This Is What Dita Von Teese Wears To Pilates Class
Does Dita Von Teese ever dress down? Like ever? Don't get me wrong. I think everyone should just like "Joan Crawford going to a weekday funeral" every single day. But does Dita ever say to herself, "Fuckitall. I'm wearing caca-stained sweats and a torn t-shirt from a car dealership to go work out." This takes effort. She doesn't even de-glam when she's actually working out. There's enough hairspray and make-up there to keep a million Barbie Styling Heads happy.
I also find it kind of funny that she does Pilates. They didn't really do that shit in the olden days, right? They did Calisthenics, hula hooping, jump rope and medicine ball chasing. Shit like that.
They even used a vibrating belt machine or spent a few hours sitting in a sweat box like Lucy did on I Love Lucy. I don't think Pilates was part of their daily shit.
That being said, Dita is hot for being so dedicated to maintaining the glamour.
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@Tits. Good bands, all of them. And if it makes you feel any better, I doubt you're as old as me (sulk and pout).
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 2:41am.
funny thing madam s. we had a opp to see the sp in concert in toronto in the 80's. we pooh poohed it at the time as we felt they'd sold out. HAH!
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Ha! Torontonians are always doing that! We did it to the Festival Express too!
♥ ThreadKilla!
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It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
funny thing madam s. we had a opp to see the sp in concert in toronto in the 80's. we pooh poohed it at the time as we felt they'd sold out. HAH!
the ramones in concert were mind blowing. i've never heard 1,2,3,4 said so quickly!! music delivered at a machine gun pace.
next best concert was the stranglers with chris spedding opening. outstanding.
edit - the b52's were surprisingly good! saw them at a mass concert over a weekend one summer. i have vague memories of the clash and blondie playing too.
fuck i'm old.
and the talking heads too. LOVED them.
2 days of top notch bands for 27$. I feel ill when I hear the tickets prices for a britney spears concert. jesus fucking christ! 300$ to see HER? or ANYONE? frankly for $300 i want janis joplin to rise from the dead.
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"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
TITS,
Possibly we ARE juvenile soul mates? I saw The Ramones twice before Joey died. The Sex Pistols (when they were The Sex Pistols) were before our time anyway... as far as I'm concerned.
TITS! long time,no see dirty whore.
I was an extra in Benjamin Button. Lets not make a big deal about it, it's my life.
Gucci-
the did a yr or 2 ago. it was called The Notorious Bettie Page and Gretchen Mol played her. She totally transformed herself - it was amazing how much she looked like her, imo. i thought it was pretty good.
*****
~~not quite a Britaloonie~~
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"YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS."-ShamWow Vince
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 2:04am.
*clapping hands and bouncing up and down*
MORE HOODRAT SUGGESTIONS!!!
You got some good ideas, girl. I dunno about the car thing but I'm considering lying in the neighbours yard and filming through a crack in the fence. But, I am seriously tempted to buy crickets right now!!!
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"cats are pussies" -- Team Valtrex
if they ever make a movie about betty page dita should play her.
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Brenda: "he braught HER to my sons bar mitzvah"
Annie: "was she a gift?"
The first wives club
Paris!!! xoxoxox I saw your email
I was on a ship with the most annoying people. They had sick cats and bad wine.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:58am.
There's probably one in every neighborhood. But for some reason, I seem to leave within yelling / screaming distance (and they all do it) of one everytime I've moved. I only had about 6 month of quite here before he moved in. *grumbles*
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"cats are pussies" -- Team Valtrex
I just checked my american email. xoxoxoxo
Madam s.
first band i ever saw was the ramones - WAY better than the sex pistols.
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"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
2c - can you scootch down in your car seat and film it from the angle of another neighbours house?
Then send it to the cops.
