Happy New Year, Sluts!
While I'm still coherent, I just want to thank all of you whores for dealing with my ass this year. If I could give all of you a handjob while feeding you Mother's Circus Animal Cookies, I would. And I would do it with love.
I was going to do a whole post toasting my favorite crap from 2008, but honestly, I tried to stay drunk and stoned through most of the year, so I don't remember that much. And seriously, who fucking cares? Let's just hope 2009 is filled with many more beautiful gifts like Spaghetti Cat, Rojo Caliente, The Shiba Inu 6, Mah Boo, Kim Zolciak's back alley wig, c-word slips, Chicken Cutlets, The Empress of Lucite, La Pequeña, etc.... Oh shit. I just listed some of my favorite things. I have a genius memory!
Anyihopeiblackouttonight, Happy New Whore to everyone! Get drunk and get dicked!
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'leash, it's just a little singing!
My cats are crying to be fed but I have to be here. I think my husband is going to hit me again
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:38am.
'leash - I'm trying to get everyone to sing along with me because I feel like I just walked into a Sanitorium.
*
good try. i tried to do the same thing earlier with food talk, not much luck.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Thankfully the dinosaurs didn't have a space program.
Somebody needs to call the Orkin man..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Revenge is a dish best served with a side of cheese fries and a medium soda...
Submitted by dead-actress on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:46am.
Hi DA. You have an actress who is dead in your avie. Did you have a good New Year's? *hic*
Hey Dot, fuck this. Just get your hot ass on the phone and call me.
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Titty-fucking her would be like boning an empty horse scrotum.
Submitted by DUDE on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:38am.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:34am.
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A PSA encouraging beastiality. Jimmy Buffett would be proud.
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Drunken beastiality at that...
I really should write, produce and direct after school specials...I really should...I'm that good at PSA's...Admit it....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I have to say I am quite amused by trollspotter. Carrot, is that you, bitch? =P
Devilgirl, I would love to smoke it any way I could get it, but I am job hunting and fear pee tests.
Tell a story and as Sheeps said make it juicy.
I put malt vinegar on my popcorn. It's very European
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:39am.
OK, a long story is fine, but make it juicy. Less violence, more random unclothed people.
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Yeah, what Sheeps said..but keep the violence if you're the one kicking ass.
Hi, Sheeps!
ON T: To quote ESE..."Not gonna do it. No."
***Submitted by Mix Well on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:40am.
oh look, it's the 'poor me, i'm crying' routine. pathetic.
skybitch. deal.
***
Who are you calling pathetic? Seriously. Is that avie of yours some lame-ass attempt to mask the fact that you're a troll from Just Jared? SO transparent.
I can't wait for the kids to go back to school.
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Titty-fucking her would be like boning an empty horse scrotum.
God, can't a bitch go pee and crack open a beer without having to catch up to thirty more comments?!
Pauly. Stop that. Play nice, godammit. The stupid painkillers have left me in a wonky state. I can't sleep on these things, so I just wander back in here every so often, but there's all this...whatever.
my 2cents - have you made it yourself? any tips? I'm low on kernals and would hate to fuck it up.
speaking of which - devil - what happened to your project?
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Thankfully the dinosaurs didn't have a space program.
Pffft. Bet when Michael K started the anti-Perez gossip site he couldn't predict that people would move in and live here. He really should break off a car antenna and start swinging.
Night Pauly. I mean Carrottop. I mean Pauly.
I think its time you all get herded back to the troll farm. Troll Pigs!!
i am Sybil, wait! he is your love! he is the best father ever! i feel so bad for you. i am so crying for you!
My personalities get mad and gang up on the personality that needs to go away.
Devil girl - here's a new icon for you!
now i have that twinkle toe music in my head! LOL
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Thankfully the dinosaurs didn't have a space program.
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
Lovely Spaaam! Wonderful Spaaam!
Lovely Spaaam! Wonderful Spam.
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am.
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am.
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am.
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am.
Lovely Spaaam! (Lovely Spam!)
Lovely Spaaam! (Lovely Spam!)
Lovely Spaaam!
Spaaam, Spaaam, Spaaam, Spaaaaaam!
In my experience, those who are constantly complaining about the world being against them are the ones who get cancer.
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:35am.
Caramel popcorn if the shit! Do you guys have Lolly Gobble Bliss Bombs? Actually, I'm not sure if they still make them but OMG are they addictive.
*checking email*
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My husband just punched me in the face.
it on my face, and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you oralize,
When I'm between your thighs;
You blow me away!
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face and let my love be truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
And we'll sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play,
'Till we're blown away!
oh look, it's the 'poor me, i'm crying' routine. pathetic.
skybitch. deal.
What we need is Helen Reddy(sp?), Mad Dog 20/20 and a bag of possums.
Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:36am.
OK, a long story is fine, but make it juicy. Less violence, more random unclothed people.
