Open Post: Hosted By Johnny Knoxville
Swab the poopy deck! Seriously, there's a million semen jokes floating in these pictures of Johnny Knoxville in a sailor hat. Just put a condom on your hand and fish one out.
So, this is an open post where you can talk about how you'd like Johnny to hit it from the back while wearing that sailor hat or why everyone in the pictures below don't look amused. Or you can talk about whatever the hell your genitals desire.
I'll start: why is that I always have to go pee pee times 10-minutes before I have to get up in the morning. It's the fucking worse. Whenever the piss is slowly tinkling out of the hole (beautiful visual), I look over at the clock and there's usually around 10 minutes left before the alarm goes and ruins my life. My choices are either to get up completely or to stay in bed and risk pissing the sheets. And my dog has had it with me telling the laundry hos that he suffers from "Fergie Syndrome." Yeah, I don't have children, so I have to blame it on the dog.
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:56pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:50pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:46pm.
I *dodging rotten fruit* do NOT think NorthEastern accents are cute...
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Hey, pussycat. I talk like Cyndy Lauper and I think I'm adorable!!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
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Yeah, yeah, tell it to ya mama...
No, I keed, I keed,
You are Mrs. K, a DListed legend, you could have a voice like a dentist's drill and you would still get a pass...*smacking Mrs. K's hot ass*
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You know, I wish this were a chat room and that we had some kind of voice thing going on so we can listen to each other.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Some of those Penthouse and Playboy stories...they get me.
*turns red*
Is it possible to offend a sexaholic?
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:50pm.
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Fuck off, Ken. They're filming midgets.
*
don't know where that's from and don't care all I do know is that I am SO whispering that in a giggle prone persons ear next serious meeting I attend.
I've been sitting here on my bed laughing like a loon for 2 mins just thinking about it.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:53pm.
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:50pm.
YEA for Colin Farrell!!!!!
Best Actor in a Comedy!!
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He looked fantastic. I adore that guy!
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:50pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:46pm.
I *dodging rotten fruit* do NOT think NorthEastern accents are cute...
~~~~~~~~~~
Hey, pussycat. I talk like Cyndy Lauper and I think I'm adorable!!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
**************************************************
Yeah, yeah, tell it to ya mama...
No, I keed, I keed,
You are Mrs. K, a DListed legend, you could have a voice like a dentist's drill and you would still get a pass...*smacking Mrs. K's hot ass*
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by DeeDee on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:54pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:49pm.
Oooooooo, Penthouse Forum stories from a Tiger's perspective. I'm intrigued. Tell me more!
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RUNS BACK IN THE ROOM
What now?
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Clarisse...have you ever read Sherrilyn Kenyon? BBASAP...changing up puters...
_______________________________________________
"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:49pm.
Oooooooo, Penthouse Forum stories from a Tiger's perspective. I'm intrigued. Tell me more!
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:50pm.
YEA for Colin Farrell!!!!!
Best Actor in a Comedy!!
Pudge has a nephew..got 1600 on his PSATs and SATs...but he's too young for you.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:47pm.
Ya know Nits, either my GF has a quick trigger or I'm very good. I was performing oral sex on her and...doing the A B C song. She was done at L-m-n-o-p. LOL
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I would bow to you...but it takes everything I have to not say, "While you're down there, sensei..."
I knew it Mani..it's always the strong, silent type!
_______________________________________________
"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:49pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:39pm.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:38pm.
Mrs K. do you have any wise suggestions on how to render a home unlivable? (Physically, not emotionally.)
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Why does it make me laugh so hard the way you qualified that? LMAO!
*
honest injun time.
Have you EVER known a woman who COULDN'T render a home unlivable - emotionally?
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LOL! Y no...I haven't! Good point!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Pose Like a Chola
VOTE FOR MK EVERY DAY!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:44pm.
Mrs K. do you have any wise suggestions on how to render a home unlivable? (Physically, not emotionally.)
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Invite me for dinner.
*
that's a two-fer.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
Ya know Nits, either my GF has a quick trigger or I'm very good. I was performing oral sex on her and...doing the A B C song.
*
Geez manny is that anything like the eensey weensey spider went up the water spout?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:47pm.
Submitted by NitWitty on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:34pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:26pm.
Ya know Nits, either my GF has a quick trigger or I'm very good. I was performing oral sex on her and...doing the A B C song. She was done at L-m-n-o-p. LOL
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I tried that. I think I might be dyslexic.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:46pm.
