Friday, January 2nd 2009
The "Over The Moon" Watch
Here is case #3,457,485 of a bitch using the phrase "over the moon" to describe a new part of their life. It's my duty to keep track of this kind of overused fuckery.
This one comes from Sarah Palin. She issued this statement yesterday about the birth of her new grandkiddie Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston: "We are over the moon with the arrival of this healthy, beautiful baby. The road ahead for this young couple will not be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy."
Wait. If this came from Sarah Plain, shouldn't they be "over the dead moose"?
Thanks Michael
ShareThis
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:10pm.
I'd share Aretha's cheeseburger recipe, but where would you ever find 400 cows and a bun the size of Dover, DE? God! The cowmanity!!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:09pm.
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IG...Bwahahahahaha. ♥♥♥
One right back atcha'!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVj3KiQcMtM
Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:08pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:01pm.
...angel, she was not there for the fish....she had some other problem which I have since forgot...we just found the fish during her exam...apparently she never smelled anything foul...people are dirty bastards like you cannot believe...
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That has got to be one of the NASTIEST things I've ever heard. How do you not know if there is a FISH on you OWN body??? WTF is wrong with people?!? ACK!
PS. Thanks, Mani! I'm glad you like it. It always makes me a little nervous putting it out there like that;p But just a little. I can beat a bitch down if I have to... LOL! But I'd rather that you guys actually like them...
♥ ThreadKilla!
My Favourite DListed Things!
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Submitted by No Words on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:11pm.
Completely off topic, but...
That picture of Brad and Skankalina on the side is pissing me off like you wouldn't believe. She has that smug little smirk on her face and I just want to beat the holy shit out of her.
And Brad looks like a testicle-less dumbass.
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It's times like this that I'm glad I'm using Firefox with the Adblock thingy. They make me feel violent too.
Is it true that John Travoltas son die?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Nitwitty,
Hmmm... so you're "anal about your toothbrush" huh? Sounds exactly like the problem many of these emergency room people have.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:05pm.
@ Angel_I
Also TL - I would love to join your church except all these words...too many words...Religions make my eyes cross and my head hurt...even this most excellent one...
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Meh, then we won't have no words...Just lots of booze and sex and drugs and booze and sex and drugs and spa treatments...
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I'm in! YAY!
♥ ThreadKilla!
My Favourite DListed Things!
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Completely off topic, but...
That picture of Brad and Skankalina on the side is pissing me off like you wouldn't believe. She has that smug little smirk on her face and I just want to beat the holy shit out of her.
And Brad looks like a testicle-less dumbass.
*rant over*
Team V.,
Just the phrase "Aretha's Home-Made Seafood Salad" can ensure one's lifelong commitment to vegetarianism.
mahaatma,
Aretha it is. Also, it was a school of fish, 4 sea anemones, and a rare squid not seen in over 60 years thought to be extinct.
Nitty!!! Down under? This one's for you. ♥♥♥
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNT7uZf7lew
Say did devil girl tell us any more of her stories?
They rival MK's for shits and giggles.
Come OOOoon DG tell us a stoooory!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Thankfully the dinosaurs didn't have a space program.
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:01pm.
...angel, she was not there for the fish....she had some other problem which I have since forgot...we just found the fish during her exam...apparently she never smelled anything foul...people are dirty bastards like you cannot believe...
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...so I have a moat with gators, a drawbridge, and no friends....I drink, smoke pot and like pills.... there is a name for people like me - Dlister is one of them...recluse may be another...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:00pm.
Squeeeeee...OMG...Seriously, Tigerlilly. Did he/she ever find out how it got there? Pissed off player from the opposing team? OMG...I know I shouldn't be..but LMAO!!!!!
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Ok, now that's some funny shit! I just assumed kinky sex but what do I know...
There was also lost toof brushes up a 'giney...Yeah, um...
And a LIGHT BULB up a dude's ass...
Now I didn't see the Xrays of either of these but after seeing the Xray of a trophy up a dude's ass, I'll believe these things happened as well...
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Seriously, all I saw was some pissed off soccer player shoving a trophy up someone's ass and yelling, "Who's Number One Now, Bitch?"
Ugh...I'm anal about the teefbrush so please..please don't tell me they were used down under...*flail*
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:01pm.
Angel, I just watched your new vid, nice!
Great singing too.
