There's A Frozen Peen In The Sky!
Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.
This story about a bitch caught with his ski pants down comes to us from Vail, Colorado. The dude froze his ass off this past Friday when he was riding on a chairlift at a resort with his kid. The Smoking Gun says the lift's seat wasn't lowered, so the skier fell through a gap in the chair. Luckily for the dude, his ski got caught in the lift, saving him from falling into the snow. Actually, maybe it would have been less embarrassing for him if he fell and broke his arm or some shit, because while his body was stuck, his pants and chonies came down. And the world laughed while his peen tried to hold back the tears. It knew that if it cried, its mouth would freeze shut.
The accidental ski flasher hung (trust me, there's no pun there) there for 15-minutes while waiting for help. Workers finally reversed the lift and got him out of the seat. It took 15-minutes because they were too busy cleaning the piss off their pants from laughing so hard.
Getting a case of frostbitten dick, nuts and nalgas might be worth it, because you know this bitch is going to sue the pants (GONG!) off of the bitch responsible for this
TSG has one more picture taken by a witness. I would so be that bitch who took pictures while that sad man dangled pantyless from the sky. Say "icicle dick!"
Thanks Mary
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Kiwikim just bummed me out.
Drunk band stories!!
I was 17 (shhhh don't tell anyone) and the crowd that I was with convinced the sound guy that it was my 21st birthday so he started buying me shots of tekillya (after 5 Long Islands). Staring at shot #3, someone whispered that if I didn't want it, I should dump it...so I did...right in the sound guys lap.
I then took out three men running for the door, where I tripped (on a fallen man), fell flat on my face and ralphed EVERYWHERE!!
PART II to follow.
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... so I threw my breasts out of the window of my Lamborghini!
Miss Priss, I need a warning label tattooed on me: "DO NOT FEED TEQUILA SHOTS TO THIS PERSON UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES". I get beyond crazy and start undressing. I think I did around 11 shots that night.
Aphid LMAO!!!!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Okay drunk stories.
I got so drunk on my birthday a few years ago we closed down the bar we were at and were hanging out outside when the band came out hauling their equipment. I lost my shoes and got the drummer to lend me his wingtip oxfords to wear. Then I hijacked the bass player's amp (which was on a dolly) and started riding it like a surfboard. My friends said I went missing and they found me next door at a carwash, sitting on the seat for shining shoes, yelling profanities at cars whizzing by. Then I barfed. I'm very glad no cops were around that night.
As embarrassing as that had to be, it must feel good knowing that you're gonna get a free vacation every year at this resort.
I started laughing so hard...I love it when this kinda shit happens. It makes me want to show the world! Or, maybe I'll just put it on facebook!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Submitted by KD on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:47pm.
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One of my friends in high school had it leak onto her ivory colored graduation gown. She just wadded it up in a ball and shoved it at the guy who was collecting them after the ceremony.
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WTF? Something dodgy is going on here. You know how much crap you wear skiing-layers and layers and most of them are tight. You don't loose your underwear that easy. I think someone was trying to get a little action on the lift.
I hope that bitches have learned now that it's actually NOT cool to leave the safety rail up. My dad's got two friends who have had these sorts of incidents. One was a ski instructor who had a heart attack, slid off the seat and fell to his death because the rail wasn't up. He probably would have survived the attack as it was mild. The other friend just slid off an icy seat and is in a wheel chair now. That apparently still isn't enough to teach people, but maybe having yourself exposed like this will be enough to humiliate people.
my ex had a no-butt like that. he also got so drunk he puked on my down comfortor, and the side of my bed once. he sharted in front of me when he was really really sick one day too.
thats pretty much when i began treating him like a roommate instead of a boyfriend because i suck.
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backseat.tumblr.com
ahahahahahahahahahah!
thank you, I needed that...
________________I <3 STEWIE!____________________
You have all entirely made my day. The comments have me cracking up more than the post!
OMG - my stomach hurts!
In college some girlfriends of mine and I were piled in the car after a long night of drinking and we decided to all flash the next car that drove up beside us. So I did. But I was THE ONLY ONE. Those bitches!
O! And, of course, (speaking of drunk) waking up with my panties in my pocket. But I talked about that already:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Straight up - they pulled down my ultra baggy pants on the stairs during rotation. UGH!
But I feel for that kid - he must have been terrified! 15 minutes like that!? :(
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
A couple years ago I got ill, really ill, violently ill, barfing, pissing out my ass, that kind of ill.
