Sam Micelli Is Engaged!
Celebwhore relationships are like ass pimples. When you pop one, another one grows in its place shortly after. Yesterday, two Hollyweird couples went bust, and today another announced they are gettin' married!
Alyssa Milano's spokeswhore told People that she's engaged to some Shrek-beast-type-man who goes by the name of David Bugliari. I shouldn't say that. I'm sure he's a wonderful person. And by "wonderful person" I mean he probably has a big peen. Although, it kind of looks like he has a hairy dick trunk. That's what my peendar tells me anyway.
Dave is an agent at CAA. They've been dating for about a year. If they go through with this shit, it will be Alyssa's second marriage.
Alyssa is only 36 (that still makes me feel old) so she still has time for her third, fourth and fifth marriage. And she's also smart in the brains for marrying an agent. If you're a has-been, you should either marry an agent, marry an Arab billionaire, leak a sex tape or humiliate yourself in a reality show. The first two are definitely your classiest options.
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Totally agree TheBick, & most of MK's words are in my vocabulary now. Luckily not many of my friends are on here (they claim they have a life), so they think I made the words up
"Now she's a pretty hot looking girl. Why couldn't she find herself a hot piece?"
Probably because those hot pieces turn out to be total douches? No, really.
I'm quite surprised about this. I love Alyssa and I have to find it out on DListed and MK to know that she's engaged?! What kind of fuckery is this.
But meh the guy. He must really have a big peen. All Hail MK!
She's so pretty. Actually mean it! Not being sarcastic for once!
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
Good God, Michael K. You crack me the fuck up. All these fantastic words that you've made up...they get me every time. My new favorite: peendar. My all-time favorite: fuckery.
For some reason, every time I read one of your posts that says "fuckery" I just absolutely lose it.
You're fucking hilarious. Keep at it, brotha.
I love how these dumb whores act like they are not doing community service for some crime that they've taken a plea deal for...Please, look at this whore's attitude...If this were real volunteer work, something this whore knows nothing about, she'd be smiling for the camera...good P.R....Yeah, this is some court ordered shit right up in here and nobody can tell me otherwise...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I asked my ex bf once why people thought alyssa milano was so hot, he said because back in the 80s there weren't as hot of women as there are today on tv . Anyway, that was his theory on why people love her, and that since they had a crush as a kid they still love her now. :shrug:
If she has had botox, it's either done very well or it is not really needed and she only gets a little bit. Because I can't see it. She looks pretty natural to me . I think she mostly has good genes and maybe, actually takes care of herself. maybe she stayed away from smoking and drugs and the sun. Thinking of cameron diaz and jennifer aniston, who I think are both pretty, are still aging way more than she is.
Well, I'm 29 so I guess I was off when I think about it. hah She was kinda old in the show she was on. Oh well. lol Old as in a teenager and I was a kid.
Submitted by sushi on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 11:13pm.
No, she's done NHL too. I think the only sport she hasn't done is ice dancing for obvious reasons.
You and Cunty are right. I mean, Brad Penny? I like her line of sportswear for ladees. I don't wear it; it just looks good.
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Wow, this is graphic.
I didn't know she was 36. I don't keep up with her, I looked at her and thought no older than 32. And I guessed that age because of her being in an 80s show mostly. But, I never saw the big deal about her. She's pretty but in a next door girl kinda way, to me anyway.
The Los Angeles Mission ... another term for press fuckery.
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"Now is not the time for my fuckery."
http://girlandherbooks.blogspot.com/
http://dumb-report.blogspot.com
Oh, like this isn't going to crash and burn.
♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀♀
Chicago area 5K race 2009: http://rallyforautism.com/
No, she's done NHL too. I think the only sport she hasn't done is ice dancing for obvious reasons.
I thought she only fucked MLB players?
Vaseline gloves.
ø¤°º¤ aka Geminat ø¤ºø.
http://geminat.com
I suppose a pix doesn't prove much, but she looks like hiiiiiiiiiiiigh maintenance to me.
What in the name of Zahara is going on? James Haven has asked Alyssa several times for a date only to be smacked down with a "Beat it Freak!"
Now she's marrying Hamburger boy? He doesn't have the cheekbones of James Haven or his glowing complexion. That guy looks constipated!
If it weren't for bad luck. James Haven would have no luck at all!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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there goes every guys wet dream off the market
xoxox
The war isn't working.
first off let me say 36 isnt that old....lots of sites go on about how young she looks for her age, but i am soooo not buying it...she totally looks 36 & that's with all the botox & plastic surgery she looks to have had...but i really dont care either way.
Translation: I've done all of the major leagues and the draft isn't til summer, so I have to get something in my snatch who has money to hold me over.
I bet she doesn't make it to the alter...she's a true slut at heart...
