Karl Lagerfeld Hates Fatties (And Animals)
Reading Karl Lagerfeld hating on fatties made me remember when he used to be a BBWHZ (big busted white haired zombie) himself! This is when he used to eat regular human food instead of the fallen locks of emaciated models. This is also when he used to smile with his mouth! I don't think Karl has smiled since the early 90s. He doesn't smile now, because that's something "only ze fat jalli pepull do." I miss fat Karl, but skeleton Karl is just as entertaining.
Our Uncle Karl was kind enough to crawl out of his tomb and give an interview to the Telegraph about his love of fur and his hate of fat chicks. First up, Karl responded to the fashion industry being criticized for using skinny malnourished bitches on the runway. Karl said the number of size 000 models pales in comparison to the "zillions" of fat bitches who roam the land eating everything in sight.
Please read the next quote with a French accent and picture Karl furiously fanning himself. I think if he ever stops fanning himself, his skin will gracefully fall off his bones. Karl said, "In France there are, I think, less than one per cent of people who are too skinny. There are nearly 30 per cent of young people who are too fat. So let's take care of the zillions of the too fat before we talk about the percentage that's left."
Uncle Karl didn't stop there! He also thinks that if we didn't kill ze animals, they'd kill us! He defended the fur industry by saying many hunters make their living and support their families by killing furry creatures so that he can lay his naked bones all over a luscious mink throw. He said, "Killing those beasts who would kill us if they could." He said that whenever possible, the animals should be killed "nicely."
Karl himself hardly ever eats meat! Mostly because it's physically impossible for him to chew on that shit without his jaw falling off. His slaves have to blend down his filet mignon and serve it to him with a straw. Karl said, "In a meat-eating world, wearing leather for shoes and clothes and even handbags, the discussion of fur is childish."
Karl is right. When I was little, I had this pet bunny that was always winking at me. Evil winks! If I didn't keep him in a cage all the time, he probably would have tore out my eyeballs and used them to juggle with. And he'd wink at me the whole time knowing very well that I couldn't see a little bunny juggling eyeballs. Pure evil! So we must butcher those beasts before they murder us all! I mean, the bunny wouldn't stop winking at me!
And you know that at this very moment Karl is down in his dungeon trying to find a way for fat bitches to grow mink hair. Two birds....
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Submitted by lizardbits1 on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:51pm.
I agree completely, but didnt mention it since they're not taxing it (though they should tax that crap too). Aspartame (the sweetener in diet soda) is pretty much poison (it can actually make u go insane if u have enough) and the only reason its on the market is cuz the fuckers that make it pay off the FDA. Our government is for the most part bullshit, but i wholeheartedly agree with the fat tax.
P.S. As a girl renting in NYC, water is free for me. And I drink water and green tea, none of that soda crap!
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mawy - "I find it dumb that here in New York, where there's a huge deficit, people are complaining about the proposed fat tax (where things like non-diet soda would be taxed). I say, why not?"
Because I don't want to give the government the authority to punish me for what I eat or drink. The concept of personal responsiblity and freedom in this country appears to be dead. Do we really want the government in every nook and cranny of our lives...down to what sort of soda we drink?
Let us all NOT EAT!!!
He looks so much better skinny though, and that is saying a lot. Notice the smile on the fat picture? Reformed fatties are always mad because they had to cut out all the stuff they loved. Every day they live a life of control!
Hekki--Unfortch, I have a love/hate relationship with this place!!!!
♥♥♥♥
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If you think I'm gonna fall for this anymore
Everybody say no no no no no
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:58pm.
I never meant to imply that you inferred that, doll!!! HAHAHAHA.
I did not take it personally at all!
Believe me, as a reformed smoker, reformed fatty, reformed 2-dollar whore and a recovering attention whore I know all about it!
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If you think I'm gonna fall for this anymore
Everybody say no no no no no
water is not free, you pay for water, it's usually snuck in your garbage bill if you aren't paying an actual water bill in your area, or in your rent.
ain't shit free.
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"Hasta la bye bye!"
Hi, Mrs. Kravitz! Long time no see. Miss your wittiness.
German, French...it doesn't matter. I heard he was from Camden, N.J. and the accent is a fraud anyway. Go figure.
Madame Tousand will have no trouble with this one...
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:54pm.
I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I should have said reformed fatties to want to cure all the remaining fatties are a pain in the ass.
My sort-ex has a cousin who lost 40 pounds who thinks it's her life's goal to save the rest of the earth's fatties.
Karl needs to look in a real mirror before he makes snarky remarks about anyone. The man is a fucking horrorshow on legs with a couple of used brillo pads on top of his skull for hair.
Fat or thin he was a toad looking mofo
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:52pm.
SHHHH! Do not mention She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or else her minions will overrun us... again... talk in code or something... Who knows... they may be among us as we speak... *side eyes everybody*
On topic... still rocking the black'n'white thing.
If Ms. Largerfeld were to smile, her yellow rotten teeth would fall out! STFU Ms. Largerfeld!
I am not a fatty and never have been. I detest people who take it upon themselves to be the judge everyone.
I think he does make a point. Overweight, fat and obese people need to lose weight. Simple as that. Im not advocating becoming a stick thin figure, but they are as bad as those anorexic/bulimics out there.
I am a reformed fatty, but I try not to be a pain in the ass about it.
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If you think I'm gonna fall for this anymore
Everybody say no no no no no
Gonnaburn they sound great! I will check them out, thanks for the tip. :)
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:46pm.
Reformed ANYTHINGS are a pain in the ass!!!!!
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Very true.
Submitted by Aphid on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:48pm
A gal who was struck by lightening as a teen can find dead bodies and detect cause of death. Darker than the Sookie Stackhouse books, but pretty entertaining.