Other option is to make a note of the date, time and duration of the disturbances and get the other neighbours to do the same.
or... place a anon call from a payphone to the police reporting a violent assault.
or... burn something creative into their lawn with a mild acid.
my personal all time fav is to buy some crickets from a pet store and toss them in a open window.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
TITS,
We'll eat beet greens, kale, and chicory and fucking loiter all night like the fucking Sex Pistols!
Madam S, sounds like a plan stan.
Never loitered, eaten a twinkie or wrecked havoc in my life.
Time I started eh? (well, except for the twinkie)
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"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
EEewww TITS! Imagine the smell after it's been in the sun for a few hours...*gags*
I'm thinking about filming the shit here and posting it on youtube. I've fucking had enough of it. But I is askeered they'll catch me =(
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"cats are pussies" -- Team Valtrex
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:54am.
My neighbor across the street is the same way. We can tell when Spring has arrived because they bring it out on the front lawn.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
I once briefly lived in a building where the upstairs people would piss off the balcony onto peoples clothing drying on the line.
got them evicted right quick.
edit; wind chimes are a more heinous crime though.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
TITS,
We are possibly juvenile soul mates. Should we hang outside of a 7-11 convenience store all night, eat stolen Twinkies and wreak havok? (By "havok" I mean stand outside the 7-11 and eat our bought Twinkies while loitering).
I've got a seriously deranged lunatic living a few doors down that, for some reason, needs to take every fight he has (and there's at least one a week) into the front yard. He and his Dad (I think) scream and call each of fucking cunts at the top of their voices, punch each other, break shit..
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"cats are pussies" -- Team Valtrex
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:42am.
Lucky neighbours.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:42am.
Said it before and I'll say it again.
LMFTO!!!! You funnay Tiger :)
Nighty night!
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"cats are pussies" -- Team Valtrex
Submitted by madam s. on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:14am.
Hail to the king babee
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Ok, whores, I'm am back for a sec...I hope...My neighbors was doin' some hood rat stuff that prevented me from going nighty-night-night in ATL ghetto sleep land! That shit SETS ME OFF! AW, HELLS TO THE NAW!...Anywho,I'm countin'....I'm countin'.....*huff*, *huff*, *huff*....10...9...8...these mutha fuckas better shut they asses down fo' the evenin' cuz Tiger don't play dat....Ok, Ok, *exhale*...I'm about gettin' in they asses cuz I have...but I's tryna be a Klassier tigress for 2009...
Ok, I hears some quiets....
A'ight, whores, thanks for being my outlet, cuz if you skanks weren't here, I would have gone off on that bitch, cuz I'm ghetto like that....
Lurves ya...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:36am.
Submitted by madam s. on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:31am.
I've sat through it over 50 times, there's more humor in 60 seconds of that movie than in the entire careers of Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Will Ferrell combined. Actually, there's more humor in rectal hemmorhaging than in the entire careers of those guys.
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Ohh I do like Will Ferrell, though. Have you seen this?
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=sRDwrtaTH5M
Oh, and I also like movies about gladiators.
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"cats are pussies" -- Team Valtrex
Michael, ya know I love you forever and a day and all...
but Dita is the SHIT.
I don't care if she is taking a dump in the woods, the bitch is CLASS. Pilates in a hairspray molded do and PERFECTION makeup is all that Madam Dita is about.
She could come into Pilates, sit cross legged and be all "I am Dita, dahling" and I would melt like butter on hot fucking toast.
So, Dita, you go on with your classy and glamorous self. My girl crush will last forever and a day. Even if you did let that putrid Marilyn Mason dick up in you. I'll just find some voodoo spell to erase that from my memory while lovin' all over your glamorous bod.
Submitted by madam s. on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:31am.
I've sat through it over 50 times, there's more humor in 60 seconds of that movie than in the entire careers of Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Will Ferrell combined. Actually, there's more humor in rectal hemmorhaging than in the entire careers of those guys.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:33am.
Hehehe. Its that place where sick people go, but that's not important right now.
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"cats are pussies" -- Team Valtrex
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:30am.