On Topic: Is there such a thing?
Fat fish lady gross.
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@ Angel_I
Also TL - I would love to join your church except all these words...too many words...Religions make my eyes cross and my head hurt...even this most excellent one...
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Meh, then we won't have no words...Just lots of booze and sex and drugs and booze and sex and drugs and spa treatments...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:54pm.
...she looked very much like Aretha come to think of it... let's embelish like Sandra Lee and tell MK it was her...
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...so I have a moat with gators, a drawbridge, and no friends....I drink, smoke pot and like pills.... there is a name for people like me - Dlister is one of them...recluse may be another...
Submitted by r5bales on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:00pm.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28472480/
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:00pm.
That's nothing, Tom Cruise has red carpet and a welcoming party in black tie in his ass.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
@ Tigger--
Bring it.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:56pm.
Ooooh, I also heard an even more disgusting story that gives me the willies....
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:54pm.
Aretha could trap a dolphin in her bosom. Matter of fact, if you have 37 dolphins, a swimming pool, some cilantro, and 4000 pounds of mayonnaise, you have her seafood salad recipe.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
@maahatma:
So why emergency? Was she worried about the smell...? That's one weirdass story, dude.
Also TL - I would love to join your church except all these words...too many words...Religions make my eyes cross and my head hurt...even this most excellent one...
♥ ThreadKilla!
My Favourite DListed Things!
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Jett Travolta's death.. Where is the information?
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:54pm.
Ahahaha!! It would have to be a trapped SCHOOL of fish in that case. FRIED fish.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Submitted by NitWitty on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:51pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:46pm.
A freind of mind worked in an emergency room and there was a dude who had to have a trophy removed from his ass. Well, my friend saved the X-ray and all I can say is :-O...Anyway, so my friend was there post op when the doc walks in to check on the patient. The doc says, "How's it goin' Champ?" True story....
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Squeeeeee...OMG...Seriously, Tigerlilly. Did he/she ever find out how it got there? Pissed off player from the opposing team? OMG...I know I shouldn't be..but LMAO!!!!!
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Ok, now that's some funny shit! I just assumed kinky sex but what do I know...
There was also lost toof brushes up a 'giney...Yeah, um...
And a LIGHT BULB up a dude's ass...
Now I didn't see the Xrays of either of these but after seeing the Xray of a trophy up a dude's ass, I'll believe these things happened as well...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
oops.
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:46pm.10:46pm.
mahaatma,
Ahhahaha! Come on! Explain yourself. Like a whole fish with the head still on straight from the ocean that got trapped while she swam? Or like a grilled or baked filet? And HOW DID IT GET THERE? And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?
For some reason I just know it wasn't something nice like swordfish. I bet it was haddock.
I really need some answers.
=================================================== ...yes Madam, it was a whole fish, head and all.....apparently this VERY LARGE woman went swimming and the water floated her big bazooms up and some poor unsuspecting fish swam under as she raised out of the water and bingo, he was a goner... she apparently, never picked up and moved these gigantic tities to wash underneath, hence, our dead fish find....amazing, huh?...
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...so I have a moat with gators, a drawbridge, and no friends....I drink, smoke pot and like pills.... there is a name for people like me - Dlister is one of them...recluse may be another...
Monsignora Momus hereby declares January 2, 2009, as a High Holey Day in the Church of the Dlisted Sluts.
Let the personal debauchery cummence immediately!
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Date: Sun, 30 Jun 1996 01:00:48 -0700
From: XXXX XXXXX
To: cynsa@well.com
Subject: another good story...
I worked for three years as a an emergency medical technician on the San Francisco Peninsula. A favorite call story involves being called code-3 to a residence by county communications for a 32 year old male. When the team arrived at the residence, they found the man on the toilet wincing with pain and telling them that he had done something "really stupid." On examination, the team found that the man had a frozen fish up his ass. The man had inserted the fish, head-first up his rectum from out of the freezer. After two or three "strokes," as he put it, it thawed out enough that the dorsal fin extended, making removal next to impossible. When the patient looked at them in anguish, my friend could not contain it - "sir," he said: "You really should chew your food a little better!" He said the patient winced and laughed with them.
http://www.well.com/user/cynsa/carrot.html
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
i hate that fucking statement as well. it is a canned response from publicists.
i also cannot stand:
"this is a private matter..."
