Ricky Gervais Hates Fatties
In Ricky Gervais' new comedy audiobook, he jokes that fat asses who get lipo and the gastric bypass surgery are "lazy fat pigs." Karl Lagerfeld just fell in love (see below).
Ricky said, "If your arse is too fucking fat, stop eating and go for a run." The Telegraph said Ricky was attacking overweight people. He responded to this on his own blog by saying he will never stop the fat jokes until doctors prove that being a member of the chunk club is something you're born with. Has Ricky never heard of the fat gene?! Anyway, here's what he had to say:
I heard someone on the radio once say that they were tired of the prejudice aimed at the overweight. They said something like "you're not allowed to make fun of gay people, so why are you allowed to make fun of fat people? It's the same thing."It's not the same thing though, is it? Gay people are born that way. They didn't work at becoming gay. Fat people became fat because they would rather be that way than stop eating so much. They had to eat and eat to get fat. Then, when they were fat they had to keep up the eating to stay fat. For gayness to be the same as fatness, gay people would have to start off straight but then ween themselves onto cock. Soon they're noshing all day getting gayer and gayer. They've had more than enough cock... they're full... they're just sucking for the sake of it. Now they're overgay, and frowned upon by people who can have the occasional cock but not over indulge.
When a doctor tells me that that's how you become gay, I'll stop making jokes about fat people.
"Overgay" is the story of my life. Just ask my doctor. He prescribed me a diet of less Bravo, more Spike and less cock, more Kid Rock. That last part rhymes!
Anybody who has seen Ricky's act knows that he's a fat bitch who makes fun of fat bitches and he knows it. When he makes a blubber joke, he'll follow it up with, "I'm a fatty bo batty myself..." or something like that. Because he's a plumpy himself, it's okay for him to make fun of fatties, right? Right?
And who takes him seriously anyway? He's a fucking comedian. It's just jokes! Jokes! People get are so damn oversensitive. You can't make fun of fat people, skinny bitches, gays, lezzies, straights, gingers, squirrels, ferns, etc... What else is there left to laugh at? Rocks?! Well, that includes most of Hollywood, so that settles that. We'll only make fun of fucking rocks!
ShareThis
Submitted by Tigerlilly: "I feel sorry for anorexics too, but I can't help but to wonder how many anorexics there are in countries where food is so scarce, they are eating dirt."
Oooh, another favorite topic! You guys keep bringing it, and I'm TRYING to clean the apartment today!
They probably exist, but I've never met a poor or black anorexic. Or any other ethnicity than white. I've only ever seen privileged white girls with eating disorders. Like I said, they probably exist, and I'm NOT being racist.
People who are struggling for their very existence have little time for neurosis.
Submitted by iHeartHaters: "On morbidly obese people...Someone has to be bringing them that shit since they can't walk after hitting 500 lbs or so. So why don't they target the families or whomever is living with the fat person and enabling them? Just a thought."
I always wonder that myself! There is a whole dynamic going on there. My god.
That's why the show "Ruby" (which I encourage EVERYONE to watch) is so interesting to me. Her friends are "supportive" but I can't imagine that they have always been that way. I've seen Ruby manipulate the crap out of them; she's very charming, but she knows which buttons to push, too. FASCINATING! Sometimes people like to have someone dependent on them, and "beneath" them. I've been there myself with an addict. They can guilt you like crazy.
I's a plump, delicious kitty treat myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
well said Tigerlilly.
***********************************************
Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
Overall, I do have sympathy for the overweight and obese. I have sympathy for any living thing that is truly suffering (unless they are tasty, but then, they don't suffer for long before I eat them) assuming they haven't done something to truly deserve it (murder, etc.)... BUT my sympathy has degrees. Do I feel sorry for a self loathing fat person hopelessly addicted to food and full of shame? Yes I do. But do I feel a lot sorrier for some kid starving to death in Africa ravaged with disease and suffering physically mentally and emotionally every waking moment of his doomed life? You bet. A lot. I feel sorry for anorexics too, but I can't help but to wonder how many anorexics there are in countries where food is so scarce, they are eating dirt. I don't lack compassion, but c'mon some people are far more deserving of far more compassion than others.
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
TMI moment so beware~ I pick my hubby's zits/whatever pretty much weekly. Cannot believe I told that to the www but it's out now ROTFL! Heck yeah it beats paying a dermatologist. !
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Iheart, I had to do the pillow thing between my legs. It was the only way to relieve the pressure when I slept on my side. I HATED sleeping on my side. I'm a stomach sleeper so it was pure torture when my huge whale belly slept NEXT to me. Yes, NEXT TO ME. :))
Dot,
I know the feeling, the last month was the worst. Breathing was difficult at times and I could never lay on my back or tummy(and I'm a stomach sleeper). Each pregnancy got worse too, it's not comfortable with little legs kicking your diaphragm LMAO I can't complain too much because the outcome was wonderful but damn how that last month was rough!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 4:05pm.
