All The Men In New York Want Heather Mills
It's not even noon and I'm already shouting "CUNT!!!" at the top of my lungs. It's going to be a good day. So, it's time for your daily dose of delusion brought to you by the world's most hated whore Heather Mills! Let the c-word roll off your tongue. It's a wonderful sensation.
Heather Mills tells Page Six Magazine that ever since she has moved to NYC, men have been chasing her everywhere! The mega cunt said, "I've got so many stunning girlfriends who can't get a boyfriend. But when I go out here, I get asked out all the time, and my girlfriends - who are better looking than me - say, 'How the hell does that happen?!' Maybe it's because I'm comfortable with myself."
Okay, what kind of men are "chasing" her? Are these Biggest Loser candidates we're talking about, because you shouldn't have to run that fast to catch her. She only has one leg! An alcoholic turtle with irritable bowel syndrome could catch up to her without trying.
I don't think men are actually asking her out on a real date. They just want to get close to her so they can do the world a favor and punch her teeth out to hopefully shut her up for a while. Say it all together now......CUUUUUUNT! It's like cunty music to my ears....
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C is for creepy, U is for Unlovable, N is for Nutcase, T is for Terrible, put them all together and they spell Heather Mills.
It's the economy cunt.
1. They all know how much you received in your divorce settlement.
2. You're the only piece of Beetles memorabilia they can afford.
I'm just a bit curious.The Magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported her profiles were found on the famous rich men seeking affairs site ***wealthymeetup. c om*** last week and she was seeking her sugar daddy there now!
when I go out here, I get asked out all the time, and my girlfriends - who are better looking than me - say, 'How the hell does that happen?!' Maybe it's because I'm comfortable with myself."
....*puppy side eye*
rich and easy one legged vaginal access....that could be appealing....
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dear Lord, please help me not to slap a bitch today, but if I must slap a bitch today, please keep my pimp hand strong. Thank you.
Tony Soprano fucked that girl with one leg...
i'm just sayin...
xoxox
The war isn't working.
They see a cunt with a dollar sign and go for it you stupid bitch
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Ummm dumb ass doesn't realize that everyone knows she is rich now. There are plenty of male golddiggers out there, just look at KFed for example. She is pretty stupid if she honestly thinks men are interested in her for her personality. Damn, she is ugly!
I hope she gets played the way she played Paul McCartney, and by that I mean I hope she meets some guy that convinces her they have true love and then marries her without a prenup and takes her for all she has left. Bitch is savvy but she is still and forever will be just an ugly nasty cunt in my book.
I want to live only till I die, no more and no less - Eddie Izzard
If by men chasing her she means blind, retarded, one-legged virgins then she's probably right.
...to die?
I think they are just intrigued about her taking her leg off to fuck her more easily and turn her in different positions, ya know legs can get in the way of some really good fucking sometimes.
She can hop away that fast with one leg?
I guess she really is trying to protect that bank account!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
The only reason a man would chase her is because of her bank account.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
THE HIGH CUNTESS OF WOODCOCK IS DELUSIONAL.
Paul McCartney is probably thinking he got off cheap in getting rid of this vicious, psychotic cunt.
Thanks, MK. The word "Cunt" when referring to "Dread Pirate Heather Mills" is sweet.
Isn't there some sort of double dog dare to be a mooch on THE gold digger of the decade? Karma is a beyotch, ain't it?
Sweet baby Cheezus, let a speeding cab mow this loud-mouthed, rude, gold-digger c*nt down, and then back over her several times.
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 2:04pm.
I just looked it up, either way seems to be correct.
The funny thing is when I did the search, Jon Heder 's(Napoleon Dynamite, Blades of Glory) picture came up. Ha!
Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:50pm.
Her teefs have long been an issue with me!
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I don't know where i have been on this issue...how could i have missed buck (or is it bucked?) teeth...i guess i got wrapped up in that primary colored striped suit that day she was in court...that outfit was hideous and yet mesmerizing...we need someone to photoshop this head shot on that suit...
i double dog dare someone to try to look away at that image
Submitted by Toonkinstein on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:48pm.
Normally a beaver has to gnaw on trees to have their teeth trimmed....as we can observe here...this beaver clearly has not done this, thus her teeth will begin to grow further down and encircle her head.....one can hope then we no longer have to look at ther cunty face.
I know these things..I am a scientist...well sorta apparently I am a physicist - I have calculated this all...
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a scientist has confirmed the teeth are bucked (layman's term)...this is better than natgeo
100% AWESOME!
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:48pm.
WILBUR!
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One day someone commented that when we hear 'Wilburr' that that will be the sign of the Apocalypse.
Is it time?
Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:49pm.
Yeah, that pixie cut does nothing for her! Her teefs have long been an issue with me!