"...we remain good friends"
and
"thank you for respecting our privacy at this time"
just dish, cuz michael k is gonna find out anyway!
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:51pm.
Tigerlilly,
Jolie totally put her Oscar for "Girl Interrupted" up Brad's ass, didn't she?? You can tell us.
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Oh wouldn't it be loverly....?
Nah, this shit happened ages ago, but it was one of those three pronged trophies? Yeah, I didn't understand how that could get up a bitch's ass, but it did...and had to be surgically removed...I dunno...
Ooooh, I also heard an even more disgusting story that gives me the willies....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:51pm.
Tigerlilly,
Jolie totally put her Oscar for "Girl Interrupted" up Brad's ass, didn't she?? You can tell us.
.....
*curiosity peaked*
Where's James Haven when you need him?!?
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mahaatma and jiggywiddit,
If we can prove it was Aretha with the flounder trapped in her bosom, I think we could really make MK's holiday season complete.
Lizardbits!! I am obsessed with NORAD too! I think I'm more exicted over it than my poor kids.
I do think we need a NORAD device on M.K.
I am shutting down....
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:42pm.
Touche. Hawt outfit... strange, but I always thought those uniforms came with pant?
*whispers* pst... what's BSEG?
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:46pm.
A freind of mind worked in an emergency room and there was a dude who had to have a trophy removed from his ass. Well, my friend saved the X-ray and all I can say is :-O...Anyway, so my friend was there post op when the doc walks in to check on the patient. The doc says, "How's it goin' Champ?" True story....
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Squeeeeee...OMG...Seriously, Tigerlilly. Did he/she ever find out how it got there? Pissed off player from the opposing team? OMG...I know I shouldn't be..but LMAO!!!!!
Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:44pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:37pm. Bless you my child...in the name of MK, The Empress of Lucite, Sketti cat and Cheesus...You are HEALED of all demons...(shit you don't really like anyway)....You are HEALED from all your sins...(all that embarrasking shit we've all done and will do again)...Now go forth and do something worthy...flash your tits, hood rat stuff, get high, prank call your neighbors, fuck a bike, smack a ho' down... it's really up to you ...That's how we roll up here in this DListed religion....Amen, and Praise Cheesus, cuz I'm hungry like that....
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....thanks blessed Reverend Tigelilly...I've never fucked a bike, but have shown my tits at Cabo Wabo and plan to do it again next year... I hope that counts for something....
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Sure it counts for something...Read scripture MK:Chichi's for inspiration, my child...Oh, and do one bong hit and 3 Bloody Mary's...What? Don't question my wisdom...I'm a fuckin' Reverend...JUST DO IT...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Tigerlilly,
Jolie totally put her Oscar for "Girl Interrupted" up Brad's ass, didn't she?? You can tell us.
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:46pm.
mahaatma,
Both tilapia and flounder are nice flat fish. Certainly they might have been overlooked whilst she donned her behemoth bra.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Submitted by NitWitty on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:41pm.
====================================================
...I have stories that would make your toes curl, Nitty....like the fat woman with actual turds in the folds behind her knees....I could go on and on...
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...so I have a moat with gators, a drawbridge, and no friends....I drink, smoke pot and like pills.... there is a name for people like me - Dlister is one of them...recluse may be another...
There are some things i will not buy second hand.
January 2, 2009
Need a ‘Big’ casket?
Posted: 02:14 PM ET on CNN.com
So keep an eye on eBay: the Big Bopper’s family is planning to auction the late rock ‘n’ roller’s casket in the next few weeks.
According to the Beaumont (Texas) Enterprise, J.P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson’s casket, made of 16-gauge steel, was exhumed last year so the singer’s remains could be moved to a more visible location with a statue and historic marker.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Submitted by NitWitty on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:41pm.
Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:36pm.
...our MK may be in the emergency room as we speak getting some unmentionable removed from his anus...
... when I worked emergency we remover a hammer from an ass once and found a dead fish under a fat womans breast, so who knows what kind of predicament MK has gotten himself into...the fish had been dead for weeks by the way...
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ROFLMAOOO...Ewwww..I was trying to hang, but I think you may have just done me in! LOL You know my soft spot!! Ewwwwww but LOL!!!!