Sweetie, I rarely take anything here personally, and anyho, I love to make fun of myself.
As far as the blackhead thing goes...cool♥
I am so with ya there.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
If you think I'm gonna fall for this anymore
Everybody say no no no no no
lol! You guys are so mean. I seriously used to extrude the cheese from my hubby's back... When you get blackheads like that it's either the doc or the spouse. The spouse is cheaper.
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:51pm.
Fair enough, but what about medical conditions? I don't know the exact name for it, but I do know she has some issue with her female parts. I'm not female so I don't know exactly what, but it has something to do with hormones, I think, because I remember her making a joke when we were watching Alexader that she could grow a better beard than Jared Leto. I'm not saying she's in perfect health, but she is a lot happier than some of the thin, gorgeous girls and guys I know. She's accepted her reality which is something I would love to do in my own life. Knowing her has kind of opened my eyes, but it certainly hasn't made me immune from being a self-righteous bastard. Even if I was straight I'm not sure if I'd be attracted to her, but I might be because she's got an amazing outlook on life and hey, her man is hotter than a lot of my exes so it's clearly my issue and not hers.
I also noticed someone mentioned fat pets and I have a lot more experience with that than I do with human weight gain. I've fostered a lot of animals who were overweight and some of them slimmed down with a proper diet and exercise, but some, even after tons of tests and proper diet and exercise still couldn't lose the weight. I've seen them gain weight on certain medications and seen it continue even though I adjusted their diet.
I'm on two different medications for bipolar disorder, but I guess I won the genetic lottery or something because I haven't had weight gain, but I have seen others gain massive amounts of weight on medications. Maybe I got lucky because I'm more prone to mania instead of depression. I have no idea. It's a lot like sexuality, I think. So many factors go into it and I'm sure there are plenty of fat people who are just lazy and like McDonald's too much, but there are others who have a completely different set of issues. I don't think we can just assume that everyone who is overweight is like that because they want to be. And I do smoke so I'm just as likely to drop dead as anyone else.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 4:01pm.
On morbidly obese people...how can they eat so much? Someone has to be bringing them that shit since they can't walk after hitting 500 lbs or so. So why don't they target the families or whomever is living with the fat person and enabling them? Just a thought.
==============================================
They're MASTER manipulators...a trait u must have to get that big. THey'll trick fam. and friends into thniking their weight is no big deal, to get food, they'll lie cheat and steal to get food.....just like a crackhead.
~~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~
I want to rip his nuts off with my teefs, filet his penis, cook it up and feed it to him with freshly squeezed nut sauce on top! ARGGGHH!
Ah cool Mr.s K, I kinda took the sue me thing that way. It's annoying how things can get so misconstrued in text! It's a lot different than talking. Yes I would love to pick your blackheads LOL It's a dirty secret I have but I do things like that(and enjoy it!). :P
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
I was watching a special and they said for ANYONE to get up over 600 pounds, they'd have to be eating over 25,000 cal. a day and have absolutely no activity.....not even walking to the fridge or bathroom.....
~~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~
I want to rip his nuts off with my teefs, filet his penis, cook it up and feed it to him with freshly squeezed nut sauce on top! ARGGGHH!
Iheart, I remember my feet hurting and my innards feeling so squished I could hardly breathe when I was preggers. I can't imagine feeling like that 24/7! The last month was the worst...I seriously felt like I was going to 'splode. lol
On morbidly obese people...how can they eat so much? Someone has to be bringing them that shit since they can't walk after hitting 500 lbs or so. So why don't they target the families or whomever is living with the fat person and enabling them? Just a thought.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:53pm.
Um I wasn't picking at you Mrs. K.
***
If I gave you the impression that I thought you were picking at me I apologize because I didn't think you were, doll! Not at all.
But since you brought up picking...would you squeeze the blackheads on my back?
OK that was disgusting, forget I said that.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
If you think I'm gonna fall for this anymore
Everybody say no no no no no
Submitted by luscious_t on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:36pm.
soemtimes these things are not simply a quick fix of "Oh, just get off your ass and stop eating."
**************************************
I agree. It can take a long time to figure out what hole it is you're REALLY tryna fill and how to replace it with what it needs. And then after that - even just to mend the habit. If you've ALWAYS comforted yourself with food and then you figure out what it is you really want - it's still more familiar to just eat. (for instance)
♥ ThreadKilla!
My Favourite DListed Things!
