Clinically Depressed Poodle Attacks Former French President!! Is It Okay To Laugh?
Seen here is former French President Chirac with his pet Maltese Poodle Sumo. Sumo may seem like your regular poodle: barks at anything that moves, loves rhinestone collars against its fur, sticks its nose up at mutts... etc...etc.. Well, Sumo isn't your regular bitch. The motherfucker is certifiable! The crazy bitch reportedly went after Chirac for no reason and mauled his French ass (or face, this hasn't been confirmed)! Maybe Chirac told Sumo his butt looked fat. You know how bitchy those poodles can be.
Chirac's wife said Sumo has become crazier and crazier over the years. He's like the gay ass version of Cujo! Cujosofierce! The bitch was diagnosed "clinically depressed" and is currently on anti-depressants. She said, "The dog went for him for no apparent reason. We were already aware the animal was unpredictable and is actually being treated with pills for depression. My husband was bitten quite badly, but he is certain to make a full recovery over the coming weeks."
Maybe Sumo was sick of taking Prozac or whatever the fuck they are hiding in his Fancy Feast (you know he eats cat food, he's that elegant). Bitch just wants a damn joint and a DRANK so he can mellow the hell out.
It's obvious that Sumo and Chirac can no longer be best girlfriends. That's why I'm suggesting that Parasite Hilton adopts Sumo. The ugly whore loves dogs, right? Once he's done mauling the wonk off her face, he can go live with Jessica Simpson, then the Kardashians....and so on and so forth.... Sumo: Mauling the dumb bitches of Hollywood one bite at a time!
Thanks DK
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Oh God..that's hilarious
Yeah It's okay, I know I laughed my ass off. You just don't hear that shit everyday. Funny as hell.
Sumo is my fuckin hero! Chirac is a real douchbag!
------------------------------------------------------------- *I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I'm on the dog's side. I agree with Oceanna, Chirac probably deserved it.
The dude smells like luncheon meat and the dog is just hungry.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
That dog is a Bischon!!! My Starr baby looks exactly the same!! Bet this old dude deserved the bite. BAD OWNER!!!
Medicating dogs isn't nearly as unusual as it should be. And I'm confused. Is it a maltese? A poodle? Or one of those mutts with some stupidass name like a pootese? I fostered a poodle a while ago and he was fucking nuts. Nuts. He would stare at the ceiling and bark and growl. Just at the ceiling. I never doped him up though. I just decided to find it a charming little quirk.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
That dog did what I wanted to do to Chirac for 12 years (when he was in power). No. Not bite him in the ass. HURT HIM.
Of course, the dog has access. I didn't. Though I did meet him in the street a few weeks ago. That would have been my window, but first, I didn't want to go to jail, and second, he's retired, so what's the point ?
Now, I have to go after the dwarf (the nickname of our current president in France, btw)... :-))
"Sumo: Mauling the dumb bitches of Hollywood one bite at a time!"
Now THAT is something I would gladly contribute to!
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
LMAO, that made my day, dogs usually dont bite unless provoked for some reason.
Shit, I am going to France and become a dog whispered. Seems like a can make a killing there dispensing doggie meds. Poodles and there's another breed I can't remember the name are just high-strung nasty ass dogs. I would never own one, I'd get a pitbull or Rottweiler before I'd get a poodle.
Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:27pm.
The C word!!!
It was Eddie!!! Yeh Eddie!!! I just picked up a new one he is in..."Igor".
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*whispering* He replaced Jeremy "I have a squirrel on my head" Piven in that.
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Kiss my grits.
The C word!!!
It was Eddie!!! Yeh Eddie!!! I just picked up a new one he is in..."Igor".
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Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 2:21pm.
Oh The C Word.....
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I can't watch the video (n/a outside U.S.) but I'm guessing Eddie? :)
He was the best part of that movie, IMHO.
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Kiss my grits.
Oh The C Word.....
You know who was in that movie don't cha????
Hmmmm....
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi918683929/
Yup, I'm a stalker!
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My dog (15 yrs.) has started going funny but thankfully, hasn't gotten mean/snappy...he does go to the bathroom in the house every once in awhile but as I told a friend, "When I turn 100 I may have a tendency to poo on the floor too."
I picture the poodle looking like this (SFW):
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1618188544/tt0405469++++++++++++++++++++++++...
Kiss my grits.
most dogs get over-excited and aggressive because they don't get any exercise! Hellooo people! Actually, I think it is the same for people too.
My mom had a mentally-unstable dog that was put on tranquilizers. It helped its disposition quite a bit, but the drug was made illegal and it was back to its over-excited self--always hated that pathetic dog.
I guess anybody who wants to hang with an occasionally vicisous pet gets what they have coming.
Yes, this story seems to play on all the stereotypes we have of the french.
Submitted by Rosemary on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 1:55pm.
totally! I always go for the vet meds in mexico.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
In this Us, I bet most people who ask for doggy meds, want to take it themselves. You know when it comes to valium and ritalin, etc.
Prozac made me into a total bitch. I'm sure the same thing can happen to a dog. I'm sure dogs get depressed but i'm thinking give them more attention instead of pills.