I *dodging rotten fruit* do NOT think NorthEastern accents are cute...
~~~~~~~~~~
Hey, pussycat. I talk like Cyndy Lauper and I think I'm adorable!!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Team Valtrex,
Please contact me at bookloversmaymakemypantsfalloff@yahoo.com
Mrs K.
Does he have a brother? Nephew? Cousin?
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Fuck off, Ken. They're filming midgets.
@ TV,
I'll have you know I've contributed mightily to the Penthouse Forum, and besides my DListed posts, I consider it some of my best work...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:39pm.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:38pm.
Mrs K. do you have any wise suggestions on how to render a home unlivable? (Physically, not emotionally.)
*****************************
Why does it make me laugh so hard the way you qualified that? LMAO!
*
honest injun time.
Have you EVER known a woman who COULDN'T render a home unlivable - emotionally?
@TV - reading old Andy Capp comic books while awaiting a bowel movement does not qualify as reading regularly.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
Making a house unlivable? Hmm.
Putty knife dog/cat shit underneath all of the non-carpeted area baseboards. Actually, chicken shit is best...it stinks to high hell. You could have a house smelling like a fricking barnyard in no time. I can't believe I'm actually thinking this out. I'm not even sure what I'm getting out of this? Revenge vicariously? I have a few people I'd love to fucking give the high hard one too. Naw. Too much energy. lol
The poster formerly known as ".". You're welcome.
Submitted by NitWitty on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:34pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:26pm.
Frito, the last time I was down south I was discussing accents between North and South and I was sure I didn't have an accent. She assured me that I "tawked like a dawk from New Yawk".
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I'm sorry, I never heard a word a guy said when he's working his way from North to South.
Ya know Nits, either my GF has a quick trigger or I'm very good. I was performing oral sex on her and...doing the A B C song. She was done at L-m-n-o-p. LOL
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Submitted by FritoDorito on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:27pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:22pm.
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I always thought your voice would sound sexy being that you're a tiger and everything. I kind of figured all of your male mauling victims would get a mad woody when you tell them you're going to eat them. Then they're like wait, shit, she's serious.
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Hehehehe...Yeah, nope...I have a shitty voice and a shitty accent...but I can ROAR like no one's business...no I have a bad accent from living in different shitholes in this country, but I'll tell you, some of the cutest fuckers I've ever heard are peeps that have the RIGHT kind of southern accent...TOO CUTE. I *dodging rotten fruit* do NOT think NorthEastern accents are cute...Sorry, and I'm told I have one...which is one reason why people think my voice is annoying! You fuckers talk like an evil bean fart lingers in the room....And I'm the last one standing in that room, cuz I'm a big bean fart talker....so I don't smell you fart...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:39pm.
PLEASE!
Our house is covered floor to ceiling with books! Plus he reads the New York Review of Books!
Egghead.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:39pm.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:38pm.
Mrs K. do you have any wise suggestions on how to render a home unlivable? (Physically, not emotionally.)
*****************************
Why does it make me laugh so hard the way you qualified that? LMAO!
~~~~~~~~~
TITS already knows the answer to the latter!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:38pm.
Mrs K. do you have any wise suggestions on how to render a home unlivable? (Physically, not emotionally.)
*******************************************
Invite me for dinner.
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:38pm.
Mrs K. do you have any wise suggestions on how to render a home unlivable?
~~
mmmmmmmmmm, let me see.
Mold and a termite infestation oughta do it.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Submitted by Clarisse on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:39pm.
I read every night, and not just Penthouse Forum.
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:38pm.
Submitted by NitWitty on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:34pm.
I'm sorry, I never heard a word a guy said when he's working his way from North to South.
**********************************************
Not even "you sure we're not related?"
OH, SNAP!
************
Hush! I'm looking at Clarisse's pics..But I wouldn't have to ask if he were related to me or my 7 sisters..cuz I'd recognize those move...trust!
_______________________________________________
"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:38pm.
Mrs K. do you have any wise suggestions on how to render a home unlivable? (Physically, not emotionally.)
*****************************
Why does it make me laugh so hard the way you qualified that? LMAO!
♥ ThreadKilla!
Pose Like a Chola
VOTE FOR MK EVERY DAY!
Mrs K.
I just got turned on by "he" and "book"!!!