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:44pm.
*****
I learned this hard way. I tend to think of dlisted as this little hidden-away vacay spot on the internets... kind of a virtual "what happens in vegas stays in vegas"...
but a few months ago I posted something here about a bitch in high school (I'll call her "Bitch") and I referred to her by name. Not long after, by sheer coincidence, my bff from high school did a search on Bitch for shits and giggles and the first return was my dlisted post about Bitch. So, now after I post something personal, about an hour later I think about the Bitch incident and I question myself.
There's a happy ending, though - my bff has since become a regular dlisted reader! ~haha He's so much like MK, though, I'm surprisd he hadn't discovered it sooner~
*****
~~not quite a Britaloonie~~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS."-ShamWow Vince
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:10pm.
All of which is tempered by environmental factors throughout life...
*
oh my ass.
does a natural environment include 1200 calorie blended coffee drinks?
***********************************
O! A NATURAL ENVIRONMENT!
Well. Humans are natural and they create these environments...so, yeah. It does.
♥ ThreadKilla!
My Favourite DListed Things!
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Hilarious coming from a fat pig like him.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:51pm.
Okay Diego, ponder this scenario.
=============================================
Dying at 70 like most smokers do is TOTALLY diff than dying at 18 if hey start smoking at 15.
And morbidly obease peeps so disgust me. Anyone ever seen that brookhaven special on discovery? everybody on that show is absolutely reprehensible...getting that fat shows a lack of some inner, good quality i think...
~~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~
I want to rip his nuts off with my teefs, filet his penis, cook it up and feed it to him with freshly squeezed nut sauce on top! ARGGGHH!
Uh so he's exactly right. Though there are people who are naturally big but they use that excuse when they're 400 pounds. I make fun of fat people on the time and then I say I'm a fatty too. We're like twins! Only he's funny.
Myspace and Last.fm
Um I wasn't picking at you Mrs. K.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by morbo on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:30pm.
A face like a cat's arse?
LMFAO!
=========================================
@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Okay Diego, ponder this scenario.
Imagine if hard drug users, alcoholics, smokers and the obese died within 2-5 years of commencing their habits?
Let us take smokers as an example. Imagine if every person who smoked half a pack a day for 2 years would die within 3 years of starting? How many people would still smoke? And you know what - if people did choose to smoke knowing they will die sooner, I say let them. Think of all the surgeries that wouldn't have to be done, all the medicines and expensive care that wouldn't have to be provided?
Same goes for the obese fatties.
Those behaviour are nothing but a death wish. Same for anorexics.
You want to die? Fine. Die. Just don't drag it out and fuck it up for the rest of us.
I want to see the money being spent on care for the self abusing being put towards those how are ill or ailing due to no fault of their own. And all the left over money being used to better the quality of life for those that CARE about the quality of life - not the death seekers.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Submitted by iHeartHaters on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:49pm.
Seriously, I have two choices. I can be fucked up in the head and thin or I can be fucked up in the head and fat.
I choose the former.
So sue me.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
If you think I'm gonna fall for this anymore
Everybody say no no no no no
Dotty, being pregnant is the funnest time to be fat!! :)
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
I miss every cigarette I could have had since I quit 3 years ago but now I just shop a lot! It's just trading one addiction for another. I think every human being has an addictive personality. As long as you have fun & don't bother anyone else doing it then go for it!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
((IHeart))
I can't judge anyone harshly over drugs/booze/food, I've either experienced it all or had it in my family so I have no room to critique. The fattest I ever got in my life (thus far) was when I was pregnant. I was HUGE. :))
Submitted by luscious_t on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:37pm.
*****edit: more poster's remorse
*****
See, this is what I am talking about. Before, if I was guilty or remorseful about something I would eat a dozen donuts and a quart of ice cream, and immediately feel self-loathing. Now, I just order a bunch of single-digit sized clothing online and I can postpone the self-loathing until the credit card bill arrives!!!
All part of the unending pageantry of life.
:)
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
If you think I'm gonna fall for this anymore
Everybody say no no no no no
I tend to blame the huge cost of insurance, Rxs, office visits and hospital stays on the AMA and the pharmaceutical indistry. Some people want to blame fat asses and smokers. I tend to study something thoroughly before being such a hateful bitch, but that's me :P
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Submitted by zomay on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:11pm.
I knew from birth (actually in the womb) that I was sexually attracted to myself. Don't hate me for my courage and honesty.
-
LMAO! Me three! Me three! :))
hahaha - somehow I knew everyone would say yes. :)
No, I sincerely am happy for you - and yes, it sounds like you've been able to make appropriate choices. I know this reads as condescending but please don't read it with that tone. I REALLY am happy for you and I believe you and all. I know where y'all are coming from.
