Dumb Dumb Madam Rates Celebrities' Ho Value
Kristin Billie Davis is the ho that I briefly fell in love with during that whole Spitzer drama. She sold top shelf poon through her Wicked Models escort service. Spitz was one of her clients. Kristin pleaded guilty to selling whores back in October. While she's waiting to be sentenced, 32-year-old (cough, HACK, choke) Kristin shared her pro-ho skills with Steppin' Out Magazine (via Gawker) by saying how much Brit Brit, Sarah Palin, Wonky McValtrex and others would make if they sold their ass for her.
It's hard for me to listen to a creature who looks like she hasn't been exposed to natural light since the early 90s for fear that the sun might turn her into a puddle of silicone.
Kristin's assessment is totally WTF-ish. This dumb whore makes no sense. I mean, she says Katie Holmes could make up to $3,000 an hour, because she has that "girl next door" look. Yeah, if you live next to a methadone clinic for snails. Has this plastic moron seen Katie Holmes lately?! Kristin also thinks Brit Brit's chitterling pie could sell for about a grand. And if she didn't lose her brains, she could get $2,000.
I don't know why Wonky McValtrex is even included. That bitch is already handing out her broke down snatch for the bargain basement price of $0. The dumb fucks who hit that shit are the ones who pay the price by receiving a standing appointment to the free clinic.
I wish they would've asked her how much The Empress of Lucite would cost for an hour of fucky times. Kristin's Tupperware tittays (that's what she thinks with) would have exploded from trying to put a price on Shauna Sand's priceless lucite flower.
Kristin's entire list with her comments is after the jump. Warning. You might be offended and your outer (or inner) vagina will probably weep over this fuckery. JUMP!!!!
1. Britney Spears: If she cleaned herself up maybe I could get a thousand dollars an hour for her. But if was the old Britney before she went crazy I could have gotten $2,000 easy.
2. Paris Hilton: She would get $1,500 an hour. She's slender and doesn't have implants. She's blonde and I could get away with selling her as a Ford model.
3. Beth Ostrosky: I like Beth. She's tall and blonde. It's always a homerun if I can get a girl who's 5'9” or above. She's usually perfect. Beth would be in the upper ranking. I could get $2,000 an hour for her easy.
4. Katie Holmes: Katie would be very popular because she has that All American, college girl look. She would be super popular. Men want girls who look like Howard Stern's wife; the tall slender model type or they want that non-flashy, classically beautiful fresh face young look. The girl next door whom they could never get. They want the runway model they can't have now, or the prom queen they couldn't have then. I could probably get $2,500 an hour for Katie. Maybe even $3,000. I could max out on her.
5. Angelina Jolie: She would be my top girl. I call it my “Number one.” I would put her at $2,000 an hour. But you couldn't get her unless you booked her for 4 hours. I wouldn't let her go for just an hour. Maybe if you were a good client you could get her for an hour, but I would charge a lot more. At least $2,500.
6. Sarah Palin: (Laughs) I wouldn't have any market for her. She couldn't work for me. She's cute, but not for my kind of clients. There are escort agencies that specialize in specific kinds of demographics. She could work for a cheaper agency. Maybe a $300 dollar an hour type agency. I would call her a mid-range escort type.
7. Playboy Playmates: I had many Playmates call me for work. Many! I'm talking about centerfolds. But I would only work with 1 out of 5. Usually, their boobs are too big or too fake looking. They look too California. For the most part I wouldn't use Playmates.
8. Lindsay Lohan: She would do great! She's got that fresh face and freckles. Men would eat her up! I could get $1,800 an hour for Lindsay….Easy! I would let her go for just the hour. She would work more volume for me. Short stays and busy all night. But I'm sure I could get clients to extend time with her if I asked.
9. Rihanna: I think she is stunning and gorgeous. If I were a client I would choose her. But honestly, I don't have a market for her. She couldn't work for me. It's unfortunate. The African American and Asian models never do well. Rihanna wouldn't bring in any business for me.
10. Melania Trump: She's hot. She would make a lot of money. But the one problem with her is that men don't like Jewish women and eastern European women. So I would have to lie about her nationality. Maybe say she's from Amsterdam or Sweden. Otherwise she would have trouble getting work. I would also change her name. I could get $2,000 an hour for her if she played along and didn't let it slip where she's from.
All you can fucking do is shake your head and cackle. I'd sell my kidney just to touch RiRi's forehead with my pinky finger. Besides, most of these women make three times that an hour just from breathing.
ShareThis
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:13pm.
Submitted by la cucaracha on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:12pm.
You might as well put it back. I am about to quote it.
I saw it! Spelt it 'Jamima' as well. Sad twat!
