These Two Have A New Baby
Jennifer Garner released a baby into this black-hearted world sometime this afternoon. Jen and Ben already have a toothy 3-year-old they call Violet.
Jennifer's spokesbitch told People, "Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck gave birth to a healthy baby girl." The bitch did not fess up a name.
I'm really hoping they name their girl something meaningful. I'm thinking JLo? Or maybe Fishsticks? Or maybe Band-Aid? Or SavaMarriage? And if they are going to keep with the flower tradition, they better pick a hot flower name like Baby's Breath, Goldenrod, Honeysuckle, Morning Glory or Petunia.
But knowing these two boring boiled rutabagas, they gave her a memaw name like Rose, Ethel, Bertha, Gertrude or Myrtle. Oh shit. I really hope they named her Ethel. Nobody names their baby Ethel anymore! Come to think of it, nothing is named Ethel anymore. The next time you bring a baby, dog, cat, plant, rodent, cockroach, fish, homeless person or hooker into your home, you have to name them Ethel. The name must be kept alive!
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Damn it. I hate when I can't say anything nasty. I actually like them. I hope they name the baby Ruby. It's a cool name. hahahaha
p.s - i agree with callan :)
I hope they named it Iris to go along with their spring-y flower-y theme
I dunno, I actually kind of like these two. Yes, she's more boring than oatmeal and yes, he is the douche that almost married J-Lo. But, I still kind of like them. Maybe it's because their kid ALWAYS has an ear-to-ear grin on her face. Clearly, they're doing something right.
Any celebrity that doesn't fuck up their kid and doesn't whore them out is okay by me.
LMFTO @ MK "Jen and Ben already have a toothy 3-year-old they call Violet."
Ain't that the toof. Swear they should have called that child Weed Whacker, not fucking Violet.
I was in ATL airport last year when this pristine couple started calling for their missing child "fleur, fleur, fleeuuur" - everyone looked around for a little flower angel...NOT the hippo in a tutu.
Submitted by NitWitty on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 10:26pm.
"She cain't talk, Clark. She wuz born without a tongue." (from NL's Vacation.)
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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK
I don't get Jenny Garn...I mean, really, Ben Afflec is a manwhore marinated in Everclear on a gambling mission and that's all he will be...Yeah, he can go to rehab and shit, but he's gonna just come out a more wily booze/gamblin'/hooker addict than before...DOESN'T SHE GET THAT SHIT????
Oh, and with all this new "open post" bullshit, I wanna ask
WHERE MY CHOLLY????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 10:33pm.
Um, I'm still on your good side, right?
*squints at SM's knitting needles*
And how come the spokesbitch sez they BOTH gave birth to the baby? Huh? How did Affleck pull that off??
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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 10:25pm.
For reals, put a sock on his head!!
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I would be willing to knit one ON his face using my special needles and poke both of his eyes every chance I get! Problem solved!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
"Submitted by gemibrat on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 9:48pm.
when are they gonna divorce?"
Probably next week.
Personally, I like Myrtle.
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"Now is not the time for my fuckery."
http://girlandherbooks.blogspot.com/
http://dumb-report.blogspot.com
I think Violet is about the cutest Hollyweird baby out there. I'm excited to see this one.
I mean, as excited as I get over seeing Hollyweird babies...
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The problem with leisure,
what to do
for pleasure?
I totally can't stand Jennifer Garner. I know it's weird, but I totally believe she's actually that obsessively square mom from Juno in real life.
I heard they named her Ruby. Reminds me of Cousin Eddy from Nat'l. Lampoon's Vacation movies (his daughter's name).
"Just emptyin' the shitter."
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"I'll get handcuffed for you and gladly spend a night or two in the clink." ~MK
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 9:53pm.
Could Ben get any fuglier? Apparently....yes.
For reals, put a sock on his head!!
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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK
Hekki ~ I don't find Jennifer Garner attractive. She reminds me of a gnome with those vulcan ears.
Kate Beckinsale & Charlize....now you're talkin'!!
This is not OT; just follow along...
One night Mr. Hekki and I were out having Indian food. These two guys get seated behind us and start talking. One guy is going on and on and ON about how hot the girl from "Alias" is and how she is so beautiful and sexy and her body is so great and how she's his ideal woman, she blows every other woman out of the water, ad nauseum.