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A freind of mind worked in an emergency room and there was a dude who had to have a trophy removed from his ass. Well, my friend saved the X-ray and all I can say is :-O...Anyway, so my friend was there post op when the doc walks in to check on the patient. The doc says, "How's it goin' Champ?" True story....
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
mahaatma,
Ahhahaha! Come on! Explain yourself. Like a whole fish with the head still on straight from the ocean that got trapped while she swam? Or like a grilled or baked filet? And HOW DID IT GET THERE? And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?
For some reason I just know it wasn't something nice like swordfish. I bet it was haddock.
I really need some answers.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:37pm. Bless you my child...in the name of MK, The Empress of Lucite, Sketti cat and Cheesus...You are HEALED of all demons...(shit you don't really like anyway)....You are HEALED from all your sins...(all that embarrasking shit we've all done and will do again)...Now go forth and do something worthy...flash your tits, hood rat stuff, get high, prank call your neighbors, fuck a bike, smack a ho' down... it's really up to you ...That's how we roll up here in this DListed religion....Amen, and Praise Cheesus, cuz I'm hungry like that....
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
....thanks blessed Reverend Tigelilly...I've never fucked a bike, but have shown my tits at Cabo Wabo and plan to do it again next year... I hope that counts for something....
``````````````````````````````````````
...so I have a moat with gators, a drawbridge, and no friends....I drink, smoke pot and like pills.... there is a name for people like me - Dlister is one of them...recluse may be another...
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:10pm.
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:07pm.
Not Cardinal? Like the birdies? Dey is red too!
++++++++
Mounties always get their man.
I rest my case.
BSEG.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Thankfully the dinosaurs didn't have a space program.
Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:36pm.
...our MK may be in the emergency room as we speak getting some unmentionable removed from his anus...
... when I worked emergency we remover a hammer from an ass once and found a dead fish under a fat womans breast, so who knows what kind of predicament MK has gotten himself into...the fish had been dead for weeks by the way...
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ROFLMAOOO...Ewwww..I was trying to hang, but I think you may have just done me in! LOL You know my soft spot!! Ewwwwww but LOL!!!!
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:21pm.
I have done claimed that title, as per earlier posts. HOWEVS...you two may be popes and/or bishHos.
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Rats. OK bishor it is! Now...who's gonna begin the service with a little 'laying on of the hands'.
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Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:36pm.
...our MK may be in the emergency room as we speak getting some unmentionable removed from his anus...
... when I worked emergency we remover a hammer from an ass once and found a dead fish under a fat womans breast
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My mom worked emerg. Once they got a guy with a banana strapped to his leg. Poor guy. Ha!
♥ ThreadKilla!
My Favourite DListed Things!
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Submitted by mahaatma on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:27pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:09pm.You heard the Deacon, whores...
I'm likin' religion now....Amen, and Hallejuea! Praise MK, Shauna Sand, sketti cat and Cheesus....
Now, git ta steppin', whores....
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....the spirit has overtaken me and I'm rolling around on the floor and talking in tongues *or maybe just drunk*, but goddamn this is a great religion - the only one that makes any sense!.... thanks, Tigelilly for making me see the light!...I think I was just reborn....or maybe it was just gas from all that fried string cheese....
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Bless you my child...in the name of MK, The Empress of Lucite, Sketti cat and Cheesus...You are HEALED of all demons...(shit you don't really like anyway)....You are HEALED from all your sins...(all that embarrasking shit we've all done and will do again)...Now go forth and do something worthy...flash your tits, hood rat stuff, get high, prank call your neighbors, fuck a bike, smack a ho' down... it's really up to you ...That's how we roll up here in this DListed religion....Amen, and Praise Cheesus, cuz I'm hungry like that....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
...our MK may be in the emergency room as we speak getting some unmentionable removed from his anus...
... when I worked emergency we remover a hammer from an ass once and found a dead fish under a fat womans breast, so who knows what kind of predicament MK has gotten himself into...the fish had been dead for weeks by the way...
``````````````````````````````````````
...so I have a moat with gators, a drawbridge, and no friends....I drink, smoke pot and like pills.... there is a name for people like me - Dlister is one of them...recluse may be another...
Submitted by Clarisse on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:19pm.
Nitty!!!
SIS??????
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You were saying you had a sis who was the shortest and fairest, and yet the one who whipped ass. Well, that's me. Only suspended 5 times for fighting..but everytime was for sticking up for one of my taller sisters...go figure..lol