Two Break-Ups You Probably Don't Care About
Just pretend to care, okay! Hearts have been broken! You skanks go and comfort JLove's "size 2" ass and I'll try to cheer up Patricia Arquette's bodacious breasteses. I'll spoon feed them Neapolitan ice cream while rolling my eyes at their weepiness.
We've all been there! It's the fucking worst when your friend is bawling and saying they are going to kill themselves because some dumb ho dumped them. You sit there, holding their sweaty hand, trying to show in your face that you care. You're thinking to yourself, "I need to get this bitch a Casual Encounters ad on Craigslist ad so that they can fuck the pain away and I can go watch Real Housewives!" Although, I do love using lines like "He's not worth your tears" or "His loss! I sucked his dick in the bathroom anyway." Just say the last line if they really won't shut the fuck up.
Anyway, JLove and Patricia Arquette's friends may be giving the fake "I care" face, because both of their relationships went bust.
People says that JLove and her creepy fiance canceled their engagement around the holidays. They were engaged for 1 year and dated for 2. A source said, "They're both really sad about this. Even their friends are surprised; they seemed really happy. Everyone just wants the best for both of them."
He probably got sick of her claiming she's a size 2 when he called her fat. The nerve of some people. And she probably got sick of him giving sex eyes to small animals. Look at the dude! You know he's into some sick shit!
I'm sure we'll see JLove's ass on the cover of some magazine with the headline: "I'm single and loving it! And I'm still a size 2!"
Now on to Patricia Arquette. UsWeekly says she filed for divorce today from her husband of 2 long years Thomas Jane. Of course, she blamed "irreconcilable differences" on the reason why her marriage tanked. Is there ever any other reason? The two have a 5-year-old daughter named Harlow together.
I hope both of these bitches broke it off AFTER the holidays. That shit is the way to go. If you need to dump someone, break it off with their asses after the season of giving so that you can still collect your presents! Don't ever do it before. If you think you're going to get dumped, stall that shit until your gift is underneath that tree! And if they didn't give you shit because they knew they were going to end it with you, make them get you one! They have to, because technically you were still together. Sue their asses if they refuse! Judge Judy will definitely side with you.
ShareThis
Wasn't she with John Mayer?
Oh, and I can't get over P.A.'s GINORMOUS CHICHIS...You don't divorce CHICHIS like that, you just don't...She must be divorcing him, but he's tryna hang onto her GINROMOUS CHICHIS...He wants custody of some of the GINORMITY of those CHICHIS...You know he does...Look at him in the pic...He's totally like "Yeah, I get to go home and titty fuck that rack...You?" Yeah, now, not so much...He's lost bragging rights to those CHICHIS...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 10:00pm.
out with old dick...in with new dick...that's the way to start the new year...
_____________________________________________
certified in knocking dicks outta mouths...
***********************************************
This all works for me...excluding knockin dicks outta moufs...I mean, how else is a girl gonna make a living????
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Hahahaha, Balenciaga!! What's next, a parenting book? :)
Happy New Year, hor!
Apparently I don't have any unresolved breast-feeding issues from infancy, as I will take the pretty face on the left over the udders on the right.
I read it in the Enquirer. ** hang head and ducks** I was waiting at the pharmy and read it while waiting, and the funny part was the comment that "Britney has become a pro at extensions because of her bad experience with her hair incident, so she feels that she is a good person to know that looks good and has had many pros helping her with advice, such as Kim Vo, ect."
She feels that "she is such a good business person and with her experience with extensions she could do well."
BWAHAHAHA!
***I'm a Free Bird, honey!"***
NeNe~
I don't care. Except that it's SO weird they both were doing "I see dead people" shows. JLove's being an incredibly sappy knock off that focuses on her breasts mostly...
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
out with old dick...in with new dick...that's the way to start the new year...
_____________________________________________
certified in knocking dicks outta mouths...
oh dear, what next Kim Z coming out with a line of wigs?
sheesh
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
hey if Paris can sell crappy extensions, why not Britney?
the dirt factor? dirty people need extensions too Balenciaga!
***********************************************
Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
Submitted by Balenciaga Bitch on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 9:50pm.
Sorry to be off topic, but THIS deserves a break in the threads. I was reading a rag mag today at the doc office and read where "SHITNEY IS COMING OUT WITH HER OWN LINE OF HAIR EXTENSIONS!!" Swear to God. Oh hell, no....
**********************************************
Has the EPA been informed?
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
TL, where can you be a free bitch if not here?
heehee
seriously, cankles are so gross.
***********************************************
Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
Sorry to be off topic, but THIS deserves a break in the threads. I was reading a rag mag today at the doc office and read where "SHITNEY IS COMING OUT WITH HER OWN LINE OF HAIR EXTENSIONS!!" Swear to God. Oh hell, no....
***I'm a Free Bird, honey!"***
NeNe~
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 9:27pm.
tigerlily, nothing can make up for cankles, IMO.
Nothing. They are a total horror.
****************************************
Ok, thank you...It's nice to feel freely bitchy again...
*ahem*....
I feel bitchy
Oh so bitchy
I feel bitchy and witty and gay
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me today
I feel harming
Oh so harming
It's alarming how harming I feel
And so bitchy
That I hardly can believe I'm real
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I love the Arqutee family! Esp Rosanna, but I'll do with Patricia. I hope her dude didn't get the big head just because of that one show he's supposed to be on, something about a big penis. SMH. I like Jennifer Love too. I'm gonna put on my vinyl pink platforms and pour out a little liqour and not give a fuck about men for toinght, with respect.
