The New Church Of Brangie
Long Island, NY will soon be blessed with the holy Brangelina family. Yes, Brangaloonies everywhere will soon travel to the new holy land to kiss the ground St. Angie Jo floats above. Star claims they will move into the $60 million Sassafras estate in the town of Lloyd Neck while Angie films Salt for a few months.
They aren't buying it, just renting it. CHEAP FUCKS! I really don't know what they're going to do. The house is barely big enough for them at only 22,000 square feet. Yeah, teeny tiny, right? Poor Maddox will have to combine his hair salon and knife throwing space into one room. Times are tough.
While Maddox is there, I hope he travels to where the real Long Islanders live so that he can learn and embrace their native culture. When they're done with him, he'll have an Aquanet hair nest that touches the sky and beach scenes painted on his new fake nails.
Here's a few more pictures of their new dump. I also threw in a few pics of St. Angie sticking up her nose at the little people while at the Paris premiere of Baby Old Face.
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Submitted by Lory on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 7:55pm.
You left because of Enid? But she/he is so sweet! A bit crazy and oversexed though. Just let Enid sniff your crotch and she/he will calm down. Trust.
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Oh shit. LOL! Enid is all kinds of insane. I really think it needs help.
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So what if some of the crayons are missing; use the ones still in the box. Maybe the world needs a purple horse.
You left because of Enid? But she/he is so sweet! A bit crazy and oversexed though. Just let Enid sniff your crotch and she/he will calm down. Trust.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Lory on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 7:48pm.
K2, I am to please... ;D
There you are Suga! I thought you had been kidnapped by Enid.
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Here I is! Enid creeped me out so I left. Ugh.
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So what if some of the crayons are missing; use the ones still in the box. Maybe the world needs a purple horse.
K2, I am to please... ;D
There you are Suga! I thought you had been kidnapped by Enid.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
And enter the loonies.
Submitted by skol on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 7:17pm.
you lot wins hands - foaming at the mouth rabid crazies.
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I have been known to gnaw the legs off Barbie dolls and scratch myself in places even my mother didn't see when I was little. So you better really hope I don't foam at YOUR mouth, Skol, because I have PMS and would have no problem ripping your head off and shoving it up Brad's ass. If there was any room left, that is. That pesky strap-on Angie used on him hasn't been seen since the Golden Globes after-party.
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So what if some of the crayons are missing; use the ones still in the box. Maybe the world needs a purple horse.
Submitted by Lory on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 7:36pm.
So Skol, I guess you are in the "I was masturbating to my Mr & Mrs poster when I saw a bunch of jelliz h8rs on the interwebs being meanies to my holy dildos so I just registered 15 minutes ago whining and crying about how can people even think about not liking Brangelina, Oh the injustice of it all!" category. Yeah that will show the h8rs that you are not a loon. Loon.
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Perfectly worded. Classic! still LMFAO!
So Skol, I guess you are in the "I was masturbating to my Mr & Mrs poster when I saw a bunch of jelliz h8rs on the interwebs being meanies to my holy dildos so I just registered 15 minutes ago whining and crying about how can people even think about not liking Brangelina, Oh the injustice of it all!" category. Yeah that will show the h8rs that you are not a loon. Loon.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Oh, and I'm just an Aniston fan. NO dead bunnies over here (stoney). LOL!
Submitted by skol on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 7:17pm.
Oh dear god I've died and gone to the lunatics blogsite hell. Which category do you fall into; immature 16 year olds, Jen Aniston fans, dumped bunny boilers or just plain loonie? I've seen both sides of crazy the Brangelina fans and the Janiston fans but you lot wins hands - foaming at the mouth rabid crazies.
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No honey, you need to get your ass over to JJ. You think this is bad, you AINT SEEN NOTHING YET!
We tell it like it is. They tell the fantasy version. I'm gonna assume if you've seen both sides of crazy - then you must be on one of those sides. Don't tell me you're Switzerland! You're as nutty as the rest .... I think lurkers are screwed up. Isn't that like voyeurism? You just like to watch and observe... too scared to actually join in.
I can't speak for everyone, but I myself am a bunny boiler.
"I really loved her in Saving Private Ryan. I think she was playing the role of steamy pile of warm intestines strewn across Omaha beach. It sure looked like her." -jazzfish on Julia Roberts 1/19/09
Submitted by skol
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Lemme guess. You prefer JJ. Ha!
