Kill The Blog
Lohan-Noooooooooo! Hasn't the internet been through enough?! I mean, 2 Girls 1 Cup, Cheetah Lady, (don't click on this ---->) 1 Guy 1 Cup (<---don't!), and now Michael Lohan's blog!
Yes, the SamRo hating, penis-necked daddy of HoHan has built his own crackhouse on the internet so that he can "set the record straight." I love how he's trying to make things "straight" while wearing a turtleneck, fancy loafers and a cell phone clipped to his waistband. Very straight.
And in that picture above, why oh why couldn't an out-of-control semi truck driven by his drunk daughter come careening around the corner to knock that cell phone out of his waistband. You know how I feel about that.
Michael Lohan says his new blog is not about HoHan or SamRo. His new blog is about GOD! But if SamRo or HoHan talk about him in the media, he'll use his new blog to trash them right back. It sounds like even Inside Edition got sick of giving this asshole a soap box to rant on, so he's taken his act to the internet.
Here's a small piece from his first post. Remember, his blog is not about his daughter:
What this website will bring to you is the TRUTH! Facts, most of which can and will be cooperated.I know a lot of people like to “feed the fire" and then hide behind a false name, anonymity or represent themselves as a “source,” a "close friend," or an "insider." But in truth, when it comes down to it, you aren't fooling anyone but yourselves. Instead of looking from the outside in, you need to be looking within first.
It’s easy to point fingers and be judgmental. The hard part is looking in the mirror and judging oneself. So please keep these things in mind, before you comment.
Okay, so here we go...
Today, on TMZ, my darling daughter Lindsay was asked for a comment in response to me saying, "Samantha is on drugs!"Lindsay’s only response was, “look at him!”
WOW! Linds, how forthright! Let me ask you; was it me who was actually pictured in the train station with a bag full of prescription drugs? Do you see me out partying with Lindsay, my other children or having raging wars with her? Was it me who jumped out of a DJ booth and punched Lindsay when she was with Calum Best? Did I drive Lindsay around for hours in LA until she fell asleep and before I ran low on gas only to call the paps and sell pictures to them? Uh uh!
And he's dragging White Oprah into this! White Oprah better pull out her Hooters Mastercard and purchase WhiteOprah.org so that she can join the Lohan family blog wars.
I'm probably not enjoying Michael's blog as much as I should be, because I'm sober. After downing a few bottles of Bartles & Jaymes, I'll read this shit again and I'll probably give him a standing ovation at the end. I will admit that the Bible verses are a nice touch. His blog is the definition of "fuckery!"
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Submitted by TITS on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:00pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 8:36pm.
Meh, the comments on his blog have to be "approved".
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Bugger! I was looking forward to your remarks.
I think he's turned off comments, there haven't been any new ones in hours. He's probably spent the last few hours trying to figure out how to delete the old ones he doesn't like.
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Yeah, he was getting ripped left and right, so I tried to give him some CHRISTIAN love by giving San Ro and Lindz some CHRISTIAN HATE, but no...
Sadly, there are no CHRISTIAN postings on Mikie's site...not even during xmas times...sadness....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
He looks like he's blowing a fart.
Submitted by RJII on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 9:18pm.
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You just knew he was planning on pulling the jar out by the lid. He really should have popped a couple air holes in that lid before he tried that. Amateur.
MK, the bloody ass guy has really disturbed me for the evening. why not use plastic? why?
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Is it Jan 20 yet?
The emails dont bounce. I have to agree tho, hes like a troll. Ignore him and he will go away.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 8:36pm.
Meh, the comments on his blog have to be "approved".
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Bugger! I was looking forward to your remarks.
I think he's turned off comments, there haven't been any new ones in hours. He's probably spent the last few hours trying to figure out how to delete the old ones he doesn't like.
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
Submitted by DeeDee on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 8:55pm.
Don't be surprised if a video pops on the internets. Michael looks a bit to attached to his cell phone on his belt.
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Unfortunately, the worst thing that could happen is he'd get his prostate tickled if he got a call. Do they make glass cellphones? Get on that, wwould you? lol
Submitted by NitWitty on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 8:51pm.
I just wish it would have been Michael Lohan's home video.
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Don't be surprised if a video pops on the internets. Michael looks a bit to attached to his cell phone on his belt.
DeeDee, scrub away. It will come back to you when you close your eyes tonight. On the flip side, don't think homeboy will be putting anything up there again for a while. I just wish it would have been Michael Lohan's home video.
OMG! Why oh why did I click that link? *scrubbing eyes with Clorox* I can never unsee this!
I remember back in the day, movie actresses were famous for making movies. Now they're famous for blogging, crazy parents, partying and rehab. Is that lucrative?
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"I was thinking of getting me a career in pictures." - Theodore Bagwell
Jeans with black loafers is such a fashion faux pas.
How gauche.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
He needs to stfu. Stop trying to make money off Blohan.
Follow Inside Edition's lead and stop giving this fool a forum for his pathetic BS.
PS dont give a rats ass about blohard Lohan. The man needs to start acting like one.
I didnt get to the breaking or the bleeding. I saw plenty ty.
Is it wrong that I was totally ok with him sitting on a jar but totally skeeved out by the stretch marks and saggy skin on his ass?
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 7:34pm.
Bwahahaha!! I was feeling charitable tonight and gave him the benefit of the doubt.
He gets the chick action. He must have something goin for him. ??? Can't imagine what.
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I swear, some people should not be allowed to leave the comfort of their own padded room.-MK
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 7:46pm.
The comments on that blog aren't censored,.... yet.
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Oh.No.You.Di'nt.
TITS IS A HWAT SLUT! Ok, gonna have me some din-dins then head on over....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I'm glad the Lohans can each have their own websites so that they can reply to one another. Matbe they should each have their own laptop with them we they congregate at family gatherings. Douches.
