Rock Of Love Bus: Brittany Is A Sock Thief
Tons of shit happened on Rock of Bang Bus last night. It was a fun-filled trash extravaganza as usual. First, Melissa busted her implant when she fell on the ice during a hockey game. A leaky brain and a leaky tittay! Melissa also got caught calling her boyfriend in the middle of the night and telling him she had no respect for Bret Michaels. Captain Obvious also told her man that Bret wears fake hair. Yeah, it was nice of you to join us, Melissa. You're 3 years late in realizing Bret wears hair produced by Mattel (their European branch), but you've got a leaky booby and brain, so it's not your fault. In the end, Bret threw Melissa and her "Made In Tijuana" titties off the show because she talked shit about his bald head. Basically.
But the best part of the episode was when the government check version of Juliette Lewis, Ashley, and the other skeezers found out that Brittany had stolen their sweaty socks from the hockey game! Brittany admitted it but said she didn't steal it. The owner of the hockey joint let her take that shit. After she tongue fucked him in the ass, of course.
There was never any kind of explanation as to why that nasty bitch stole their grossness. Brittany is in the porn game, so I figured she was planning to whore that shit out on eBay. The skanks better check the rest of their shit, because Brittany probably snatched their crusty panties and pussberry-covered tampons. Coming to an Ebay listing near you: Authentic Rock of Love Bus smegma!
And if Maria calls herself a "retired model" one more fucking time, I'm going to make her lift up Bret's bandana and stare at his bald head. That's some Grudge shit.
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They need to rename it Rock of Love Snatch Wars
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this dog is crazy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B72fbXDQ7Lg
The retired model remarks are out of control! But the penthouse pet comments are pretty freaking bad too. I love that she wears her penthouse pet shirt every damn day. We get it, you spread your legs in a magazine.
I love RoLB ..best show on television!I am lusting after Michael's more and more everyday!
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
THANK YOU! Fuck, Maria was pissing me off! I thought I was the only one who noticed it. Either VH1 just edits in the one time she said "I'm a retired Mah-dul" for all of her interviews, or she really fucking says that stupid sentence every time she opens her mouth. I think one of the times it actually made NO sense whatsoever as to what she was about to say. It was like, "I love toast. I mean, I'm a retired Mah-dul!"
I JUST CHECKED EBAY AND THE HOCKEY OUTFITS COMPLETE WITH THE USED SOCKS ARE ALREADY ON THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA ITS SAYS THAT THEY WERE DONATED BY THE PEOPLE AT THE SKATING RINK.....LMFAO
Team Beverly. She's the only one who actually knows Bret Michaels the rocker, not Bret Michaels the reality ho.
This might have been the best episode of a reality competition ever.
ok wel after the Veronica, Rachel, Abe threesome in the shower on RR/RW Challenge
Fuck my life!!
I need to watch this shit. You would think watching a bunch of used up sluts with breast implants and dirty ass weaves would be a little boring and predictable by now, but no!! Those bitches surprise me every season and they sluttier and dumber too.
I'm sure the producers find these chicks hungover at a truck stop/strip club hungover and ask them if they wanna suck Bret's saggy, ashy cock and their like 'count me in!'
She probably stole them for Bret's You, Me and Dupree II audition.
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I never ever thought the day would come when I was actually confused by this shit, but it's happened twice this season. First, I couldn't figure out exactly what the hell happened with the shot on the bar and I have no idea what she wanted those socks for. What the fuck is happening to my brain when I can't even understand an episode of Rock of Love? I think it's time to walk into traffic.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
Maria's actually one of the prettier girls on that show and at the moment, seems pretty sane, too. But that 'retired model' stuff every other minute is getting very old. We may need to make up a 'retired model' drinking game for this show if she doesn't quit telling people!
Ashley is annoying but the bitch is funny as hell
"I had a Cheeseburger earlier, I could have used that shit!"
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Michael K: Pepaw Brokaw has arrived to give us a big handful of Werther's Originals!
First, Natasha the tranny is my #1 girl. She's an aspiring madame for fuck's sake! And in Canada no less. A little confused by her overuse of highlighter on her cheekbones though, playing up her "feminity" I guess.
Second, I am still mourning the loss of DJ Lady Tribe. God bless her for being so drunk she couldn't stand on her own and almost collapsing during eliminations during the first episode in her cheap ass American Apparel one-piece.
Third, okay this is personal because my name is Beverly. Why the hell does the only Beverly I've ever seen on reality tv have to wear camo cargo pants? Seriously, I know she's being played up as the "real" one and yeah, she's smarter than the rest, but dude, come on! Just because you don't want to dress like a skank doesn't mean you have to dress like shit. I am a legimate metalhead/rocker named Beverly and I really don't appreciate her lack of appropriate attire/bras.
Fourth, I would have loved the discount Juliette Lewis if only she hadn't ruined herself with the Hello Kitty tattoo. And the Uggs. Fuck.
Fifth, I'm proud of Bret for actually admitting he has extensions. I got so excited during that part I punched my boyfriend in the arm and said, "He finally addressed it!" He had no idea what I was talking about.
