A Blue Man And A High School Principal Walk Into A Park....
UPDATE: Before you start to read this shit, a rep for Blue Man Group told TMZ that the dude in this story is lying and he's not a member of their group of blue men who throw toilet paper rolls at audience members. The police in Chicago said that dumb dumbs lie on their arrest reports all the time and they haven't done a background check on the possibly faux Blue Man yet. Maybe he meant Blew Man? That would make more sense. It's still fucking hilarious because who pretends to be a Blue Man? The dude's real name is probably Tobias Funke. And now here's the original story:
File this under: This shit was made for puns. PUNS!!!
Two dudes were busted by the cops in Chicago last night for trying to bust nuts in a public park. One of the men is an actor in Blue Man Group. His name is Darren Stephens. Samantha, come get this bitch! Endora does not approve.
The other dude's name is Michael Pressler and he's an assistant principal at Maine East High School. Wiki says the high school's color is blue and their mascot is the Blue Demon. Don't you love it when these things write themselves?
According to the Daily Herald, the Blow Blue Man was caught blowing the assistant principal on a park bench at a lakefront park on Chicago's North Side at around 5:45pm. They were arrested and charged with getting sexay while on Chicago Park property.
Get ready to hit the gong..... Obviously, both dudes were left with a serious case of "blue" balls. GONG!
Seriously, who the fuck sucks dick at 5:45pm on a park bench? Don't look at me! Don't! If you need to get dirty at 5:45 in the evening, take your act to a bush, a public bathroom or even a sewer tunnel (don't judge). Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!
And it's a shame that Darren Stephens wasn't arrested in his Blue Man makeup. That mug shot would rival all fucking mug shots.
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Principal's fav psychedelic band: Blue Cheer.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 2:02pm.
Submitted by followthisbeat75 on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 1:59pm.
ok, so I dont know if any of you have been to chicago around this time of year, but it's fucking cold! I mean like arctic cold or something...
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He was trying to heat him up via some forced hot air blown through his main vent.
And I was waiting for a mugshot on TSG.
How the hell havent I heard of this? Maine East is a pretty good school I figured I would have heard this from somewhere else not Dlisted lol
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Christmas is over :(
Interesting that Mr. Presley made "Blue Christmas" famous and then Mr. Pressler took the concept a step further.
Ain't surprising...Aren't those Blue Man group guys famous for banging pipes and shit?
The Blue man Blew the Principle Pressler
I know there's a limerick in here somewhere ..
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Ok who drank my Vodka! Dammit!
He was just giving him a blue rinse.
:P
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Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.
Hmmmm I think he blew his cover!
Things heard in the park that day:
"Mommy, what is that blue man doing to that white man?".
Oh, and speaking of pervy principals.... I went to an evangelical Christian school for six years. The really bad kids got paddled with a wooden paddle, pants down, by the principal. I never heard of a girl getting paddled, but a couple boys in my class did. He seemed like a nice guy, but you never know...
As a parent nowadays, I would KILL someone who made my child pull down her pants and lean over their desk for a wooden paddle. That is kinky sex, not punishment.
wrong
http://cbs2chicago.com/local/blue.man.group.2.896892.html
Contrary to a previous report, Stephens "is not and never was" a member of the Blue Man Group, according to Chicago Blue Man Group spokesman Nick Harkin.
It's all become painfully clear to the principal's wife why he only buys her blue lingerie.
Missy, LOL!
Submitted by followthisbeat75 on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 1:59pm.
ok, so I dont know if any of you have been to chicago around this time of year, but it's fucking cold! I mean like arctic cold or something...
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For Chicago in winter, it was warmish yesterday. I think it got in to the low 40's.
Maybe they can work this into their act somehow.
the princals wife kept finding blue smudged on his collar
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
ok, so I dont know if any of you have been to chicago around this time of year, but it's fucking cold! I mean like arctic cold or something...
I bet this is some crazy marketing scheme made up by the Blue Man Group to get publicity.
Submitted by madam s. on Tue, 12/30/2008 - 1:55pm.
This story is so delightfully Tobias Funke that I can't believe my eyes.
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LOL, between your and butterhead's posts, I was thinking, "This is Tobias' big chance!".
The VP tried to deny it, but the blue ring around his *ahem* collar gave him away.
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Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.
Oh damn this is a fake story?! I was so happy thinking it was true! Is there anything to believe on anymore!?! *weeps*
See? That's why you gotta come out the closet. All that repressed sexual tension makes you do stupid shit. I can't wait for the day Tommy Gurl and Gayvolta get busted sucking each other's peens. Escandalo!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!" MK 12.30.08
I live very close to where they were busted .. and I can assure you that that the lakefront park - all along Chicago - is JAMMED with people at that hour, no matter what the weather or temperature. It is a major running route, cross country skiing (when there is snow), walking, bike riding, roller-blading - you name it! ... It is anything BUT private. ... Blow jobs at 5:45pm on a park bench right there is just BEGGING to be busted! ... How insane. ... quite amusing story though. ... but their incognito schtick is OVAH.
Is every fucking person in charge of children a pervert???
Actually, I am not calling this principal a pervert because he's gay. And apparently he's into public sex, not children.
But still...
Police were able to identify the principal by his blue dick.
Damn.
The Blue Man Group denies that Darren Stephens is not and has never been a member of Blue Man
This story is so delightfully Tobias Funke that I can't believe my eyes.
He's not even in Blue Man Group, clearly he made it up just for attention.
"Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!"
Bwhahahahahahahahaha*couhgs*hahahwbwahaha
New siggie!
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
Worst case of blue balls ever.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
I've often said that these guys look like overgrown blow pops.
Geez guys, I know it's chicago, but there are OTHER ways to keep warm.
I mentioned this earlier. I knew MK was going to post this. lol
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You got your problems, I got my hash pipe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba_NNKyUwEE
You should never toss Papa Smurf's salad while picnicking.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Got a story to beat this:
When I was growing up in North Carolina a high school principal (male) from a nearby town was arrested in another nearby town's park for soliciting sex from an undercover male cop.
The kicker?
The principal was in drag when arrested.
Blue Men Have Needs just like everyone else.
Sounds like racial profiling. Always arresting the Blue Guy.
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We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to time
Reliving in our eloquence
Another auld lang syne...
Blue Man Group, George Michael(Bluth), Salem 13's avatar...I miss Arrested Development.
Awwww, he shouldn't be embarrassed. He should just whore out some new lube "Blue Man Goo". It's way more affordable than the diamond encrusted (ew) vibrator.
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If you don't leave so I can spend some quality time with my man, next I'll show you my pooter.
A whole new meaning to haivng a "Blue Christmas."
*****
~~not quite a Britaloonie~~
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
"YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE MY NUTS."-ShamWow Vince
LMAO at the tag "George Michael"!!!
"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!
*Rushes over to the Tribune to see if they picked up the story*
That shit is classic!
Dumbasses.
"If you need to get dirty at 5:45 in the evening, take your act to a bush.."
I thought that sucking dick kind of cancels out the need of bush.
Is that the actual blue man they're speaking of?
Myspace more importantly Last.fm
erm also NOT gangsta.
I wonder if he blue himself?
I bet you he felt like a fuckin idiot.
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We worship a dancing peanut, for corn’s sake!
He looks like me one night after drinking Rumpel Mintz and eating chili.