The fucking anti depressant wasn't right for him (lol) seriously, just like people, and it made him angry. That's why he/she did it! That's what I think. and I'm sad cause I bet it gets put to sleep. I fucking hate people.
it all depends on why the poodle is Clinically Depressed -- if it's depressed because it's French, that's funny; if it's depressed because it's the poodle for the French President that's not funny ... oh wait, that's funny too .... nevermind.
Submitted by happilygirl on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 1:21pm.
hey~~~~~~~~~
it is wrong for a man have a rich woman or a woman have a wealthy man?It is an absolutely extramarital relationship
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how many times do we have to tell you:
a) GRAMMAR, BITCH!
b) fuck whoever you want. Just make sure "pay: you pay before fuck". Now go try fucking yourself with a Ginzu Knife. Wealthy man might like!
fucking spammer...
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..
This reminds me of that joke: Why do French poodles plant trees along the road? So German Shepards could march in the shade!
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Anybody remember the old SNL sketch about "Doggy Downers" and "Puppy Uppers"?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Poor doggie it's depressed because it's a "French" poodle...!
STFU!!!
hahaha this thread is funneh
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
i've read the comments and yet, i still don't understand how that dog can be certified as clinically depressed.
it's a funny piece of story though.
i haven't committed a crime. what i did was fail to comply with the law.
Clarisse- Yah, it causes dry skin for me, too! I will try the olive oil! He LOVES bread.
KD,
Winter causes dry skin in dogs a LOT.
Olive oil (EVOO! HAHAH!!) is great. It can be applied directly to the dry area or you can soak a slice of dry bread in it and give with one meal a day.
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The French are one the most medicated people on earth, so I'm not surprised they also medicate their dogs. What about more exercise for Sumo instead? The poor thing is just bored out of its mind...
Entre nous... I know it's not funny, but the picture of Sumo the puddle biting Chichi's ass sure cracks me up!
"Maybe Sumo was sick of taking Prozac or whatever the fuck they are hiding in his Fancy Feast (you know he eats cat food, he's that elegant). Bitch just wants a damn joint and a DRANK so he can mellow the hell out."
oh man dlisted is solid gold!
Thanks for the tips everyone! I will try them. And probably get him a different food next time I buy.
See...this is what happens when those rich bitches treat those inbred designer dogs like little people and not DOGS.
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if I don't get some valium I'm going to bite my bosses face off!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch"!?!
Submitted by missy on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 12:30pm.
poodles are assholes
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AHAHAHAA!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by KD on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 12:48pm.
Since there is no open post yet, and this is kind of related...
My dog (golden retreiver) seems to get skin rashes. Is there anything OTC or any vitamins I can give him that will help with that? Last night he was scratching ferociously by his ear, so I yelled at him to stopped, and I looked at it and he was bleeding a little. I put a little aloe on it and he seemed to like that and it was a lot better this morning.
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My dog gets the itchies from time to time and scratches til he breaks skin. This is what I use:
1 part listerine
1 part baby oil
1 part water
Put in spray bottle and apply to affected area.
Submitted by KD on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 12:50pm.
Farrah- no my dad's dogs aren't like yours.
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can i borrow your daddy??
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..
KD:
"A mild spray from Tea tree oilwill discourage your dog from digging at the skin (because the bitter taste). Aloe Vera, Omega fatty acids, and Neem oil are effective treatments. In mild cases it already can be helpful to wash your dogs skin with apple cidre vinegar or use aloe vera."
From this site:
http://www.doggiesparadise.com/dog-skin-disorders.shtml
Submitted by KD on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 12:48pm
i don't know about bigger dogs, but my Daschunds suffer from an allergy that looks like dandruff when they scratch. I bathe them (mess galore) with a special shampoo that needs to stay on for about five minute (more mess) and then rinse (finally!)
they feel soooo refreshed!... and i need a cigarette and a nap after i'm done with them.
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www.poe200th.com
Happy Birthday, in your kingdom by the sea..
French lapdogs are coddled like a spoiled member of the family. The owners take them everywhere--even really nice restos, where they feed them from the table and the waiter brings them a water bowl. Paris has tried to make owners curb their dogs, but the sidewalks used to be covered in crap.
That's nice. Medicate the dog instead of looking at your own behavior as the owner/disciplinarian, or like Hekki said, it could be arthritis or a physical irritant. Why, WHY are humans such dumbasses?
That's more likely a spoiled dog, it sounds more like it. Depressed my butt.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
i bet the dog couldn't stand the french accent anymore.
yeah, well...it's hard out there for a (poodle)
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
Thank you, Campbells! You're telling the jokes for me. --MK
KD - you can give him fish oil pills, they are supposed to keep skin healthy.
Submitted by Farrah on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 12:47pm.
valium Pez dispenser. hahahaa! so convenient for travel times!
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Farrah- no my dad's dogs aren't like yours. He had one that he pretty much trained not to bark and she never did until they got another one that did it all the time, so she started up. But biting has never been a problem. Bite and get wailed on. That's why I was really well behaved, too.
Submitted by Hairicane on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 12:47pm.
Chirac's b.o is my guess.