I have been in psychological therapy for three years now, and I have been cured of my large, faded, aureola fetish, so I am no longer attracted to her for that reason.... Still working on my stump fetish though. :o
DG: i thought it was just me...i do see buck teeth...that new hairstyle really accents the prominent two teefs
WILBUR!
Maybe the ones trolling craigslist for a horse...
__________________I <3 STEWIE!____________________
"An alcoholic turtle with irritable bowel syndrome could catch up to her without trying."
I find this image and sentence a thousand shades of awesome! LOL!
STFU!!!
Submitted by KD on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 11:11am.
TV, I don't think they make legs out of wood anymore.
I wonder if she has a little compartment in her leg, where she can put her wallet and maybe some spare booze.
*
I have a funny story about a pros leg, pot and dallas fort worth airport. Sadly I can't tell it here. Just pretend and laugh.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:19pm.
Granted, but when you listen to the beatles today don't you think they sound awfully trite and insipid?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
She might be confused. Men are not asking her out. They are asking her money out.
Major major difference.
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"Everyone Loves a Fat Guy!" Peter Griffin, Family Guy
...and another thing,
comfort - schmomfort....Cunt Face, they are not after you the men are sniffing at your beatles bux (thanx devilgirl) not your "comfort"....poor delusional pirate.
Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:25pm.
With all of the Beatle bux she has, you would think the ugly twat could get those teefs fixed!
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Normally a beaver has to gnaw on trees to have their teeth trimmed....as we can observe here...this beaver clearly has not done this, thus her teeth will begin to grow further down and encircle her head.....one can hope then we no longer have to look at ther cunty face.
I know these things..I am a scientist...well sorta apparently I am a physicist - I have calculated this all...
CUUUUUUNT we all get along???
It's easy to be chased when you only gots one leg.
CUNT stand her
How nice of her to dis her girlfriends while paying herself an undeserved compliment. The men all pause only because she has money. They see free ride written all over her, in more than one context.
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
- Susan B. Anthony
With all of the Beatle bux she has, you would think the ugly twat could get those teefs fixed!
Her hair has put me off shredded wheat forever.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by princesszoey on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:16pm.
Brushes with greatness!
Seriously though, the Beatles were the most creative talents ever. Their music inspired countless musicians.
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Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:16pm.
We love and respect our DListed! *swak*
Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:11pm.
Submitted by princesszoey on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:05pm.
I was actually inside of John Lennons house in Cold Spring Harbor.*trys to steal doorknobs*
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Damn you! How can you support me without stealing?!?
Aaand I once saw Sean Lenon and didn't know who he was untill I heard some people whispering :(
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Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-
@DevilGirl: Look at us staying on topic!
We are allowing each to be great...KANYE WOULD BE PROUD!!!!!!!!
The one talent this waste of life has is, she can fuck herself with her own leg. There's probably a lot of sick fucks out there who'd pay a buck to see that. THAT'S THE ALLURE. you delusional twat.
Sorry, but she bugs the shit out me.
Submitted by princesszoey on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:05pm.
I was actually inside of John Lennons house in Cold Spring Harbor.*trys to steal doorknobs*
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Submitted by grapedrinkbaby on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:06pm.
Doing good Grape, thanx for asking. Hey, so as to avoid being off topic, i'll meet ya at the water cooler ( open post ) when MK posts it! : )
Theres 2 things id want her to do for me
1)Id like to dress her up in pink and have her stand on my lawn.
2) When fucking her instead of her going OHHH God have her go ARRRRR ME MATEY, YOUVE PLUNDERED ME BOOTY
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
@devigirl: Nuttin up...just cruising dlisted for some laughs...had a day of productivity yesterday...i had to make myself stay off dlisted...who knows maybe someday i'll get a paying job again...it's funny, i want the pay but not the job
damn, i got zero energy today...don't know what the deal is...at some point today, i'm hoping mk will start an open post cuz i found out yesterday, the vet wants to take out my dog's anal glands cause of chronic infection, and she's also got a chronic yeast infection.
If there are any people in this world who give some recs on these two problems, it's here on dlisted...haha!!
How r u, my goodest friend?
Submitted by Manimal5 on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 11:53am.
I could get about $20,000 for that fake leg of hers. Heather...wait...
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maybe more, it was touched by a beatle, you know...
I read this site every single day and I must say, Michael you have outdone yourself on this one.
"An alcoholic turtle with irritable bowel syndrome could catch up to her without trying."
I don't think I have ever laughed this hard in my entire life. Thanks.
Heather, I am no fan of your ex- smug git- but you are a nightmare. If you would just say:
'I'm a tom and now I've got cash by the bucketload I'm having a ball with all these gold-digging boys! By the way- charity sucks harder than I do'
Well, thenI might have some respect for you. But she doesn't, so I don't.
Note: 'Tom' is London for prostitute. I have no idea why.
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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.