Dumb Dumb Madam Rates Celebrities' Ho Value
Kristin Billie Davis is the ho that I briefly fell in love with during that whole Spitzer drama. She sold top shelf poon through her Wicked Models escort service. Spitz was one of her clients. Kristin pleaded guilty to selling whores back in October. While she's waiting to be sentenced, 32-year-old (cough, HACK, choke) Kristin shared her pro-ho skills with Steppin' Out Magazine (via Gawker) by saying how much Brit Brit, Sarah Palin, Wonky McValtrex and others would make if they sold their ass for her.
It's hard for me to listen to a creature who looks like she hasn't been exposed to natural light since the early 90s for fear that the sun might turn her into a puddle of silicone.
Kristin's assessment is totally WTF-ish. This dumb whore makes no sense. I mean, she says Katie Holmes could make up to $3,000 an hour, because she has that "girl next door" look. Yeah, if you live next to a methadone clinic for snails. Has this plastic moron seen Katie Holmes lately?! Kristin also thinks Brit Brit's chitterling pie could sell for about a grand. And if she didn't lose her brains, she could get $2,000.
I don't know why Wonky McValtrex is even included. That bitch is already handing out her broke down snatch for the bargain basement price of $0. The dumb fucks who hit that shit are the ones who pay the price by receiving a standing appointment to the free clinic.
I wish they would've asked her how much The Empress of Lucite would cost for an hour of fucky times. Kristin's Tupperware tittays (that's what she thinks with) would have exploded from trying to put a price on Shauna Sand's priceless lucite flower.
Kristin's entire list with her comments is after the jump. Warning. You might be offended and your outer (or inner) vagina will probably weep over this fuckery. JUMP!!!!
1. Britney Spears: If she cleaned herself up maybe I could get a thousand dollars an hour for her. But if was the old Britney before she went crazy I could have gotten $2,000 easy.
2. Paris Hilton: She would get $1,500 an hour. She's slender and doesn't have implants. She's blonde and I could get away with selling her as a Ford model.
3. Beth Ostrosky: I like Beth. She's tall and blonde. It's always a homerun if I can get a girl who's 5'9” or above. She's usually perfect. Beth would be in the upper ranking. I could get $2,000 an hour for her easy.
4. Katie Holmes: Katie would be very popular because she has that All American, college girl look. She would be super popular. Men want girls who look like Howard Stern's wife; the tall slender model type or they want that non-flashy, classically beautiful fresh face young look. The girl next door whom they could never get. They want the runway model they can't have now, or the prom queen they couldn't have then. I could probably get $2,500 an hour for Katie. Maybe even $3,000. I could max out on her.
5. Angelina Jolie: She would be my top girl. I call it my “Number one.” I would put her at $2,000 an hour. But you couldn't get her unless you booked her for 4 hours. I wouldn't let her go for just an hour. Maybe if you were a good client you could get her for an hour, but I would charge a lot more. At least $2,500.
6. Sarah Palin: (Laughs) I wouldn't have any market for her. She couldn't work for me. She's cute, but not for my kind of clients. There are escort agencies that specialize in specific kinds of demographics. She could work for a cheaper agency. Maybe a $300 dollar an hour type agency. I would call her a mid-range escort type.
7. Playboy Playmates: I had many Playmates call me for work. Many! I'm talking about centerfolds. But I would only work with 1 out of 5. Usually, their boobs are too big or too fake looking. They look too California. For the most part I wouldn't use Playmates.
8. Lindsay Lohan: She would do great! She's got that fresh face and freckles. Men would eat her up! I could get $1,800 an hour for Lindsay….Easy! I would let her go for just the hour. She would work more volume for me. Short stays and busy all night. But I'm sure I could get clients to extend time with her if I asked.
9. Rihanna: I think she is stunning and gorgeous. If I were a client I would choose her. But honestly, I don't have a market for her. She couldn't work for me. It's unfortunate. The African American and Asian models never do well. Rihanna wouldn't bring in any business for me.
