Chelsy Davy Is A Dumb Bitch
Someone close to Chelsy Davy should take her in to get a brain scan immediately, because something is not right up in there. She has quit Prince Hot Ginge. Beat me in the face with a boiled horse dick, because I am at a loss. The News of the World says Chelsy just could no longer "put up with his lifestyle" after 5 years together. This weak ass bitch. I could put up with a dozen Black Mambas biting at my ass if it meant I got to lick on Prince Hot Ginge's royal scepter and jewels. Homegirl really ain't right in the brain area.
A source said that Chelsy broke that shit off last week, "The couple had a lot of fun but the relationship has run its course. They are still on speaking terms but the relationship has ended."
Okay, I know that every time Hot Ginge opens his mouth, douchewater-covered shit nuggets come pouring out, but Chelsy just had to shut him up with her vagina. That's what I would do. Whenever he started to speak, I'd just shove my glazed donut hole in his mouth.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go submit my application video (shot in the bath tub, of course) for a spot in the British Army so I can get close to Hot Ginge. It's my duty as an American who loves ginger Brits. He needs comforting in his time of hurt and sorrow. And by "he" I mean his carrot peen.
• 
Submitted by Lory on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:31am.
She swallows and he's into anal...
*
she swallows with her ass?
no too easy.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
You may be the universe's butt-puppet, but I'm its right-hand fist of fate. And tonight... accounts are comin' due.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:36am.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:35am.
Ditto, thank god for low standards!!!
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Yes, or neither of us would ever get laid.
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Wait, you get laid?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:35am.
Thanks for the offer, but I'm really not sponge-worthy.
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That's not what the old men down at the nursing home said about you.
Uncle Ashtray,
Sorry to hear about that. I am very glad that you are recovering and dlisting again! Further proof that dlisters have 7 lives. :D
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:35am.
Uncle Ashtray, I had 3 of my meals through a straw today.
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Cutting back? The Amy Winehouse diet was really working for you, too.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
This is getting good! A fight! Over TV!? He is like Larry at the Regal Beagle.
:D
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Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:35am.
Ditto, thank god for low standards!!!
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Yes, or neither of us would ever get laid.
Slutt.....thanks!
In my own warped way.....all I kept thinking about was that life would return to normal once I logged onto DListed again. If I could just make it to DL.....that was good. Hard to explain, but enough of the sad shit.
Somebody come closer!
Pronto!
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:32am.
Awwww NitWitty........you are too sweet!
Wanna sponge bath together?
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Thanks for the offer, but I'm really not sponge-worthy.
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I almost gave two shits once, but I figured I'd better save one in case I ever gave a shit.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:22am.
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:19am.
I will say that the stuff Plant did with that blind woman was good!
hahahaha. Damning with faint praise.
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Heck Sheeps, I had to get myself out of this mess somehow!
Uncle Ashtray, I had 3 of my meals through a straw today.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:31am.
Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:26am.
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U.A., I am sorry to hear about your experience, and thrilled that you decided to spend your first night home with us.
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Ditto, thank god for low standards!!!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:28am.
I know (eye nose), right? Meanwhile, certain Danes are talking to themselves. *see siggie*
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This is for the Dane:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DToLbYBStgs
(Skip the first 30 secs)
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I almost gave two shits once, but I figured I'd better save one in case I ever gave a shit.
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:30am.
We're just kidding. It would never work anyway, she wants to release white doves at the wedding, I want Swallows.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Mani, I have it on CD. The sound isn't great, but it's great, you know?
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Det er hvad der sker.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:24am.
Hey Grape, where is Ol'Miss? Is it in Madison?
Awwww NitWitty........you are too sweet!
Wanna sponge bath together?
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
Are we playing youtube band off?
My favourite song from the first band I ever saw:
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=1mp_yfDDmig
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
You may be the universe's butt-puppet, but I'm its right-hand fist of fate. And tonight... accounts are comin' due.
IG: Great comment on that vid on YouTube: "Why does the gong guy get more camera time than Jimmy Page?"
You always used to see that percussionist on all those all-star bands from that era.
She swallows and he's into anal...
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:26am.