Sixth, hello? Tool Academy? The chick whose boyfriend got kicked off this week made me want to cry she was so pathetic and abused. Also, Shawn's tiny Ukranian/Russian/whatever girlfriend is totally gonna ride him across the finish line. You don't fuck the cold war bitches.
Reality No Show
i was a tad bit suprised when i heard brett micheals saying he wore the finest european hair extensions.
not at the fact that he wears extensions because thats super obvious no one lives under a bandana as much as he does.
but for the fact that he said they were the finest. they way to shiney and fake looking. that looks like some yaki fiber he got in his hair.
and second, i was so happy that scary crazy bitch brittany with her fatness and nasty tits got kicked off. her alone is almost as skeeve as all thoose skanks put together
Michael.....oh Michael.....
You never fail......day in and day out.....to make me piss my pants laughing. Makes me wanna adopt you in a way.
Sorry to be so crude but that's how it is.
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this dog is crazy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B72fbXDQ7Lg
yuck...these broke down skanks are worse than that dj tranny with the ridiculous boobs that got voted out last week...
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whoa...amber is the color of your energy...
I want to punch that fucking Tara Patrick wannabe right in her stupid cheek piercings.
What's her name? Brittania? It sounds like a fucking encyclopedia, which I'm sure the dumb cunt has never picked up a day in her life.
Oh look, it's another Nicole Schertzinger/Kim Kardashian wannabe with the same long dark hair, and the same racoon eye makeup who blows mommy and daddy's money on junky tattoos and piercings.
I know the type and I hate girls like that.
*Insert fancy signature here*
they all look like plastic tranny real doll rejects.
Theyre ALL TRANNYS! Including BRET! He's just a big butch bitch with a bad weave!!!
But I sure do love that Ashy Ashley!!!
POP! Goes My Heart!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 11:41pm.
BWAHAHAHHA
nite, Tigger
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by jussayin on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 11:39pm.
sammyking...put a sock in it!
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*back flip off top of hamper* Uh...jussayin..allow me!
*round house kick to the snatchal area! Ya feeling me sammyking? Huh? Ya feeling me?!
ON T: A leaky boob!? Hmmm..Who stuck their finger in the "dyke" to offset the flow?
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Ok, whores I love you a lot less than I claim to, but slightly more than other DListed whores claim to, but I gotta say 'nighty nite....Get in your warmest jammies and do NASTY NASTY things to your stuffed animals (*side eye to Socky*)...and you whores know you got 'em...., cuz it's gonna be cold as fuck tonight...unless you dumb whores live in a "warm" climate in which case you bitches can't complain about ANYTHING until FUCKING SPRING...I don't care if you get nasally gang raped by a pack of wild rabid squirrels, each with 10" spiked peckers...NO COMPLAINING til spring....
Sweet dreams, skanks...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by gina latina on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 7:59pm.
I'm straight up addicted to this fuckery. I feel kinda sorry for Brittany. She probably took one too many dickslaps to the head.
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MUSHROOM STAMP!
ahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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"This is straight up fuckery."
His Holiness MK, 9/03/08
sammyking...put a sock in it!
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It's been too long...we miss you.
Oh God this has become my dirty secret. That Ashley girl is annoying the living fuck out of me.
Please let her get voted off. OK, I admit she has come out with all the zingers so far.
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I consider it a sign of class and elegance when a lady DOESN'T draw attention to her snatchal region.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 11:19pm.
Now, that I think about it, MONKEY, I no longer believe "the dryer eats the socks" theory...Rather, I believe YOU steal socks to transport large quantities of dryer sheets, Tide, BORAX that you steal from us DListers while we're sleepin'....
Yeah, don't think we haven't awoken to a lil' tussle in our hampers only to lull ourselves to sleep thinking it was all a dream when YOU, lil' MONKEY were stealing socks to transport ill gotten laudraceuitcals, then you turn around and sell the dismantled socks as mere "parts" on the black market to Sock Monkeys in need of organ transplants, all to support you habit! SHAME!
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*deep sniff* Huh?! *hanging little sock monkey head* Sowwy!....I was hopin' by changing disguises every couple of weeks...nobody was gonna guess is was me....Fuck. Time for junkie munkie rehab.
ON T: Bret's bald? Noooooooooooooooooo....! It's not twue! It's not twue!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
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Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 11:23pm.
TL - don't forget xmas stockings. I think out little cock monkey is in league with the whores of whore-ville.
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Come to think of it my stocking WAS missing this past Xmas (true story) SOCKY! YOU GOT SOME 'SPLAININ' TO DO!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 11:23pm.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 11:17pm.
Where the fuck have you been?!
Personally I think she's going to auction them off to the zoo elephants as jerk off socks. But you'd know more about that than I would pookie.
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TV sells jerk off socks to the zoo elephants. Not me..You know he collects money on EVERYTHING.
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and they're USED!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Damn, I wish I had cable so I could watch this shit. Intense!
&&&
"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 11:17pm.
Where the fuck have you been?!
Personally I think she's going to auction them off to the zoo elephants as jerk off socks. But you'd know more about that than I would pookie.