The hospital? What is it?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:29am.
nope, not doin it
*******
That's what...
*snickers*
Couldn't you squeeze one in?
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"cats are pussies" -- Team Valtrex
Team V.,
I humbly acknowledge that I need the "Don't call me surely?" (not properly dictated) reference somewhere in my juvenile repertoire, but I've never sat through the whole movie and feel uncomfortable like it belongs to my dad and I shouldn't Bogart it.
Submitted by Team Valtrex
My fav:
There's been a little problem in the cockpit, and I was . . .
The cockpit--what is it?
It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now.
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"cats are pussies" -- Team Valtrex
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:27am.
nope, not doin it
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by madam s. on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:14am.
I LOVE 'that's what she said'. Use it as often as possible IRL but haven't used it here once.
Sometimes it's so hard.
*snickers*
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"cats are pussies" -- Team Valtrex
Wait, I forgot that there is one more that is regularly used, but must be credited doubly. Originally from Aliens (by Newt) but must be said in Cartman's voice from South Park:
7. "They mostly come at night..... mostly".
I swear that A) I'm not a teenaged boy, and B) that I don't watch very much television. Unfortunately that which I DO watch, I watch over and over and over and over again. Wait... like a teenaged boy, right?
Night TV!
xoxoxoxxx!
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"That's nothing, Tom Cruise has red carpet and a welcoming party in black tie in his ass." ~~ Team Valtrex, 1/2/09
Submitted by madam s. on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:14am.
you need an Airplane! reference or 2 to round it out.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by paradoxical bunny on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:21am.
nite, p-bunny!!!!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Madam.. those some goodass lines right there. No wonder yo mamma don't get it. That would bust it right off. (God love them clueless Moms)
Night bitches... this one's headed to re-connect with her k spot.. or whatever it is..
xoxox
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"That's nothing, Tom Cruise has red carpet and a welcoming party in black tie in his ass." ~~ Team Valtrex, 1/2/09
Submitted by madam s. on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 1:14am.
6. EVERYTHING said by Bruce Campbell in "Army of Darkness"
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And now I REALLY wanna hang out with you! No, really! =)
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My Favourite DListed Things!
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Team V.,
My stupid conversational media references that I use foolishly in their entirety:
1. "We're gonna need a bigger boat!" - Jaws
2. "Baby, you know it!" - Bender from Futurama when he was a pimp
3. "PRETTTTY good!" - Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm
4. "It's possible... pig" - Westley in the Princess Bride
5. "That's what she said" - (I have no idea where this is from, but use it)
6. EVERYTHING said by Bruce Campbell in "Army of Darkness"
The scary thing is that the people I hang out with accept these as normal conversational interactions.
nite, Tiger!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Night TigerLils! xoxoxxx
ps - (beware the jaws of a clown)
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"That's nothing, Tom Cruise has red carpet and a welcoming party in black tie in his ass." ~~ Team Valtrex, 1/2/09
OK whores, I love you more than I love a clean bill of health from the free clinic...
All right, I don't love you that much, but almost...I'd fuck...er, I mean tuck everyone of you useless sluts in tonight, but, well, yo' skank asses make me not really want to do that shit in reality, yeah just not into it...or your skeezer asses...
But in UNreality, I'm sooo there...singing you a lullabye...bye..bye...bye... to THE WORLD CUZ I'M GONNA EAT 'CHA!..
Nite, nite and sweet nightmares, WHORES....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
She is awesome!
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://twoliablog.com/teacups-and-couture/
Submitted by madam s. on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 12:55am.
I wait months for someone to say "Surely, you can't be serious"
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Team V.,
"We're gonna need a bigger boat!" is one of my most favorite juvenile things to say to people randomly in conversation. (Mom never appreciates it).
I have about five other movie/t.v show references that I obnoxiously overuse, but I can't stop myself.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 01/04/2009 - 12:48am.
sweet, probably a candygram!!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.