Open Post: Hosted By Johnny Knoxville
Swab the poopy deck! Seriously, there's a million semen jokes floating in these pictures of Johnny Knoxville in a sailor hat. Just put a condom on your hand and fish one out.
So, this is an open post where you can talk about how you'd like Johnny to hit it from the back while wearing that sailor hat or why everyone in the pictures below don't look amused. Or you can talk about whatever the hell your genitals desire.
I'll start: why is that I always have to go pee pee times 10-minutes before I have to get up in the morning. It's the fucking worse. Whenever the piss is slowly tinkling out of the hole (beautiful visual), I look over at the clock and there's usually around 10 minutes left before the alarm goes and ruins my life. My choices are either to get up completely or to stay in bed and risk pissing the sheets. And my dog has had it with me telling the laundry hos that he suffers from "Fergie Syndrome." Yeah, I don't have children, so I have to blame it on the dog.
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I cannot wait for Big Love. Cannot. Wait. HBO had a Big Love marathon last weekend
Okay, sorry for hijacking the thread. But you have no idea how desperate I've been with all this dry, scratchy stuff around me. First it's my lips, then my sheets. What's next? My vag lips?
But uh, anyway, on Big Love. I've never watched that show (we can't afford HBO) but it always looked interesting to me, so I've currently got the 1st season of it in my Netflix Queue. Is it as good as everybody says it is?
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Submitted by MooNut01 on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 4:07pm.
Enough w/ the sheet talking, can't we all just get along?
Johnny's been sucking cock behind dumpsters for generic brand cigarettes, last I heard.
-ohmy- if you go into the area where they sell a ton of different types of lint rollers, there is also something that can be used to go over the nubbies and it shaves them off. Not sure exactly what it's called, but I think you can get it for under $10.
You bitches are fighting again? Sweet. Whatever happened to Johnny?
someone needs to take MooNut01 out back and put us our of this misery!
Sorry, didn't mean to offend. If I did I apologize. No one said I was, um, stupid, & I just wanted to make sure that everyone knew I wasn't. But seriously, I wasn't trying to insult anyone.
And I will try your suggestion on the liquid fabric softener with a "double rinse". I've got a friend who does that cuz she says the fabric softener gives her daugher yeast infections. I'll also try the "no head" dryer setting. But how do they dry with no head (typo, but I'm keeping it)? Wouldn't that just fluff them around?
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Submitted by Farrah on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:59pm.
who said you were retarded? Next time you might wanna use "stupid" or another word...
Now, back to your sheets. My skin also has the tendency to act up, but use a liquid fabric softener with aloe in them. Do a "double rinse".
What about the dryer? I put mine in "no heat with about three sheets of fabric softener. Then, when i'm done, i get the sheets out, throw in my BF's socks and reuse the softener sheets. Bwahaha!
Enough w/ the sheet talking, can't we all just get along?
"Submitted by Ms. Caligula on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 4:03pm.
I'm willing to bet one of my ovaries that that bitch either used to be a man & had a sex change, OR that she was born with some form of hermaphroditism. But I wouldn't hold that against her if she wasn't such a royal fuck cunt.
And I hear ya on the single
mothers thing. After my mother lost her job as a teacher (long, sad story), I remember her getting up at 4:30 in the goddamn morning to make biscuits at fucking Hardees. I also remember her working her ass off at more than one sewing factory. So yes she had a master's degree (she now calls it her "worthless degree") but when times got tough she humbled herself & did what she had to do.
So Ann Coulter can go choke on her own cock."
My dad was never there - only the times that he impregnated my Mom with my brother and I. Yet, she thinks it was selfish of my Mom to keep us around? Why, because she cared for the kids that she popped out of her vagina.
Seriously, she puts no blame on the men who have walked out of the lives of the women who they helped knock up, and blames women as a society for problems going on this world from crime (raising criminals) to teen pregnancy, etc. I just wish she'd shut up already. I'm so glad Whoopi called her out.
And I thought her mouth was supposed to be wired shut.....
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Submitted by Mel on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:32pm.
Any BIG LOVE fans here?
New season starts next Sunday!
I love Big Love and cant wait for the new season to start, its been too damn long. I am the only person I know who watchs it.
But I will need to get on on demand and catch up a bit.
sheets suck!
I'm willing to bet one of my ovaries that that bitch either used to be a man & had a sex change, OR that she was born with some form of hermaphroditism. But I wouldn't hold that against her if she wasn't such a royal fucking cunt.
And I hear ya on the single mothers thing. After my mother lost her job as a teacher (long, sad story), I remember her getting up at 4:30 in the goddamn morning to make biscuits at fucking Hardees. I also remember her working her ass off at more than one sewing factory. So yes she had a master's degree (she now calls it her "worthless degree") but when times got tough she humbled herself & did what she had to do.
So Ann Coulter can go choke on her own cock.
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Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:57pm.
I'm watching a clip of Ann Coulter on "The View" this morning and my god, she's a giant bitch.
I don't want to get into it, but she needs to lay off single mothers as some do work hard for their children, including my mother who worked her ass off to make sure her kids are the people they are today. God she needs to be stabbed.