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:27pm.
Pudge=Shrek-beast-type-man
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LOL!!!
My man's also a pudge. And 'm always mighty pleased when he uses his knife instead of his index finger to put food on his fork...can you relate Mrs Kravits? Kindly advise.
I want to live only till I die, no more and no less - Eddie Izzard
BobsBB's picture
Submitted by BobsBB on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 6:44pm.
Yup. Dude's packing a coke can down there. It's the only explanation. Or maybe he's the nicest, sweetest guy in the world and he treats her really well. I hear that still occasionally works these days, too.
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Dear Bob.
Being the nicest, sweetest guy in the world does in fact work. My guy's like that, and I wouldn't trade him in for anything: not for money (had that), not for a bigger d*ck (had that), not for fame (had that too)...goodguys are worth waiting for. Amen.
I want to live only till I die, no more and no less - Eddie Izzard
Dude looks like the ex-lax just hit his lower intestine and he's trying to hold out until the photogs are done... :0
PS. She's the kid from Commando? One of my favorite cheesy action movies--my favorite line from it which occurs after ahnold holds a bad guy over a cliff and drops him to his death:
Female companion waiting in car, concerned: "What happened to him?"
Ahnold: "I let him go."
Female(relieved) "Oh, good"
Hey, let's get some screenwriting software on this blog...
I would definitely fellate him.
Yup. Dude's packing a coke can down there. It's the only explanation. Or maybe he's the nicest, sweetest guy in the world and he treats her really well. I hear that still occasionally works these days, too.
Meh, it would have been better if he was a CIA agent.
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... Well I'd like to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch! - Stewie.
She still looks pretty good for her age.
Now she's a pretty hot looking girl. Why couldn't she find herself a hot piece?
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Bye! Good
He looks like he raided Jett Travolta's wardrobe. Sorry.
She's definately 36. I was a youngin watching holdmeclosertonydanza show & I'm actually suprised she's that old, I thought she was only a year or so older than me.
Slap me if someone has already said this, but he looks like a Madden to me. He is even making a Madden douche face in that pic.
"Submitted by SpiceDong on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:46pm.
she is only 36yo??? yeah right..."
I don't doubt she's 36. She was clearly a kid in Commando (with Awwnold), and that was 1985. If she looked 12 at that point, it would make sense that she's 35ish now. I think she looks great.
She looks botoxed to death.
To Jim-
It's her little dick licking brother's birthday today. And you know he only licks little dicks because...?
I didn't say you were stupid, I said that you were acting stupid. But since you didn't understand that NOW I'm saying you are stupid.
EVEN THE BUMS AT THE 'MISSION' LOOK AT HIS NAME TAG AND SAY "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS FAT ASS"!!
Submitted by Manbearpig: "Back when the Army used to wear that style of hat with the dress style uniforms(they've since moved on to the ubercool berets), they were affectionately known as CUNT CAPS."
LOL!!!
I think she's adorable.
I hope The Bug is wearing gloves instead of having polypropylene hands.
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Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.--MK
I would go gayelle for a young KD Lang
she is only 36yo??? yeah right...
I love how these celeb whores who grew up around the same time I did and in most cases were older than I was at the time, all of a sudden are reported as younger these days. I guess botox and surgeries are not enough, they have to go out and lie about their age too. And whatever bios you pull up have probably been tampered with the same way you could do that with a birth certificate if you wanted too. Just saying.
Man, that dude is a dork.
CAA- CURRENT ASSHOLE ANNIHILATOR
Goodness I never realised she was that popular! She's just kind of regular pretty for me. Everything's symmetrical and in its right place but there's nothing out of the ordinary about her that makes me go wow. I like someone with a bit more allure I guess, more of a phwoar factor if you get my drift!
>>If you're a has-been, you should either marry an agent, marry an Arab billionaire, leak a sex tape or humiliate yourself in a reality show. The first two are definitely your classiest options.
IT;s True!!! liz hurley, salma whatshertits, manlady who fucked flava flav, kardASSian, wonky mcV, the list goes on and on.
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backseat.tumblr.com
"Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 5:10pm.
I would totall go gayelle for Alyssa."
Ditto, although for some reason I also have this odd obsession with Amanda Peet. *hangs head in shame* I'm sure hubby would like, though.
***...watch your back, it's your wife!***
Milano Bugliari.
Good names for a sportscars.
CAA = Creative Artists Agency. One of the biggest talent agencies. Like the William Morris Agency.
Is it just me, or do they look alike?
Even though her face is kind-of plain, I've always thought she had great bone structure.
Anyway, this story is boring.
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How can you thank God for a song that the Devil helped you write?
Pudge=Shrek-beast-type-man
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Eli's a comin' and the cards say a broken heart