Kill The Blog
Lohan-Noooooooooo! Hasn't the internet been through enough?! I mean, 2 Girls 1 Cup, Cheetah Lady, (don't click on this ---->) 1 Guy 1 Cup (<---don't!), and now Michael Lohan's blog!
Yes, the SamRo hating, penis-necked daddy of HoHan has built his own crackhouse on the internet so that he can "set the record straight." I love how he's trying to make things "straight" while wearing a turtleneck, fancy loafers and a cell phone clipped to his waistband. Very straight.
And in that picture above, why oh why couldn't an out-of-control semi truck driven by his drunk daughter come careening around the corner to knock that cell phone out of his waistband. You know how I feel about that.
Michael Lohan says his new blog is not about HoHan or SamRo. His new blog is about GOD! But if SamRo or HoHan talk about him in the media, he'll use his new blog to trash them right back. It sounds like even Inside Edition got sick of giving this asshole a soap box to rant on, so he's taken his act to the internet.
Here's a small piece from his first post. Remember, his blog is not about his daughter:
What this website will bring to you is the TRUTH! Facts, most of which can and will be cooperated.I know a lot of people like to “feed the fire" and then hide behind a false name, anonymity or represent themselves as a “source,” a "close friend," or an "insider." But in truth, when it comes down to it, you aren't fooling anyone but yourselves. Instead of looking from the outside in, you need to be looking within first.
It’s easy to point fingers and be judgmental. The hard part is looking in the mirror and judging oneself. So please keep these things in mind, before you comment.
Okay, so here we go...
Today, on TMZ, my darling daughter Lindsay was asked for a comment in response to me saying, "Samantha is on drugs!"Lindsay’s only response was, “look at him!”
WOW! Linds, how forthright! Let me ask you; was it me who was actually pictured in the train station with a bag full of prescription drugs? Do you see me out partying with Lindsay, my other children or having raging wars with her? Was it me who jumped out of a DJ booth and punched Lindsay when she was with Calum Best? Did I drive Lindsay around for hours in LA until she fell asleep and before I ran low on gas only to call the paps and sell pictures to them? Uh uh!
And he's dragging White Oprah into this! White Oprah better pull out her Hooters Mastercard and purchase WhiteOprah.org so that she can join the Lohan family blog wars.
I'm probably not enjoying Michael's blog as much as I should be, because I'm sober. After downing a few bottles of Bartles & Jaymes, I'll read this shit again and I'll probably give him a standing ovation at the end. I will admit that the Bible verses are a nice touch. His blog is the definition of "fuckery!"
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Submitted by KatieScarlett on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:48pm.
The mother is one of those stage mother's that live through their kids. Danny Bonaduce had a show on VH1 about the next child star or something to that affect. The mother's were horrid. There was one, "Rocky" her child should have been taken from her and yet they gave the nut an award on one of those stupid reality tv award shows.
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Bye! Good
Does this man do *anything* other than live vicariously through his "fallen" daughter, fight with his ex-wife and scream "GOD" at everyone like a deranged street-corner minister? I wonder if he secretly thanks His Lord and Saviour that he's a fucked-up failure as a father. I mean, if he was normal, what else would he have to pontificate on/rail against?
Why is he referring to Lindsay in the third person when he's addressing her? Is he crazy? Is he talking to his imaginary friend? WAIT! Am *I* his imaginary friend? LOL!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
YAY! Brangelina's OUT! and the Hohans are IN! YAY!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Celebrity families like this should like manna from heaven to you, MK. It'd be perfect if it was those Hiltons, but Lindsay will do.
Lol I like how perez calls people "closet smokers" just because HE never noticed them smoking before.
And I know she supposedly is clean now, but I don't buy that. I think she is at least boozing. She doesn't look good at all to me.
Hopefully Lindsay one day will clean herself up and make good movies again . I really don't think she is done. She was too good to be done. She will only be done I think if she stays on drugs or if she really wants to be done. But I think she always has a place in Hollywood if she wants one, because she was such a good actress.
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:25pm.
Thanks, madam s! You described the scene well enough that I am nauseated. AND you did it like a lady.
EDIT: My bad, you did say he filmed himself.
And I am so grossed out right now!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Oh Angelica, that would make my New Year if that happened!
I loved LIndsay as an actress when I saw mean girls. And I saw Freaky Friday after that (I have seen the original in elementary school many times) and I thought wow she is really good. Well, at least I thought she was good for a new star.
Perez posted this gem that Crazy Whore Papa Lohan wrote:
"If one more blog or statement is made people will know the entire truth. I will release emails, texts, depositions and audio tapes that will prove everything I have been saying all along. If Sam wants to play, I am ready. But she better be ready too!"
Please God let Samantha post something about that douchebag! I'd LOVE to hear/see what he has!! As much as I want them all to disappear forever... I'm still curious.
Submitted by Aunt Bea on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:42pm.
Submitted by Buggerem on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:38pm.
Yes and when they dragged that poor woman in who lost her daughter and Ali wrote and sang a song about her, made me sick. Talk about exploitation.
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That's the one I saw! Wow. Who told that little 40 year old she can sing?
Good afternoon dlisters:) I will heed the warnings and not go click-happy. It's not worth it evidently LOL
OT This kind of shit really makes me feel sorry for Blowhan. Those kids never had a chance for normalcy. Fuck, even the Spears parents try to get along[not that I am excusing them at ALL]. I don't know who is worse, Orange Oprah or Straight Daddy.