♥ ThreadKilla!
DListed WEEK IN REVIEW!
I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers
But nothing compares to these blue and yellow Purple Pills!
Oh dear god I've died and gone to the lunatics blogsite hell. Which category do you fall into; immature 16 year olds, Jen Aniston fans, dumped bunny boilers or just plain loonie? I've seen both sides of crazy the Brangelina fans and the Janiston fans but you lot wins hands - foaming at the mouth rabid crazies.
hahaha the replies on this post have been hilarious..tonight ill be having dreams of naked yoga and stinky vinegar douche faces...
Um I think to campaign for his or her possible oscar and to maintain the pretence they are still happy until the event is over. Its keeping up appearances for the sake of business, you know how it works, look how long Madge and Guy kept up the pretence to make sure it didn't overshadow her tour too much (then he obviously broke ranks). It won't be posh and becks, they've been together for years despite his constant infidelity, I don't think they'll ever split. Tom and Katie are in London at the mo promoting his film and a blind item said they checked into separate suites so could only be then otherwise I reckon. We shall see!!! And don't say I don't bring you the good stuff!
Its gotta be them hasn't it? Even if they don't admit it until after the oscars. Only other options are Jlo and Skeletor and Demi and Ashton, but are either of them really one of Hollywood's most notorious couples?
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The only other couple I can think of that has been shoved up our asses for the past few years is Tom and Katie Cruise. And although they've only been in the US for a short time, maybe it's Posh and her hubby.
If it is Jolie & Spitt, why would they do all these premieres together? She could always use the excuse of having 6 kids (2 infants) as a logical reason for staying home and NOT attending every one of these pretentious events. We know she likes the attention and all but if I couldn't stand being with a man, the last thing I'd want to do is hang on his arm pretending to be happy. Face it, Pitt never showed up for Jen's final taping of Friends (which was a huge deal for her) and alot of people speculated (correctly I might add) that they were on the outs. I just don't know if Brangelina is the couple ending it.
Yeah I think you've pretty much summed it up. Guess that's why she looked so pissed off that Anne Hathaway got the critic's choice award. But did she really think stealing a married man from another popular and reasonably successful Hollywood actress would do that for her? How dumb can she be? And by the way, did you see the link I posted under the Sienna thread:
http://ianundercover.com/2009/01/23/iuc-exclusive-major-hollywood-couple...
Its gotta be them hasn't it? Even if they don't admit it until after the oscars. Only other options are Jlo and Skeletor and Demi and Ashton, but are either of them really one of Hollywood's most notorious couples?
Submitted by Keane on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 4:25pm.
K2 - that's so sad though, don't you think, that you're laughing at your partner behind their back? Why would you want to be with someone who you find laughable and obviously don't respect that much?
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Keane: What the tabs are saying is that she was tired of being frowned upon by Hollywood. She felt excluded in social circles b/c of her drug antics, sexual behavior and shenanigans. Being with someone like Pitt would catapult her fame. I've always seen through the fact that he is merely a father to her children. In the beginning they always talked about the "kids" but avoided the relationship talk. She has always used the term "partnership" when referring to the family. Almost as though it's business as usual
You're right, it wasn't until recently that they started to profess their love for one another to the public. Of course we both know it's b/c they are trying to deflect the bad publicity about his infidelity. From what we know about Pitt, it seems they are total opposites. Yes, opposites may attract but they never seem to connect. I think he stays b/c of the children. She stays for the same reasons. Both of them are probably living separate lives - but to keep the brand going they pretend they are the family of the year. I'd bet money that Pitt knew about the affairs she was having. She's a leopard. She'll never change. Her bi-sexuality is who she is. I find it hard to imagine she can suppress it much longer - especially when she lacks respect for her man. Brad may have gotten tired of smoking his bong and hanging on the couch ordering take out with Jen - but he certainly didn't bargain for this. He'll never admit how wrong he was -the embarrassment would be too much for him to handle.
Submitted by lizzieb on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:35pm.
Keep an eye out on youtube for a video called 'English woman cooking pasta sauce and muttering about infamous female popstars'
I will! Sounds compelling.
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La plus grosse vacherie que j’ai faite de ma vie!
