Karl Lagerfeld Hates Fatties (And Animals)
Reading Karl Lagerfeld hating on fatties made me remember when he used to be a BBWHZ (big busted white haired zombie) himself! This is when he used to eat regular human food instead of the fallen locks of emaciated models. This is also when he used to smile with his mouth! I don't think Karl has smiled since the early 90s. He doesn't smile now, because that's something "only ze fat jalli pepull do." I miss fat Karl, but skeleton Karl is just as entertaining.
Our Uncle Karl was kind enough to crawl out of his tomb and give an interview to the Telegraph about his love of fur and his hate of fat chicks. First up, Karl responded to the fashion industry being criticized for using skinny malnourished bitches on the runway. Karl said the number of size 000 models pales in comparison to the "zillions" of fat bitches who roam the land eating everything in sight.
Please read the next quote with a French accent and picture Karl furiously fanning himself. I think if he ever stops fanning himself, his skin will gracefully fall off his bones. Karl said, "In France there are, I think, less than one per cent of people who are too skinny. There are nearly 30 per cent of young people who are too fat. So let's take care of the zillions of the too fat before we talk about the percentage that's left."
Uncle Karl didn't stop there! He also thinks that if we didn't kill ze animals, they'd kill us! He defended the fur industry by saying many hunters make their living and support their families by killing furry creatures so that he can lay his naked bones all over a luscious mink throw. He said, "Killing those beasts who would kill us if they could." He said that whenever possible, the animals should be killed "nicely."
Karl himself hardly ever eats meat! Mostly because it's physically impossible for him to chew on that shit without his jaw falling off. His slaves have to blend down his filet mignon and serve it to him with a straw. Karl said, "In a meat-eating world, wearing leather for shoes and clothes and even handbags, the discussion of fur is childish."
Karl is right. When I was little, I had this pet bunny that was always winking at me. Evil winks! If I didn't keep him in a cage all the time, he probably would have tore out my eyeballs and used them to juggle with. And he'd wink at me the whole time knowing very well that I couldn't see a little bunny juggling eyeballs. Pure evil! So we must butcher those beasts before they murder us all! I mean, the bunny wouldn't stop winking at me!
And you know that at this very moment Karl is down in his dungeon trying to find a way for fat bitches to grow mink hair. Two birds....
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I didn't know Karl was normal..I mean fat
hey michael, was ur bunny like Bunnicula? do u remember that book series? it was about a vampire bunny, hilarious! now all kids have to read is harry potter, ah well
He's just angry cause he's hungry.
Quick, someone get this man a cheeseburger, he's starving!
Oh Michael K! I love you!
I actually thought that was Al Franken in a Karl Lagerfeld costume in the first pic. For reals.
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MK thinks my baby is cute.
With all that money and "class," you'd think this French bulldog could buy a fucking comb.
Va te faire foutre, Monsier Lagerfeld!
Like Wilson in "Home Improvement," Karl needs to use that fan all the time.
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Wow, this is graphic.
Lagerfeld is a genius!
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The line between sex and society is so fine and blurred... even Amy Winehouse wouldn't snort it.
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I guess when you're 100 years old carrying around a Japanese fan to cool yourself is something you finally realize looks ridiculous. Ah, youth.
I initially thought that was Ozzy Osbourne in the pic on the left.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by . on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 9:03pm.
No fat person ever ran into me and nearly killed me in the dairy section.
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HA!!! And right on. I also had the pleasure of being hit by an uninsured drunk driver. I wasn't hurt, but my poor mother was and now she's fighting with her insurance company over a slipped disc in her neck.
You're absolutely right about fat people being at a disadvantage because their "bad" behavior is readily apparent in a way that is not as apparent with drunks/druggies, etc. They're at a further disadvantage because unlike drugs and drink, we all need food to survive. I never understood why it's so acceptable to slag on fat people. Shunning them isn't going to make them skinny and the 'Oh, but I'm so concerned for their health' is disingenuous. LEAVE THE FATTIES ALONE!!!
And this is coming from a skinny person.
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I wish it was like the 70's and it was still ok to kick someone's ass. Damn
He had a facelift go wrong, hence the immensely high collars all the time now.
http://www.wmagazine.com/images/fashion/2007/10/faar_karl_lagerfeld_coll...
Pre-Brillo hair!
Haha - I love how the people who are the most pissed about fur are the same people who would want the fatties and rexies to die.