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U.A., I am sorry to hear about your experience, and thrilled that you decided to spend your first night home with us.
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:20am.
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:18am.
Please marry me TV! I luuuuurves you and your nasty humor!
*
*borrows shank from Farrah*
*furtively sneaks up on DG behind the woodpile*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
*sheepishly* Uh, hey if you and TV have somethin' goin, I will just call up my IV addicted ex and be on my way! Your friendship means more than any spore throwing clown could ever mean to me TITS! Really! You were the first to extend a hand to me when Imade my way onto DListed and I won't let a manor clown come btwn us! Forgive my braisen ways TITS! Can I tell ya a story to make up for my whorish ways?
Grape, r u gone whore? You promised the soma tale!*whining*
well, i must say i totally have the hots for prince hot ginge, that being said... she has total slut face! i'm not even sure what that means, maybe my memory is just polluted with BGC with "dick lips", lmao (the ugly amber giving TEEF). but then i'm reminded of M.K.'s account of having a million red ants (pubes) in his bed OMG LMFAO. that sold meh, totally i'm in complete admiration until the day i die (MK).
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"And I went through this whole thing; am I gay?! Am I straight?! And I realized: I'm just slutty." ~Margaret Cho
"This is supposed to be about delicious booze!" ~MK
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:22am.
Great vid IG!
One of the first albums I ever bought was Derek and the Dominoes...great memories.
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Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:26am.
I wouldn't joke about this. It's true.
It's just great to be back. Thanks for all of these laughs! I've missed this place.
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Unfortunately, we did joke about you..how you ran off to Cuba..or the scienos really did getcha' but sent you good thoughts all the time.
Glad you're back and on the mend tho. xoxoxoxo
And not joking about that to be sure.
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I almost gave two shits once, but I figured I'd better save one in case I ever gave a shit.
I know (eye nose), right? Meanwhile, certain Danes are talking to themselves. *see siggie*
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Det er hvad der sker.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:17am.
Uncle Ashtray, you were missed terribly. Someone said that you went to Amsterdam on vacation and fell in love with a one-legged hooker....wait, the was Paul McCartney....
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Even better.
I was run into by a drunk driver in March.
Woke up on May 9th. Woke up again on June 17th. Got out of the hospital in October and went straight to live in a physical rehab facility until I came home today. Had all of my meals through tubes. Luckily, I can eat through a straw now. The drunk driver, whom I might add already had 4 previous DUI convictions, walked away unscathed. I'm thinking MADD might be on to something after all.
I wouldn't joke about this. It's true.
It's just great to be back. Thanks for all of these laughs! I've missed this place.
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:24am.
I majored in Pharmaceuticals!!!!!! Also, laundryceuticals, airplane glueceuticals, etc.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:22am.
I'm just grooving. Or maybe I'm drunk?
This is OLD!!
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TWO WORDS: FUCK YEAH!
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I almost gave two shits once, but I figured I'd better save one in case I ever gave a shit.
Love that song IG! Eric Clapton is da shit!
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Official
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:22am.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:19am.
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:08am.
I scored a 29 on the Canadian test, but they offered me 5 bonus points if I grow a mullet.
*
Really? Did you tell them you're from New Jersey?
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Yes, otherwise it was 10 bonus points.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:18am.
Nitty, we veared away from each other at some point...
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmUlKPthrag
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ROFLMAO! See, this is why you weren't at the Led Zepplin concerts when you were a teen!
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I almost gave two shits once, but I figured I'd better save one in case I ever gave a shit.
Submitted by zomay on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:19am.
Team Valtrex @ TITS are getting married? Good god which one of you lost a bet with the devil?
*
Not sure, but my naughty bits have dis-coloured and gone numb.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
You may be the universe's butt-puppet, but I'm its right-hand fist of fate. And tonight... accounts are comin' due.
submitted by DevilGirl:
Seroiusly Grape, you need to run out and get the cd Super Swingin' Sexy Sounds, Hellbilly Deluxe, and all the White Zombie cd's and listen to them. Then, when they are complete, you will understand. Also, watch his version of Halloween, House of 1k Corpses and Devilgirl's Rejects!