@Ms. Caligula. You sound just like me. I leave shit in the drier for days sometimes, the sheets too. And I love your screen name. It brings me back to when I first saw the uncut/raw 70s/porn version of Caligula with Helen Mirren and Malcolm McDowell. I was wrecked for fucking DAYS after seeing that. I couldn't speak. If you haven't seen it, then go right out and rent it - you can prolly find it at one of those cheesy Smoker's Video places.
WHERE THE F IS HOT SLUT OF THE YEAR VOTING? SERIOUSLY...oh yeah, who the hell irons their sheets?
Submitted by Ms. Caligula on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:51pm.
But for the record, I always wash all of my sheets in cold water. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not retarded.
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who said you were retarded? Next time you might wanna use "stupid" or another word...
Now, back to your sheets. My skin also has the tendency to act up, but use a liquid fabric softener with aloe in them. Do a "double rinse".
What about the dryer? I put mine in "no heat with about three sheets of fabric softener. Then, when i'm done, i get the sheets out, throw in my BF's socks and reuse the softener sheets. Bwahaha!
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www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education
Submitted by Ms. Caligula on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:55pm.
ITA. Plus if I don't put the sheets on the bed straight from the dryer then I wad them up and shove into the hall closet.
It's not like my bedroom is going to be featured in "House Beautiful".
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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I'm watching a clip of Ann Coulter on "The View" this morning and my god, she's a giant bitch.
I don't want to get into it, but she needs to lay off single mothers as some do work hard for their children, including my mother who worked her ass off to make sure her kids are the people they are today. God she needs to be stabbed.
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Edit Cuz i'm a knob.
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Fuck off, Ken. They're filming midgets.
Is anyone else ready to get the voting underway for HSOTY?!? What gives MK?
I never have, but that's just because I didn't see the point. Sometimes I get lazy & leave them in the dryer for 2 days after they've dried (don't judge) & when I take them out they're wrinkled as fuck. But it doesn't make any difference to me, cuz their going on my bed where 1.) no one will actually see them but me, & 2.) they're going to get wrinkled anyway.
But that's just me.
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Submitted by -ohmy- on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:41pm.
Alright I HAVE to ask....... has anyone here ever ironed their Sheets??? I need to know.... LOL
Ugh I cant believe im missing open post..or all the golden globe crap I hate mondays!!! Please dont have to much fun!
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I never stay on topic :)
Anybody seen or heard from Mel-Tang????
LCT today?????
Hello??? Is this thing on????
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cortosone cream is so bad for you. i personally hate it. bleached my skin once when i had a dry spot on my arm. wont touch it now.
calendula cream is the way to go... can pick it up at any health food store...its good for burns, scrapes, chapped skin..ect...
-ohmy- on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:41pm.
Alright I HAVE to ask....... has anyone here ever ironed their Sheets??? I need to know.... LOL
I know people who iron their sheets jeans etc you name it they have ironed it
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
y El Bastardo on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:49pm.
Are Buffalo wings really from Buffalos?
Well when you are from another country and they order buffalo wings and you sit wondering where the hell they get the "wings" from the buffalo, its not as funny
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
NO!!! I always wash my sheets in cold water. Well, except for the second time around that I washed the sheets that I have been speaking of. I thought maybe warm water might make them more soft, so I washed them in warm (not hot) water. Is that bad? Could it have made them worse?
But for the record, I always wash all of my sheets in cold water. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not retarded.
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Submitted by Farrah on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:26pm.
@MS Caligula: you're NOT washing them in hot water, are you??
Are Buffalo wings really from Buffalos?
knoxville fucked some girl i knew in college and she gave him herpes. it was when he was filming that retard olympian movie in san marcos, tx. i know because he was complaining about it and was more concerned as to how he was going to explain that to his wife.
For me the hot slut of the fucking year is VINCENT!
too cute man... such a hottie!
www.wordsofautumn.blogspot.com
Submitted by Mel on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:32pm.
I'm kind of a reluctant Big Love fan. The first episode I saw was when Bill was almost having an affair with that waitress, and I was disgusted that a guy with three wives would have an affair. But then I wanted to see how it turned out. After that storyline ended, I only watched it once in a while to keep tabs on what was going on, but then I ended up watching every new episode when I could.
The same thing happened with the show Oz. I watched it once because my friend's a fan and I was horrified. Then I watched another one and I wanted to see if Ryan O'Reilly survived his breast cancer, so I ended up watching it every weeknight until I'd seen the whole series.
Alright I HAVE to ask....... has anyone here ever ironed their Sheets??? I need to know.... LOL
I have not.... but I won't sleep with sheets with little nubbys either so we had to buy new ones. LOL
Ms. Caligula- try also taking vitamin E gelcaps, poking a hole in them and spreading it on your lips. I think you can find them for a decent price at GNC or even some generic brand at the grocery store. Burt Bees made my lips worse, too. I think I'm allergic to something in it. My lips are pretty sensitive and I haven't yet figured out what it is that gives them problems.