*wishing for a boy that has read a book in the last month!*
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Fuck off, Ken. They're filming midgets.
Submitted by NitWitty on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:34pm.
I'm sorry, I never heard a word a guy said when he's working his way from North to South.
**********************************************
Not even "you sure we're not related?"
OH, SNAP!
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by SuperJ on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 10:59pm.
Thanks again everyone, I don't feel quite as deranged as I did when I posted my comment. It looks like everyone has a little evil in them.
*************************
Except for me. I'm pure like the driven snow =)
♥ ThreadKilla!
Pose Like a Chola
VOTE FOR MK EVERY DAY!
Mrs K. do you have any wise suggestions on how to render a home unlivable? (Physically, not emotionally.)
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
TV,
Oh hell no! Hands on!!! We likes a play by play though..."We" being "me" but hey....who's taking names???
*sends Nit jay pics!!!*
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Fuck off, Ken. They're filming midgets.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:33pm.
I can't
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:32pm.
Pudge is soooooooooooo affectionate. He actually said "Good-bye" to me this evening when he left for his book club.
He's so dreamy.
*
I dunno Mrs K. That sounds so FINAL.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:26pm.
Frito, the last time I was down south I was discussing accents between North and South and I was sure I didn't have an accent. She assured me that I "tawked like a dawk from New Yawk".
*******************
I'm sorry, I never heard a word a guy said when he's working his way from North to South.
_______________________________________________
"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by DeeDee on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:30pm.
Frito, the last time I was down south I was discussing accents between North and South and I was sure I didn't have an accent. She assured me that I "tawked like a dawk from New Yawk".
-
Hehe! My hub is from Chicago [chee cog go], not as strong an accent as NYers but 'there' just the same. His accent is gone now but I used to tease him incessantly about it. When he'd order us a burger from Burger King he'd say, "I wanna quatta pounda witcheese." "With cheese" was ALL ONE WORD. Aww. Da good ol' days. :))
The poster formerly known as ".". You're welcome.
TV, git yer willy outta yer hands!
Submitted by DeeDee on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:20pm.
Better watch out. She wears the falsies and they tend to fall out when she shakes them too hard.
**************
That, Ho! I thought for sure she'd had "work" done and I was only waiting for the proof. I need to stop waiting for the "Oil of Olestra," and just be happy with your word of mouth instead.
_______________________________________________
"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:21pm.
Pudge is soooooooooooo affectionate. He actually said "Good-bye" to me this evening when he left for his book club.
He's so dreamy.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:29pm.
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mmmmm hmmm
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:26pm.
Frito, the last time I was down south I was discussing accents between North and South and I was sure I didn't have an accent. She assured me that I "tawked like a dawk from New Yawk".
_____________
hahahahaha
Submitted by FritoDorito on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:07pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:04pm.
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My accent is a combo of Shitney Spears, Billy Bob Thorton and Matthew McConahey (I can't spell for shit) very painful to listen to.
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You wouldn't happen to have any of them french fried pertaters, would ya?
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:22pm.
It was going so well until I came across the picture of Paris Hilton (not literally).
-
*wiping tears of laughter*
TV, cut it out. I swear you're gonna wrinkle my damned face with all this laughter and goony smiling at my computer screen. Between you and MK I'm gonna have a permanently frozen, freaky happy face. Thanks.
The poster formerly known as ".". You're welcome.
Submitted by Mustang Sally on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:21pm.
responding anyway: I'm a guy, and I'm affectionate. I can barely keep my hands off me.
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:22pm.
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I always thought your voice would sound sexy being that you're a tiger and everything. I kind of figured all of your male mauling victims would get a mad woody when you tell them you're going to eat them. Then they're like wait, shit, she's serious.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by FritoDorito on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:07pm.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:04pm.
=-=-=-=-=-=
My accent is a combo of Shitney Spears, Billy Bob Thorton and Matthew McConahey (I can't spell for shit) very painful to listen to.
Frito, the last time I was down south I was discussing accents between North and South and I was sure I didn't have an accent. She assured me that I "tawked like a dawk from New Yawk".
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Submitted by FritoDorito on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:07pm.
My accent is a combo of Shitney Spears, Billy Bob Thorton and Matthew McConahey
*
*starts to disrobe*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:23pm.
I sharted. Pleased?
-
LMAO! I haven't heard the term "sharted" in a long assed time. haha
The poster formerly known as ".". You're welcome.