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
2007~It was a truly magical time in Shitneyland.
"jim is our Dollar Store version of commingback." -christine the hoff 12/04/2008
ugh NO Aunt Bea can't say that I have. but I just remember Linsday being so cute as a child and so talented... The parents seem like money hungry
people. I mean Ali does not sing or act.. what does she do? Mom just pimps her out to do....??
Mom acts like she is a star... If you ever see pics of her before the big do and all she was a normal LI mom
I just got up, went to the store to catch some sales, went to the market to get some food, and every time I saw a mason jar...I had horrible horrible flashbacks of what I saw earlier this morning when I clicked on that link and had to use all my willpower no to run out the store in hysteria.....
why o why did i click that link.....ugh *retching*
0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0-o-0
The past is lost but something might be found to take its place...
I didn't see that one bea, I saw one I remember about her getting a dog. And one about her brother and his gf meeting the rest of them. I guess I didn't see the bad ones lol.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Buggerem on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:38pm.
Yes and when they dragged that poor woman in who lost her daughter and Ali wrote and sang a song about her, made me sick. Talk about exploitation.
I have Comcast and it doesn't matter a lot of times when this stuff is on, I have On demand and a lot of times these reality shows are on demand.
Dear God, Hi it's me zomay. I was wondering if you received my prayer about getting this guy away from all computers. I believe his rants about nothing are causing harm to the wellbeing of all humanity. Please let him know he needs to stop. Thankyou for everything. Love zomay.
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Submitted by Aunt Bea on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:38pm.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:37pm.
It was on E! but I'm not sure if it's still on, The Denise Richards show was on either before or after it, another trainwreck.
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Got it. That one I did see for about three minutes then got pissed because that was three minutes off my life I can't get back. I thought you guys were talking about her talk show. I know she had said she was going to get one. Thought maybe she had and I missed it.
Perhaps he should learn the difference between "cooperated" and corroborated. Not the brightest card in the deck now is he.
Living Lohan is possibly one of the most delusional shows ever "made". I swear - Ali sitting on her bed, discussing "her music" and "her work" with some producer.
Finger down throat time.
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AussieBuggerIsRealBitches
Living lohan or something, ON E. I don't know about new episodes...but i'm sure you can find reruns. I think it's on E.
Submitted by Sugaroo on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:37pm.
It was on E! but I'm not sure if it's still on, The Denise Richards show was on either before or after it, another trainwreck.
Where is White Oprah's show? I have got to see this train wreck!
♥SmOOOtcheS♥
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
I could be way off though.
Sheeps,
My nana... Bread 'n Butter. The guy in the video? More of a Gherkin man.
I've watched white oprah's show, I gotta say that Michael is way crazier. Dina looks way way way more sane. I don't know if she uses her daughters for money, probably does, but I think she has their best interest in mind more than he does.
Yeah, do that. Not for the squeamish. Just had to go rinse my eyeballs out.
Submitted by twitle d on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:54pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:31pm.
===Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau ???
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LOL! They are married now so my guess would be Barbara Bush and Dick Cheney.
Submitted by Deb on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:55pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
♥
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"I say get it, ride it,suck it,slap it,dump it and then get a new one" MK 12/20/08
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
I'll just pass it on by, Leash. Thanks. Ugh.
I need ice cream.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"dick and chips"..MK
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Sug, yes indeedy-doo it is. Un-fucking-believable.
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:27pm.
Submitted by Triscuit on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:53pm.
DListed hos-Can you guys give me some off topic space? You all know me,so just let me and my Latin Lovah converse on here for a bit 'cause we got all fucked up in"real life". Okay?
===Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau ???
Submitted by Sheeps on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:27pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
nevermind.got caught by the warden.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"dick and chips: a perfect combination" MK
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2qmznwcVOA
Leash, is it what you said? A guy with a jar in his bunghole?
Sugaroo, don't go there. I stopped half-way through.
How dare you force me to click that link. Christmas is ruined.
http://doodlewhore.com/
http://www.handsomedevilpress.com
Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:25pm.
Dill or gherkin?
Submitted by KatieScarlett on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:25pm.
If you've ever watched White Oprah's reality show you will know how sick these people are and why Lindsay is the way she is.
Submitted by Triscuit on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 3:53pm.
DListed hos-Can you guys give me some off topic space? You all know me,so just let me and my Latin Lovah converse on here for a bit 'cause we got all fucked up in"real life". Okay?
OK. *putting on cassette of Samba Pa' Ti, quietly going out, shutting door*
I clicked away juuust in time.
Submitted by breaktheleash on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 4:25pm.
Thats' a real link????? Oh no. Must. Not. Watch.
Poor Lindsay.. poor Lohan children... two really screwed up people as parents .. Poor parenting can really mess a kid up ..
Deb,
Well.... I don't think there is a ladylike way to go about this: Once upon a time there was a nude man. A very sick, self-hating, exhibitionist nude man. One day this nude man decided to videotape himself sort of... swallowing... a mason jar with his anus. (Grandma's homemade jarred pickles will never be the same for me). Then, unfortunately for this sick, self-hating nude man, the jar breaks inside of him and blood begins to pour out of his ass as he attempts to fish out glass shards.
The rest of this fairy tale is unknown to me because I couldn't go on. You'll have to pen the rest of this adventure from your imagination or click on the link. (Don't).