Friday, January 2nd 2009
The "Over The Moon" Watch
Here is case #3,457,485 of a bitch using the phrase "over the moon" to describe a new part of their life. It's my duty to keep track of this kind of overused fuckery.
This one comes from Sarah Palin. She issued this statement yesterday about the birth of her new grandkiddie Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston: "We are over the moon with the arrival of this healthy, beautiful baby. The road ahead for this young couple will not be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy."
Wait. If this came from Sarah Plain, shouldn't they be "over the dead moose"?
Thanks Michael
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I hope you're silent because you're busy typing devilgirl.
Either story.
Episodes would be good, then we can postulate. NO tv.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
@TITS:
Well who is it then???
♥ ThreadKilla!
My Favourite DListed Things!
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You just go on about your business:)
Submitted by SkyBitch on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:47pm.
*wave*
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by SkyBitch on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:47pm.
Good evening, hookers.
Sky, haven't seen you in a while! Happy New Year to you.
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Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:46pm.
And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?
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I don't think it's a weight issue, Paris smells like she has a dead raccoon shoved up there, and she's pretty skinny.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:50pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:46pm.
That was my mom's store, and that was no hallucination.
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Yeah, I was wondering why our "trip" ended there....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:33pm.
TITS, is that Michael Jackson?
*
*GASP*
we were never friends.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Submitted by SkyBitch on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:47pm.
Good evening, hookers.
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Tongue me and call me Jacob...Don't ask questions, just do it...and tell no one...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:46pm.
That was my mom's store, and that was no hallucination.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:26pm.
mahaatma,
Have you ever seen a Hat Trick? Say... a toothbrush, a fish, AND a hammer? You know, someone who is a real overachiever.
*
rock, paper scissors would impress the hell out of me.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
The thing about the fish story that keeps me laughing (besides angel reaction) is the mahatma saying 'she wasn't there about the fish' HAHHAHAHAHAHH what the FUCK!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Good evening, hookers.
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Titty-fucking her would be like boning an empty horse scrotum.
I have a whole shit load of stories that most people would not even believe....
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i'm on the edge of my seat. shit away!
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:23pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:17pm.
Moral of the story: just say no if she offers you some of her homemade rice pudding.
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BAD! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
True story when I was a young tiger, I wanted to have a 'dinner party' but we were young zoo animals and we got into some heavy duty Catnip, the kind Timmy Leary favored...so any who, I bought some Killer baked Ziti from a gourmet store...This shit would have made you slap yo' Italian mama, it was so good, BUT, when we was all nipped in a Timmy way, well...That pasta started movin' maggot/worm like and just wouldn't stop...We were all hallucinating like hell and I could not keep mine to myself "Hell no, this shit is movin' like worms, I don't care if it ain't real I'm not eating it"...And that killed it right there....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
TITS,
Ahhaha! They bring her on their next fishing trip if they're smart.
Tits-(are you still out there? You make me blush with your story requests! If others are in agreement, I will tell another, but only if there is a gen. consensus. I have the Oklahoma tale, but it's really long. I could do it episodically, which might be an idea, or I could tell another with that Matthew chracter, it has violence and blood!
Mrs. Gosling - I can't tell if you got answered here but no - Scientology does not believe in treating anything with people or resources from the medical arena. Dumbasses. I'm even wary of that stuff but I know a good thing when I see it!
I feel terribly about Jett. When I looked at those pics earlier I can tell that, whether I agree with them or not about stuff or if they Sciento'd him, the Travoltas are likely devastated.
PS.
Is MK alright?
How come he's not posting Jett, I wonder...? Hmmm...
♥ ThreadKilla!
My Favourite DListed Things!
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:15pm.
mahaatma,
What exactly is the bedside manner for doctors and nurses when you happen across a dead fish under a person's boob? Do you act casual and perky about it? Act like you see it all of the time? Do you give them literature to take home on how to avoid that problem again?
*
oh dog i'm crying laughing here.
maybe they go to the fridge and pull out a styrofoam cup full of half dead worms. Clearly the woman needs bait.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:37pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:33pm.
My brother has had a 300 lb. useless growth for 23 years, but his wife won't leave.
Hahaha.
That seems to be going around a lot.
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Submitted by No Words on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:11pm.
Completely off topic, but...
That picture of Brad and Skankalina on the side is pissing me off like you wouldn't believe.
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get firefox, and install the ad blocker plus extension. you'll never be bothered by another ad again.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:33pm.
My brother has had a 300 lb. useless growth for 23 years, but his wife won't leave.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
TITS, is that Michael Jackson?
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:22pm.
and TL?
"How's it goin' Champ?" True story....
golfing trophy? hee
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I couldn't tell. I was just amazed that you could get a 3 pronged trophy stuck in yo' ass...then again, I don't know how you get a toof brush stuck in yo' 'giney or a lightbulb stuck up yo' ass...I don't get any of that,and don't wanna...just don't wanna...
but what kills me is my cousin is a surgeon...make a long story short, he removed an 80 lb tumor...yes, 80...lb tumor that was soooo obvious that the patient had had her husband BUILD a SLING for it...Ok, when you have a growth that you need any kind of sling for...um...yeah...get help...When your husband has to BUILD a sling for a growth that may or may not account for that...I don't know 80 lbs you've gained...I mean, when do you say..."This here ain't normal"?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
You know TL, a lot of times I type LOL or hahaha, but when I read your champ story, I truly did laugh out loud, long and hard. I love that type of humour. Witty AND taking the piss.
speaking of which - 2C - big shit eating grin.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
"And how fat does one have to be to get dead animals trapped on your person?" madam s
Damn ponchos!