-ohmy-: I've heard a lot of bad stuff about the high thread-count sheets! My friend swears hers RIP when her cat's claws get hooked in the tiny threads.
I've never had any problem with the ones I've gotten from TJ Maxx and Marshall's. They're not any name brand, but they're soft and cheap ($50) and like 650 tc. Not the highest, but good enough. Too high a thread count and you have to IRON them, too.
ubmitted by -ohmy- on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:28pm.
been there! i wanted to KILL my ex husband!
thank G'd someone else is killing him now.
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www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education
Ms. Caligula: What works for me is making sure that, as ohmy said, there is no petroleum in the lip balm. My absolute favorite is:
http://www.mountainocean.com/lip_trip.html
Its base is beeswax, which REALLY sticks to your lips and makes a nice barrier. AWESOME stuff. If you can't find it, I'd recommend anything that has a high percentage of beeswax. I have Burt's stuff, but it doesn't have a high enough percentage.
Any BIG LOVE fans here?
New season starts next Sunday!
Submitted by Mel on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:19pm.
Have you ever had a dream where in the dream you had to pee, but couldn't find a place to pee?
Well I have and when I woke up, I actually had to get up to pee.
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I DO ALL THE TIME!! It drives me crazy that I can't find a bathroom anywhere in my dream...but when I finally do and start to go...FOR REAL, I wake up real darn quick. lmao.
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All we are....is dust in the wind, dude.
-Ted "Theodore" Logan
Submitted by -ohmy- on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:27pm.
Initially, a petroleum-based lip balm hydrates the lip’s cells, but repeated use will make the user dependant upon it for moisture.
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Dude. I am ALWAYS tryna tell people that. I was beginning to think I was crazy my own self I had to tell so many people! So thank you for that!
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I just want to say on the sheet topic we bought these 650 thread count Calvin Klein Sheets from macy's and within days they had made like little nubby balls all over the sheets...... like the fabric rubbed with our bodies then formed balls....... and that shizz doesn't wash off. So 100 dollar sheets wasted........ boo!
i went in target today and stocked up on butt wiping sheets...thank goodness for target's dollar days...
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certified in knocking dicks outta mouths...
The stuff I have says it's all vitamin a and vitamin d and then it lists a bunch of things it DOESN'T have...and that's it:) Whew!
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Initially, a petroleum-based lip balm hydrates the lip’s cells, but repeated use will make the user dependant upon it for moisture. Petroleum prohibits the skin from breathing, perpetuating cell dehydration and in turn, increased lip chapping between product applications
Submitted by breaktheleash on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:17pm.
@Ms. Caligula:
Get your sheets at a department store, not some wholesale club. If it ain't 1,000 count threads, it ain't going on MY bed.
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hellz yeah. Even if they are 1,000 thread, if it ain't Egyptian cotton, no way.
That goes for the towels as well.
@MS Caligula: you're NOT washing them in hot water, are you??
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www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:22pm.
Is cod liver oil really from Cod's liver?
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Yeah, um...I had the good sense never to ask that question:)
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@ ohmy - What's wrong with petroleum-based products? It seems like I heard somewhere that it will actually dry out your lips more, but I'm not certain.
@ christine the hoff - Where can I find this "bag balm" you speak of? I've heard it mentioned before, but I don't think I've ever actually seen it.
@ ImpertinentVixen - I'm probably not as well hydrated as I should be. Every time I've started drinking lots of water I always end up feeling bloated & pissing every 15 minutes. But I guess I may have to endure that if I want soft lips! I'm also anemic (I've been taking an iron supplement for over a year, but that shit works sloooooowly) & I've heard that can also give you chapped lips. But I don't know if that's actually true.
@ breaktheleash - I usually get my sheets from JC Penny & I've also ordered some pretty nice ones from overstock.com, too. I learned the hard way that sheets from Wal-Mart were BAD, no matter what the thread count was. But this wasn't technically Wal-mart, it was Sam's Club. And those sheets my mother had were as soft as a baby's butt, I tell ya! I don't think I've ever felt sheets so soft. Maybe my mom just got lucky that day.
I swear the hydrocortisone works - google it
Is cod liver oil really from Cod's liver?
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Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:19pm.
"Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:18pm.
@ILovePapaSmurf:
Well, not hilariously ironic but, somehow, a karmic righteousness..."
Oooh, very true. It still gave me a huge chuckle.
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Yeah, me too, to be fair:)
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My Husband gets chapped lips a lot.... he uses sunscreen then burts bees... at night he puts hydrocortisone on them and it seems to help him alot. The cortisone is just regular you can even do like Walgreens or Longs Drugs brand. Just be careful to not use petroleum based products (you'll be surprised how many lip things ARE petroleum based). I use sunscreen on my lips before applying my lipstick... works for me.
Submitted by Ms. Caligula on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 3:18pm.
Would it work just as good if I rubbed the cod liver oil on my lips? I don't think I can stomach drinking it.
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Ooh gurl, my granpa trained me from young. You can get gel caps too, tho, but he used to feed me BIG huge ones - I hated those. Now I just drink it - it's over in two seconds but it keeps you moist from the inside out - like that...
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