A Blue Man And A High School Principal Walk Into A Park....
UPDATE: Before you start to read this shit, a rep for Blue Man Group told TMZ that the dude in this story is lying and he's not a member of their group of blue men who throw toilet paper rolls at audience members. The police in Chicago said that dumb dumbs lie on their arrest reports all the time and they haven't done a background check on the possibly faux Blue Man yet. Maybe he meant Blew Man? That would make more sense. It's still fucking hilarious because who pretends to be a Blue Man? The dude's real name is probably Tobias Funke. And now here's the original story:
File this under: This shit was made for puns. PUNS!!!
Two dudes were busted by the cops in Chicago last night for trying to bust nuts in a public park. One of the men is an actor in Blue Man Group. His name is Darren Stephens. Samantha, come get this bitch! Endora does not approve.
The other dude's name is Michael Pressler and he's an assistant principal at Maine East High School. Wiki says the high school's color is blue and their mascot is the Blue Demon. Don't you love it when these things write themselves?
According to the Daily Herald, the
Blow Blue Man was caught blowing the assistant principal on a park bench at a lakefront park on Chicago's North Side at around 5:45pm. They were arrested and charged with getting sexay while on Chicago Park property.
Get ready to hit the gong..... Obviously, both dudes were left with a serious case of "blue" balls. GONG!
Seriously, who the fuck sucks dick at 5:45pm on a park bench? Don't look at me! Don't! If you need to get dirty at 5:45 in the evening, take your act to a bush, a public bathroom or even a sewer tunnel (don't judge). Bench sucking is only for after midnight. Dumb blue motherfucker!
And it's a shame that Darren Stephens wasn't arrested in his Blue Man makeup. That mug shot would rival all fucking mug shots.