Well. As I was barfing my brains out I shat myself.
I went into the shower fully dressed to wash it all out before I put my clothes in the washer.
I didn't even tell my husband.
ah, I feel bad for people who have never been drunk. They don't have any good stories like ours!
I haven't even begun to share....heehee
ok, I gotta go, you all later!
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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
LOL....Funny, very funny!!! He looks stupid hanging there! But you know what? Humiliation really happens the least you expect it to happen. I just hoped that he would not come back to that place anymore and his son won't get any prank jokes or get bullied.
arizona dentists
hahahah
well, let's keep going!
I went to a party in college, that Jay-Z song was very popular then, "Give it to me" and there's a part where he says "it's about to go down" me dancing I went "down" like Jay-Z sez and my pants split down my crack. That was really emabarrassing the next day. I was drunk at the party so I kinda shrug it off, and was mortified until I convinced my date to leave the party like right now!! lol(he was driving)
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
I was having the worse day till I saw dudes naked ass. Why can't naked men fall from the sky when I'm around. I'd fuck him just because he must suck worse than I. I didn't think that was possible. He soooooooo made my day.
I've been laughing so hard at the stories here, that one of the dogs is now hiding under the bed.
Thanks to everyone for sharing.
A barf story from high school:
I had been to a party with my BF and his buddy Bob. That was the first time , (and the last), that I drank Ouzo shots.
We leave the party, I'm shotgun and Bob's behind me. I'm feeling really sick, so I ask the BF to pull over so I can barf. And I can't. So we drive some more and I plead to pull over again and the BF tells me to hang my head out the window. I do and barf my guts out.
The next day, the BF says I have to clean the car. I look in the back seat, and there's a perfect silouette of Bob with puke all around it!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
hahahahaha this is the best thread in a long ass time
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Christmas is over :(
Don't you just love public humiliation when it doesn't happen to you? It's truly what makes the world go round.
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Oh no. no. no. I always look away and do everything I can to make it better. Because there's nothing worse than humiliation. I feel so sorry for that guy.
the peen in the sky keeps on turning!
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http://palestinian.ning.com/forum/topics/the-other-side-of-the-story
Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:39pm.
when I was eight months pregnant with my daughter, me and the hub were going at it, me on top and when I came, I peed all over him
he said, you don't know if you're coming or going .
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HE DID?!?!?! BADUM BUM CHING! Hahahahahahhahaaa!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:45pm.
KD - if it is "time" like I'm going to get my period any "minute" and I have sexytimes with the hub...the peen is like a plunger unglogging the toilet.
Opens the flood gates.
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OMFG you are hysterical
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
When I was 71/2 - 8 months pregnant with bebe #2, we were grocery shopping. I had a sneeze attack. Pissed myself.
Took the hubs sweatshirt, tied it around my waist and waited for him in the truck.
Mortified.
omg you guys, these stories are great!!
Definately my most embarassing moment was when I went to an awards show at the Apollo and drunkenly fell in the aisle, splitting my skirt up to mid-ass crack. During the show. When house lights were on. And I was too drunk to know it. Awesome.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
ME- that makes sense but all these stories of getting it on your skirt and chairs and stuff. I've never done that. I think I've only woken up with it on my sheets once.
PSL- Naw. Fully clothed. Thank God.
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EWWWWW..THAT IS JUST SOO DISGUSTING..WHY IS HIS BUTT OUT..AND ON TOP OF THAT..I KNOW HE'S COLD.
www.NycCelebs.com
www.IGotUggs.com
Wow, these are some great frikkin' stories!
I've probably done a lot of things I would have been embarrassed about, had I remembered them!
It was about 4 years ago, and the hub and I had been visiting the MIL in Orlando, then took off for a couple of days in Cocoa Beach. Like almost every time we go to Florida, there was severe weather-thunderstorms and even a tornado touched down not far from us.
Anyway, we settled into our hotel that has a 3 hour happy hour. We had many drinks, and when it was over, decided to go to the Publix across the street to get supplies for our stay.
We came out, and the parking lot was wet from the storms. I jump up on the cart to "ride" it to the car. Well, the thing goes out from under me, and I go down hard, with the handle of the cart crushing my fingers.