Yeah disappointingly I just don't think its gonna get published though. Think she would probably rather pay him off than have it out there. Unless he won't be bought and is motivated more by revenge for being fired. Please dear God let it happen though, the response of the loons will be electric. I can already see them now crying that its all lies and he's a dirty rotten bastard trying to make money out of Brad and Ange and how everyone abuses and manipulates their golden saints. It will be HYSTERICAL to witness!
Submitted by attitude on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 1:20pm.
Brett never signed a confidentiality agreement.
Wow..... Cool. Let the dirt begin. Then they should never have fired him without a payoff. Dummies.
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La plus grosse vacherie que j’ai faite de ma vie!
K2 - that's so sad though, don't you think, that you're laughing at your partner behind their back? Why would you want to be with someone who you find laughable and obviously don't respect that much? Perhaps once she got into it it would have looked too bad on her with the public to split with him. Or perhaps she just uses him to father more children with and because they're a highly lucrative brand? I heard some story about her saying to him that she only stays with him because he's such a good mother to her children! And this was quite early on too. Perhaps they've never been that into each other, he does practically only ever talk about the kids in interviews, only her in recent months to cover up her fuckery. The bizarre lives of the rich and famous!
I don't think it's Madonna either. She's friends with Gwyneth ( who is Brad's ex fiance) ... I bet that's too "6 degrees of separation" for her taste. Vadge blabs it to fishy and it would be all over.
Personally, I considered it to be Pink. Only because she looks somewhat butch and those are the kind of woman she tends to hook up with. The cropped hair is Jolie's thing when it comes to woman.
OH, you know what else I read about this "tell all"? Apparently Mickey and Jolie had alot of laughs behind Pitt's back when he dyed his hair black to match hers and got himself a tattoo. She found that quite hysterical. She laughed at him, Mickey laughed at him, Jen laughed at him, shit, we ALL laughed at him! Even she realizes he's a follower with no depth.
Submitted by Salem13 on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 6:11pm.
Submitted by devilgirl on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 6:01pm.
Hilarious, neither of their movies have won jack shit (so far). What really makes them think they'll win anything Oscar night?
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Its STILL a possibility... who knows, maybe both of them will win on oscar night !!! Can you imagine THAT *shudders*
But again is Gwen Stefani really infamous? She never seems to have done anything to make her be referred to as that. Plus I always got the vibe that a) she was straight and b) she was very in to and very jealous and possessive of her husband (i.e. she stopped him having a relationship with his grown-up daughter Daisy Lowe). I still don't think we've hit on it, I figure its someone much more outrageous but its hard to think of who. It may well be Gwen Stefani though, if they're friends then its possible. But then didn't Gwen also hang out with Britney for a while - maybe they're all at it! If its Ange and Gwen that really would be escalando, and seriously, can she really not be friends with ANYONE without fucking them?!
I just figured it out, it's not Madonna. They hate each because back in the day Madonna dated whoregelina's lover Jenny Shimizu. I know who the female pop star is. It's that nasty bitch Gwen Stefani!(I can't stand her). Mickey said she had the affair with the female pop star shortly after shiloh was born.
Remember when whoregelina and gwen had a play date for their kids. The play date was only a few months after they had both giving birth to shiloh and kingston. Since then all their pregnancies have been around the same time. Gwen had her Zuma around the time she had her manufactured twins
Also I heard she just bought a 2 year old Ethiopian girl she is set to come "home" next month. How ironic just before the Oscars.
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Wait, I thought after she bought Pax she held a press conference and said she was going to be a "stay at home Mom". Whatever happened to that?
Oh yeah she is a liar...I forgot!
Madge is sexier than Brad these days IMHO. Just look at his face in the pics above. He looks like he's trying hard holding his pee in.
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:03pm.
All their staff sign binding non-disclosure agreements, so I doubt he'll publish the book. The agreements have giant penalties (like $5m) for breach; courts uphold those penalties. My guess is he's suing for wrongful termination and using the threat of a tell-all (which threat is kosher) as settlement leverage.
Sheeps, this http://news.lalate.com/2009/01/23/mickey-brett/ says Brett never signed a confidentiality agreement.
Hm, I can't believe Ange would go so old. Madge lost all her sex appeal about 10 years ago. As much as I hate Ange she could do SO much better than that! Its another one of those situations when you think an "affair with an infamous female pop star" sounds sexy, then when you find out who it actually is you go, ugh, gross! Oh dear, I've even e-mailed Ted Casablancas I am that desperate to know. Sad!
