The Original MiserAlba
Now we finally know where MiserAlba got her beautiful bitchface from. She got it from her moms! Yeah, I too thought this was Kathy Griffin in a remake of Shallow Hal, but it's just MiserAlba's mama je'e.
You know, I think I might have a bitch crush on Catherine Alba. I mean, she's a ginge, albeit a fake ass one, and she's mastered the total cuntface. I'm also getting a little bit of "Jeana from The Real Housewives of Orange County" flavor from her. And who doesn't love Jeana?
I hope Catherine crop dusted MiserAlba after she said this shit about her mom last year, "Everyone in my family is heavily overweight I wanted to be healthier, so I started cooking for myself when I was 12 years old."
Heavily overweight?! What an asshole! That's big and beautiful to her! I guess MiserAlba is a bigger bitch than her mom. Well, she was given the tools and she did it better.
Here's Big MiserAlba and Lil' MiserAlba doing stuff yesterday. And also Lil' MiserAlba with new hair today. It's nice to see that her new haircut didn't fuck with her precious bitchface.
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Hekki, go repost that on the Steve Martin thread.....heehee
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"Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”
- Lily Allen
hahahah van-c.....it totally looks like Wynonna to me!
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"Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”
- Lily Allen
Submitted by Athina: "I must live under a rock, but I have never heard the term crop dusting before."
Damn ya, now I had to look it up. Never heard the term, but am guilty as sin of the act.
And it totally grosses me out to smell someone else's farts. I feel poisoned.
And kind of OT, but today I went to the library and this horrible smell hit me right away. I was LITERALLY 20 feet away from the homeless old guy sleeping in a chair and I had to put my scarf over my nose. There was a lady sitting not too far from him and I wanted to ask her if she was hard of smelling. Gah! It was freezing and rainy and I feel for him, but he smelled up the entire first floor of the library.
DeeDee: Here's the Yahoo/AP link on losing your long-running status as home of teen births:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090107/ap_on_he_me/med_teen_births;_ylt=Ap0...
PS: Steve Martin sux.
☆ www.SugarMommyMatch.com ☆ the best and most effective online dating for sugar mommies and sugar babies in the world.
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parissucks...I thought that was Wynona too. Gawd, I feel like I look like that after eating my way across the southeast this X-mas break!
/wow
no offence to my dlist friends, but that is a huge bitch.
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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.
I'll be first in line for that musical Tigerlilly! You have a gift you hwat kitty cat!
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:47pm.
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:40pm.
*forgoing the unreliable Wikipedia and holding head out window* It was Mississippi.
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Don't forget to close you mouth this time. Bugs in your grill are very unattractive......Wikinator.
Edit to say: Ovine formerly known as Wikinator.
LOL @ island girl
sounds like me with my dogs. haha
begging bastards, they get the side eye every time I eat!
Disclaimer* i love them very much and gave them freakin people food ONCE and damn they caught on. So now I say "I'm eating!" and they slink off to beg from 20 feet away. Classic.
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
☆ www.SugarMommyMatch.com ☆ the best and most effective online dating for sugar mommies and sugar babies in the world.
Casual dating, sex relationships and discreet encounters are just some of the things you will find in the best upscale personals site.
I must live under a rock, but I have never heard the term crop dusting before. I can not stop laughing. I swear, my ribs hurt because I've been laughing for 10 minutes straight.
Wynonna Judd is Miseralba's mother?
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"Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”
- Lily Allen
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:23pm.
DeeDee, tell the truth. You be a sex hookah! :)
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See, it's DListed lines like this that convince me MK needs to take his shit to Broadway for:
DLISTED: THE MUSICAL
I can see refrains like
"you're just a sex hooker
you're pimp's your booker
that john's just a looker
YOU'LL NEVER, EVER FIND LOVE.....
WHY?
cuz you're a sex hooker,
a lowly sex hooker
and your cock sex cooker
is set over and above.....
KAPLOW....!
The death of a sex hooker...
The lowly sex hooker...
And it's so very sad
how disgustingly bad
were the men that took her..."
DLISTED THE MUSICAL.... STARRING JESSICA ALBA CUMMING SOON....
see whores I'm on topic...Jessica Alba is starring in our DListed Musical play....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:37pm.
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And suddenly, Mrs. Alba and DeeDee are not the craziest sex hookers in the looney bin.
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Ho, don't pretend you aren't my roommate at the Belleview Psych Ward. You and Mama MiserAlba always stealin' mah chocolate puddin' at lunch.
...angel, LMAO at your chola-rization avie!...you ARE the master!....she might need a few razor blades in her hair, though, like the good chola mamasita she is...she does have that "I'm gonna cut you bitches look!"....
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.....and then there was the guy with the strangulated blue-black hemorrhoid the size of a baseball...
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:40pm.
*forgoing the unreliable Wikipedia and holding head out window* It was Mississippi.
nah, I can't blame her for not wanting to looking like her mama.....
shit, I don't want to look like her mama either.
her mama got bullneck!
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"Hasta la bye bye!"
How dare she call her own mother fat! She got that way only because the sound of her eating Pringles drowned out Jessica's bitch voice.
MiserAlba's Mama keeps the fire burning down below..as I will while I'm out for a bit. Don't use up all the snark while I'm away, you nasty sex hookers!
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by Brittny on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:40pm.
I bet when the holidays come around they all give her the side eye and hoard the finger food.
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Sounds like any given Sunday at the folks' place! I am sick and tired of fighting Grandma over the drumstick. :)
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:32pm.
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Just more proof that there are too many brain surgeons and not enough ginges to make fun of in Hollywood nowdays, eh?
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:33pm.