Oh the humanity...
*****
~~not quite a Britaloonie~~
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"YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS."-ShamWow Vince
R.O.F.L.M.A..O it's ovah! ...too fucking much.
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Wendy? Darling? LIGHT OF MY LIFE.
He is so capable, and I like him very much, I have seen him on Meetwealthy. com. I also met a lot of wealthy singles and celebs here. I am so lucky.
When I was little, I had this pet bunny that was always winking at me. Evil winks! If I didn't keep him in a cage all the time, he probably would have tore out my eyeballs and used them to juggle with. And he'd wink at me the whole time knowing very well that I couldn't see a little bunny juggling eyeballs. Pure evil! So we must butcher those beasts before they murder us all! I mean, the bunny wouldn't stop winking at me!
Michael, this made me laugh so hard I nearly threw up. Heh heh heh, Jesus. I hope you're compiling all these heartwarming childhood tales for a book which will sell more copies than Twilight, mainly because it's about 100 times funnier and more intelligent. ::wipes eyes:: I can't wait to see the film adaptation.
literarylioness,
My Mom and Sister took a trip to France. Here's their take:
My mom felt like the ONLY fatty there and most of the skinny, young women were hooked up with fugly old men. My mom has been known to 'embellish' though...considering she's a COW, I'm sure any girl who's even normal weight is a skinny bitch to her.
-But yeah, the French are full of it. If I ate that much cheese I'd never leave the damned toilet.
Edited because I don't use the 'preview comment' thingy and fix my gd spelling first.
Iheart,
Totally off topic but I still have some of your chocolates from last Xmas. I have them saved in one of my lock-n-locks and they are still tasty too! :))
Submitted by . on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 9:03pm.
No fat person ever ran into me and nearly killed me in the dairy section.
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LMMFAOOOOOOOOOO!!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
Karl's super batty, but he's right about France! There are fat people in France even though some dumb bitch wrote a book saying there weren't. Remember the book about how to eat like a French woman? Eat whatever you want, but just take small bites? What hogwash was that? Karl is a nut, but at least he isn't lying about how fat the French are getting.
Cringe,
How about the uninsured drunk drivers?
Ever been hit full-on by one? Not fun. I've been there. Done that. No fat person ever ran into me and nearly killed me in the dairy section. Fat people are usually shy and embarrassed and yes, ashamed... There ARE the ones who have a grocery cart filled with vile, nasty, fattening shit but not ALL of them. I don't see the need to hate on people who struggle with their weight issues? I freak out if I gain just a couple of pounds and I instantly cut back my calorie intake when that happens. Obesity doesn't happen overnight...that's a given...but bad habits be them drugs/booze/food whatever are just that...bad habits. It's just obese people wear their shame for the world to see. A coke-head can hid their habit. An obese person can't find a tent big enough to hide theirs no matter how good Omar the Muumuu maker is.
Submitted by rotten_egg on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 2:34pm.
Anyway, let the anorexics kill themselves and the fatties too. We all have choices, some people just take the worst of them all.
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Yeah but the fatties cost the health system and therefore the tax payer a fortune when their body parts start falling off through diabetes etc. I just don't understand how anyone could stand to be fat period!
Yummy, mink!!!!!!
www.MakeMineMink.com
The best mink recipe website out there!
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If you think I'm gonna fall for this anymore
Everybody say no no no no no
Lagerfeld is right about the fat people- why ARE we focusing on the models when real people are the ones who can't control the mouth-stuffing?
Also, do people eat the meat from minks? If so, then it would be NO DIFFERENT from eating beef and chicken.
If one can survive without both meat and fur, killing for the latter doesn't make you more evil than everyone else who indirectly kills (i.e. eats) meat.
Let's worry about starving, homeless people too, eh?
witch-haired wax butthole doesn't have room to judge others
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He is a douche
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Are we sure he is alive? I mean, I know he was alive in his Elton John era (left pic), but now? he looks like a cadaver.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 4:23pm.
I can't hate on KL, but his hair looks like upholstery stuffing.
why not!? what else do you need to make you hate the big busted white haired zombie?! isn't hatred towards animals enough?! okay, i guess not everyone loves animals. :(
Bitch looks JUST LIKE the Donatella in a bikini!
ROTFLMAO@ big busted white haired zombie. I totally want that shit in t-shirt form!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
I can't hate on KL, but his hair looks like upholstery stuffing.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
god, what an uptight asshat! the fanning doesn't help him either.
