Memaw Jennifer Goes For The Nuts
There was a story a few years ago of a 93-year-old memaw in Lithuania who showed a burglar what's what by grabbing on his skin berries and refusing to let go until the cops came. That story inspired Memaw "Jennifer" of Portland, Oregon to do the same thing when some nekkid ass criminal broke into her house and threw her old ass onto a chair. When the man had Jennifer on the chair, she reached around and gave him a nut job he will never forget. Vadge's ball crushing vagina must be so proud.
Sadly, Memaw Jennifer didn't pop one of his testicles, because he broke free from her hand and got away. The cops later found the nekkid moron and arrested him. They probably followed his raccoon screeches from getting his jizz bags crushed.
The punchline in this story is that the naked dude's name is Michael Dick. Michael DICK! His dick is all he would have left if Memaw Jennifer got her way.
Above is Jennifer talking about her ordeal. I love what Jennifer screamed at Michael Dick, but I think she forgot a word. She obviously threw in the "cunt" word in there somewhere. It's the official curse word for hardcore memaws.
And I hope that when I become an old lady, my house looks like that too.
Thanks Hexie
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that's great. Go Memaw!!
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 5:09pm.
Mike Dick from Blue Man Group?
from the Blue BALL Group.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
Submitted by Buck Futtah on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 11:28pm.
the dead dog on the floor is just asking to be the hot slut of the day
Okey-dokey, got my vote.
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He has seriously gone off the reservation.--callan
What kind of perv would want to do sex times with a 90 year old?That is one funky fetish.To bad she didn't do some permanent damage..the dude looks creepy.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
the dead dog on the floor is just asking to be the hot slut of the day
Portland Oregon. Man, I love my city.
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Gerard, Jude, Robert Pattinson. Rowr.
Your heart is my pinata
She forgot to kick him in the taint for good measure.
Try Typhoid Mary's delicious sugar cookies!
I need to party with her.
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"Slip me a" Mickey "so that I can deal with your face" Rourke --MK
Nothing like the 'testicle in the vice maneuver'..works everytime.
Years ago my mother kept getting this heavy breather on the phone. So one day he called and she asked him if he wanted a blow job. The dork said 'Yeah' with a little too much enthusiasm. Then she blew a whistle in his ears. Hehehe...She as so proud of herself.
He never called back.
I love how her dog is laying next to her with its faced turned away. It should be ashamed of itself for not trying to protect memaw. No treats for you, you lazy ass dog!
awwww she's so old. i love old people. makes me sad that some guy did that. no snark from me, love me some memaw!
Mike Dick from Blue Man Group?
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Nothing is more hopeless than a scheme of merriment. (SJ)
Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:39pm.
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I am curious to know... Which song by Luda were you singing?
It's New Year's so let's pass the bottle and twist the cap.
Yay! that's the greatest news I've heard in a long time. I'm so proud of her. What a cutie. That's right grab, pull and twist.
Where are a pair of fucking knitting needles when you really need them? She could of taken care of business with a simple catch, clench, pull and stab, stab, stab!!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
I just love hearing all these heartwarming stories about hardcore Memaws!
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:36pm.
Considering her arthritic hands & the inability to "unclench" easily, I'm surprised he was able to get free. I'm thinking he puuuulled free (involved a whole lot of screaming on his part) and the nuts hung for a good while making it an easy identification.
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I just flashed on Cisco Adler's nekkid pix. *shudder*
BTW: Love your festive avie.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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It's too bad she didn't rupture his nuts. Sick fucking bastard.
Michael Dick?????LMAO remember Granny, No Holds Barred GF! :)
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being a total asshole makes growing older fun.
I busted out singing some ludacris at burger king and the kids working there were like,
"WHAT?"
hee.
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Blanche and I never let them go. The basement looks like the Panama Canal from "Arsenic and Old Lace". Happy New Year....Jane Hudson.
"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."
Considering her arthritic hands & the inability to "unclench" easily, I'm surprised he was able to get free. I'm thinking he puuuulled free (involved a whole lot of screaming on his part) and the nuts hung for a good while making it an easy identification.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Funny thing is? I never thought of "Jennifer" as a granny name?!
Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:25pm.
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:23pm.
missy on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:07pm.
I love it when a CNN reporter has to say "testicles"
kinda makes my day.
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Me too. And she said "Dick" too.
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ITA. Plus, she had to say "testicles" and "Dick" in the same story.
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A promising start to the new year!
Grandmother Jennifer is my (s)hero.
That is one hot nut crushin Granny.
Go Jennifer!
Myspace and Last.fm
Submitted by zomay on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:23pm.
missy on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:07pm.
I love it when a CNN reporter has to say "testicles"
kinda makes my day.
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Me too. And she said "Dick" too.
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ITA. Plus, she had to say "testicles" and "Dick" in the same story.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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missy on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:07pm.
I love it when a CNN reporter has to say "testicles"
kinda makes my day.
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Me too. And she said "Dick" too.
The intruder's name was Michael Dick. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA. But still no one should mess with an old lady. That has to be a no no with the the woman upstairs!
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"Police say he 'matched the description'". LOL
Were there *other* naked guys traipsing around town?
=-=-="Come on, get happy!"=-=-=-
The phraseism: "Naked intruder" sealed the deal for me. lmao
Go granny!
A man broke into an old lady's house completely nakid?! What a nut job! That was very ballsy of him. It must have been a full moon that night. Dick, should be put in a box and never let out. I could keep going...LOL.
*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****
Oh, for chrissakes!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Besides being an idiotic perv, why was Dickhead out naked in the freezing cold?
Is Jennifer such a hot memaw?
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 12/31/2008 - 2:03pm.
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Happy New Year, you gorgeous bitch!!
"Well, we're outta cake!!!".....lol!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
now i can ring in my new year with a bang...go memaw for grabbing the nuts! perv should have his nuts squeezed forever....
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did you sleep with charlie the tuna last night or did you just forget to douche?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrJAgdMLsMI&feature=related
Why do so many of these fucktards have bad facial hair?
I agree MrsG! yesterday was funny- I had a blast dealing with the idiots. they are just so fucking STUPID.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally :got an excuse for Port-au-Prince? Can you even tell me where it is without Googling it?
Submitted by carebearloves on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 5:46pm.
its a person from france.
I love it when a CNN reporter has to say "testicles"
kinda makes my day.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
From what I can tell from reading the news, he was able to bust in on her all nekkid without being seen by neighbors because it was 6:30 in the morning and still dark outside.
That was gangsta.
sick. sick sick sick. why would someone ever do that to an old lady. Good for her!
THAT. KICKED. ASS.
Yeah, Granny! You go, girl!
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
Here's the news story:
http://www.kptv.com/news/18381560/detail.html
PSL every time I read your siggie i crack up ...yesterday was a funny day
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Christmas is over :(
Crazy old bat. Keep your door locked!!
Tim Allen's last name was DICK before he changed it. Absolutely no good comes from someone with a name like MICHAEL DICK.
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You better watch out, you better not cry.
Happy New Year trailer trash!!!!
I expect more beaver shots from y'all in my mailbox in 2009!! Dont disappoint!
and FIRST!!!!!! :o) No od's or alky poisoning!! You know who that is directed at! All of you!
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Way to go grandma jenny!