*************************************************
“MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.”
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:28pm.
Clearly, this piece of cheese knows it's wrong and it desperately trying to cover its own tracks. Let us not forget that the only thing it is good for is coupling with sauce and laying on a pizza with hunks of pigs' guts on it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:24pm.
Amazing. Isn't it true that the more powerful men socially have more of a need to be dominated than most in their private life?
----------------------------------
Post fervently like a cow caught in a tornado. They must know you are right!! They have to see that what you think is what everyone should believe because you will run it into the ground if your point is not take.
Troll rulebook pg. 99 chapter 11.
I can't belive what I'm reading! There's nothing ugly about black people, or brown people, or yellow people, or red people, or white people in the general sense.
You, Provolone, are clear. Irrelevant.
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:24pm.
No, never had sex with men. Only S/M I had a dungeon down town Manhattan near empire state building. I had men walking out rightfully so when I told them absolutely no sex. Their were dildos, paddles, sounds, whips, dildo chair, the cross, catheres, nurse room, for colonics and stuff. A wrench that would pick them up to the ceiling when I would tie them up. Never had sex with men. Fuck that shit. They are not worthy for sex I just wanted to degrade them, beat them, piss on them. I was the queen of brown showers. They would eat it or cover it all on their body. Being in cased in body bags, locked in dog cages. I dressed several men as women and had them at Hunts Point in the Bronx selling themselves and would only pick them up if they made a certain amount of money for me. They were married with kids and being caught for them would be the most humilating thing for them but that never happen to them because I was the domme that cared.
Jesus. Type slower. *thwack, thwack, thwack*
78wo0oknd7yd289911-093uamxjcodl x
The "ignorant" card. LOL!
I know what you're talking about too.
But still - the things you say ARE kinda ingnorant.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Tell us the most unusual request you've had as a Dom. Tell us stories. *gets bag of chips and popcorn*
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:24pm.
You... are a goddess.
&&&
"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 4:31pm.
I wouldn't pay 2k an hour for a Chinese girl, you're just horny again an hour later.
*****
that's fab!! lol
*****
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 4:32pm.
Nope. She's scared of the Scientos. As she should be.
I wish someone else could be as obsessed about this as I am. I am ALL over this story. Just like I was for ANS and Caylee Anthony. Like a terrier: I smell a rat and I want AT it.
*****
She should not be - all the more reason to go after her competition at Fox (Greta)
and I was completely fucking obsessed with Anna and am over Caylee, too!!! Robert Blake's was another case I watched way too much of.
*****
I'm a Sarah Palin in a Beth Ostrosky world.
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:20pm.
I'm curious as to what Provolone's ethnic background is. I'm gonna guess Mediterrean or something that isn't 'white bread' but falling into the grey categorie or else why be preoccupied with the features of black people?
Am I right?
No you guess that because im named after an italian cheese. Italian(Calabrese) and Irish. And I'm glad im not 'white bread'. And im not preoccupied with the features of black women. You look at a National Geographic and you notice the physcial trends. Doesn't take much thought or preoccupation, they are ugggggglllllly.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:23pm.
Who are you to talk to a woman like that? You need to learn to show respect to the gender that gave you life.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Thank you! Not only that, I happen to be a pretty terrific person. No lie, fly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
No, never had sex with men. Only S/M I had a dungeon down town Manhattan near empire state building. I had men walking out rightfully so when I told them absolutely no sex. Their were dildos, paddles, sounds, whips, dildo chair, the cross, catheres, nurse room, for colonics and stuff. A wrench that would pick them up to the ceiling when I would tie them up. Never had sex with men. Fuck that shit. They are not worthy for sex I just wanted to degrade them, beat them, piss on them. I was the queen of brown showers. They would eat it or cover it all on their body. Being in cased in body bags, locked in dog cages. I dressed several men as women and had them at Hunts Point in the Bronx selling themselves and would only pick them up if they made a certain amount of money for me. They were married with kids and being caught for them would be the most humilating thing for them but that never happen to them because I was the domme that cared.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:21pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:17pm.
Nothing screams "I'm a vapid moron" like using the 'ignorant' card as an insult. Who started the whole "you're ignorant if i disagree with you trend"? This coming from a person that can't differentiate between absolute and general statements. Ha. Go make me a sandwich
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You do realize that this post of your makes little to no sense, don't you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:21pm.
Nothing screams "I'm a vapid moron" like using the 'ignorant' card as an insult. Who started the whole "you're ignorant if i disagree with you trend"? This coming from a person that can't differentiate between absolute and general statements. Ha. Go make me a sandwich
===============================
Who are you to talk to a woman like that? You need to learn to show respect to the gender that gave you life.