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The comments on that blog aren't censored,.... yet.
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
This would make a great segment for a debunking show.
Submitted by jiggywiddit on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 7:31pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 7:12pm.
Does anyone wonder how much meat Daddy Lohan is packing in his dad jeans?
Think Chyna's clit.
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He's THAT well hung? Wow!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
The ass glass guy looks like he had all sorts of scarring 'down there'. I know there is a psychological phenomenen that involves compulsive self-cutting, but my best guess is this guy is a performance artist. Its not exactly 'put a ring on it', but surely there is an audience for this sort of thing... ;)
I thought the calmness of the glass-picking seemed quite odd, and it sort of made it look like its what he had planned all along--or was some sort of psycho. OTOH, when the colon gets punctured, the poo gets in the abdomen, and the grim reaper is rushing to the door unless one gets all sewed up at the hospital--and even then....
So, I am sort of thinking the dude may have staged this with a plastic cup or some such. A glass jar like that with its lid on would be extremely difficult to crush with a circular muscle like the sphincter--especially when it is stretched out like that.
So, yeah, it gave me the creeps for a bit, but upon reflection, I think I've been had...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 7:12pm.
Does anyone wonder how much meat Daddy Lohan is packing in his dad jeans?
Think Chyna's clit.
I'm pretty sure she borrows it from MLo.
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I swear, some people should not be allowed to leave the comfort of their own padded room.-MK
"Mazel Tov!" Screams the groom as he crushes the glass!
"Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 7:12pm.
Does anyone wonder how much meat Daddy Lohan is packing in his dad jeans? Anyone? Anyone?"
That's why I like Chelsea Handler's spoofs on him -- she always focuses on how he showcases his nutsack.
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"Men are more interesting in books than they are in real life" ~~ Isola Pribby
i like the backdrop it matches michaels reddish hue
Sadly, I don't think this is fake either.
Please don't ask me why. Kthnx:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Oh Em Gee! I'm so glad I ate already cause that was some sick shit!
i think 1 guy 1 cup is fake, the blood seems too thick and the guy doesnt even show any sign of pain when he pulls the glass pieces out of his ass
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One dollar for eternal happiness?
I'd be happier with the dollar...
lol If I passed that on to family, they'd all fly to my state just to kill me. As it is, I think my best friend my fly to kill me too. Hey, in my defense though, I made my daughter leave the room. Anything Michael K posts is never appropriate for her to see.
Does anyone wonder how much meat Daddy Lohan is packing in his dad jeans? Anyone? Anyone? OK, how about Daddy Spears? Any...Ok, I'll stop...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by cherryfries on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 6:55pm.
That 1 Guy 1 Cup thing was just wrong on so many levels. As such, I passed it on to my best friend.
hahahaha. Don't stop there! Maybe your family hasn't heard from you much over the holidays?
O. MY. GOD! You can't imagine how much I wish you were sitting here with me right now, MK, so I could whack you FUCKING HARD with a rolled up newspaper! BAD BOY!
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
uhhh....god. im throwing up right now. i want to see his face!
The glass breaks and he just starts to pull the glass out while blood pools on the floor. He doesn't scream or anything, he just calmly takes it out. WTF? Stupidity at its greatest.
Why do I always feel compelled to watch the things Michael K puts up even though he tells us not to? That 1 Guy 1 Cup thing was just wrong on so many levels. As such, I passed it on to my best friend.
someone has to tell me what happens at the end of the disgusting video. i got to the glass breaking but just couldnt do anymore. but im such a creep that ive been thinking about that fucker all day. so...what happens to him!?!?!?!
I'm really starting to feel bad for Lindsay. We all have disfunction of some sort in our families. This man is out of his mind. Can't blame her for trying to cut him off and out of her life.
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http://fuzzygalore.buzznet.com
I consider it a sign of class and elegance when a lady DOESN'T draw attention to her snatchal region.
He looks like a Sims 2 character in that picture, hahaha!
Why do I click on anything in here?
OMG >gaaaagg< I clicked on the link! I ran out the room when I saw red...
{This message was brought to you my the letters: STFU}
Say something nice: um, ok, he's not wearing CROCS.
Question: what does he mean when he says the facts will be cooperated?
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because of the fact that he works for me, a woman of power,...he came back to LAPD later and they told him to fold up his police report into a origami and hang it on his door.--CLove
Zomay, I feel pretty sure God not only heard your prayer, but would probably suggest that no one in the immediate vicinity of Michael Lohan will be safe any time soon. As in "lightning bolt" or "sudden electrical accident." Perhaps next time he turns his computer on ...
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"Men are more interesting in books than they are in real life" ~~ Isola Pribby
Madam S -- thank you for that summary. I clicked on the video briefly, but got so freaked out by what I knew was approaching that I just got the hell out of there -- although I did hear glass breaking as I closed the window. GAAAAAAAAAHHH.
The only worse video I've seen was of the guy who got done in by a horse's wang bone in Washington State. Many moons back, someone on here posted a link to it, and it was truly one of the creepiest things I've ever seen. It was like being a witness to an execution.
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"Men are more interesting in books than they are in real life" ~~ Isola Pribby
You know hot in Hollywood they basically give celebretards awards for basically doing nothing but they hand them out anyway? Well they need to have the Shut the Fuck Up awards. This guy would win.
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"This is why I beat hookers" - Tig from Sons of Anarchy
Every time I look at this King of All Douches, I want to punch him. Same feeling I get when looking at Heidi & Spencer.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Why? Why? WHY the fuck did I click on that?? I will never be able to look at jars or the color red the same way!
Fuck!!! It is like Rice Crispies - snap, crackle, pop!
You can take the drunk out of the trailer park...
You know the rest