Why has it taken me so long to fall in? *slaps hand on forehead*
Just like Princess Di and the Andrew Morton book, Ange is behind this. She wants the world to know Brad is lying as she is bored stiff of his arse and wants to go back to being a wild one. The book will be full of mean things he did to her 'As Ange lay on the bed, wracked with the pain of all natural childbirth, Brad callously rang Jen and said 'the pod is hatching what shall we call them- BWWA HA HA' and so forth.
As for the pop star- it's Madge. A vile image I grant you but think...
1. She has gone lezzie in the past, espec when it gave her publicity
2. She adopted David- prolly Ange said 'if we are to have a truly cool blended family then you must have at least one brown baby'
3.The publicity those two would generate might be enough to satisfy even them.
Watch this space.... first Guy gets his marching orders, then Brad.............
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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.
There is just far too much information being given here.
A tell all book!?!?
Interesting.
Christina Aguilera is a possibility as she must also be missing the vag since hooking up with batboy. But is she really "infamous"? I would call her fairly credible these days. Lily Allen, no way, I've never even heard she fancies women plus she couldn't pull Ange surely. And Vadge well that would be just too horrible to imagine wouldn't it? I was thinking maybe Pink as Ange is supposed to like manly women, but again is she really infamous? I swear if I don't find out who this is I may go insane. "Infamous" just makes me think Britney, Britney, Britney. More guesses please!
I just read about the whole Mickey Brett thing. He started working for her when she was just the freak of hollywood who did any and everything for attention. Apparently he was never asked to sign a confidentiality agreement. Which makes sense because during those days she wasn't a "saint" and didn't have the media covarage that she desperately crave for or have Brad's money to live a lavish jet-setting life. She was just the whore billy bob thornton had just dumped.
CBS new is saying "Sources claim Jolie is seeking legal counsel to block Mickey Brett's expose, which will also expose intimate details of her courtship and sex life with Pitt"
Apparently home boy Mickey is planning to go all out...... According to http://www.hot899.com/default.asp?mn=1.28
" In the book he claims he walked in on Angelina and Brad having sex in her trailer JUST 3 weeks after they started filming Mr. & Mrs. Smith. According to Mickey Angelina won Brad over by doing whatever he wanted in bed, including buying sex toys, paddles, whips, and dressing up in latex. HA! Too funny.
Also he is claiming whoregelina has cheated on Stu-pitt with men and women.(I am not suprised at all)The funny thing is Brad might flip over this, but I honestly think Angelina will not give a fuck infact that attention seeking bitch is probably behind it. She loves shit like this, she love to talk about her sex life and the men she steal. Plus their relationship is sooo over so why wouldn't she. If the book does come out I won't buy it because I will NEVER spend a dime of my money on a thing they do. I'll just wait until the electronic format comes out and find a site to download it.
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
@ Keane
Christina Aguilera? Lily Allen? Madge?
@Sheeps. I shall do as you say. Keep an eye out on youtube for a video called 'English woman cooking pasta sauce and muttering about infamous female popstars'
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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.
Submitted by lizzieb on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 12:24pm.
I'm confused by these feelings, I don't know what to do...
hahaha. Projecting, I think a lot of people don't like the holy couple because they flaunt their holiness. If they just lived well and quietly, people might leave them alone more.
Now, as you cook, make sure you video yourself as proof of your moral goodness.
More importantly, I simply have to know who the "infamous female pop star" is. It can't be many people can it? How many female pop stars are infamous? I can only think of one, and that's Britney, good lord! Does anyone else have any guesses? She would really be scraping the barrel with her wouldn't she. But who else would be referred to as infamous?
Well, as a public service- and to get out of cooking dinner-I've been looking up this tell-all book. Googling led me to a lot of sites where people were throwing their toys out of the pram on two counts. The first was how could he betray them, the second what kind of evil people want a FAMILY to fail. I had a thought. I bet anyone could write a mean book about me and more to the point what kind of ghoul was I to want them to combust and give us all a break. I'm confused by these feelings, I don't know what to do.........
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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.
A.cotw - because if they're doing it just to write off against tax then they're just taking it out of the system where it would be used to fund welfare, health care for the poor etc anyway. Donating money to charity as a way of dodging paying tax only serves to bolster the image/ego of the donator.
Poor Stu-pitt look at your life now, he look miserable as hell and looks like he is embarrassed to be seen with her.
