Happy New Year, Sluts!
While I'm still coherent, I just want to thank all of you whores for dealing with my ass this year. If I could give all of you a handjob while feeding you Mother's Circus Animal Cookies, I would. And I would do it with love.
I was going to do a whole post toasting my favorite crap from 2008, but honestly, I tried to stay drunk and stoned through most of the year, so I don't remember that much. And seriously, who fucking cares? Let's just hope 2009 is filled with many more beautiful gifts like Spaghetti Cat, Rojo Caliente, The Shiba Inu 6, Mah Boo, Kim Zolciak's back alley wig, c-word slips, Chicken Cutlets, The Empress of Lucite, La Pequeña, etc.... Oh shit. I just listed some of my favorite things. I have a genius memory!
Anyihopeiblackouttonight, Happy New Whore to everyone! Get drunk and get dicked!
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@Pauly: And this is all sung to the tune of..?
Devilgirl, no personal info, but what state do you live in? That story is fucked. Did you get your power tools back?
posters, really do not give people here your personal information.
Wait, who's munchousen j-nn??? *ears perk up*
Submitted by devilgirl on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 1:05am.
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Devilgirl, I had to read your story before I logged off. Hilarious. You remind me of James Haven. You both tell stories that come to life and I can clearly see the whole incident unfold through your words.
Oh, glad you survived.
Goodnight, darlin'...
Oh no, the word is out. My name is Gretch and everyone here knows it. I'm soooo skeered!
And YES, I am German. TMI?
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Titty-fucking her would be like boning an empty horse scrotum.
My friend came over and saw me setting the ferret on fire. Then my friend said she was from Social Services and that she was not my friend. I was sad
Creemy, just delete all the text in the edit section, I guess. It would show up as a blank comment, I guess.
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:56am.
Why is everyone calling everyone else fat?
Women who have the figures of 11 year old boys are not pretty, no matter what sort of face they have.
Women who have curves, even more than necessary, epitomize femininity and are the ones who deserve to be photographed naked wearing ties on the covers of magazines.
I think I am in love. Sigh.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
I'll give out my personal information but I don't have any
2cents I like the look of your recipe - nice and simple. Like me. :)
I was looking at this one and am fascinated. http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/006139caramel_corn.php
sadly i don't have any corn syrup in the house. Would golden syrup be considered a valid substitution?
Think I'll try yours first. With some toasted peanuts mixed in.
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Thankfully the dinosaurs didn't have a space program.
Dlisted is the site where i learn the most interesting stuff.
Today I read up on that crazy woman J-nn-. I'd never heard of her before, but now I know all about it. CRAZY. Talk about major troll. Munschausen's by internet- a new disease.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Troll rule # 1 do not have friends. Friends may come over while you have 5 computers going and ask you what are you doing?
While you are explaining that you are just checking to see if your laptops work you have missed 287 opportunities to prove you are from Canada,post a recipe,call someone fat,Make up a new Alt,report a poster to the Mod or say What up beeshes?
Everyone on here is my buddy, and I'm damn proud of it!
*pays off everyone*
stoney, i got the name from your insane pal.
"
Submitted by . on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:56am.
Gretch, can you email your number to me? Gawd. Sorry, babe. I'm terrible about saving shit.
reply • report abuse
Ok, I will continue the night of my hillbilly beat down.