*grabs Mix Well by the fucking throat*
*throws the bitch down and gives IT the beatdown*
Don't you mess with my Dot, dammit! She is for reals, I assure you.
Who's next???
*huff, puff*
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Titty-fucking her would be like boning an empty horse scrotum.
Trolls lie about munching on popcorn. They really cant afford to buy popcorn and eat paper instead.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:34am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A PSA encouraging beastiality. Jimmy Buffett would be proud.
the DUDE! abides...
@Devil: Tell us a story.
'leash - I'm trying to get everyone to sing along with me because I feel like I just walked into a Sanitorium. Also, I think my dinner was bad. My gas smells like dead cats.
How's your life?
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:32am.
Oh TigerL, You're the bestest fucking whore in all of dlisted.
*tosses bucket of cod tongues into cage*
erm... you ARE in a cage... right?
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Yeah, in one of those "enclosures"...You know, like Tatianna...er, no I mean, NOT like that...*tiger eyes darting back and forth*...Yeah, that's the ticket....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Creemy, I don't have a bong, but would you accept a marijuana cigarrette?
*passes illegal substance*
I reported all of you. I think I have an anger management personality.
Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:32am.
I swear I could listen to your stories all night. I have a friend like you that tries to help others and bad shit happens. I invite him over just to listen.
How sweet to be an Idiot,
As harmless as a cloud,
Too small to hide the sun
Almost poking fun,
At the warm but insecure untidy crowd.
How sweet to be an idiot,
And dip my brain in joy,
Children laughing at my back,
With no fear of attack,
As much retaliation as a toy.
How sweet to be an idiot, how sweet.
I tiptoe down the street,
Smiled at everyone I meet,
But suddenly a scream,
Smashes through my dream,
Fie fye foe fum,
I smell the blood of an asylum,
(Blood of an asylum,
But mother I play so beautifully, listen. ha ha)
Fie fye foe fum,
I smell the blood of the asylum,
Hey you, you're such a pedant,
You got as much brain as a dead ant,
As much imagination as a caravan sign.
But I still love you, still love you,
Oooh how sweet to be an idiot,
How sweet. how sweet. How sweet.
I put the European u in my favourite words, it colours my world and flavours my life. I wonder if I am Canadian.
OK- IF YOU HO'S DON'T START ACTING RIGHT I AM GONNA TELL ANOTHER LOOOOOONG STORY AND BECOME THE FEMALE JIM AND CHARLES, I HAVE CRUSHES ON THEM BOTH. I LIKE EVERYONE HERE AND I DON'T CARE IF NO ONE LIKES ME BECAUSE I AM TOO STUPID TO KNOW IF YOU DON'T. NOW MK NEEDS TO POST SOME GOSSIP OR I WILL TELL ANOTHER COUNTRY CRAZY TALE!
Pauly-! You back again? It's like there's some kind of free-for-all goin' on. In other news... Whatchoo been up to?
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:25am.
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:20am.
*passes popcorn to TITS*
*
oooh girl, i'm on a wicked popcorn binge lately. Just finished my shakey bottle of kernals salt and vinegar flavoured powdered topping. Chemically heinous, but damned tasty.
Toying with the idea of trying to make candy popcorn balls for the first time.
well... it is only 9pm here... hmmm maybe a half portion of the recipe first time to try.
ps read your hotmail.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Thankfully the dinosaurs didn't have a space program.
stoney, for the record, because i don't delete my previous posts, here it is.
"fake blonde cheerleader wannabe...you still here? don't you have to go get your ass kicked or a do you have a child to save somewhere? think you had better things to do than spend all day on a gossip site, unless, you're full of shit."
she is here spreading shit. sorry you felt you had to report me, but.
I was a cheerleader in high school.
Trolls wear powder blue granny panties and dirty bras.
Ok, kids I'm gonna be signing off soon, but a'fore I do...I'd like to sing you a little ballad close to my heart...well, not so much my heart as my genitals, but here it goes...*clearing tiger throat*....
I really do appreciate the fact youre sittin here
Your voice sounds so wonderful
But yer face dont look too clear
So bar maid bring a pitcher, another round o brew
Honey, why dont we get drunk and screw
Chorus:
Why dont we get drunk and screw
I just bought a water bed, its filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen
Honey I dont think thats true
So, why dont we get drunk and screw
Yeah, I'm just putting it out there for any takers....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Stoney on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:25am.
I'm not sure it's correct though. There is a long standing rumour of a similar theme involving Marilyn Monroe. I can't say I really buy into either scenario.
OH, and Thanks TITS! I loves me some blind items but they frustrate me when I don't know the answers. I has bookmarked said site for future reference :)
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I am holding a gun right now. It's not mine, though
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry
On Wednesdays I go shopping
And have buttered scones for tea
I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I love to press wild flow'rs
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars
I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa
I would love a bong hit to ease the last phase of this hangover.