The Original MiserAlba
Now we finally know where MiserAlba got her beautiful bitchface from. She got it from her moms! Yeah, I too thought this was Kathy Griffin in a remake of Shallow Hal, but it's just MiserAlba's mama je'e.
You know, I think I might have a bitch crush on Catherine Alba. I mean, she's a ginge, albeit a fake ass one, and she's mastered the total cuntface. I'm also getting a little bit of "Jeana from The Real Housewives of Orange County" flavor from her. And who doesn't love Jeana?
I hope Catherine crop dusted MiserAlba after she said this shit about her mom last year, "Everyone in my family is heavily overweight I wanted to be healthier, so I started cooking for myself when I was 12 years old."
Heavily overweight?! What an asshole! That's big and beautiful to her! I guess MiserAlba is a bigger bitch than her mom. Well, she was given the tools and she did it better.
Here's Big MiserAlba and Lil' MiserAlba doing stuff yesterday. And also Lil' MiserAlba with new hair today. It's nice to see that her new haircut didn't fuck with her precious bitchface.
everyone at the agencies in LA know alba is a stupid bitch. cant she even fake a smile? how miserable is she???
MK you are a brilliant fool...LOL@Kathy Griffin in a re-make of Shallow Hal. I am howling at you!! Mom's does have that "bitch face", though. Jess better keep working out if bigness run in the fams.
Geez bitch haven't you ever heard of bullemia? Step up into the new millenium. Stuff that finger down the throat and drop 40 lbs no problemo. After that you can have that neck lippoed and voila, you one hot skank!
Yo I cant stand MiserAlba...I used to work at some unnamed mag--she was on the cover of--and her and Cash have the personality of a sack of wet mice!!!!
Cheers!
LMMFAOOOO!!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Total Crop Dusting Face.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 3:30am.
She totally looks like the "woman" from Total Recall
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I SEE IT! OMG! YESS! ....Two weeks Twoweeks TWOWEEKSSSSSSSSSSS..
oh and P.S. I thought that pic up there was Travolta in Shampoo (is that the movie?)
I agree about Alba. What's the big deal? Cute girl but nothing outrageously gorgeous about her. And that goes for Longwhoria too. Cute girl but kinda mousey looking. Gorgeous? How about Roselyn Sanchez. She is a gorgeous gal. I guess it depends on who your agentpimp is prolly.
http://search.live.com/images/results.aspx?q=Roselyn+Sanchez&mkt=en-us&F...
i thought this pic was of winona fuckin judd! LOL i've never understood the big deal about alba...her body's ok i guess, but jesus what a fugly face!
"My man's place is in the kitchen!"
Her momma looks like she found the Girl Scout Cookies campaign in her town, every year.....
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by Diarrhea Angel on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 3:29am.
Ehh, she looks like the average single mom that reads Dlisted and kiss's the blogger's ass.
HAHAHAHAHA.... so true, so true. Except I hear a lot of them yacking about 'hubbies' so..
Submitted by NitWitty on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:37pm.
Submitted by carefreea on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 9:29pm.
My childhood was so bad that my ears are so damaged that I can only listen to Jessica Simpson :'(
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And suddenly, Mrs. Alba and DeeDee are not the craziest sex hookers in the looney bin.
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Damn straight. Do you realise how hard it is to get a Jessica Simpson CD in London? Bitches would cut you faster than Alba's mum at the supermarket queue, if you accidently bump her.
Illicit CD smuggling, this is why I love Ebay. Sigh.
Damn, I'd be miserabla too if I'd been on a diet since I was 12. The longest I've been on a diet is the same amount of time it takes me to walk from the couch to the fridge.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 3:30am.
She totally looks like the "woman" from Total Recall (Arnold Schwazenwhatsit) the one that had a malfunction and started ripping her face off 'three weeks three weeeeeeeks threee weeeeeeks" that one.
LMAO So true! She totally looks like her!
this thing is heinous. where is her neck?
but you are correct-- they have the same sour look on their face. apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
u can also see how fat jess will be. tick tock.
I'm going to be laughing my ass off when she looks like this.
She has an attitude that's just begging to make her fat one day...in this case, she'll be fat and broke because the only redeeming feature is that she appeals to guys.
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It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again.
I mean, FFS! Does my neck look thick in this?
She totally looks like the "woman" from Total Recall (Arnold Schwazenwhatsit) the one that had a malfunction and started ripping her face off 'three weeks three weeeeeeeks threee weeeeeeks" that one.
Ehh, she looks like the average single mom that reads Dlisted and kiss's the blogger's ass.
Your existence proves that God has a sense of humor.
Submitted by JesseJane on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 2:54am.
Agreed! she looks like young Joselito...
- here's the little magic:
http://www.newlog.com.ar/LPAL/joselito-triunfador-peru.jpg
Jessica's ass is hot if you prefer 9 year old boys from behind.
No comment on her mom- we all will be there some day.
Hope she is going to look like her mom in the future!
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Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:31pm.
BRITTNY, CHARLES MANSON FUCKING TALKS ABOUT WHATEVER THE FUCK HE GODDAMN WANTS TO TALK ABOUT. AS LONG AS YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING COMPUTER IN YOUR FUCKED UP BEDROOM, YOU'LL BE FUCKING ALRIGHT, OK?
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Dude, island girl, I understand the infectious-ness. I am now in love w/ Charles for this reason. Be still my heart!
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
Omg...Tigerlily...I am with u. I am so fucking goddamn in love w/ this gd Charles fucking Manson poster it aint even fucking funny. Same fucking boat tiger, same goddamn boat.