I arrive home, after church lot beating, and a friend of mine pulls in driveway
(decent, has job, uses proper English, full set'o'teeth. Where have you been he askes, oh I just got the shit beat out of me by two knocked up skanks. He thinks I am joking. About that time ground zero of my beating pulls in drive and heads to my garage with a scum bag in tow. I am livid and start to yell when I see a gun being loaded, then all of a sudden I look up in my field, and I see two men in full cammo moving around. In my neck of the woods, the running joke is that anyone whose is on drugs sees law enforcement in cammo ready to bust them. I ask who the fuck is in my field, ahhh, Devilgirl, you are high. Nope, I wasn't, bell rung, yes, high, no. I yell at these things I see to get the fuck out into the light and out of my field. All of a sudden two guys come out of my field, in full on cammo, faces painted, twigs on their heads, blah, blah. I know these idiots from my days running a resort. I ask them what they are doing "we're here to beat the shit out of Matthew (jesus!). I yell at them and they decide they are not goping to cause any trouble. The next thing I know Matthew is shooting a 9mm in the air and yelling at someone, I turn around and this car has flown into my driveway like the Gen. Lee out hopes this idiot kid whose father always tried to take me on a date to the Outback steakhouse, wielding a gun. I snap and rip the gun out of Matthews hand, throw it in the weeds and then go down the drive to talk to this idiot kid. He proceeds to tell me to get out of the way bcuz he's going to kill Matthew. Mind you, at this point, I don't care about the assasination of Matthew, I care that my house has more gun activity than Watts. I try reasoning with his and he tells me that since I won't let him kill Matthew, he's going to shoot me, but first he asks his girlfriend to get out of the car (now this is the real kicker kids!) to beat me up, and she too is knocked up, only 5months, not 8. To boot, she is the aunt of the other two who had beaten me earlier. I told her to have at it, why not let the entire family of pregnant women take their shot. She yells, calls me the usual country fav terms, c word, whore, so on. She gets into car, her boyfriend is mad at her now. They fight. I start to walk away when the kid tells me (my back to him) to stop or he'll shoot, to which I replied "go ahead and so it, I am about ready for this entire redneck roustabout to be over and if you can make it happen, pull the trigger, otherwise I am going into my house, having a drink with the ONE decent person there then if I am feeling like having a policeman's ball, I will get the 5-0 to clear you out. I walked to my house, had a tumbler of tequila, called the cops who asked me "is this an emergengy" I said no and when I regained conscienceness(sp?) the next day, every one was gone, but so were all of my power tools in my shed. This is all true, I am not capable of making this insanity up. I warned you all! : )
@DA...HNY
@Stoney... I trust the instinct of Deb, Drama, CTH...
@Sybil...Random dude, real random..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Revenge is a dish best served with a side of cheese fries and a medium soda...
Can someone please tell me how one would delete a post? I only have edit and report abuse buttons. Just asking because I saw someone mention it earlier.
stoney, the only person bringing up 'mouse' is your buddie period/. .
Who the fuck is Gretch? Is she German?
I don't have a name. My friends just say hey crazy lady. Just kidding, I don't have any friends
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:54am.
Tiger, I dint exactly say you were "fat." *reading transcript into record* I said you were HWAT back in your college experimental period. And that there was arguably a small, colorable chance that some people who know you now might say you were smaller--of lesser weight then. That's all. *nervously squeezing stun gun in jacket pocket*
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*harumph...Crossing tiger arms over chest, tapping tiger foot*....Let's just get one thing straight, I'm NOT fat, I'm CURVY!...Okaaaaaay? Now I may be "curvier" than the average tiger, but those whores are ALL ANOREXIC, do you hear me???? Now repeat..."Tiger is not fat but curvy and I'm not allowed to find a thinner tiger attractive in any way shape or form"....SAY IT! SAY IT! Ok, now we can relax...Wait! Were you looking at that skinny ass cat???? Oh no you di'n't!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I once owned a mouse but my husband got mad and said it was a ferret and hit me. Again
The troll farm has been burnt down. Sorry bitch trolls you have no place to go now.
I didn't see anyone's real name, but I've only read the last 300 comments or so.
*scrolls down voraciously*
What?
I don't have email. Email is for sane people. I am not sane.
H
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Not gonna even try to catch up. Just wondering why a thread would have over 1200 comments.
I'll check in with you hot heauxs tomorrow.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:53am.
The one with my dick in your popcorn is still better. Just keep that molten caramel away.
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TV!! Lol! You don't need to tell me that! I'd just prefer mah popcorn wif more caramel and less cheese.
*smooches*
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Why in the name of noodles are people using real names on here? ., you are putting people's safety in jeopardy.
Stoney,
Amen. I'm tired of it. Tired of people getting accused. Not cute or funny or for 'lulz'...just plain ugly.
