I Want Mah Kidney Back!
When you break up with a bitch. Sometimes they want a sweater they left at your house. Or maybe a dildo they left in your ass. Whatever. Well, this dumb bitch right here wants his kidney back. The kidney he gave to his wife in 2001 because she was suffering from renal failure. Some bitches...
Dr. Richard Batista, a vascular surgeon from Long Island, is suing his estranged wife Dawnell Batista (totally hot name) for his kidney back or $1.5 million for the price of his organ. Unfortunately for Dr. GeniusBrains it's pretty much impossible for her to give him back his kidney since it's fucking illegal. His lawyer said, "Of course he wouldn't really ask for that but the value of it."
Dr. DumbFuck and Dawnell were married in 1990. They have two kids together. He agreed to give her his kidney after two transplants quit on her. He claims that after the surgery worked, Dawnell (seriously, that's a hot name) began doing sex to her therapist. HA! Fucking another dude with your husband's kidney inside you. I love this heartless (but kidneyful) bitch!
Four years after the kidney transplant, Dawnell filed for divorce and asked for custody of their kids. That's what triggered Dr. MoronFace to ask for his organ back. He claims he hasn't seen much of his kids, because of her. He told reporters, "There's no deeper pain you can ever express than to be betrayed by the person you devoted your life to. I saved her life. But the pain is unbearable."
Yes, and the pain she will suffer from losing a kidney will be totally bearable. All she has to do is pop a Tylenol, put a warm compress on her back and walk it off.
If by some fucked up miracle he wins, the whole kidney or even half of it, I'm going to sue all my ex-boyfriends for their peens. That was the only good shit about them and I took care of their dicks more than they did. I washed them, sang to them, cuddled with them and kissed them goodnight and good morning. They belong to me.
P.S. - I totally want my wedding picture to look like Richard and Dawnell's. It completely fits the theme of my fantasy late-80s wedding......even though this was taken in 1990. Hey, they're from Long Island!
(Thanks Cora & Malena)
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Miso, is that YOUR cat? What a hunka burning love he must be.
Submitted by Provolone on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 8:24pm.
We Long Islanders are the keystone to America. Take us out and the whole country collapses. Excuse our Escalades!!
But if you could point out a 'classy' region of america id love to hear it."
Point taken, honey. Although I'm a Southerner and freely speak ill of my people.
Those damn Escalades are why I moved from where I grew up to the country. The nice county I grew up in turned into Escalade land.
But I digress ...
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"Now is not the time for my fuckery."
http://girlandherbooks.blogspot.com/
http://dumb-report.blogspot.com
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 8:26pm.
Provolone, congrats on that win. Your comment was the best! I couldn't put the ATM concept together but I did offer 'bukkake' and 'piss sluts'.
i thought my outkast song parody of Ms Jackson was gonna take it. South shore suffolk is where its at!! From Wantagh all the way East is CLAAAAASSSSY!!
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Miso, you're thinking of Jersey. But there is LI's south shaw.
Isn't it called ''The SHO AHHH''?
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VROOM VROOM
I'm a squirrel and that feels greaaaat!!
http://www.myspace.com/kokeshidoll1969
Provolone, congrats on that win. Your comment was the best! I couldn't put the ATM concept together but I did offer 'bukkake' and 'piss sluts'.
Well, it depends on where on Long Island one hails from. If they live in Muttontown or Locust Valley or Brookville it is a whole different world from the Island's Suffolk South Shore. Now that is trash!
Submitted by Madam Pince on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 8:20pm.
Long Islanders are just as bad as Deep South trailer trash.
We Long Islanders are the keystone to America. Take us out and the whole country collapses. Excuse our Escalades!!
But if you could point out a 'classy' region of america id love to hear it.
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Submitted by TheStraightMan on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:29pm.
I know it's my balls talking, but I can't blame the guy. Gives the bitch a kidney and she starts humping someone else. And won't let him see his kids?
I hope the kidney fails on her.
Hate me bitches, but I'm just keeping it real.
Cheers.
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I tend to wear my ovaries on my sleeves, but I think I'm team Spurned Husband on this one too. He should have removed the bloody kidney while she slept---Urban Legend style.
“I ejaculate boiling venom, so I’d need to wear like fifty condoms.”
They are going to call it a "gift" and throw it out. Trust.
Long Islanders are just as bad as Deep South trailer trash.