So the next time I see "Alias" is on, I was baffled by what he was talking about. And then whatever, I start to get the idea that Jennifer is supposed to be some kind of hottie. I don't see it, but everyone has their own thing. She seems like a good mom anyhow.
My last foster dog was named Ethel.
The baby's name is Ruby.
I think Jenifer might want to name the girl, Desperateattempttosavemarriagebecausehedoesn'tlovemommyanymore Affleck.
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Hey - my Grandma's name was Ethel~~ !! And I look so much like her (they say) that everyone my Dad's age calls me Ethel!! hahaha
And whatever happened to Big Ethel?
James...LMFAO! You need to write your memoirs. Can I have an autographed first edition?
On Topic: name suggestions for them:
Dolores
Myrtle
Or if they stick with flower/plant names, how about:
Dandelion
Cactus
Hostas
She thought she had chin zits, but they were really genital warts.
Dollar Store Diva
ben is a mega douche
jen is pitiful
ethel is too hot a name for those two mayo on white bread sandwiches
AHEM! NOW HEAR THIS! LCT thought she was going to be funny and made up a new name in the forum! She had no idea the name she picked means "vagina" in Italian slang!
I am not kidding! Pass it on!
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The only time I open my mouth is to change feet.
I just remember Big Ethel from the Archie Comics.
You never know your kids are going to turn out.
http://bp3.blogger.com/_qFgmPelbHLU/SFC8w8eiqMI/AAAAAAAABCQ/aQvljjeqAWo/...
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James Haven = hilarious!
This story = zzzzzzzzz....
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
We're on "Team Against Media-Whoring Husband-Stealing Baby Collecting Tatted-up Freakshows." - Stoney, 12/2008
Ethel? How ironic. I'm watching I Love Lucy as I type this!
"Suicide hotline, please hold"
"But knowing these two boring boiled rutabagas, they gave her a memaw name like Rose, Ethel, Bertha, Gertrude or Myrtle."
Hey, Rose is my name, jackass! LOL!
&&&
"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
My family maid was named Ethel. It's a good sturdy name.
Brad told James Haven that Ben is a big bore. They had a "couples" night and invited Brad and Angie. Brad thought when Ben said "a night of fun and games" that it would involve whipped cream, whips and a dominatrix Mistress named Monique.
Instead it was Scrabble, hot chocolate (no marshmellows) and Ben's mother making Chocolate chip cookies. Brad said he felt awkward when Jen took his coat and all he was wearing was backless chaps and a bowtie.
It took Ben 45 minutes to revive his mother.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Ethel Gertrude Matilda Opal Mildred Hazel Affleck!
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
We're on "Team Against Media-Whoring Husband-Stealing Baby Collecting Tatted-up Freakshows." - Stoney, 12/2008
having a baby to save a relationship is the dumbest thing ever.
those are my parting words....see you all in a couple of hours...
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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
i have a cat named ethel. may the name live on forever.
man she is soo ugly to me. She must be one of those ones who look wonderful in person but horrible on camera...
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He went back to Florida for 2 weeks....*whimper* no dick for me for awhile...
Submitted by parissucksliterally: "total Band-Aid baby. Jen, he's going to leave you, no matter what."
Amen.
Maybe she's never had the humbling experience of learning that you can't change a man. If she had, she might not have tried to change the biggest high-roller-gambling, hard-drinking, stripper-lovin', skank-ho dating guy I can think of.
Although some women never learn.
Wait, where are Jenifers bottom teefs?
AFFlack looks like a dirty Q-tip.
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Why she dumped Michael Vartan for this tool I will never know
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Spaghetti Cat with running mate Brocolli Kitten for Hot Sluts of the Year 2008!
Could Ben get any fuglier? Apparently....yes.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
How about Hail Mary?
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Wow, this is graphic.
How about Hycinth?
Followed by Rose and then Daisy.
All sluts from the brilliant Britcom "Keeping Up Appearances."
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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zzzzzzzzzzzzz
talk about boring couple news!
well hes sort of OK but I cant stand her-she looks like a total cow.
tell you what though-their kid may not be the cutest but it sure is the happiest brat around-always smiling!!
Actually-'Brat' is a great name for the new arrival-I am a genius!
total Band-Aid baby.
Jen, he's going to leave you, no matter what.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
when are they gonna divorce?
ø¤°º¤ aka Geminat ø¤ºø.
http://geminat.com
They can't name her Goldenrod, that's Jen's pet name for Ben...
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the end...
Ethel RULES! Why the hell not?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson