Chris Evans Would Look Much Hotter Without The Shirt On.....
....and without the wife beater on. Or the jeans. Or the socks. Or the cotton panties (I'm assuming). Or the socks. And he should be lubed and ready to go. Honestly, if your name is Christopher Robert Evans and you were born on June 13, 1981 in Boston, there should be a law that states it is illegal for you to wear any clothing of any type out in public. With our fucking luck, there's probably another 27-year-old Christopher Robert Evans from Boston who is fat, hairy and smelly. If my proposed law passes, he'll be able to flaunt his grossness without punishment. That's a chance I'm willing to take, because this Chris Evans is pure sex.
Here's Chris out in L.A doing..... Oh, who cares?! Just stare hard and try to keep your panty pudding in one area. You don't want that shit flowing into the next cubicle.
He's a fairy. You can tell by looking at his eyes and over-plucked eyebrows.
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"Oh, really? Did she like it?"
"I just love being a whore - you meet the most fascinating paint salesmen and curtain-rod manufacturers!"
He does things to me.
He's such a douchbag! He claims to not drink, smoke, or do drugs. I watched him do all 3 one night in NYC. He's lame.......
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"All Those Who Wander Are Not Lost."
He's all sorts of gross.
If he was blond and a little less muscularly on his arms and chest, I could agree, he'd be hot, but.........
I think he is a good looking guy & has potential to be really sexy. His body looks great to me, he is still thin & lean while being muscular at the same time...He looks like he is cold in that pic & running to car...It also looks like he is with that skank Bikini Girl from American Idol...Is that a celeb he is with or just some random ho?
That tight shirt is waaaay too Chelsea (and I don't mean Clinton). The jeans are kind of wrong, too. Also, haven't we seen "Push" for free on tv? It's called "Heroes" (starting in February, the Heroes are kidnapped by the U.S. government to be used as weapons). Back to Chris, please, please for the love of all that is good, no more Fantastic Four movies (unless your character burns to death all of his partners).
He has the same b-day as me, but a year younger!
He's a homo? He never showed up on my gaydar.
Chris is one. hot. homosexual!!
(Are there nude photos?)
Submitted by rotten_egg on Wed, 01/21/2009 - 9:44pm.
Ok the furry beaver he has stapled on his chest just killed it for me. If there is something I dislike on a man is way too much fur. Manly thing as it is, it's yucky to me.
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It can be very nice if it's soft and not too wirey.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
oh Zolpicrazed you said everything I wanted to say and more. You are wonderous.
Big arms does not a super hot guy make. No drool here.
Submitted by zolpicrazed on Wed, 01/21/2009 - 11:57pm.
To echo a comment he does have a bad case of oldface for his age.
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And that's why you just sit on their face and give them directions.
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"Let your administration go. If they come back, we're all moving to Canada." ~John Stewart to Fox News
To echo a comment he does have a bad case of oldface for his age. Like those gay guys who look 40 when they turn 28 becuase they somehow thought cigs, drinks, and a lil nose candy here and there wouldn't age their skin. Well, it does, and here is proof.
We're doing comfort food. Nobody is comforted by a tuna tower. -xoxo Lily Bass
He has an average face at best. He looks like one of those guys who thought calvin klein boxer-briefs were trendy in the 90's but has since moved on to 2-xist trunks now that its a decade later. If you look closely you can see his hairline is receding in the front. Hot guys don't wear wifebeaters. He is one of those guys that looks good in longshot, but really, giant pecs are your standard of hot michael? Really? That's it? Seems a bit lowballing....excuse the pun. His facial structure is more boring than Brad Pitt's.
We're doing comfort food. Nobody is comforted by a tuna tower. -xoxo Lily Bass
i live in boston and i don't see this kind of dude running loose in the world...where are these creatures located at so i can see them....
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whoa...amber is the color of your energy...
He looks a little douchy, but DAYUM that body's got all the right stuff in all the right places. I would so hit that shit. Fuck, now I have to clean up my clitty litter! TMI?
Ok the furry beaver he has stapled on his chest just killed it for me. If there is something I dislike on a man is way too much fur. Manly thing as it is, it's yucky to me.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Why bother with clothes that are so tight they reveal everything? I heartily concur with MK in affirming that this guy should go naked.
Submitted by TITS on Wed, 01/21/2009 - 9:24pm.
pssst ssh who the fuck is this guy?
I was kinda wondering that myself. I think he did a movie with MiserAlba a few years ago, but I am not for sure.
Meh. I'm don't like a lot of muscles either. Plus I'm going to assume the real muscle that counts (between his ears) doesn't get much of a workout.
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Youthless
pssst ssh who the fuck is this guy?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
friggen hell! i love a guy with muscles and he's tall toooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yummy!!!!