Who cares what color people are as long as they're decent human beings?
The ones that aren't decent might as well be clear because their existence is irrelevant.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:17pm.
Nothing screams "I'm a vapid moron" like using the 'ignorant' card as an insult. Who started the whole "you're ignorant if i disagree with you trend"? This coming from a person that can't differentiate between absolute and general statements. Ha. Go make me a sandwich
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
I'm curious as to what Provolone's ethnic background is. I'm gonna guess Mediterrean or something that isn't 'white bread' but falling into the grey categorie or else why be preoccupied with the features of black people?
Am I right?
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:14pm.
It's how you sell the girls to the guys. Men are stupid. Really!!!
I agree sometimes my nads do all the thinking for me,gets me into trouble. Stories?
----------------------------------
Provolone always says things to provoke. For some reason, s/he doesn't bug me, even when it's kind of outrageous. Kaiserin used to say extreme things, too, and I loved her ass and miss her. I think Provolone has taken Kaiserin's place in my heart.
Am I the only one who's seen pics of Katie with herpes all over her mouth all the time? who pays thousands to get "the tingle" ??
Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:16pm
I agree with you. Just saying that's the sterotype. Mostly because of the whole mail order bride thing. Now go take a xanex and calm down.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:14pm.
Your response proves not only are you ignorant, you know damn well you are wrong.
Good day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Provolone! Why do you need to say things like that?
Jesus Christ Provolone, I've done my best to ignore your moronic ass, but I've had enough. Not every woman from Eastern Europe is a gold digging whore. Before "retiring" from translation work to teach part time to accomodate my children, I made significantly more than my husband. Most women in Eastern Europe are very educated, and unlike the US, we make as much as men for the same damn job. Eastern European women are no more golddiggers than any other ethnic group.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.
They forgot to ask about Dita Von Teese.
That sun-deprived ho would make sure she looks good, even if things get messy.
♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫
"HELL NO KITTY-Michael K."
It's how you sell the girls to the guys. Men are stupid. Really!!! When I would describe she's hawaian and german, or american russian or just russian, jamican and english, even a regular p.r girl can go for venazulain white. Even though they are around they way white girls. Guys would be so stupid and say yes. Men want what they can't get get that is exotic so that is what they pay for a beat down, golden shower, brown shower, s/m etc....
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:07pm.
aryan nation websites?!?!?! Leap to conclusions much!! Not sure what I'm ignorant about. I made a general(general, not absoloute you dumb fuck) statement. And for you to combat it or to try and prove me wrong by using a singular example like pete doherty shows how stupid you are.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Submitted by la cucaracha on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:12pm.
You might as well put it back. I am about to quote it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 5:44pm.
Yes tits, I was a domme. it was fun and still miss working as a domme. I can tell you so many stories.
*
You have our full attention!!
Fire away!
I am curious to know how much 'actual' sex was involved - ie penis inserted in... something vs how much was the emotional part.
I once knew a woman who specialize in spankings. Kinda dull in reality.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
..........................
8. Lindsay Lohan: She would do great!
And she has a proven track record with guys and girls.
----------------------------------
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 5:49pm.
And how am I stupid? Because you as a black women disagree with my opinion that black girls are for the most part busted? Unless they have white attributes...(see halle berry, rhianna)
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
How are you stupid? Oh let me count the ways! I have seen some seriously busted women and they come in all races, honey. The same applies to beautiful women. And busted men? Ever taken a gander at Pete Doherty? Seriously, Provolone, you knew damn well what kind of reaction you would get by making these ignorant remarks and you knew you were setting yourself up. So I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you have a very low opinion of yourself and the only way you can validate your own insecure existence is by coming here and putting people down. You have the right to your opinion but if you've been here any length of time at all, you know you should be peddling it at some Aryan Nation site rather than DListed. See, here we except everyone but racist assholes and trolls. And hey lookee here! You win a gold medal in both categories!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
aaaaand out comes the Fuckit Bucket
___________________________
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON 12/31/2008-7:10pm.
Oh look, a Stalker and Troll made a Love Connection.
E Harmony really does work!
@I wanna beMonicaB, yes, what?
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
provolone - does it hurt to be that stupid?
___________________________
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON 12/31/2008-7:10pm.
Oh look, a Stalker and Troll made a Love Connection.
E Harmony really does work!
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 5:42pm.
The only white guys i know that love black girls are incredibly racist.
***********************************
It's obvious you don't know a lot of people.
It's also obvious why.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Yes tits, I was a domme. it was fun and still miss working as a domme. I can tell you so many stories.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Submitted by sushi on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 5:32pm.