Fashion people live in their own world, he has no clue what an ass he made of himself. I agree he should be put in a cage, tortured and then skinned so he can know what those animals go through.
That being said, shouldn't spaghetti cat be on top of his head enjoying those delicious noodles?
I'll agree with him that people should worry about the massive obesity problem before getting upset about a few dozen models who are too thin. But since he defended the fur industry, he needs to be put in a small wire cage for a year and then be butchered for his fine leather hide. It looks like it would make a lovely handbag.
I thought he was dead
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
AAAAAAAHHHH!!! I had no idea he used to look like that in the 90s. I was too young to know that.
What's Dorothy Zbornak doing with that fan?
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I’ve turned from an ordinary Australian housewife into a gigastar, icon, talk-show host, swami, spin doctor… and now I’m a style guru!
Doesn't he know that the fur he gets is farmed, not hunted? Oh, and the chances of me being mauled by a mink, leopard, et al in freezing Chicago is nonexistent.
What an ignoramus.
I refuse to listen or read this dumbfuck ignorant gay fashion designer. His comment about "Killing those beasts who would kill us if they could" makes me want to rip that dead wig off his corpse head and stuff it up his emanciated ass. What a stupid crap to say, but ok I should not expect great general knowledge from this little old man.
Anyway, let the anorexics kill themselves and the fatties too. We all have choices, some people just take the worst of them all.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
Lagerfeld Paris smells like the inside of a doss house toilet.
The end.
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Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
why would he talk in an french accent if he's german :D
Karl is one of the people you just tune out whatever he says because he's a super batty. You just enjoy his creations without hearing him. He's like the neighborhood elderly dude that orders the same exact thing everyday, but doesn't eat a thing.
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://twoliablog.com/teacups-and-couture/
OMG, SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU STUPID COW!
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@ZiggyStardust:
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!- angel_i
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 1:48pm.
You're not hurting anybody by having a burger once in a while, and if you do it once in a while, a small tax won't hurt you, either. But this small tax might make people think twice if they eat the stuff on a daily basis.
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"the discussion of fur is childish."
Uhm, no it isn't. You are a greedy rich bitch who wont give a shit about anything as long as you get the money. Dear Karl, fuck you.
He's doing us a favor by not smiling I take it. Smoking fucks up your teeth big time! Anywho, I'd rather be a fattie than a zombie!
http://ginarivera.typepad.com/ginasrant/
Submitted by Mawy on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 1:41pm.
*again shrugs* Just sayin'. Smoke freeness is justifiable because it is taking the freedom of clean air from other people, it's true that we're not taking away the right to smoke, just the fact that they can't smoke in certain places. I'm not promoting smoking in bars and restaurants. Just pointing out what we have laws for. (I was hella surprised when the chick lit up in the restaurant. I seriously thought something was on fire... ah, the Midwest)
But who am I hurting for having a cheeseburger? Myself. Perhaps my cats. And I'm not fat. Nowhere near obese. I'm heavy, but tall and I'm not obsessed. Give me my right to do what I want if it doesn't hurt anybody else.
Did you check out the article? Do you drive? I sure as hell don't, but thought the info would be handy to those who did own a car. Paying $50 is better than $115, no?
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 1:37pm.
Oh, yes, I miss having people blow their nasty, smoky air around the restaurants in my city. Because along with being obese, I also want to breathe in other people's nasty second hand smoke. How about this: If you want to smoke while you're in a restaurant, GO OUTSIDE! Is that so terrible?
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Submitted by Mawy on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 1:31pm.
*shrugs* ah, free water... haven't looked at your NYC income taxes recently have you? But not trying to start anything. I just came back from Michigan and they're still allowed to smoke in restaurants, eat whatever they want, ect. I don't know... I just don't like people penalizing me for doing what I choose to do.
PS, did you know that you can fight parking tickets for a huge discount? Word to the NYCers in the room!
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/02/nyregion/02parking.html?em
Submitted by LizzyB on Sat, 01/03/2009 - 1:30pm.
I'm just sayin, if they're going to tax something, they might as well tax that. Apparently, lots of people can't take care of themselves properly if they're getting so obese. I say it's a great incentive to get people to eat at least a little better. Though what they really should do is make refined sugar and high fructose corn syrup illegal, though that will never happen. Brown sugar is so much healthier AND tastes better!
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