10. Melania Trump: She's hot. She would make a lot of money. But the one problem with her is that men don't like Jewish women and eastern European women. So I would have to lie about her nationality. Maybe say she's from Amsterdam or Sweden. Otherwise she would have trouble getting work. I would also change her name. I could get $2,000 an hour for her if she played along and didn't let it slip where she's from.
All you can fucking do is shake your head and cackle. I'd sell my kidney just to touch RiRi's forehead with my pinky finger. Besides, most of these women make three times that an hour just from breathing.
ShareThis
The bottom line is the price for all domme girls would be the same because as the owner the bottom line is money. Men called and I would describe how exotic the girls look like and they pick from that if they wanted them to go their hotel or home, noone would was sent back because they didn't like them or if they would come to the dungeon and would pick from a line up girls. I don't care if you are fat, skinny, black, white, short hair, long hair everyone was $1000.00 for the hr.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Ha. Provolone. lil dick man's at it again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41APzy5kqBU
Prov, I figured with that mix they would be green. I love green eyes. so rare. Last night I found a great article on eye color probably the best I've ever read.
http://annettelaselle.com/2008/10/13/eyes-and-their-colors.aspx
I was looking up multi colored eyes when I came across it. Posting to my site.
Just ignore the provolone ladies and gents, there really is no point in engaging with him. I've done it twice and I'll never get those minutes back. The best thing to do is just laugh at him. He's pretty slow on the uptake though, doesn't quite get that you're taking the piss. Seriously, its a much less stressful way to deal with the ignorant, racist and just plain stupid.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:56pm.
The great thing about this thread is pretty much anything is on topic. Race? Sure. Domination? Yup. Sexism, economics, class, celebrity, Hollywood, politics, fromage... *tired of typing*
*******************************************
Fromage! Fromage! J'amie la fromage...or is it le fromage? I'm going with la fromage.... Oh and let's talk le vin aussi! Which box is best? Yeah, I'm fancy like that, no canned wine for me...I go straight for the box...Call me a wine snob, I don't care *tiger nose in the air*...
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 7:03pm.
Im not German. Nor do i have "Aryan" features. its soooo I G N O R A N T of you to come to such conclusions. Geez, Get Educated!!
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Honestly, how is anything Provolone is saying any worse than some of the hate that was spewed on fatties and rexies yesterday?
I <3 dlisted.com!
*****
I'm a Sarah Palin in a Beth Ostrosky world.
Stick a cock: Was Woody Allen one of your clients, by any chance? I've always wondered about the user name.
Sheeps, the Bruins also wear black.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 7:01pm.
LOL clean after their mess!! Listen to your life full of whipping and poopy. Im sure you have really 'GREAT' stories. "Then this mortgage broker came over and i fisted him and dipped his balls in vinegar after a series of paper cuts on said balls, isnt that a great story" LOL, are you proud of yourself?? Uggh to think you're someones daughter.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Uggh. To think YOU'RE a member of the human race!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Submitted by Mr. President on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:59pm.
See the sissy Alexander Semin fight??
http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/the_sporting_blog/entry/view/16177/watc...
and my eyes being black n blue was someone else making a joke...GOT IT?
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:52pm.
Prov, it is 'seriously'. Just curious, what color are your eyes?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Eyes: blue
Hair: blond
Favorite habit: goose-stepping to The Horst Wessel song
I forgot to add food: sauerKRAUT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
LOL clean after their mess!! Listen to your life full of whipping and poopy. Im sure you have really 'GREAT' stories. "Then this mortgage broker came over and i fisted him and dipped his balls in vinegar after a series of paper cuts on said balls, isnt that a great story" LOL, are you proud of yourself?? Uggh to think you're someones daughter.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Submitted by Mr. President on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:59pm.
