Happy New Year, Sluts!
While I'm still coherent, I just want to thank all of you whores for dealing with my ass this year. If I could give all of you a handjob while feeding you Mother's Circus Animal Cookies, I would. And I would do it with love.
I was going to do a whole post toasting my favorite crap from 2008, but honestly, I tried to stay drunk and stoned through most of the year, so I don't remember that much. And seriously, who fucking cares? Let's just hope 2009 is filled with many more beautiful gifts like Spaghetti Cat, Rojo Caliente, The Shiba Inu 6, Mah Boo, Kim Zolciak's back alley wig, c-word slips, Chicken Cutlets, The Empress of Lucite, La Pequeña, etc.... Oh shit. I just listed some of my favorite things. I have a genius memory!
Anyihopeiblackouttonight, Happy New Whore to everyone! Get drunk and get dicked!
• 
I am sure the mention is sincere, but heck Mix, what can be worse than a Devilgirl? I just wish I understood what the heck is going on, anywhere, not just here. Maybe I'll lay off the catnip for a while.
Stoney, if you stick with the songs I've posted, you're safe. They're fooneee.
@Pauly: WHAT?! What did I miss? What's vile?
Thanks, Stoney. You don't know me at all, but we've chatted on here late-night before. I haven't been on a whole lot lately, but I don't miss this craziness. What happened to the late-night fun times? Ugh!
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Titty-fucking her would be like boning an empty horse scrotum.
ocd that clip is vile! I am feeling sick now.
I like to watch. A lot
Has anyone seen The Breakdown or el bastardo lately?
stoney, then you have not been paying attention.
devilgirl, i like your posts and you have never been nasty, so my warning was in good faith. watch period / .
just a watcher.
My ferret has burnitits. I keep burning it. that's bad
Submitted by Pauly Shore on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 1:38am.
DOOD. I ain't got that kinda time!!!
*stares at peeling paint*
Here you are ocd:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=BlK62rjQWLk
I told my Social Worker I am from the Ministry of Funny Walks and she laughed before she shot me up with 50ml of valium.
I have also never had a problem with . or skybitch. I second that emotion, devilgirl.
@ Pauly Shore. Try to find a link to Mr Creosote (spelling?) from the Meaning of Life. I love that one. Your last song just reminded me.
Rule#4 If you have a pet it must be diseased!! The weirdo the disease the better because they will have to google long and hard to see that you are making it up. Sure you can say your cat has a digestive disorder but doesnt paralystical physbolic tuberlositc gastrolifolicius sound more interesting?
GAD How can you do this shit trolls??
Stoney, there are more than 50. There are infinity. Grab a blanky and boil some coffee 'cause you're in for a doozy.
Seriously, I am kinda clueless as to what is going on around here, and while I appreciate cautionary warnings, I do like ./dot and Skybitch. I like everyone, except for Devilgirl, she is flippin' nuts! I love this site because everyone is so damn funny and you can say politically incorrect things and no one starts the sermonettes on you. I don't want to offend or hurt ANYONE'S feelings, and if I ever have, I hang my head in shame!
I feel like Oprah or Dr.Phil- Dear God, NOOOOOOOOOO.
@Pauly: Maybe later, after this fucking smack wears off...
Oh sorry, I didn't know you were ACTUALLY Pauly Shore, lol.
I never got into Monte Python, it's a little before my time, but perhaps I'll have to make myself watch it now. There's like, 50, right?
I can't afford weed so I crush up catnip and smoke it. Cept it wasn't catnip, it was Pine Sol. It didn't feel good
My ex was a model, a 1/24" scale Messerschmidt Bf 109 fighter plane...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Revenge is a dish best served with a side of cheese fries and a medium soda...
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed,
But,
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on.
You're a Catholic the moment Dad came,
Because...
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Children: Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
Little Girl: Let the heathens spill theirs,
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.
Children: Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Mother: Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.
Men on toilets: Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
Women: If a sperm is wasted,
Children: God gets quite irate.
Priest: Every sperm is sacred.
Bride and Groom: Every sperm is good.
Nannies: Every sperm is needed
Babies: In your neighbourhood!
Everyone: Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
Undertakers: God needs everybody's.
Male mourner: Mine!
Female mourner: And mine!