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TV sells jerk off socks to the zoo elephants. Not me..You know he collects money on EVERYTHING.
ON T: Pathetic lot..every last one of them.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
TL - don't forget xmas stockings. I think out little cock monkey is in league with the whores of whore-ville.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Didn't Paris Hilton already beat the "STDs on wheels" idea to death?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 11:08pm.
*HOIK!* *screaming* WHAT THE FUCK! WHO THE FUCK STEALS SWEATY SOCKS?! NASTY, STUPID, UGLY, THIRD CLASS FUCKING TRANNIES!
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Now, that I think about it, MONKEY, I no longer believe "the dryer eats the socks" theory...Rather, I believe YOU steal socks to transport large quantities of dryer sheets, Tide, BORAX that you steal from us DListers while we're sleepin'....
Yeah, don't think we haven't awoken to a lil' tussle in our hampers only to lull ourselves to sleep thinking it was all a dream when YOU, lil' MONKEY were stealing socks to transport ill gotten laudraceuitcals, then you turn around and sell the dismantled socks as mere "parts" on the black market to Sock Monkeys in need of organ transplants, all to support you habit! SHAME!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 11:08pm.
*HOIK!* *screaming* WHAT THE FUCK! WHO THE FUCK STEALS SWEATY SOCKS?! NASTY, STUPID, UGLY, THIRD CLASS FUCKING TRANNIES!
*
Where the fuck have you been?!
Personally I think she's going to auction them off to the zoo elephants as jerk off socks. But you'd know more about that than I would pookie.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Suck it cat h8trs
Submitted by ILoveRArmitage on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 10:12pm.
He deserves what he gets. When you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas, Bret!
...and when you lay with skank bitches you end up with massive stds.
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It's been too long...we miss you.
Submitted by Charles Manson on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 9:51pm.
I WANT A SKANKY WHORE LIKE THAT TO COOK UP MY BACON AND GRITS AND WIPE THE FUCKING PRISTINE ASS OF MY WIFE. WHEN MY FUCKING WIFE DECIDED TO PUT HER BLEACHED SKANKINESS BEHIND HER SHE LET ME GODDAMN FUCKING DYE HER HAIR WITH BROWN SHOE FUCKING POLISH.
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Ain't my Cholly a dreamboat???? *sigh*...His wife is so lucky.....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
*HOIK!* *screaming* WHAT THE FUCK! WHO THE FUCK STEALS SWEATY SOCKS?! NASTY, STUPID, UGLY, THIRD CLASS FUCKING TRANNIES!
Sorry, Cholly. Couldn't help myself with all the caps!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
I fuckin love fake Juliette! That bitch is sassy!
'I didnt know they made bikinis in size fat fuck'
POP! Goes My Heart!
Submitted by BubbleGump on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 9:15pm.
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I suck them out from a distance with my coke straw.
I can really suck.
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But if they are crispy, don't they get stuck in the straw?
Okay. That was fun.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 10:35pm.
Submitted by mike: "Every one of those girls' voices is super-annoying. I'm not sure if it's the voice itself, or the their enunciation."
You know, Mr. Hekki and I complain about this kind of thing all the time. It's not just skanks though. There is a whole breed of woman in NYC; sorority-type girls from good homes and schools who somehow manage to get decent jobs (usually HR, PR or event planning. You know the type.) And every sentence? Is like a question?
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What are you trying to say? Something about where they choose to place their emphasis is annoying? Does it make them seem less intelligent? Does it make you question the quality of their education? Does it make you think they blew every professor just to get a passing grade?
Yeah-- me too.
Karen Flatts's picture
Submitted by Karen Flatts on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 9:20pm.
Submitted by BubbleGump on Mon, 01/19/2009 - 9:15pm.
Sometimes I steal other peoples crispy eye boogers.
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Are these blind people? 'Cause I think it would be kind of hard to sneak up on them otherwise.
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I suck them out from a distance with my coke straw.
I can really suck.
POP! Goes My Heart!
Why haven't we heard from Sock Monkey on this?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Suck it cat h8trs
Goes without saying, but none of these VH! assholes is ever looking for love, just a skank for the night. With that said, seeing these 70 IQ bitches think that they may fall in love is somewhat entertaining. ____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everybody Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Submitted by mike: "Every one of those girls' voices is super-annoying. I'm not sure if it's the voice itself, or the their enunciation."
You know, Mr. Hekki and I complain about this kind of thing all the time. It's not just skanks though. There is a whole breed of woman in NYC; sorority-type girls from good homes and schools who somehow manage to get decent jobs (usually HR, PR or event planning. You know the type.) And every sentence? Is like a question?
There's no declarative. They can be as bossy as shit, but it's always a question. I have no idea how these bitches get hired, because if I were interviewing someone who spoke that way, they would be eliminated from serious consideration. I have no idea how women in the busines world can be taken seriously when they talk that way.
I watch this shit at 11am on Sunday morning on VH1, so I don't have to waste precious time in the evening to watch it. This year seems especially stripperlicious. He deserves what he gets. When you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas, Bret!
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I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?