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It's not as if Stu-pitt didn't know she was bi-sexual when he decided to hook up with her. She had that two year live-in affair with that Oriental Acress, Jenny Whats her name and it was known by all. He gets everything his dumb ass deserves. But who knows, he may like threesomes.
Submitted by K2 on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 8:53am.
Former bodyguard Mickey Brett, who served as Angelina Jolie's head of security for seven years, was so close to star that her son, Maddox, used to refer to him as “Uncle Mickey.” But after being abruptly fired by the famous couple after a long-running feud with Brad Pitt in 2007, Brett decided to team up with ghostwriter Robin McGibbon and write a tell-all book.
All their staff sign binding non-disclosure agreements, so I doubt he'll publish the book. The agreements have giant penalties (like $5m) for breach; courts uphold those penalties. My guess is he's suing for wrongful termination and using the threat of a tell-all (which threat is kosher) as settlement leverage.
Submitted by Chicaloca on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 11:27am.
I don't blame him look at her face ewww. Didn't this bitch say she was taking the year off or something.
HIS face is ewwwer.
Submitted by lizzieb on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 9:25am.
Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 9:01am.
I don't think that 'bad' money is any less useful than 'good' money- I think the point is we are sick of people who get very well paid indeed for a small amount of work and feel they should not really lecture others from their mansions and private jets.
Good for you though.
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Thank you, lizzieb. Excellent point. The excessively overpaid should take a lesson from Elizabeth Taylor, who was an AIDS activist long before it was socially acceptable to do so. She didn't nag or brag.She simply said "this is what fame and wealth are for." BTW, the only reason I can stand Big O is for her philanthropy.
Charity work is very enlightening,so it was good for my co-workers, the volunteers, and me.
@Tubereuse:Please excuse me if I annoyed,bored,or disgusted you.Lizzieb is right. My point was that caring doesn't matter as long as the check does not bounce.
Poor Stu-pitt look at your life now, he look miserable as hell and looks like he is embarrassed to be seen with her.
I don't blame him look at her face ewww. Didn't this bitch say she was taking the year off or something.
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Why is she throwing her head back like that. She has a huge adam's apple... And she is a stick-thin anorexic. She really looks bad. She wears big clothes to hide that she is anorexic. I wonder when she is going to check herself in...
ubmitted by K2 on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 9:35am.
LMAO! Now why didn't I think of that! Are you a professional time management thingie?
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No, just really good at multi-tasking:-)!
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show off *wink*
Submitted by lizzieb on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 9:22am.
K2! There's more, ha ha ha ha (from popcrunch, whatever that is, thanks google)
And if that wasn’t salacious enough for you, the upcoming tell-all promises tidbits about Brangelina’s sex life
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I hate getting my hopes up. Do you really think he'll be able to get away with writing this book? He must've signed a gazillion confidentiality papers from Jolie when he was hired. I can't imagine him getting around that. Is that what the ghostwriter is for? Or is he just the person that writes the shit b/c Mickey doesn't know how to? Also, worst case scenario, couldn't he turn this into a fictional book changing the names of the people - but yet we'd all know who he was talking about?!
LMAO! Now why didn't I think of that! Are you a professional time management thingie?
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No, just really good at multi-tasking:-)!
Submitted by A.cotw on Fri, 01/23/2009 - 9:01am.
I don't think that 'bad' money is any less useful than 'good' money- I think the point is we are sick of people who get very well paid indeed for a small amount of work and feel they should not really lecture others from their mansions and private jets.
Good for you though.
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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.
K2! There's more, ha ha ha ha (from popcrunch, whatever that is, thanks google)
And if that wasn’t salacious enough for you, the upcoming tell-all promises tidbits about Brangelina’s sex life.
“She indulged any fantasy he had, including buying sex toys, paddles, whips, and dressing up in latex.”
The security guard alleges that Angie is a habitual cheater who began having a “secret rendezvous” with an infamous female pop star after the birth of the couple’s daughter, Shiloh.
“Mickey set up at least 20 meetings for Angie with this woman at hotels when Brad was working,” says the In Touch spy.
“This is Angelina’s worst nightmare. She trusted Mickey to keep her secrets….This may end their relationship. She’s terrified Brad may leave her when he hears about the mean-spirited things she said about him behind his back and her secret relationships.”
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If you can't be a good example, be a horrible warning. I'm talking to you actually.