*****edit: more poster's remorse
*****
~~not quite a Britaloonie~~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS."-ShamWow Vince
I'm really happy for your accomplishments, but if being thin and shopping at Express are the orgasmic end-all be-alls of life, have you *really* fixed the food relationship/psychology?
Not being a bitch, just sincerely asking. soemtimes these things are not simply a quick fix of "Oh, just get off your ass and stop eating."
Some of you people would show more sympathy/empathy to a 3 pack a day smoker with lung cancer, it would seem.
Nobody lives a perfect life & some of our choices may have poor consequences, but damn - we're all just people---even fatties & smokers.
As for the comedy - every comedian pokes fun of somebody or some group of somebodies. It's pretty funny until it's a group *you* belong to. That's the reality. I find myself just as guilty. I usually try to see things as a joke - with one exception being that Dennis Leary Autism bullshit - simply because it is SO fucking difficult to get mental health disorders accepted and his bs jokes were of the mentality the mental health coommunity has been fighting for decades.
*****edited to take out personal shit after having a bout of poster's regret
*****
~~not quite a Britaloonie~~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS."-ShamWow Vince
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:32pm.
You're about as charming as a piece of dried dog shit. But you just proved my point. She's a lot happier than you obviously are so believe whatever you want, but wishing death on people you don't know hardly qualifies you as a decent person with an opinion worth taking into consideration.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
Hey Diego, will your fatty friend still be batshit happy gasping for breath after her third heart attack?
Will she be giggling like a child as they saw off her leg due to diabetes?
Part of me wishes people with self destructive behaviours like drug, alcohol abuse and food abuse would die quicker and in a manner that wasn't so expensive for the rest of us. Then I'd say have at it. Fuck, I'd even bake them a cheesecake with whipped cream to dispatch them quicker.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Oooh another controversial topic! Big whoop. Eat whatever the fuck you want & if your pants get too tight, exercise more. Fuck it.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
With man-titties like that - not to mention a face like a cat's arse - HE's got nerve.
Boring, tired old comedian who's started to believe his own press.
------------------
Kittens give Morbo gas.
Can we rip into people who have fat pets next?
I'm just getting warmed up.
And yes ziggy, yes I would tell a anorexic to eat a sandwich.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Personally, I don't think I'd be happy if I was fat, but I do know a lot of people who are overweight and happy as fuck. I have two close friends who are at both ends of this spectrum. One is a big girl, probably about 250 pounds, and she is the happiest, well adjusted person I know. She has a steady relationship, a job she loves and she's just awesome to be around and she couldn't care less if someone thinks she's too fat. On the other side, one of my absolute best friends is thin and beautiful, but she's batshit miserable. Say what you want, but it ain't the big girl who spent 10 grand on a nursery for a chihuahua, takes her weight in 'happy' pills every day and obsessses over every single thing she puts in her mouth.
"I love my tail in these jeans!"
TITS, I was not in the womb, I was delivered in a pod from planet vageen. There are many here. Are you left handed? I am and that is one clue to the pod people.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ziggy: oops, forgot to post the link. Duh.
http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp
Ok, I'm gonna quit this bitch and get something to eat. Then I'm going to have gay sex.
*****
~~not quite a Britaloonie~~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS."-ShamWow Vince
being so perfect must be so great
*****
~~not quite a Britaloonie~~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS."-ShamWow Vince
Once again, I never denied that there is a predisposition to homosexuality.
However, without experience to guide their expression, these genes are worthless chemicals. Consider the failure to find complete concordnce among monozygotic twins in research.
Claiming that a child is born gay is to fall entirely on the 'nature' side of the debate. I find myself somewhere in the middle.
=========================================
@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
look away
nothing to see here.
Submitted by zomay on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:09pm.
I knew from birth (actually in the womb) that I was sexually atracted to myself.
*
so those unborn 'kicks' to the mother belly...? that's really the baby blowing a load?
That's adorable!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Submitted by luscious_t on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 3:03pm.
HAHAHHAHA
I know I am NEVER going to be an real dyed in the wool normal eater; the best I can do is get up everyday and say "Today I will behave as if I am a normal eater."
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
If you think I'm gonna fall for this anymore
Everybody say no no no no no
Mrs K-
I get ya. And yes, even when i was a buck & a quarter, I was and will always be all tits, ass, hips, and thighs. No matter how little I eat, my particular body type will never look like a Rachel Zoe clone. I'm also white as death... which means I should have lived a hundred yrs ago or more. Totes born in the wrong century to be loved for my body.
*****
~~not quite a Britaloonie~~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS."-ShamWow Vince