"I think that SHE has a narrow idea of what men want, and chooses hookers accordinly. If you've ever watched cathouse, you'll see thicker girls, girls next door, over the top boobs and amazon blondes, black, asian, a little person...obviously there is a market for all these girls, or they wouldn't be there. "
****
Yes, but the key here is she's renting out high priced whores to wealthy men.
*****************************
It has everything to do with her demographic. Which is gonna be tiny, really. It's all a bunch of guys from the same circle(jerk).
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
I disagree with the eastern european thing. they are hot! Maybe their accents give away that they are golddigging whores?? I agree with the black girl thing though. Unless they're white looking they are busted. The only white guys i know that love black girls are incredibly racist. Refering to sexxy times with them as 'whitening them up'. I know, ignorant.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Plastic moron.....great description.
Submitted by Kp on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 3:52pm.
Submitted by Salem13 on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 3:37pm.
Even if these racist assholes hated black women/Jews/Asians, it doesnt mean they wouldnt want to have sex with them. Fuck, it might even make them WANT to have sex with them.
*********
I used to live in a small shitty Civil War town in the durty durty south and some of the most hateful and ignorant men would call every black man in sight filthy names and then turn right around and hit on me(I'm black). I would think that there would be MORE call for different races in the whore arena than less because that makes it even more forbidden, or, worst case scenario, because it gives them the opportunity to control and dominate that which they hate so much.
___________________________
Submitted by LOVE ANDERSON 12/31/2008-7:10pm.
Oh look, a Stalker and Troll made a Love Connection.
E Harmony really does work!
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 5:15pm.
She doesn't sound to brite to sell because as a former domme mistress in NYC not fucking men.
------------------------------------------------
WTF?
"I think that SHE has a narrow idea of what men want, and chooses hookers accordinly. If you've ever watched cathouse, you'll see thicker girls, girls next door, over the top boobs and amazon blondes, black, asian, a little person...obviously there is a market for all these girls, or they wouldn't be there. "
****
Yes, but the key here is she's renting out high priced whores to wealthy men. The cathouse whores are low cost in comparison, so the horney fuggos who can't get laid any other way don't mind BOGO prices.
The rich guys want someone they feel like they could take to a corporate party and not be embarrassed. So of course they don't want a slutty looking Asian.
She's clearly a terrible madam. She did get herself busted, after all. If I was a madam, I'd have a fuckload of boys available because these fuckers are terrible at trying to solicit at gay bars. Just make it easier for them and make some serious coin while you're at it. I mean, if 'straight' men try to pick up women the same way they try to pick up men I'm shocked any of them have ever had any sex. And what about latinas? Are they not marketable for this bitch either? You can't tell men don't want them. If she was any good at this, she'd have blondes, brunettes, gingers [I'd pay for Carrot Top], boys, girls, trannies, black, white, Asian, latina, and one really hot midget.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 5:15pm.
She doesn't sound to brite to sell because as a former domme mistress in NYC not fucking men.
*
am I reading this right? are you saying YOU were a domme mistress?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Most hetero men aren't that picky when it comes to fucky times, yes, but when they're shelling that much cash for poon, they want their fantasy delivered to them and considering that the media pushes the All-American virgin/whore dichotomy of blonde vs. brunette, they're more apt to pick those ones over the others.
______________________________________________________________
And why do people still propose? What's wrong with just saying, "Hey bitch, what are you doing later? Let's go ruin our lives together."
She doesn't sound to brite to sell because as a former domme mistress in NYC not fucking men. She can get away charging men to pay an exhorbianht amount of money for a blonde girl. Britney, Paris, $3000. Anglena would go for 3000 for domme work because she looks exotic. As far as Rhinna men pay for black women because they think they are freaky and really exotic and they usually can get white women so often time they will try something different. They wouldnt work every day but they would make the same as white women that works everyday.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Submitted by Jan_In_The_Pan on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 4:11pm.
This story reminded me of a site I used to go to now and then. If you go to punternet.com, you can read "field reports" written by guys who've used prostitutes and they describe the whole thing in terms of whether or not it was worth the cash, how the parking was, etc.
*
the ones that checked the box = 'would not recommend' have the best stories!!
http://www.punternet.com/frs/fr_search.php
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Old Butterface tranny is forgetting we know what Spitzer's whore looks like. Let's see: A ratfaced guida from New Jersey is what she gave the Gov. of NY state.
Guys don't care if a woman is Jewish or Eastern European. Please. Guys just care that the whore is good looking. Anyway, isn't Eastern Europe known for their beautiful women? Especially Czech and Russian women?
Butterface seems to be entering a psychotic, delusional breakdown. Makes Joaquin Phoenix look sane.