The outfit however has me speechless.
OH WOW she has gained weight and that outfit, Im at a loss for words, her stylist must of been really pissed off at her for letting her go out in public like that, her ass doesnt look so bad in that one shot, but goodness that is one horrible getup. Those pants probably cost 200 bucks or more and I wouldnt want them for free.
Jesus Christ...she's turning into Anna Nicole Smith.
hahahahahaha!!! my trailer trash mom wouldn't even wear that
All of these women in hollywood want to look like one another and in the end they end up like some weirdo michael jackson nose having
fug. Seriously, who has a nose like that naturally and looks good? it looks way too small for her fug face. Either that or her mouth is too fucking wide that her nose just looks freakish.
I'm southern as fuck, so I can't say that I havent been to a chili cook off or two. I used to get stoned and go just to binge on amazing BBQ and chili.
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She looks like a porker...the outfit is beyond horrible
Hideous.
Submitted by Rocket on Mon, 01/26/2009 - 2:31pm.
She's a little overweight, but if she keeps this up, Tony will have to roll her in flour and look for the wet spots.
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Um. Gross.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Happy Birthday, DLISTED!!!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
FAT!
And why does she wear these fug ass jeans anyway? If they make your crotch look fat in the process, why the hell?! And now I'm not feeling too bad about myself EITHER, thank you Jessica!
STFU!!!