Hey, Dee: I saw online today that another state has just replaced NM and TX as the states with the most teen moms. Coincidence?
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Prolly not. What state replaced NM and TX, because that some accomplishment.
Geeez what a couple of sour fucking grapes. Damn. You're rich as shit, lighten the fuck up. I cannot look at Miseralba the same...just a fuckin sour lil bitch! And I cant believe she said that shit about her fam! I bet when the holidays come around they all give her the side eye and hoard the finger food. What a cunt.
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
Submitted by carefreea on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:29pm.
My childhood was so bad that my ears are so damaged that I can only listen to Jessica Simpson :'(
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And suddenly, Mrs. Alba and DeeDee are not the craziest sex hookers in the looney bin.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
I have finally figured out why MiserAlba always looks so pissed. She lives in fear that she is going to look just like her Mama MiserAlba!
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Bye! Good
Submitted by DeeDee on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:28pm.
I'll just admit it loud and proud: IMMA SEX HOOKAH!
Hey, Dee: I saw online today that another state has just replaced NM and TX as the states with the most teen moms. Coincidence?
Stuff an apple in the mouth and put her on the spit, this fat pig is ready for the roast!
Hot damn. I'm no fan of Jessica "I Hate That I'm Latina" Alba, but anyone who can slide out of that massive beast and manage to look anything less than utterly deformed deserves some respect in my book.
OK, this mamacita is my new favourite ginge. Well, aside from Rojo, Prince Harry, Lucille Ball and this little shit disturber.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aff4G-4Tcd0
P.S. IG has her own sexsion in the Childhood Psychiatric Encyclopedia books at all known teaching institutes.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Lets sum this up right now, dammit.
Alba has a mother like The Madonna and yet she's embarrassed. Tiger was never fed enough Gisele Buncha' meat from Victoria's Secret. Slutty hails from West Virginia, ('nuff said) and DeeDee was deprived of kolaches as a child. Stocky, my cup runneth over so don't beat yourself up about that rash.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Hehehe no offence taken, I just read back and giggled.
My childhood was so bad that my ears are so damaged that I can only listen to Jessica Simpson :'(
You're right IG. I'll just admit it loud and proud: IMMA SEX HOOKAH!
I wonder if Mama Miserabla has any county tatts?
DeeDee, tell the truth. You be a sex hookah! :)
Submitted by Stock Broker on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:17pm.
Oh, I forgot to add: I had jock itch in junior high from wearing a cup
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Didn't your P.E. teacher warn you not to wear Nitty's cup?
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:14pm.
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:10pm.
Jaysus, I hate when I do the DP's.
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I totally misunderstood that.
I'm such a ho. *sigh*
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No, it's understandable that our minds automatically went to the DT's. Lets face it, we've all been there...well, at least Slutty and DeeDee anyway. And perhaps Mrs. Alba..but that's just speculation.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:15pm.
Submitted by carefreea on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:46pm.
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We're just a buncha' worn out hookers, really.
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Speak for yourself, hookah. I prefer to think of myself as an "Professional Escort" TYVM.
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:12pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:03pm.
Pssht...That's nothing...I suffered a hangnail, several paper cuts, and a really bad haircut when I was a kid...*breaking down, sobbing*...No, I'm Ok, I'm Ok....I just need a moment....
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*dons her Nurse Ratchet costume from her H.S. play and brings in her mercuricome and scooby doo band-aids* Tiger, I'm here to mend your broken heart and heal your traumatic tiger cub heart.
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*wiping tiger tears*....hangnails and paper cuts HURT...but the psychological trauma from that bad haircut???....*breaking down again, sobbing*....No, no, I'm Ok, I'm strong like that... I gotta Alba up...*wiping tiger nose on NitWitty's shoulder*...Yes, all of you out there who've had a traumatic childhood, like me or Jessica "I hate my fat Hispanic family" Alba can look up to me...There is a light at the end of the tunnel...
Oh, and Nitwitty, did I tell you about the time I stubbed my toe? *breaking down again, sobbing*...That shit really hurt!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:13pm.
TV died like 3 times or some shit when he was a kid!
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Which is it? Did TV die 3 times when he was a kid or did he shit when he was a kid?
So that "sucking on a lemon" look is an inherited gene passed on from mother to daughter.
Is that seriously a helio?
It's not like MamaAlba was hanging pantless from a ski lift or anything. Nothing to be embarrassed about there.
In fact, Jessica should be so lucky to achieve half the gorgeousness of her mama!
Oh, I forgot to add: I had jock itch in junior high from wearing a cup....does that get me a sympathy pass for a shitty childhood?
Submitted by carefreea on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 8:46pm.
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Please know, we're havin' a piss and a laugh..but in no way at your expense. We're just a buncha' worn out hookers, really.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:10pm.
Jaysus, I hate when I do the DP's.
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I totally misunderstood that.
I'm such a ho. *sigh*
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TV died like 3 times or some shit when he was a kid!
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:03pm.
Pssht...That's nothing...I suffered a hangnail, several paper cuts, and a really bad haircut when I was a kid...*breaking down, sobbing*...No, I'm Ok, I'm Ok....I just need a moment....
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*dons her Nurse Ratchet costume from her H.S. play and brings in her mercuricome and scooby doo band-aids* Tiger, I'm here to mend your broken heart and heal your traumatic tiger cub heart.
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Jaysus, I hate when I do the DP's.
Submitted by Stock Broker on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:07pm.
I had the chicken pox as a kid...does that count for something?
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Only if the KFC that I had counts.
Nits and Slutty.... a golf ball through a tailpipe? And I mean the one on a car, you dirty hos.
I had the chicken pox as a kid...does that count for something?