++++++++++++++
I definitely will...mr. grape usually has control over the music in the house...he is quite impressed with his own musical tastes...everything tends to lean more toward the blues, bluegrass, some old heavy metal favorites of his, and songwriters like steve earle...he used to get fucked up and ride the back roads with his old friend, Silverdust...Silverdust was an older black man like a father to him and he loved old blues...i think that where he began his love for the delta blues...my hub almost majored in blues history at ole miss before he decided to major in pharmaceuticals!
I'm just grooving. Or maybe I'm drunk?
This is OLD!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exzqbr01yf0
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Det er hvad der sker.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:19am.
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:08am.
I scored a 29 on the Canadian test, but they offered me 5 bonus points if I grow a mullet.
*
Really? Did you tell them you're from New Jersey?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
You may be the universe's butt-puppet, but I'm its right-hand fist of fate. And tonight... accounts are comin' due.
Submitted by zomay on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:19am.
scratch one invite off the list
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by NitWitty on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:19am.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:17am.
Uncle Ashtray, you were missed terribly. Someone said that you went to Amsterdam on vacation and fell in love with a one-legged hooker....wait, the was Paul McCartney....
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Well, Slutty said that actually. I just figured you were abducted by the Scienos down there in Fla or DeeDee had another one chained in her basement. You did say you had teef work done now that I think of it.
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I do have an awesome handcuff collection and a nitrous tank in my basement. I also keep Solange "Basement Baby" in there from time to time.
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Official
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:19am.
I will say that the stuff Plant did with that blind woman was good!
hahahaha. Damning with faint praise.
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:17am.
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:17am.
Is there such a thing as a lesbian with long nails?
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NitWitty's are pretty long
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I told you Slutty, I prefer to be called Lebanese.
UA, I love it when you are "trying" to be nice..only cuz I know it really hurts you wayyyyy down..as Led would say..
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I almost gave two shits once, but I figured I'd better save one in case I ever gave a shit.
Submitted by devilgirl on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:18am.
Please marry me TV! I luuuuurves you and your nasty humor!
*
*borrows shank from Farrah*
*furtively sneaks up on DG behind the woodpile*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
You may be the universe's butt-puppet, but I'm its right-hand fist of fate. And tonight... accounts are comin' due.
Team Valtrex @ TITS are getting married? Good god which one of you lost a bet with the devil?
:D
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I will say that the stuff Plant did with that blind woman was good!
Submitted by Sluttsville on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:17am.
Uncle Ashtray, you were missed terribly. Someone said that you went to Amsterdam on vacation and fell in love with a one-legged hooker....wait, the was Paul McCartney....
******************
Well, Slutty said that actually. I just figured you were abducted by the Scienos down there in Fla or DeeDee had another one chained in her basement. You did say you had teef work done now that I think of it.
_______________________________________________
I almost gave two shits once, but I figured I'd better save one in case I ever gave a shit.
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:08am.
I scored a 29 on the Canadian test, but they offered me 5 bonus points if I grow a mullet.
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Nitty, we veared away from each other at some point...
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmUlKPthrag
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
You may be the universe's butt-puppet, but I'm its right-hand fist of fate. And tonight... accounts are comin' due.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:08am.
Aretha tried to record a followup to Stairway to Heaven - Handicap Ramp to the Food Court.
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Why do you have to be so damn funny? Ok, I LOVE THE ZEP! Is the brief wedding back on? I am being rejected all the wayaround tonight, Charles, you, ALL CAPS JIM, Uncle Ashtray.......Jeez, do you fools want me back with the IV drug using, ironworker with no sense of humor(or job)?
Please marry me TV! I luuuuurves you and your nasty humor!
Submitted by NitWitty on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:15am.
Robert Plant...Robert Palmer..you can see how I made that leap, right? Eye nose IG nose how I got there!
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I see how you got there. Then again, maybe it's because I'm only trying to be nice....only trying to be nice.
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/25/2009 - 12:17am.
Is there such a thing as a lesbian with long nails?
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NitWitty's are pretty long.
Uncle Ashtray, you were missed terribly. Someone said that you went to Amsterdam on vacation and fell in love with a one-legged hooker....wait, the was Paul McCartney....