I'm all whosie whatsie here...
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dear Lord, please help me not to slap a bitch today, but if I must slap a bitch today, please keep my pimp hand strong. Thank you.
I dunno, my brother dresses like that and I always give him a hard time about wearing clothes from Baby Gap.
I don't think any man should wear clothes that tight. Period.
He looks too much like a Baldwin to get me wet.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
MC!
I dated an Italian man that was 100lb of hair, 150lbs of attitude. =/ He was a sheriffs dep. and ended up stalking me. Nothing worse than having someone that has access to EVERYTHING looking for you!!!
Cara,
ITA about douchey fratboys!!! There is something about this guys smile though!! I have seen interviews and he just seems really funny and down to earth....
Salem!!!
LOVE the thin man!!!
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Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time.
He looks like a 27 year old frat boy and there is nothing sexy about frat boys. (edit - before I get yelled at, yeah he has a nice body. dress him better and i'm sure he's cute)
Submitted by britegray on Wed, 01/21/2009 - 6:43pm.
He was so funny in "Not Another Teen Movie". The soundtrack is good too.
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ITA. He is fiiiiine and I prefer my men skinny, generally.
Hot people should be taxed in the same way that rich people should be taxed.
Rather than money though, they should offer tokens of beauty. This man for example, should be required to pay the State in teeth.
Marx wrote about the hot/fug divide in some of his less well-known texts. Aesthetic economics should be governed in the same way as monetary economics. The hot people should be forced to make themselves less attractive so as to bring them into line with the fug masses.
I used to be a model, but now I wont wear anything that hasn't come from the House of Derrière, so I'm doing my part.
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Whenever I see a man wear a shirt like that (uh, the kind I wore in the 90s), I figure he's either gay or a total douchebag, so... NO.
Even if a man has a great physique, it's totally a turnoff if he's vain enough to show it off like that. Either do it at the beach or basketball court, or keep it covered up for me to discover later... Plus, my favorite look is a man in a suit, with the jacket off and the sleeves rolled up.
He's only 27 and has a bad case of oldface. Geez.
STFU!!!
Some muscles are really great, but if you have to walk around pumping yourself up all the time just to look good, it kind of loses the natural effect that would make it most attractive. Unless your Michael... :) then rip those fucking clothes OFF!!!
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - 11/24/2008
Hmm, my brother's birthday is the 13th June 1981...thankfully his name isn't Christopher Robert Evans, I don't want my brother running around naked all the time thank you very much!
Plus am I the only one who doesn't find this guy hot in the slightest? He's too muscley for my liking & his face is only ok-ish some of time, not great but ok sometimes. I'd turn him down if he turned up on my doorstep.
This guy just doesn't do it for me at all. He looks like he could be one of the douches in Tool Academy.
Yup. That's how they make them here.
He was so funny in "Not Another Teen Movie". The soundtrack is good too.
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0LBynlA4rM
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Mh1TFbYoCI
Clarisse - is it gross that I'd like to run my fingers through his pelt.
*fans self*
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Cuz' whose to worry if our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you notice life goes on
MC,
I don't mind hair on the chest, just not a pelt!!
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Take Nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time.
Clarisse - mmmm that's nice. I kinda like the furry chest thing. I know it's kinda gross, but it's so manly. grrrowl
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Cuz' whose to worry if our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you notice life goes on
He's an old-looking 27.
He's still Jake from Not Another Teen Movie to me, lol.
*Insert fancy signature here*
FIRST AMMENDMENT: if you are a slut seen with anyone named Christopher Robert Evans born on June 13, 1981 in Boston, you shall be put to death immediately unless your name is TT99.
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"I realize I've made things difficult for you lately." - Sara Tancredi
MC,
I CANNNNNNN'T!!!!
He does thin his chest hair!! Look.
http://wetmen.provocateuse.com/show/chris_evans/01
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Take Nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time.
Dammit Clarisse! Stoppit!
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Cuz' whose to worry if our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you notice life goes on
Please sir, may I have some more??? When I first saw him I dubbed him Yummerton J. Hotpants. Even tho he looks gross in that shirt, he's fucking HAWT. And that movie Push looks cool. So very bangable.
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Cuz' whose to worry if our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you notice life goes on
He busting a move or a fart in that first pic?
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So what if some of the crayons are missing; use the ones still in the box. Maybe the world needs a purple horse.
It is a damn good thing it is the end of the day, cuz I am good for fuck all now!!
http://bestof.provocateuse.com/show/chris_evans
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Take Nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 01/21/2009 - 5:51pm.
He looks like he's running to the potty while squeezing back the turd.
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Yes, and it's not a good look.
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I think I've already been appraised for a couple of hundred pesos, a lame goat and an elderly monkey with a farting problem.--MK
OMG he is freaking hot..yum!