Open Post: Hosted By Johnny Knoxville
Swab the poopy deck! Seriously, there's a million semen jokes floating in these pictures of Johnny Knoxville in a sailor hat. Just put a condom on your hand and fish one out.
So, this is an open post where you can talk about how you'd like Johnny to hit it from the back while wearing that sailor hat or why everyone in the pictures below don't look amused. Or you can talk about whatever the hell your genitals desire.
I'll start: why is that I always have to go pee pee times 10-minutes before I have to get up in the morning. It's the fucking worse. Whenever the piss is slowly tinkling out of the hole (beautiful visual), I look over at the clock and there's usually around 10 minutes left before the alarm goes and ruins my life. My choices are either to get up completely or to stay in bed and risk pissing the sheets. And my dog has had it with me telling the laundry hos that he suffers from "Fergie Syndrome." Yeah, I don't have children, so I have to blame it on the dog.
ShareThis
East Coast in mentality, attitude (it sucks but wtf) hyperactivity, and lack of sleep issues. I wake up at 3 am and I'm like...where's the party? I wanna call people and stuff and so the phone rings on the West Coast.
One ringy dingy...Two ringy dingy.......
Is there a booger in my nose?
Fergie Syndrome?? did I miss a post?
TITS!!!
The siggie is from In Bruges!! Movie that YOU have to see!
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Fuck off, Ken. They're filming midgets.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:39am.
Why can't we just ignore the fucking elephant in the room?
No elephants but lots of other animals:
Weezer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hyoszso38E
*yawn*
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Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:52am.
XTRA Super Duper Speshul Cupcakes.
Eat them slowly and don't drive or operate heavy machinery/equipment....
see u in the morning bunny.
*smooch*
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Does a vibrator count?
XTRA Super Duper Speshul Cupcakes.
Eat them slowly and don't drive or operate heavy machinery/equipment....
see u in the morning bunny.
*smooch*
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
VOTE FOR MK
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
Bradi - please tell me the cup cake is "special"
Hi Bradi! My laptop can't do hearts.
I'm out of alcohol.
I need a padded room.
M.E. on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:39am
*hands M.E. a cupcake with ♥'s in glitter sugar on it*
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
VOTE FOR MK
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
Yes, the elephant on the rag.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:39am.
elephant?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Why can't we just ignore the fucking elephant in the room?
So, if east coasters never sleep and westcoasters, obviously do...WTF is wiff me?
Born an east coaster, raised a west coaster.
Meh. I guess my meth years counted for my east coast side.
SLEEP IS GOOD HORZ!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:30am.
Well, you're a given. Like Angel. She's central and NEVER sleeps.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:30am.
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:28am.
HA! I'm east coast, and I never sleep!
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I am the biggest insomniac that ever walked the earth.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Good night, Nitwitty
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:28am.
HA! I'm east coast, and I never sleep!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
nite, Nitty!
don't forget my boob pics!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Awww all the east coast people are getting sleepy at once.
Shit. Now we have to wait for the aussies to sober up and make an appearance!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
PS..g'night Dee since I was away and missed your fabulous exit...love that nalgas wiggle!!! Out for true now!!
xoxooxo
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Okay, folks...I'd give my left leg, (not really, but just wanted to act like Heather Mills since it's her birthday and all..), to hang with you funny mofo's...but I've got to head out...where's MK's birthing orgasm link when you need it?
G'night! xoxoxooxoxo Save some funny for me to read later!!!
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
@Team Valtrex:
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Well, my friend dated this uber hot and funny guy that talked like Forrest Gump, and I hate to admit, I wanted some of that.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Good night, DeeDee
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
nite, Dee!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by FritoDorito on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:15am.
She was just waay too hot.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
I'm off to bed. Goodnight mah favorite sex hookahs! *pinching all your nalgas* Sleep well. ♥
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:11am.
Submitted by FritoDorito on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:09am.
@Team Valtrex
Did she have the laugh too?
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Yes. I said nothing funny for 3 years.
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You dated that bitch for 3 fucking years?!? Dayum that chick must have had some serious skills, like a really old hooker who had done just about everything...