The Bruins have the best record in the Northeast Division = domination.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, this is graphic.
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:55pm.
Beautiful emerald green eyes. With brown hair.
=================================================
You missed the point. he said she was gonna make your eyes black and blue....got it now?
~~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~
I want to rip his nuts off with my teefs, filet his penis, cook it up and feed it to him with freshly squeezed nut sauce on top! ARGGGHH!
Laterz Gatorz, work in 5 hours. Yoiks! :)
*************************************************
“MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.”
Stick, you say you were the queen of brown showers. Was it hard to do the first time? How do you plan that? I've just notice there is an insane market for this on porn sites like netporn.nl and shockingtube. Sorry to be so personal but this fetish fascinates me.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:56pm.
The great thing about this thread is pretty much anything is on topic.
---------------------------
The Bruins have the best record in the Northeast Division.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:53pm.
And got pink eye after itching it.
You scratch an itch, Einstein, you don't itch one!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
@Provolone, no I never had pink eye because the clients would clean after the mess. Whatever you say is ok because everyone knows that you are corny anyway.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Katie Holmes COULD make a killing. It's obvious she is into domination/humiliation.
Just look at her marriage!
***************************************
The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
http://www.myspace.com/triston
The great thing about this thread is pretty much anything is on topic. Race? Sure. Domination? Yup. Sexism, economics, class, celebrity, Hollywood, politics, fromage... *tired of typing*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, this is graphic.
Beautiful emerald green eyes. With brown hair.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
I wonder what gift Aubrey O'Day gave her for Mother's Day. 32 years old? YEAH RIGHT.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by SICKITTEN on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:52pm.
Prov, it is 'seriously'. Just curious, what color are your eyes?
Black and blue in a minute by the sounds of it :)
*************************************************
“MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.”
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:45pm.
You know when you're chopping onions and your eye gets itchy, so you scratch it and go ohh yea i was chopping onions. Then your eyes tear up
Well i hope you got an itch on your eye when you were cleaning your shit covered dildos. And got pink eye after itching it.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Now just wait a mother FUCKING minute. This bitch has the AUDACITY to speak about silicon implants when those bruised and busted ass tits look as if they have been used as punching bags by Floyd Mayweather Jr. right before a boxing competition. Let me also add that nobody is interested in Lohan's bag of geriatric leopard spots. That's fucking hysterical though. Perhaps this tranny ass bitch should consider auditioning for SNL because with her logic the audience would be in non-stop hysterics. She needs to shut the fuck up.
P.S. She's 32 years old? Oh wait, I guess that's the KIM ZOLCIAK "rationale" rearing it's ugly and disillusioned head. ROFLMAO.
"People are strange when you're a stranger..." ~ The Doors
provolone is a sh*t starter around these parts, but she does have a sorta point. Go on any love site and count the amount of men who are SOLELY looking for black women as compared to any other race. Not someone looking for all ethnicities, but the ones who are only looking fpr blk as compared to others....I think that is telling about most peoples views of the attractiveness of blk women.
~~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~
I want to rip his nuts off with my teefs, filet his penis, cook it up and feed it to him with freshly squeezed nut sauce on top! ARGGGHH!
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:38pm.
Sorry to butt in, but I think Queen Latifah is beautiful. And as for your other remarks, you are welcome to your opinion on beauty (which is highly subjective) but I'm sure you could come up with a less inflammatory way of expressing yourself.
---------------------------------------------
In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
Prov, it is 'seriously'. Just curious, what color are your eyes?
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:47pm.
Ha! Now someone pulled the "stupid" card on you! Haha!
Seriously. Provolone obviously has a very limited life experience. I very much doubt he gets off his little piece of land often if ever.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Angel, darling, it's always difficult to get out from under that trip-trap bridge for the first time but eventually they all try it.
