At Least It's Not Mop Head
I was a little worried when my arch rival CHERYL BURKE and that steaming cup of hot douche water Maksim Chmerkovskiy were pictured holding hands last September. I became a little more worried when Maksim called CHERYL BURKE a fat mop, because that's something douchebags in love say about the object of their affection. I am pleased to announce that Maksim is promised to be married and it's not to Mop Head. It's to Mario Lopez's former beard: Karina Smirnoff Ice.
E! News says that 28-year-old Maksim asked 30-year-old Smirnoff Ice to be his on New Year's Eve. They apparently became loooovers while traveling together on the Dancing with the Has-Beens tour. They are both from Ukraine, so I'm hoping their wedding will be filled with gold, white feathers and rhinestones. Naturally.
I sort of knew they were humping on each other's fake-tanned asses, but this whole "getting married" thing is a little surprising. The thought probably popped into Maksim's pretty little head all of a sudden. He immediately bopped Smirnoff Ice over the head with his club, dragged her to his cave which is covered in pictures of himself (you know it is) and said to her, "You be my wife." If I was to ever get engaged, that's how I want it to go down.
And Karina should get her nose rotated again before the wedding. Her nose is starting to look like a lizard's head and that's not pretty.
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he's hot, but needs to button the GD shirt.
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 3:01pm.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 2:48pm.
Two Ukrainian guidos.
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Does anyone remember that caption this pic of the russian wedding - the wedding dress that only covered the nips?
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I wouldn't mind seeing hers, but HIS hsve GOT to stay covered.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Submitted by paris herpes on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 10:34pm.
Just so thankful his nip hasn't slipped. Gross.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Maksim & Charlie Sheen are the creepiest men I have ever seen! EEWW him and that fugly bitch deserve each other. One of these days her nose will fall off MMHAAAA!
Maksim either has a crazed wonk eye or he is ON CRACK!!!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Her nose scares me...looks like it's about to break off her face and RUN!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 8:35pm.
I'm too lazy to read back so if someone else already said this, OOPS.
This guy looks like Matthew Fox on crack!
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Ha! or Ben Affleck's pedophile older brother.
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Bye! Good
who are these people?
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certified in knocking dicks outta mouths...
The girl looks like a witch!
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Get a spicy celebrity news!
I'm too lazy to read back so if someone else already said this, OOPS.
This guy looks like Matthew Fox on crack!
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Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
i so see the lizard
they are both assholes. they can breed and spawn little assholes.
He's a lot hotter then Mario thats for sure but WAY too much of an asshole to tolerate.
God these 2 deserve each other and as they are both from the Ukraine they can take their honey moon in their home villages 'Borat' style.
Doesnt he seem mildly retarded?
"The Who cares news" indeed.
2 whores.
wonderful. i give it a minute.
can't wait to see pictures.
She is just nasty ugly witch-like. And didn't she have a nose job? What - did they make it bigger? That is Fright Night.
And he is sleezy gross to me. I know he thinks he is so attractive, but he is just so disgusting to me...
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 2:48pm.
Two Ukrainian guidos.
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Does anyone remember that caption this pic of the russian wedding - the wedding dress that only covered the nips?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Two Ukrainian guidos.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Karina's not 30. More like 40.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:12pm.
MORE OFF TOPIC:
I tried to get a gift certificate for Cisco Adler's nutsack but I'm a girl so no one took me seriously.
Maybe you could try Neuticals. get a rubber model.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
@ TITS--
Ahahahaha!!! Nicely said.
A coworker's 5th grade son asked her, "Why do guys have to use condoms, Mom? Why can't they just use a sock?
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:16pm.
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:09pm.
aw don't be glum my little mass produced in china chum!!
He'd be LUCKY to jerk the chicken into a sock as fine as you!!
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
@Deb...I don't believe that Mensa International will be mailing out any membership applications to either of these vertical apes anytime soon...I bet he's a hi-Karate kind of guy...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
When you have been thru hell and life's not done with you yet...
Don't look for what's lost but live for what's left...Niller...
Rhodes scholar! hahahaha - there's that Deb magic I've been waiting for! :)
Submitted by Thornhill on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:31pm.
Is this guy slow, you know what I mean by slow right...?