P.S. -- Anybody know why her kidneys failed? Probably the same illness Cojo has or something like that, since she qualified for two previous transplants.
P.P.S -- if the bastard is petty enough to sue based on his wife's infidelity, he probably deserved being shafted. I can't speak for Long Island, but where I live, this kind of publicity would kill a doctor's career.
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"Now is not the time for my fuckery."
http://girlandherbooks.blogspot.com/
http://dumb-report.blogspot.com
Submitted by kred on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:50pm.
Well, marriage sucks and you never get back what you put into it.
hahaha. Cynical but nicely said...
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Send me a picture and I will let you know if I believe you are cute enough for free oral. I will not go down on anyone who is on the rag unless we are dating. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Men can be petty bitches too. Long ,true story short, my ex-bf was such a little bitch that he wanted his $10.00 universal remote he got me for my TV, when things were good.
Not the same as a kidney mind ,but the same petty bullshit.
Douchecracker-yes ,I said it...Douchecracker.
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VROOM VROOM
I'm a squirrel and that feels greaaaat!!
http://www.myspace.com/kokeshidoll1969
Damn, you can just tell she's an AquaNet whore with that big ass feathered hair.
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Dick happens! - MK
Pssht...he should just sell his other kidney on EBay....No really he should....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by kiwikim on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:16pm.
If you marry a trophy wife, don't be surprised when she walks off with the trophy.
That sums it up nicely.
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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK
Damn, you can tell she was a greedy bitch. Look at that damn dress. He better win this damn case. Seriously.
Side note, if she was boinking the sex therapist, why didn't he offer up a kidney. Bitch, it's because he wasn't that into you. God, what a moron!
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"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Evidently Mr. Nice Guy never read "The Merchant of Venice."
Shylock much?
Who's the bastardista now?
...
Submitted by Urfavweapon on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:26pm.
This guy is actually a really nice guy, real genuine.
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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK
What a worthless piece of shit turd. Despicable.
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I'm not sure I want all my neuroses cleared up.
This is a 1990 wedding?! Are you freaking kidding me!
That is soooo 1985!
This kidney story can either spawn a really good Lifetime movie or a really cheesy "Sexyback" song parody.
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"Where I come from there's something called a blood feud."
- Theodore Bagwell
He gives the bitch his kidney to save her life, now, they are divorcing and he wants it back, by killing her? Or leaving her on dialasis while she waits on the donor list?
Jebus. Why not just fucking shoot her in the head?
Asshole.
@jussayin--
Right? Like any dude is gonna get 1.5 million for his organ. ha!
(Maybe Mah Boo.)
<<<
Submitted by jussayin on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:47pm.
I guess now you gotta put body parts distribution in your prenup
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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK
Well, marriage sucks and you never get back what you put into it.
I guess now you gotta put body parts distribution in your prenup.
and he looks like a punk ass bitch!
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Submitted by MrPossumsMama on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 12:18am.
Vote for MK - he's coming in 2nd by only like 1000 votes:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
Polls close Feb 13
Submitted by Farrah on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:26pm.
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:22pm.
what a bastardista
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today's thread brought to you by the number 69 and the word bastardista.
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i'd like to thank Oscar, the Academy, Ernie, Elmo and "Count" Dracula who taught my every number and letter that i know of
thank you, thank you veri much
;))
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dude was hot back then.
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:30pm.
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:27pm.
i don't know! out of spite, I don't want to go there and give them a hit
Me neither! LOL
Submitted by shut the smurf up on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:27pm.
i don't know! out of spite, I don't want to go there and give them a hit
.
I know it's my balls talking, but I can't blame the guy. Gives the bitch a kidney and she starts humping someone else. And won't let him see his kids?
I hope the kidney fails on her.
Hate me bitches, but I'm just keeping it real.
Cheers.
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:25pm.
GO NOW and Vote for MK/dlisted - BEST BLOGGIE!!
Who is this Oh No they didn't!! fucker??? and why is it winning??
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:22pm.
what a bastardista
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today's thread brought to you by the number 69 and the word bastardista.
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www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:22pm.
what a bastardista
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today's thread brought to you by the number 69 and the word bastardista.
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www.va-holocaust.com.
Tolerance Through Education
GO NOW and Vote for MK/dlisted - BEST BLOGGIE!!
You can vote once every 24 hrs! Go right now!
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
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He is right,cut the bitch and get your kidney back kindneyless dude!!!.