TV, I knew I was feeling a bit squirrely for a reason. Damn rodents!
TITS,
I'm waiting to see what tidbits you've culled from my poetic meanderings regarding emergency anal situations.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:16pm.
It's all good though, when she uses the whitening toothpaste you can see her brown eye wink at you in the dark.
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GD it, TV. I thought I was setting that trap for a new peeper!
Submitted by yiooooooo on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:28pm.
or modern medicine
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:16pm.
I think so , they dont belive in psicology or therapy .
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:22pm.
Off topic.... I just smacked the face off myself on my patio door. OUCH!!
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Did you see a squirrel in the yard or something?
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
mahaatma, you need to spill those stories. Only for research porpoises, you understand. :)
mahaatma,
Have you ever seen a Hat Trick? Say... a toothbrush, a fish, AND a hammer? You know, someone who is a real overachiever.
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:22pm.
Off topic.... I just smacked the face off myself on my patio door. OUCH!!
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Told you that you were a little OCD on the cleaning! Now, let it get fingermarks like everyone else!
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:22pm.
and TL?
"How's it goin' Champ?" True story....
golfing trophy? hee
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It was a yachting trophy. He had a dinghy in his ass.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:15pm.
mahaatma,
What exactly is the bedside manner for doctors and nurses when you happen across a dead fish under a person's boob? Do you act casual and perky about it? Act like you see it all of the time? Do you give them literature to take home on how to avoid that problem again?
================================================
...actually you play it off like "no big deal"... then you go into the staff lounge if you can make it that far and roll on the floor laughing your ass off and topping each other with disgusting tales.... I have a whole shit load of stories that most people would not even believe....
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...so I have a moat with gators, a drawbridge, and no friends....I drink, smoke pot and like pills.... there is a name for people like me - Dlister is one of them...recluse may be another...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:17pm.
Kay, this is nastay, but...
A Morbidly obese person came into the ER complaining of stomach pain. She was in a lot of pain, and they could not get her on the table so they had to examine her on the floor. She had a lot of folds on her belly and so, the physician had some trouble feeling around her belly. She said it was kind of like lifting the corners of your mattress up to tuck the fitted sheets under. Anyway, she had to feel underneath all of those folds. Well, she drew her hand out of one of them and it had MAGGOTS in it! I know, I know it sounds like an urban legend, but she had an open wound and was not able to clean it because it was not accessable, and it not only got infected, it got gangrene...Ugh. Nast.
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I SOOOOO totally wanna call bullshit on this one..but then I've seen suck effed up shit on TLC..so all I can do is squirm and wriggle and giggle behind my hand so no one calls me insensitive.....whaaaaa???? You know MK'd do that same thing...this is his house afterall and I just try to blend in...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:17pm.
Moral of the story: just say no if she offers you some of her homemade rice pudding.
***********************************************
I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:46pm.
I'm going to have to quote you. Don't be freaked out.
and TL?
"How's it goin' Champ?" True story....
golfing trophy? hee
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Thankfully the dinosaurs didn't have a space program.
Off topic.... I just smacked the face off myself on my patio door. OUCH!!
Submitted by yiooooooo on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:17pm.
I am not sure..in the article it said he had a history of seizures... not very familiar with scientology do they not believe in treating illness?
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Christmas is over :(
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:17pm.
Submitted by NitWitty on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:14pm.
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HAHAHAHA!!! What the fuck was that?
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Grease is the WORD...lolololol...sorry, I know I'm a dork..but eye nose you nose that!
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:16pm.
Dint he suffer from some kind of sindrome that the Travoltas ignored because of scientology??
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"I'm ginna drezz mah baby in all bran namez 'n' if I can't afford it, I guess I'm ginna still it!" or "If mah baby losez its pacifier, I have three mo'!"
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:02pm.
@ Tigger--
Bring it.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 10:56pm.
Ooooh, I also heard an even more disgusting story that gives me the willies....
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Kay, this is nastay, but...
A Morbidly obese person came into the ER complaining of stomach pain. She was in a lot of pain, and they could not get her on the table so they had to examine her on the floor. She had a lot of folds on her belly and so, the physician had some trouble feeling around her belly. She said it was kind of like lifting the corners of your mattress up to tuck the fitted sheets under. Anyway, she had to feel underneath all of those folds. Well, she drew her hand out of one of them and it had MAGGOTS in it! I know, I know it sounds like an urban legend, but she had an open wound and was not able to clean it because it was not accessable, and it not only got infected, it got gangrene...Ugh. Nast.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by NitWitty on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:14pm.
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HAHAHAHA!!! What the fuck was that?
once and found a dead fish under a fat womans breast, so who knows what kind of predicament MK has gotten himself into...the fish had been dead for weeks by the way...
*
We here in western canada we call that smoked pink salmon.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Thankfully the dinosaurs didn't have a space program.
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:12pm.
Nitwitty,
Hmmm... so you're "anal about your toothbrush" huh? Sounds exactly like the problem many of these emergency room people have.
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It's all good though, when she uses the whitening toothpaste you can see her brown eye wink at you in the dark.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 11:12pm.
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LMAOOOOO! Please, I'll give you my year's supply of Sensodyne not to go there!
John Travolta's son was found in his bathroom dead....this story is really sad and as much as the dlisters make fun of him this is just tragic
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Christmas is over :(
mahaatma,
What exactly is the bedside manner for doctors and nurses when you happen across a dead fish under a person's boob? Do you act casual and perky about it? Act like you see it all of the time? Do you give them literature to take home on how to avoid that problem again?