Corpse: And mine!
Nuns: Let the Pagans spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
Statues: God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
Everyone: Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaate!
'leash, I think you should.
SHIT, now I've done it! I just posted a pic of my actual pussy as my avatar. I'm really fucked now! Come get me.
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Titty-fucking her would be like boning an empty horse scrotum.
Stoney, you're correct, I'm channeling the Monty Python men. I'm sure I could invent a song about female condoms if I smoked enough. But I don't, so I have to borrow wondrous songs from others.
Don't hate on me, that move was a mistake. Sort of like Batman and Robin. George never got over THAT one.
I'm off to reads some Kathy Reichs, a step above my normal romance book fodder for late night reading. Happy new year, and much love to all.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Once I acted like my cat and said I was taking a cat nap and they locked me up for 72 hours that time. I don't speak cat anymore
periods family spoke to the tv and it said that she was insane.
But...I'm actually sitting here smoking weed, so that makes me cool, I mean DUH.
@Pauly: I'm wondering if I should cholarize my avi. She was a fierce bitch.
Tits, I haven't told these travails of mine in a long while and if I hadn't lived them, I wouldn't believe them myself. I would love to move, but unfortunately we own a lot of land around here and the house that I live in was left to me by my grandmother. I could never find a place anywhere else that I could afford that would be as nice and have privacy (ha, did I actually say privacy?) Actually things have calmed down the last 5 yrs. and I have so many pets I could never live in a city(although I do miss living in the city)and they be happy. Here they have fresh air, land to prowl and a big house. Plus I would never sell my grandparents home.
I speak to people on the telly but I can't speak to my Social Worker on it or she will increase my meds.
"If being associated with Period makes me wrong, then I don't wanna be right!"
enough said.
Anything goes in.
Anything goes out!
Fish, bananas, old pyjamas,
Mutton! Beef! and Trout!
Anything goes in...
(Repeat until ears fall off)
You can't just be making this shit up off the top of your head. The bee song was brilliant. Where are you stealing this shit from?
Sorry, maybe I'm just biased against you because I also hate Pauly Shore for that movie where he blew up.
@ Pauly: Douche away.
I try to amuse my husband when he gets all hitty but he gets more mad and I have to get my sock puppet
Rule #3
Pretend to smoke weed, be drunk,eat pouline,travel to wonderful destinations,speak 5 launguages,have an awesome occupation, and think you are the funniest bitch that ever posted on a forum. That will make you a winner at trolling.
Im not making this shit up. There really was is a troll manual and I have it. Im exsposing all your secrets.
The tards hatin' on skybitch are clueless.
CTH has spoken to Sky on the telly before. I've spoke to sky on the telly before. The list narrows down when you fucktards stop smoking the ass crack.
***Submitted by Mix Well on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 1:27am.
devilgirl, you seem harmless, just be careful. period and skybitch are wrong.
***
If being associated with Period makes me wrong, then I don't wanna be right!
:-P
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Titty-fucking her would be like boning an empty horse scrotum.
Stoney, and 'leash - you've made me feel appreciated just now. May I add to the musical medley? I was enjoying it, if no one else was. Particularly the douching.
Now, I'm really saying nite nite, gotta take a tiger piss, so not gonna describe the love I don't really feel for you all, but you know it's there, right? It's totally there!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 1:09am.
Hmmm. I dunno about the molasses... I guess golden syrup might be a good sub. but definitely do my one first. And the peanuts (or cashews) sounds perfect.
Mail for U!
@devilgirl
Holy hell girl you're a magnet for trouble. Come back more often, K? :)
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on Fri, 01/02/2009 - 1:25am.
They are the sole reason I can no longer watch Entertainment Tonight.
devilgirl, you seem harmless, just be careful. period and skybitch are wrong.
My girlfriend is something big in the city, she's a streetlight..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
Revenge is a dish best served with a side of cheese fries and a medium soda...
I want neighbours but the state won't let me have them
Shit, my hand slipped and I hit enter by mistake. Why, lord, why?
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Oh Pauly, I LOVE your music. Especially the one about STDs. Did you write it for Paris?
I just don't have time to compliment everyone at this point, but I do have to admit being rather amused by Sybil, trollspotter, devilgirl and YOU.