Fuckin goddamit. I love them. *bats eyelashes at Charles Manson*
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
That poor woman, not only might she be suffering from a thyroid condition, but she's also partially responsible for unleashing Miseralba upon this already cruel and hopeless world. Good for her that she eats healthy enough so that she makes sure she can still pose like a ho in every fucking men's magazine in existence for money, that's waaaayyyy less embarrassing than being seen next to your overweight mom.
Classy.
And no, I am not a defensive overweight housewife, but I am supremely hideous and smell like a urine-sopped alpaca breeding farm. And no, I am not envious of Miseralba. Poor bitch ain't got no hips, and calls herself curvy, she's married to an ugly motherfucker, has a HUGE-headed baby, a wonk eye, and only talks about herself all the fucking time. But bitch does know how to sell that ass, so wait maybe I am jealous!
'Cause if there's one thing that she don't like, it's getting gang-raped and her hair extensions swiped...in the ghetto.
they totally have the same lips, nose and feet and their height is similar too. I guess the thyroid gene skipped her.
Imma have to leave Jess's mama alone because she look like she might charge me!
"Ole"
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Submitted by MrPossumsMama on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 12:18am.
Vote for MK - he's coming in 2nd by only like 1000 votes:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
Polls close Feb 13
single-handedly making jessica alba non-latina since 1981.
Bitch looks thrilled as hell to be with Mom. Crossed arms, walking behind her a few steps. I'd say the bitch is embarassed to be anywhere near her. Sad when you're so shallow you won't own up to your Mum even if she is a fatty.
Can't believe it.
www.realitybedroom.com
Anyone know what kinda purse she's carrying in the pics with the yellow scarf?? I'm lovin' it!
If you want to see what a woman is going to look like when shes older look at her momma. This biatch is gonna be singing "I got it from my momma" in a couple of years.
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If you don't think J-Alba is hot, check out some of these pix. (Yeah, it's a slightly pervy site but that's what I found when I searched. *bookmarking*)
http://www.hotcelebrityasses.com/search/label/Jessica%20Alba
CAN I PLEASE HAVE SOME OF THOSE SHREADED BEEF BURRITOS SMOTHERED WITH GODDAMN JACK CHEESE FILLED WITH THOSE MOTHERFUCKING REFRIED BEANS. TOPPED WITH A SIDE OF MOTHERFUCKING CORN, AND CHIPS AND SALSA TO BOOT. FUCK. WHY DO PEOPLE GET FAT.
Vote for MK - he's coming in 2nd by only like 1000 votes:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-gossip-blog/
I heard that Jessica's Mom is a HUGE fan of Kathy Griffin. Ha Ha. *huge*
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.Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 11:35pm. Look at her, she's embarrassed to be seen with her MOM...That's when you know you're Hollywood scum...
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....you nailed here absolutely!...what a piece of shit she is for that!.......High Five! (I mean paws!)...
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....medical marijuana - is there really any other kind?...
Submitted by Stick Stickly on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 11:57pm.
That Jessica Alba is a ray of sunshine.
Except when she gets blocked by her mom, then she's an eclipse.
Submitted by James Haven on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 10:25pm.
Mrs. Alba is in deseperate need of a makeover and a hunky trainer named Claude.
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Well, she's half way there! Go MiserAlba the First!
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That Jessica Alba is a ray of sunshine.
Submitted by Pussy.Broth on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 11:19pm.
I cannot get over how fat Jessica Alba's mother is! She is such a nasty, disgusting pig. That slimy, sweaty butterball needs to spend a year or nine in the gym to work off a little of that massive lard stockpile she has in her face, neck, hips, thighs, and ass. Truly nasty. I bet she looks a lot like some of these mom types we have lurking around here on Dlisted, who get so irate about pretty young celebrities, hurling vile epithets at them as they shovel chocolate cake down their gullet with a garden trowel.
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Quit talkin' shit about me, pussybroth.
MiserAlba's miserable because she cain't eat no food!
...MiserAlba is one of those kinda cute for ten minutes girls....you know, the cheerleader types...they peak, and then tumble into mediocre-ness, ala Kathleen Turner or Lisa Marie Presley...she's no real beauty, and will probably end up looking alot like her mother, which is not all that bad if you like the chubby chola "I'm gonna shank you" look...
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....medical marijuana - is there really any other kind?...
Submitted by maDalice on Wed, 01/07/2009 - 11:26pm.
She is overweight, but her neck adds about 100 lbs. Otherwise, she's NOT that bad.
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Yes, she really kinda is...I didn't look at the pics at first, but I'd say, yes, she is obese. It's just we've gotten so used to it in the US we don't know it when we see it anymore...Sorry, I see it. She is obese, but her daughter has no business callin' her FAMILY out like that. FUCK HER. That narcissistic bitch only wanted to single herself out as the "hot one" among a bunch of fatties...Fuck her...I see through her...Look at her, she's embarrassed to be seen with her MOM...That's when you know you're Hollywood scum...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Her neck looks like an inner tube.
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"Now is not the time for my fuckery."
http://girlandherbooks.blogspot.com/
http://dumb-report.blogspot.com
She is overweight, but her neck adds about 100 lbs. Otherwise, she's NOT that bad.
I cannot get over how fat Jessica Alba's mother is! She is such a nasty, disgusting pig. That slimy, sweaty butterball needs to spend a year or nine in the gym to work off a little of that massive lard stockpile she has in her face, neck, hips, thighs, and ass. Truly nasty. I bet she looks a lot like some of these mom types we have lurking around here on Dlisted, who get so irate about pretty young celebrities, hurling vile epithets at them as they shovel chocolate cake down their gullet with a garden trowel.
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“I like it, ... but it's yellow, and I'm like, I didn't want yellow for my engagement ring.” ~Paris Hilton
Jessica Alba looks at mommy and sees the future!