Kill The Blog | Dlisted

Lohan-Noooooooooo! Hasn't the internet been through enough?! I mean, 2 Girls 1 Cup, Cheetah Lady, (don't click on this ---->) 1 Guy 1 Cup (<---don't!), and now Michael Lohan's blog!

Yes, the SamRo hating, penis-necked daddy of HoHan has built his own crackhouse on the internet so that he can "set the record straight." I love how he's trying to make things "straight" while wearing a turtleneck, fancy loafers and a cell phone clipped to his waistband. Very straight.

And in that picture above, why oh why couldn't an out-of-control semi truck driven by his drunk daughter come careening around the corner to knock that cell phone out of his waistband. You know how I feel about that.

Michael Lohan says his new blog is not about HoHan or SamRo. His new blog is about GOD! But if SamRo or HoHan talk about him in the media, he'll use his new blog to trash them right back. It sounds like even Inside Edition got sick of giving this asshole a soap box to rant on, so he's taken his act to the internet.

Here's a small piece from his first post. Remember, his blog is not about his daughter:

What this website will bring to you is the TRUTH! Facts, most of which can and will be cooperated.

I know a lot of people like to “feed the fire" and then hide behind a false name, anonymity or represent themselves as a “source,” a "close friend," or an "insider." But in truth, when it comes down to it, you aren't fooling anyone but yourselves. Instead of looking from the outside in, you need to be looking within first.

It’s easy to point fingers and be judgmental. The hard part is looking in the mirror and judging oneself. So please keep these things in mind, before you comment.

Okay, so here we go...
Today, on TMZ, my darling daughter Lindsay was asked for a comment in response to me saying, "Samantha is on drugs!"

Lindsay’s only response was, “look at him!”

WOW! Linds, how forthright! Let me ask you; was it me who was actually pictured in the train station with a bag full of prescription drugs? Do you see me out partying with Lindsay, my other children or having raging wars with her? Was it me who jumped out of a DJ booth and punched Lindsay when she was with Calum Best? Did I drive Lindsay around for hours in LA until she fell asleep and before I ran low on gas only to call the paps and sell pictures to them? Uh uh!

And he's dragging White Oprah into this! White Oprah better pull out her Hooters Mastercard and purchase WhiteOprah.org so that she can join the Lohan family blog wars.

I'm probably not enjoying Michael's blog as much as I should be, because I'm sober. After downing a few bottles of Bartles & Jaymes, I'll read this shit again and I'll probably give him a standing ovation at the end. I will admit that the Bible verses are a nice touch. His blog is the definition of "fuckery!"

Posted by: Michael K

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Look Who It Is • Trash

Submitted by Triscuit on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:19pm.

Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:04pm.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
**gives evilshoe the BIG side~eye!**

ugh,it is nasty and cold here.THAT is "fuckery"!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:15pm.

I am assuming the one video is that guy who picks broken glass out of his ass--no need for me to see it again. I was wondering how long it would take to get wider notice...

dalo? Not gonna do it...

Submitted by Triscuit on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:11pm.

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:04pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I would give my left nut(if I had one)to meet you sluts "in real life".
We would take over this fucked up ass world(and make it ours=worse?)Hahhahhaaaa♥

Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:07pm.

"Penis-necked" is the funniest thing I've read all day!

Now, I hate all the Lohans, but I have special hatred for the parents, because they are setting the example for their children. He and WO are the last people on earth to be having and attempting to raise children.

See why I totally hate the pressure for people to have children? When there is this great societal pressure for people to "settle down and start a family", people like the Lohans and Casey Anthony wind up as parents. How is that good for society? How well did any of their children turn out?

Submitted by Aunt Bea on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:07pm.

Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:04pm.

I would but there is a lounge chair in the sun calling my name.

------------------------------------------------

Good for you! Soak some sun for me, as it is pouring where I am.

Submitted by Triscuit on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:06pm.

Submitted by t_stain on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 2:52pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
seriously.
Didn't Major Douche just come out having an "illegitimate" child?
Why couldn't have that dude in Philly shot his ass?!
This cruel,cruel world we live in!

Submitted by meanlittlebumblebee on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:06pm.

that video made me cry a little. now i can't get up.
----------------------

Ummm...wHat?

Submitted by Hysteria on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:06pm.

he's sunken to unchartered depths of doucheness

Submitted by Jan_In_The_Pan on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:05pm.

I'm just glad all of this can be "cooperated"..

Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:04pm.

Submitted by Aunt Bea on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 2:58pm.

Please tell me that some of you are going to his live chat?
____________________________________________

I would but there is a lounge chair in the sun calling my name.

Later whores!

Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:04pm.

Looks like Sears does full length photos now.
Love the fake fall leaves background.
*round house kick to his peenal area*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:04pm.

high-five, Triscuit

and yeah, not clicking on any of the fine links while scarfing late breakfast.

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:02pm.

"And in that picture above, why oh why couldn't an out-of-control semi truck driven by his drunk daughter come careening around the corner to knock that cell phone out of his waistband."

You paint the most beautiful word pictures, Mr. MK, seriously :)

Submitted by sjsmitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:02pm.

omfg that 1 guy video
wtf

Submitted by Triscuit on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 2:59pm.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
MK~ you just made my awfully,miserable existence meaningful.I♥your slutty ass.

Submitted by Aunt Bea on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 2:58pm.

Please tell me that some of you are going to his live chat?

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 2:58pm.

How very eye-for-an-eye of penis neck. Aren't christians all about turning the other cheek? Oh nevermind, too little coffee for this right now...

Submitted by EvilShoe on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 2:55pm.

Wow, you don't have to register to post on his blog. *evil grin*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dick happens! - MK

Submitted by Aunt Bea on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 2:53pm.

This is one crazy family. What puzzles me is why don't they just go away?

Submitted by t_stain on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 2:52pm.

"Whether you realize it or not, this website is about getting people involved in a positive way, while leading them to the Truth, which in essence, is God. For those of you who choose to denounce or blasphemy the Word or Spirit of God, be very careful, because he sees, knows and judges your heart. (1 Samuel 16:7)."
-Shit can Lohan

This bitch has a lot of nerve. Honestly?