--------------------------------------------
The last guy that told me to have patience, I burned him down and bagged his ashes.
TJ was great in 61!
he was also in "Boogie Nights"....and so much more...
***********************************************
Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
These relationships were doomed from the start.
A fake size 2 ghost whisperer and a child toucher are a bad combination. The punisher and the big tittayed medium are no better either....
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 9:35pm.
Whoa! Patty's gone & bought herself some honeydew size chesticles.
**********************************************
Nope, they run in the family (she just gets black eyes from it).
I'm pretty sure Alexis Arquette paid for it's tits though.
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by TITS on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 9:34pm.
Is that the arquette that's a transexual?
They both look like transaliens to me, meaning TJ and PA.
(Alexis still looks hot.)
Jane was hot in "Deep Blue Sea" back when he had decent hair.
This business is just unacceptable...all the way around. If you look that bad just stay home people.
................................................
Living takes courage. So what if we look a hot mess sometimes? (original putas)
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Mon, 01/05/2009 - 9:37pm.
Thomas Jane is one sexy beast. See "61*" if you don't agree. MEOW!
------------------------------------
Yes! And Barry Pepper ain't too shabby either. I do a Pepper/Jane sandwich anyday!
***************************************************************************
Bye! Good
"And she probably got sick of him giving sex eyes to small animals. Look at the dude! You know he's into some sick shit!"
The best laugh of my day!
***************************************************************************
Bye! Good
Thomas Jane is one sexy beast. See "61*" if you don't agree. MEOW!
--------------------------------------
"Her voice sounds like a goat in heat..." - Balenciaga Bitch on Sarah Palin (10/6/08).
Oh hell yeah, I care! THomas Jane is fuckin hot as hell!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
... so I threw my breasts out of the window of my Lamborghini!
It's weird...I kind of like J-Lo-Hew. She seems a little airhead-ish, but likable.
Also odd is that Medium is one of my absolute favourite television shows, and I've been watching Ghost Whisperer trying to fill the void that the loss of Medium has left in my bored little heart. Strange they both announce their break-ups today, no?
Also... "His loss! I sucked his dick in the bathroom anyway" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! Michael K, I love you. teehee
How Patricia got Thomas Jane to fuck her is beyond me.. He should not lay anywhere near her furball.. JUST MINE...
I was in love the first time I saw him..
Rent "THURSDAY" with Jane, Aaron Eckhart and Paulina Porizkova! HOT!!
The first and largest dating site for Cougars and Young Men ... www.SugarMommyMatch.com ... where cougars and young men seeking love! That's cool!
Whoa! Patty's gone & bought herself some honeydew size chesticles.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Patty's ex- looks like he's wearing a little furry mink hat.
Is that the arquette that's a transexual?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Due to these four hideous hair-don't's, I am changing my sig.
Can't decide which is worse--Thomas Jane's or The Perv's??
................................................
Living takes courage. So what if we look a hot mess sometimes? (original putas)
California is a no-fault state, so when 2 sluts divorce, CA doesn't want to hear their bitching. In CA, you can only cite 1 of 2 things as the reason you want to get rid of their stank ass: irreconcilable differences, or that he/she has incurable mental illness.
As someone said earlier, Thomas Elliott changed his name to Jane, then had the temerity to name his daughter Harlow Olivia Calliope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, this is graphic.
You know the hottest free dating site .... www.Sugarmommymatch.com ... search your friends and recapture some of your youth and try striking up a relationship, whether romantic or flirtation,just friendship and fun, with some funny ones!
today MUST be Chichi Day
***********************************************
"Hasta la bye bye!"
Where's my SamRo & LiLo breakup post, MK? I've been waiting for something sassy from you for HOURS now!
SamRo will, indeed, be a saaaaad little lesbian today.
__________________________________________________
"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
tigerlily, nothing can make up for cankles, IMO.
Nothing. They are a total horror.
***********************************************
Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
Wait, this isnt about J Lo. I thought it was. I think I thought that cause I heard J Lo has the size on her jeans changed. But now I know, I remember this Jennifer saying she was a 2. Oh and I was expecting J Lo cause I think she broke up with Marc.
i luv bobs on slim women with small boobies
Holy chichi's Batman! I didn't know Patricia Arquette was so STACKED! It almost makes up for her cankles...alomst....(What? I had to say something bitchy, I've been to nice lately, and nice upsets my tiger tummy...)
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I care about Thomas Jane, because he's a hot piece.
Couldn't care less about JLove.
The only surprise about Sam & LiLo's breakup is that it took so long (in case you hadn't heard yet.) __________________________________________________
"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
Love is kind of like Drew Barrymore. Is she a slut or not? She always seems to have a boyfriend or is engaged to one. Not technically a slut, but I'll still call her one!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Damn! Nice hooker shoes, baby. Can you dance in those things?
Daddy Spears
The header says it all. Word on the street is that there's some paint drying three doors down.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Even though Thomas Jane now needs the the kind of comfort only I can give him, he'll probably just marry Alexis Arquette out of spite.
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
I'll take dirty Thomas Jane.
J.Love looks like she is such an annoying gf.
***********************************************
Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
What is with Patricia Arquette's boobs?? What's with her hair?
================================================
the end...
You are right.
I didn't care.
But thanks for sharing *lol*