I spent the rest of the stay with my right hand bandaged, and my knees torn up. My right FU finger is still flattened and huge!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Okay, I'll tell one more since this is anonymous. One time I was at this party and got (not too) drunk and had nookie with the host of the party in the living room because people were fucking in his bed. I thought everyone was passed out, but not everyone was, so um, a few people saw us doing it. Doggy style. My BFF told me that she and everyone was watching us!
It was just a slutty drunk one night stand, but he followed me around all the next day, and wanted me to be his girlfriend. As if! AH HA HA HAHA!
See? This is why I'm glad there were no cameraphones or internet back in the day!
ISMU, is that all you were wearing?
Aniston should have done that for the cover of GQ.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
KD - if it is "time" like I'm going to get my period any "minute" and I have sexytimes with the hub...the peen is like a plunger unglogging the toilet.
Opens the flood gates.
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:36pm.
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We both totally ignored it. Like all good dates end with someone having to spot-clean their linens.
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Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:36pm.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:29pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:26pm.
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Nice! I period-ed all over my husband's bed the first time we did naughties. And I woke up in the morning to him in the bathroom with his laundry soap, trying to scrub it out by hand. Totally hot.
Aw man...What did he say? That is hilarious I am so scared of doing that lol
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Hm, maybe I'm just weird, but you guys make it sound like having your period is like opening a floodgate or something. Either I'm good at catching it before it's too late, or mine just isn't as excited to make it's entrance into our world...
Hmmm, I have done worse. But, since I have my pic up I am not saying too much. LOL. I am just not as ballsy as MK.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
when I was eight months pregnant with my daughter, me and the hub were going at it, me on top and when I came, I peed all over him
he said, you don't know if you're coming or going .
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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.
have any of you guys done a Dr. Pepper shot? if you have not, it's Amaretto in a shot glass, lit up. Then you dunk it in a few ounces of beer(to put the flames out...) and chug it.
Well, I had already done 3 of those, on my 4th one, I went to dunk my shot glass, only my finger cought on fire, I did not realize this, I chugged my Dr. Pepper, then look up, everyone's pointing at me freaking out and shit. My finger was up in flames!! LMAO, I put it out just in time before serious injuries. Luckily. People were calling me fyah finger. stupid, but embarrassing
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
Vomit story! When I was younger, I was madly in love with this guy. It made me so nervous to be near him, I would drink to calm down/brave up. I was also too nervous to eat when I knew I was seeing him. One night we went to this club and I drank an entire plastic cup of vodka straight up(that was "my drink") and we were sitting at this table with one of his friends. I barfed in my lap. It wasn't too gross because it was basically just vodka and water, since that was all I could swallow that day. It looked like I peed my pants.
There was also the time I stepped in dogshit right before I got into his car (before the NYC curb-your-dog laws got strict) and the smell filled the car before he said something. It was fresh poo and ruined the floormat and my sneaker. He was all "Maybe you should check your shoes. I think you may have stepped in something..."
Anyvomit, a few mutual friends have him on their FaceBooks, and think we should be friends, but I just can't. I'm too embarassed. He probably remembers me as some crazy drunk nympho.
Nothing beats getting some good oral, about ready to climax and...OOPS! You fart in his face.
Mood killer.
Submitted by KD on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:35pm.
Wow, ISMU has a lot of embarrassing stories.
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God, you have no idea. There is also an awesome picture of me floating around where I'm totally plastered and am carrying a teddy bear, wearing a necktie made of toilet paper and carrying a fly swatter. No idea.
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2Drink, he was soooo embarrassed. I told him he'd better be nice to me or i'd tell everyone...lol
this is on TMZ too...this poor guy must be so humiliated.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
I pissed my pants in Jr high from laughing so hard.
My husband was pulled over for speeding because he had to poo and shit his pants in front of the cop hahahaha
We're a classy couple.
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Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:29pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 12:26pm.
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Nice! I period-ed all over my husband's bed the first time we did naughties. And I woke up in the morning to him in the bathroom with his laundry soap, trying to scrub it out by hand. Totally hot.
Aw man...What did he say? That is hilarious I am so scared of doing that lol
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Christmas is over :(
Wow, ISMU has a lot of embarrassing stories.
You should have told your now husband that that is what happens when you get your cherry popped. But then, maybe he knew you better than that!
Uvula
LMAO!!
Im seriously LOLing in here you guys are funney!!!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
PSL - same here. I CAUGHT hum doing it and kicked him out. Apparently, this was a problem...as in not a one time thing.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656