Thorny, he definitely has a shortbusocity about him.
But then again, his partner doesn't look like a Rhodes scholar either.
He also looks like he drenches himself in loud cologne.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I would totally hit it and then I would hit her. (Although it is never a good thing to hit a woman.....grin)
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:27pm.
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that's a very good pic of Adam Sandler! :)
What's real about reality...?
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
When you have been thru hell and life's not done with you yet...
Don't look for what's lost but live for what's left...Niller...
Maksim that hot piece of ass
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:31pm.
That's why me lurves you, Sugaroo. I like bugs and grass, too!
Awww. *hugs and bugs*
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Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:23pm.
Considering the alternative, lunacy is infinitely better than reality. For instance, the bugs and grass I ate last night were much more interesting than my keeper's spaghetti bolognese!
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That's why me lurves you, Sugaroo. I like bugs and grass, too!
ON T: She needs a straw when sipping her drinks.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Is this guy slow, you know what I mean by slow right...?
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
When you have been thru hell and life's not done with you yet...Don't look for what's lost but live for what's left...Niller...
Thank God I don't watch reality shit, because I'm constantly entertained by not knowing who the fuck anybody is.
I thought this was Adam Sandler and Nicole Richie.
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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.
Button that gotdamn shirt!!! Gross!
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:21pm.
You know what they say...lunacy has a magical & exciting side, too! lol
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Considering the alternative, lunacy is infinitely better than reality. For instance, the bugs and grass I ate last night were much more interesting than my keeper's spaghetti bolognese!
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Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:05pm.
I bite my pillow on a regular basis. Is that wrong? It tastes good. I also drool on the sheets.
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You know what they say...lunacy has a magical & exciting side, too! lol
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
I am very happy for them and I hope they are married for eternity. Which in Hollyweird terms means at least six months..
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When you have been thru hell and life's not done with you yet...Don't look for what's lost but live for what's left...Niller...
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:16pm.
the zuccinis! yes! that's probably why Maksim is so well hung. nuclear enlargement
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Any ugly bride's maids dresses involved for Cheryl Burke to wear?
Submitted by zomay on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:11pm.
you took that picture!! wow! it's so clear! beautiful!
(oh yes, the headbands are just flying off shelves)
;D
.
Submitted by Hysteria on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:12pm.
Chmerkovskiy . . . that's where they had the nuclear meltdown
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and the largest zucchinis this side of christendom.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:09pm.
aw don't be glum my little mass produced in china chum!!
He'd be LUCKY to jerk the chicken into a sock as fine as you!!
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*kicking side of hamper* *screaming* NOT NICE!! Grrrr....
ON T: Reason for the unbuttoned shirt? You know the bitch is anxious to show off his 3rd nipple.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Chmerkovskiy . . . that's where they had the nuclear meltdown
.
MORE OFF TOPIC:
According to an insider, the biggest stocking stuffers this year among New York's young elites were gift certificates from Bellevue Medical Center's renowned reconstructive surgeon Dr. Alan Freedman. Apparently the hottest requests were for Angelina Jolie's lips, Ashlee Simpson's (reconstructed, not original) nose and Jessica Simpson's huge breasts.
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I tried to get a gift certificate for Cisco Adler's nutsack but I'm a girl so no one took me seriously.
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Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Yea Hysteria, I took the bear photo myself while hiking in Jellystone.
Anyways gaurd your headband because that is a hot item. :)
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Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:01pm.
aw don't be glum my little mass produced in china chum!!
He'd be LUCKY to jerk the chicken into a sock as fine as you!!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Submitted by zomay on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:04pm.
thank you, thank you beary much! it's a tribute to MK, Phoebe, and, of course, Mischkacaaa B. haha!
i love your very realistic bear!
;D
.
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:04pm.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:02pm.
...Can I sniff them first?... WHAT!
If you do my laundry, you can sniff whatever you like.
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Child? Fucking grown-man poo. Your anus will be in grown-man shambles.
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 12:32pm.
Hope they is both pillow biters.
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I bite my pillow on a regular basis. Is that wrong? It tastes good. I also drool on the sheets.
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Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
From what little I know of them, sounds like an ideal match.
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Wow, this is graphic.