Just As Long As His Eyebrows Are Okay
Manchester United footballer and the star of many homo's dreams, Cristiano Ronaldo, completely annihilated his £200,000 Ferrari in a car crash earlier today. The eyebrow deities were with Cristiano, because he walked away with all his brow hairs perfectly in place. You know he has his precious brows insured.
The crash happened around 10:30 this morning while Cristiano was driving through a tunnel in Manchester. For some strange reason, he hit the side of the wall, sending the barrier and his car parts flying across the road. This is probably what happened: Cristiano got a glimpse of his sexy self in the rearview mirror, causing grease to explode from his every pore which made the break pedal a little oily and then...well... you know what happened next. It's dangerous being that gorgeous.
Cristiano pretty much sweats liquid gold, so The Sun says he's just going to write off the car. The price of the Ferrari is what he makes every other week. Eh.
A £200,000 Ferrari can be replaced with the kick of a ball, but having stunning eyebrows that make people get on their knees and pray is irreplaceable.
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Submitted by mike on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 10:13am.
You mean he's NOT gay?
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I don´t think there have been any gay rumours about this one, in fact, he apparently has quite the taste for prostitutes (female ones).
You could make your bacon and eggs on his greasy face
he's a footballer? fuck, he looks like if you threw something at him, he'd run away screaming.
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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.
Poor car!
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
I don't even think he's pretty. BECKS is pretty.
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"Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”
- Lily Allen
LMAO @ Love Anderson and Bella.
OH Gawd I'm snortling here.
Ehhh, he is far too pretty! Never even heard of him but in this pic, he is so NOT worthy of homo's wet dreams.
LMAO @ grease to explode from every greasy pore (MK).
Excuse me while I go and exfoliate..
If he's not of The Gay, he is the WORST kind of MetroDouchey straight guy.
I am feeling generous and giving, so I declare him to be of The Gay.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
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parissucks,
I SO agree.
Submitted by bisou on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 10:08am.
Cristiano Ronaldo is the douchiest douche who ever dared to douche, surpassing the doucheness of Timberlake, Wentz and Mayer.
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LOL, my thoughts exactly. It doesn´t get any douche-ier than this guy...
greasy lips, rubber hand, "wet look"
ew.
He is gross. I have no idea why anyone would find this guy hot. There is no accounting for taste I guess.
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"Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”
- Lily Allen
Maybe he should wipe the grease off his hands before driving. Poor car!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
You mean he's NOT gay?
he is icky...eewww....just ewwww!! he is so greasy, like he is coated in vaseline. he is just not attractive to me at all.
*yawn*
has Shitters gone nuts again yet?? no??
*zzzzzzzzzzzzz*
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
The lip gloss, waxed eyebrows, and giant diamond earrings means he's a bottom, right?
Submitted by TexnDoc on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 10:10am.
Eh, I read he fled from Parasite Hilton at a party like a vampire from garlic, so I can't hate.
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HAHAHAHAH!
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Eh, I read he fled from Parasite Hilton at a party like a vampire from garlic, so I can't hate.
dur: he didn't know how to drive such sexy car....poor car
Wow, that poor car.
RIP Ferrari.
I remember going to see my car a long time ago after a drunk driver totaled it, I started crying and wondered how I walked away.
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
VOTE FOR MK
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Cristiano Ronaldo is the douchiest douche who ever dared to douche, surpassing the doucheness of Timberlake, Wentz and Mayer. He also looks like a homo permatan turtle.
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In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 10:06am.
Lip gloss? Fucking LIP GLOSS? This is one of the only cases where I would actually prefer a man is a drool machine instead of LIP GLOSS!
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Shrek 2 reference! "Strawberry... wanna taste?"
What color lip gloss is that?
He's too.......shiny.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
Lip gloss? Fucking LIP GLOSS? This is one of the only cases where I would actually prefer a man is a drool machine instead of LIP GLOSS!
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
damn, look at those girlie hands.
he was prolly plucking a stray when he lost control of the car
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"thats my favorite bible saying bitch!"
vote for MK come on hurry up vote often
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EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Why are his nail beds so short?
Yes, I notice these things.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.