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:05am.
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Sleep well, you hwat pussycat. May dreams of Mani and the alphabet swirl through your head...oh yeah, and brad on a skewer smothered in a bit of Angie Tartar.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by FritoDorito on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:09am.
@Team Valtrex
Did she have the laugh too?
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Yes. I said nothing funny for 3 years.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
nite Tiger and dot
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
@Hot Bitch Tigerlilly
Good night sista!
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
@Team Valtrex
Did she have the laugh too?
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Nite nite Tiger! I'll be dreaming of your Penhouse stories/maulings tonight.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:57pm.
Some of those Penthouse and Playboy stories...they get me.
*turns red*
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Maybe if you weren't prominently featured in every third one? Did that guy end up paying you for the pizza after all?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Night, TigerLils and everyone. Love ya like I love my basement barbie collection (even my barbie that I made a lesbian with the butch haircut)! I'm out too. I have things to do, elbows to rub, toilets to scrub zzz's to wrangle whilst the wranglin' is good! YAHOOOOOO!
~and scene~
The poster formerly known as ".". You're welcome.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:06am.
Outright Prolonged Laughter!!!!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:59pm.
I had a GF who grew up in Queens, when she got pissed off her accent came back and her voice sounded exactly like Fran Drescher's. And she got pissed off A LOT. If I had a nickel for every time I faked laryngitis just to avoid saying something that pissed her off....
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Ok, hot whores, I wish I could Penthouse Forum you all with my sexay tiger escapades, but the tiger cub ain't feelin' you whores, so the SEXAY ends...I know, I know, such a disappointment since I'm such a hot pussy :-/...but I'll be back...teaching you whores how to nuture your sexay, then EAT THAT MOTHERFUCKER CUZ HE'S JUST A SLAB OF PROTEIN and...um...yeah...I gotta go now...Peace out...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:58pm.
KONICHIWA!
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GAZUNTITE...Now, while you're down there?....
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Is J.K. in an airport? Is that a box-cutter in his hand? *gasp*
The poster formerly known as ".". You're welcome.
Submitted by TITS on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:00am.
Submitted by DeeDee on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:54pm.
Oooooooo, Penthouse Forum stories from a Tiger's perspective. I'm intrigued. Tell me more!
*
Yeah tiger lilly, tell us the one about steak sauce and skewers again.
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or the one about the triplets, a Twister Marathon and a tank of nitrous!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Tue, 01/13/2009 - 12:01am.
Submitted by FritoDorito on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:56pm.
He looked fantastic. I adore that guy!
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And speaking of accents?!?!!?
SWOON.
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As if he's not already a-fucking-dorable, he's got that accent (giggles)
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
You know, I wish this were a chat room and that we had some kind of voice thing going on so we can listen to each other.
*
you first. I love LOVE LOVE a southern accent.
sigh
made more than a few wrong choices for a southern accent...
SIGH
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
Submitted by FritoDorito on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:56pm.
He looked fantastic. I adore that guy!
****
And speaking of accents?!?!!?
SWOON.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Submitted by DeeDee on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:54pm.
Oooooooo, Penthouse Forum stories from a Tiger's perspective. I'm intrigued. Tell me more!
*
Yeah tiger lilly, tell us the one about steak sauce and skewers again.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:56pm.
Yeah, a legend in my own mind!
Actually I sound like a cross between Fran Drescher (as the nanny) and Flipper.
They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning,
No-one you see, is smarter than he,
And we know Flipper, lives in a world full of wonder,
Flying there-under, under the sea!
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I may appear to be free but I'm just a prisoner of your love.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:49pm.
@TV - reading old Andy Capp comic books while awaiting a bowel movement does not qualify as reading regularly.
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It does if I get enough fiber.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:56pm.
Is it possible to offend a sexaholic?
-
Lock-Jaw and a chastity belt?
The poster formerly known as ".". You're welcome.
I would bow to you...but it takes everything I have to not say, "While you're down there, sensei..."
*
KONICHIWA!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Sketti Cat F.T.W!!!!!