Submitted by onthebrink on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:19pm.
Oooo...that is a good Paris story.
Blindgossip.com has a not-so-blind item about a DA looking into jurisdiction regarding a celeb kid who passed away and was denied proper medical care.
Submitted by Mawy on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:37pm.
Nothing wrong taxing non-diet soda, except that it's not good either. Mrs. K was right about that diet soda makes you GAIN weight and not lose it. And those who are allergic to diet shit? And those who just gag at the thought of diet soda (raises hand)? It's bullshit. Tax all soda or don't tax at all. Bloomberg is just trying to turn rough and tumble NYC to squeaky clean SanFran where it is LAW to walk your dog everyday. (Nothing wrong with walking your dog, but isn't it a little Big Brother-ish?)
On topic: He's a hot slut and I'm always drawn to the guy like a moth to a lightbulb... I would totally wear his MIB/Chinese Concubine look.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:46pm.
Mrs. K- I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Jesus Christ... As a former crack whore, the transforming power of Jesus changed my life. Now I just do pills. ***I think those are the worst***
Gonnaburn, what are those about? The Slaughter books are crime fiction about a medical examiner and her police chief husband solving crimes in the South.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:44pm.
Amen!! Reformed fatties are a pain in the ass.
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Reformed ANYTHINGS are a pain in the ass!!!!!
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Aphid- I'll have to check those out. I just finished Harris' Harper Conolley (sp) series. Not too bad.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:43pm.
Due to stricter gun laws, roving chinchillas have practically taken over my town.
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Guns don't kill people, chinchillas do!
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:42pm.
Hi Aphid! Read or see anything good lately?
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Currently reading Karin Slaughter's books. They are SO graphic but good!
Submitted by Miss Thang on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:27pm.
Gawd, It's always the ex-fatties who r bitching at us current fatties. F U, Karl!
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Amen!! Reformed fatties are a pain in the ass.
I highly doubt Karl lost the weight by eating less and exercising more...if you get my drift *coughcoughbariatricsurgerycoughcough*
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
Due to stricter gun laws, roving chinchillas have practically taken over my town.
I liked him better when he was fat and jolly.
What he gained in health, he lost in personality.
Well..he IS a Virgo. (not to mention, German).
And Virgos are uber-critical. of everything!. (perfectionists).
I'm both, and know whereof I speak LOL.
Since he lost all that weight, he always looks like Max Headroom to me, with those shades.
Kind of going overboard on the aesthetics, but I can understand, a little bit.
Hi Aphid! Read or see anything good lately?
Mawy--Good point, however, soda sucks whether it's sugar free or not AND additionally...
Epidemiologist Sharon Fowler, from the University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio, presented research data on soda consumption to the American Diabetes Association.
"What we saw was that the more diet sodas a person drinks, the more weight they were likely to gain," she says.
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Jimmy Mack, when are you coming back?
The lack of food has made this man more batshit than he ever was. What a buffoon!
Those skin folds (as a result of all that weight loss) must be covering a whole lot of the rest of his ugly. Me no like him. Walking corpse.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Leandra on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:33pm.
Isn't he German? Why would we be reading his quotes in a French accent? Hehe.
To paraphrase Eddie Izzard, Karl is from everywhere!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Hey Karl- Maybe a hot oil treatment isn't the WRONG answer.
Isn't he German? Why would we be reading his quotes in a French accent? Hehe.
hahahaha! I love this post! I'm sorry, but he has a point about obesity. It's is a huge problem. I find it dumb that here in New York, where there's a huge deficit, people are complaining about the proposed fat tax (where things like non-diet soda would be taxed). I say, why not? Obesity related health problems cost the government millions. Kill two birds with one stone - reduce the problem by taxing soda, making less people want to buy it (which people should not be drinking on a daily basis anyway) and earn money to pay for all those obesity related health problems. By the way, water is free. I bought a $25 Brita filter and enjoy FREE water everyday. I drink soda less than once a month (at parties and whatnot) and NEVER buy it, and I'm 100 lbs. It's possible, people!
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I'm supposed to look at him and actually take seriously his thoughts on how people should look?
Yeah, sure Karl, whatever you say.
Gawd, It's always the ex-fatties who r bitching at us current fatties. F U, Karl!
"I get the jaw jowls... But, what is with the chin jowls? That is just too weird. He needs a chin lift desperately! LOL! And what is with the nasty hair sticking straight up? He needs a hot oil treatment desperately, too! LOL!"
I think you mean a hot wax treatment.
Understand, he comes from a very cold planet where everything is made of wax. This is why he is always melting and must fan himself constantly.
Just fill in the cracks with hot wax then get out the sculpting tools and smudge his face back up. Easy, peasy.
I get the jaw jowls... But, what is with the chin jowls? That is just too weird. He needs a chin lift desperately! LOL! And what is with the nasty hair sticking straight up? He needs a hot oil treatment desperately, too! LOL!
Gawd, can you imagine his skinny wrinkled junk?
He may be a genius but he looks like hell nowadays. Speaking of skinny bitches, CDAN has some interesting gossip today about the skinny wonk-eyed virus down in Australia. Made me laugh but it won't make news up here for shame.
Submitted by flossyb on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 12:17pm.
That does it! I'm putting on my parka, toque,muck-lucks and beaver tooth talisman and I'm gonna club me some baby seals!
Just remember to club them "nicely".
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
That's one way to get people talking about you for a quick moment.
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That does it! I'm putting on my parka, toque,muck-lucks and beaver tooth talisman and I'm gonna club me some baby seals!
I imagine Lagerfeld dreams of watching cage fights between rabid, flesh-eating seal cubs and cupcake-eating chubby girls while fanning himself on the sidelines.