Divorce him and THEN fuck the other dude. Is that too hard?
whatever.
The pics are hot, a match made in Long Island Heaven.
what a bastardista
.
if his goal is to embarrass his estranged wife then it's backfiring on him...big time.
and nothing says "please let me see my kids" like being rude and crude to the person who is in control of the kids (i'm assuming he hasn't gone to court for visitation).
IM GOING TO RUIN MY FUCKING IMAGE HERE. YOU PEOPLE REALLY DONT FUCKING KNOW WHAT SUFFERING IS. I HAVE NO MONEY. I LOST MY FUCKING HOME. I HAVE TO FILE FOR FUCKING GODDAMN BANKRUPTCY. I HAVE TO LIVE IN A FUCKING STUDIO APARTMENT. I HAVE TO EAT FUCKING GODDAMN MACCORONNI AND CHEESE OR GODDAMN HAMBURGER HELPER. OH FUCK. SPARE ME. TRY SPENDING YOUR TIME IN A 12X12 BLOCK ROOM WITH NO TOILETE WITH 14 OTHER PEOPLE WITH ONE FUCKING FEEDING A DAY OF A RICE AND CHOPPED UP ROACH BOWL. ALL THE FUCKING WHILE TRYING TO LIFT UP YOUR BUDDY'S HEAD TO EAT AFTER HE HAS BEEN FUCKING TORTURED FOR 3 HOURS. YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR MOTHERFUCKING TUNE REAL QUICK ON HOW GOOD YOU FUCKING HAVE IT IN THE USA.
...next he'll be asking for his hotness back because apparently she took that too...
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....working the kidney kiosk at the mall for extra cash....
Submitted by Charles Manson on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:44pm.
YOU GODDAMN FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. THE MOTHER OF YOUR STUPID FUCKING CHILDREN ARE ALIVE BECAUSE OF YOUR GRACE. I CAN SEE WHY SHE DIVORCED YOUR SORRY ASS MOTHERFUCKING ASS. GO FUCKING EAT A ROACH DINNER WITH THE FUCKING VIET CONG YOU ASSHOLE.
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I read this in Newsday yesterday and was totally shocked. In his suit he does stipulate that if he doesn't get money then he'll settle for getting the kidney back.
BTW, they have three children, not two.
Although be it a little strange, Charles Manson brings up a good point. She's the mother of his THREE children, and for that he should be thankful. What's the monetary equivalent of swollen ankles, stretch marks, blue veins, or carrying children for a total of 27 months? Or even worse, labor pains?
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." [Mrs. Kravitz of dlisted.com]
Submitted by Happy Hour on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:11pm.
So she is a Whore and he is bitter. it is normal.
That is a wonderfully succinct way to put it!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:08pm.
You sniffed! HA! Well, corn syrup has a sweet smell....
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
So she is a Whore and he is bitter. it is normal.
Well, this dude has the right to be pissed off at the ungrateful bitch he chose for a wife, but I trully hate the sue-happy attitude.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 7:03pm.
speaking of keeping score.
smells more like corn syrup than maple. i'll check again tomorrow if it's safe.
*guilty side-eye*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip": Ignatius J. Reilly.
....this douche has been taking lessons from the Christie Brinkley School of Whining and Manipulation.....
...and you know Judge Judy would shove his balls right up his ass into the space where his long lost kidney used to live...
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....I'll be working the kidney kiosk at the mall for extra cash....
I believe with all my heart that one should never bring up gifts or favors done. Whatever it is, you give and that's it.
I have a sister who is all about "keeping score" with her family. "I did this for you, so you'd better act the way I want you to", kind of thing.
I can't stand it.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Fuckin' for organs?
I have heard it all now!!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by Farrah on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:54pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 6:52pm.
@Cholly: Hmmmm...interesting segue to the Viet Cong Cholly....you seem to be a man of mystery to me. Vietnam vet?
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Cholly is SERIOUS AWESOMENESS.
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That he is. He is full, bursting even, with pulchitrude. I've been waiting all my life to use that word.
*frisson* Thanks Cholly.
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"Je fume,je bois,je baise.Triangle équilatéral."
~Gainsbourg
Farrah:
yeah, I take really good care of myself but still have high blood pressure, heart problems, etc...type one diabetes sucks the big wang I tell ya!
I can't afford the pump, it's only free for children with diabetes here, not adults. I got the disease when I was in my early 20's, so sucks to be me!