Why is everyone calling everyone else fat?
Women who have the figures of 11 year old boys are not pretty, no matter what sort of face they have.
Women who have curves, even more than necessary, epitomize femininity and are the ones who deserve to be photographed naked wearing ties on the covers of magazines.
Seriously, are yall still going with that mouse shit? It's been like, two years! It needs to die already.
I sprinkle crystal meth on my popcorn. It tastes like draino.
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:53am.
*stares in disbelief* You're awesome!
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Gretch, can you email your number to me? Gawd. Sorry, babe. I'm terrible about saving shit.
Submitted by dead-actress on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:54am.
Nite, DA Happy New Year!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Good gawd, I've watched two movies, have come back in and this shit is still going on. Think I'll switch over to the ice fishing board. I don't ice fish but not one of the guys there is insane.
I've never eaten poutine.
There were people on here whom I thought were worth getting to know better, and I wanted to. I thought I was a good judge of character. Not anymore. Face to face, yeah. Over the Internet, no.
Be careful out there.
Night and love to all the good boys and girls - you know who you are (or don't - damn!).
Grammy Mustang.
Submitted by I am Sybil on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:48am.
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Sybil,
I am really concerned for you. My e-mail address is bryan.adams@yahoohotmailaol.comnetorgedu. Please send me an e-mail asap so that we can help you. I believe everything you are saying!
the DUDE! abides...
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:47am.
Hi DA. You have an actress who is dead in your avie. Did you have a good New Year's? *hic*
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It was great. Worked at my friend's sports bar and it was packed! Only served beer cause I can't mix drinks worth shit. LOL Got home in the wee hours.
It was nice to see you.
On that positive note..leaving site.
Goodnight. *waving*
I have to squat here. My firebug personality burned down my apartment.
Tiger, I dint exactly say you were "fat." *reading transcript into record* I said you were HWAT back in your college experimental period. And that there was arguably a small, colorable chance that some people who know you now might say you were smaller--of lesser weight then. That's all. *nervously squeezing stun gun in jacket pocket*
Submitted by MyTwoCents on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:50am.
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:45am.
Tittays, there's a recipe here that's similar to the one I've used. It's been a while and I got my recipe from Woman's Weekly (good for all recipes, crap for everything else):
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The one with my dick in your popcorn is still better. Just keep that molten caramel away.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
To TITS:
Tits Tits Tits Tits
Tits for you
Tits for me
Tits for everybody
Tits in the morning,tits at night
We're so lucky to be tits
Big - Small - Furry - Silicon
- On toast - With chips
- that drive you out of your wits.
Men got -
Women got -
Boys got -
Girls got -
Dogs got -
Cats got -
Everybody needs a pair of tits
Everyone is talking tits
Everybodys looking at tits
Lets all get them out at the Ritz
Pips n' Nips n' Lips n' Tits
You wanna girl with great big tits
I wanna grow my very own tits
Lose my head in a pair of tits
But heres the truth - your'e really
getting on my -
The trolls are squatting in MKs forum. You all will be reported to the housing authorities and removed. Better pack up you laptops or they will be confiscated.
@Pauly: Shit, I just checked the time. Man, it's late. Late for ME, anyway; I'm on Eastern.
TITS - your name made me fall in love with you. I will find a song about tits and dedicate it to you.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:47am.
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I gave my accolades. I quoted you.
Keep it up, but I honestly think that encouraging sex with a man-eating kitty is slightly irresponsible (and could be quite dangerous if one doesn't *ahem* measure up)
the DUDE! abides...
@Pauly: Yeah. The "Sheltered Care" floor is one flight up.
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 12:45am.
Tittays, there's a recipe here that's similar to the one I've used. It's been a while and I got my recipe from Woman's Weekly (good for all recipes, crap for everything else):
http://www.bestrecipes.com.au/recipe/Caramel-Popcorn-L1678.html
My only advice is let the caramel cool a little before pouring or it makes the popcorn soggy. Enjoy!
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Pauly- I lol at spam song.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-