Gruff! Gruff!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:45pm.
who's talking about SM? I'm just talking about who is generally more attractive. How is that stupid. Glad your lifes work of sticking dildos in sexually abused mens assholes gives you a PHD in psychology.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Ha! Now someone pulled the "stupid" card on you! Haha!
Seriously. Provolone obviously has a very limited life experience. I very much doubt he gets off his little piece of land often if ever.
♥ ThreadKilla!
Five Famous People I Would Invite To Dinner
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Provolone you are so stupid. It's not about being black. Many times men just cared if they can fulfill their fantasy. I had a guy that wanted a heavy set girl that would wear high heel boots or high heel shoes and step and stand on their cheast and crush grapes on them. Often times it's not about race in S/M it's who can carry out their fantasy and had no problem with it because their white wives wouldn't understand or had no idea what their husband is into.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Trust me I spot all the trolls. The epic fail is on all of you. Must go make a report of this and count how many posts have been made since I was here last.
Submitted by trollspotter on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:35pm.
OT: How much for Pheobe Price?
*****
I think she has to pay the guys.
omg - MK's gonna hate me after that, isn't he? ~hahaha
*****
I'm a Sarah Palin in a Beth Ostrosky world.
Speaking of trolls, I wonder how much money Hayden Panettiere would fetch. Call me crazy, but I'd pay more for her than any of the chicks on this list except Rihanna.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by trollspotter on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:38pm.
No sucking up trolls. It doesnt work on me!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You just had an EPIC FAIL. You FAILED to spot a real troll, jerkweed. Ugh. I've been around my son too much today. Jerkweed?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Submitted by trollspotter on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:38pm.
sucking off trolls. It works for me!!
Excellent.
*************************************************
“MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.”
Submitted by trollspotter on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:35pm.
Your comments are cracking me up.
OT: How much for Pheobe Price?
----------------------------------
No sucking up trolls. It doesnt work on me!!
@SickKitten, nothing was unusual becuase I wanted to make money and you have to throw out all that is normal or not normal out the window. I hated when guys wouldn't tell me anything and I would have to be a psychic and figure out what they want and usually it's a cock in their mouth. I would blind fold them and strap on a cock so they could suck on it but often times it would be a guy with a condom on that they are sucking on or pretend I am fucking them with a dildo and have a guy fuck them. Fuck them.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Queen Latifah has a good looking face??? BWAHWHHWABBAAAHHAHHAHHHAHAHHA!!! I can't take anything you have to say serious now.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
haha - wow - now that I've caught up I guess returning to nancy Grace was kind of out there, huh?
just for the record, you've all probably posted something at one time or another that I've disagreed with - but somoe of you that do it the most are probably some of the posters I most look forward to reading (and debating/discussing). I can think of 2 right off the bat but i won't name names. lol
*****
I'm a Sarah Palin in a Beth Ostrosky world.
Submitted by trollspotter on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:33pm.
Dont worry, I see you.
Hahahaha! How are you? Good i hope! Can i sharpen your pencil?
*************************************************
“MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.”
The longer I stare at her pic, the more she looks like my husband's business partner and that's just truly frightening.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Provolone, you forget about those purebred Africans that have that blue/black skin. Some tribes in Africa are beautiful. So that's the answer to your trends in National Geographic.
You're either attractive or you are not. Look at Queen Latifah. She doesn't have white features and her face is gorgeous. What about Sugar Ray Leonard? See, it doesn't matter.
Sub Saharan African women are BUSTED!!! If you had to rate them is all i'm saying.
"To have the gall to rank the attractivness of women from around the world, well that.. i mean My Dear SIR, that is just ignorant, racist and uneducated"
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Dont worry, I see you.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 6:31pm.
Thank you, kind sir. (Good thing you said that because I realized after I copied the header to tell it I copied its post, I had copied the header over the post so I don't even have it to re-post!)
{{brain vibrates}}
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
WooHoo, trollspotter! I'm over here!!
*************************************************
“MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.”