Courtney Love Is Entertaining
I'm sitting here sipping on some Asti like a real classy lady and catching up on all the shit I missed yesterday. I am so fucking glad I'm reading Courtney Love's latest crazy rant while riding on an Asti bubble, because it's so much more entertaining. Seriously, you would think I was watching a monkey washing a cat. This is some standing ovation shit!
Crack's finest customer spent her Christmas Eve morning going off on Kim Kardassian's brother, Rob. Court's full rant will make your eyes cross permanently if you're sober, so let me just sum it up for you. Basically, Court thinks Rob is a big gay hater, because he allegedly punched out her employee outside of Hyde in September and called him a fag. Here's a just small fix from Court's crazy party. Again, if you're sober, sip on some Listerine or rubbing alcohol before you read this shit:
Rob Kardashian the son of the discgr3aceful Robert Kardashian who represented a cold blooded murderer and made lots and lots of money..well rob jr cold socked and punched my employee right in his face for no reason and broke his nose after my GUY was hanging out with his pal Brody Jenner one night outside hyde lounge closed, then right after yelling the words "FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT!" Rob JR punched my guys in the face. My guy has 3 witnesses who saw rob jump out of the SUV and because of the fact that he works for me, a woman of power, you broke his nose and caused blood to shed, well lets fast forward shall we...the guy who works for me did not file a police report that night cause he did not need tmz's camera's outside this trendy nightclub to cause any more FUCKERY to what was suppose to be a birthday celebration, instead he came back to LAPD later and they told him to fold up his police report into a origami and hang it on his door.
If you're hanging out with that douche Brody Jenner, you deserve to get fisted in the face. And I loved that she called herself a "woman of power!" It's almost better than "businesswoman."
Court goes on to invite Rob to a night of dancing with homos, playing with make-up and ending with a little butt fuck fun with a plantain. Court is describing my New Year's evening to a fucking T. Well, except for the plantain part. I like my plantains fried, not mashed.
Kim, being the mega famewhore that she is, jumped right on this mess and responded to Court's shit on her own website. Kim wrote, "This is TOTALLY FALSE! A lot of what she wrote doesn’t even make much sense and doesn’t follow a clear train of thought... At one point she says Brody was there too and that someone yelled discriminatory expletives against gay people, but I honestly can’t figure out who she is accusing because her writing is so bad."
Kim needs to drink a full bottle of Asti and read that shit again, because I clapped at the end. I would love to watch Kim read Courtney's blog. You know her head almost popped off. Bitch probably couldn't complete the Dick and Jane books, because that shit was too complex for her, so Court's rant probably made her hair sweat.
I'm totally on Team Crazy, because if you get on her good side, she might let you pick something out of her "goody bag."
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I can't help it...love me some Courtney.
ΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨ
Skanky whores always think that looking sexy means looking like you're getting double-penetrated. -Michael K
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 11:19pm.
TL - make sure those fake chesticles are bolted on tight - she lost the last pair during her bi-annual lintosuction.
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Hey, I don't choose the seamstress...
Lintosuction...hehehehehe...
Ok, I know, Socky... Lintosuction gone wrong is no laughing matter, especially when you're the socky monkey version of Tara Reid.....*giggle*... Yeah, that bikini with that moth eaten belly was a mistake, monkey!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 11:14pm.
That's more like it...
Hey, look monkey I know you been wantin' some cashmere double D chesticals and all, so here they is...I ain't got no seamtress who can sew that shit on, but yeah, these the real deal...so Merry Xmas Monkey, you may be one Poly/Cotton bitch, but your tits is all cashmere from now on....
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*grabbing knitting needles* *doing self surgery*
*looking in the mirror* *primping & posing* Hmmmm...much betta!! Thanks, TL!
ON T: I've seen priests wearing their religious galero with a lot more klass than Courtney. !
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
TL - make sure those fake chesticles are bolted on tight - she lost the last pair during her bi-annual lintosuction.
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
It's killing me to say something nice about this cunt (because I really do believe she killed Kurt), but this is the best she's looked recently. She doesn't look quite so gaunt.
You know you're in rough shape when Kim Kardassian is criticizing your writing skills. Ugh.
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 11:05pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:58pm.
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*opening lid to hamper* *sticking out little sock monkey hand* *tossing HUGE (I mean HUGE!) bag of high grade catnip to TL* *closing lid* *mumbling* It's not poly! *sob*
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That's more like it...
Hey, look monkey I know you been wantin' some cashmere double D chesticals and all, so here they is...I ain't got no seamtress who can sew that shit on, but yeah, these the real deal...so Merry Xmas Monkey, you may be one Poly/Cotton bitch, but your tits is all cashmere from now on....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
she looks like dead goldie hawn in 'death becomes her'.
If I were a boy I'd scream like a bitch. How many fucking times can that song be on?
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:58pm.
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*opening lid to hamper* *sticking out little sock monkey hand* *tossing HUGE (I mean HUGE!) bag of high grade catnip to TL* *closing lid* *mumbling* It's not poly! *sob*
ON T: CL needs a fugface intervention.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:37pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:27pm.
You ask ME this question when there is a cerain MONKEY here who knows all about DETERGENTS cuz that lil' fuzzy slut has snorted them all! If ANY monkey has washed a pussy, it's that lil' DListed Socky fucker and I ain't sayin' I'm the pussy she washed, I'm just sayin'...meow, wittle monkey and thanks for the baf....and mewwy xmas...NOW WHERE MY NIP MONKEY????
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*sitting inside hamper* *kicking side of hamper with little sock monkey foot* *pouting & mumbling* I'm in here, and I ain't coming out!! No catnip for you!!
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OK, first of all, yo' lil' pussy washin' monkey ass ain't gettin' an attitude wif me, OKAAAAAAY? *Paw in da air*...I'm a business tiger who's a tiger of power, A'IGHT? So you may want to check yo' poly-blend monkey self ass fo you wreck that rayon mess you got goin' up under that sockie hat....You hear me? I will get my NIP, bitch, or your polyester ass will wind up in a random industrial lint trap! Yeah, I said it. I got connections like that...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
The guy's got three big butt famewhore sisters. Am I really supposed to believe he's put off by Courtney Love because she's a woman of power?
Or does it make more sense to believe that she has gotten her hands on some very high grade cocaine, for a change...?
Hmmm...decisions, decisions....
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Submitted by mike on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:46pm.
true. courtney was a death ray to kurt :(
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Submitted by Sandbitch on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:40pm.
==hahhaaaa - the closest thing to candlelight supper at my place is the smouldering of the mosquito coil. Temp hit 90 degrees today.
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Southern Hemisphere, uh? it's been boiling hot today. Poor fake ass Santas, walking around sweating like a beesh
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Oh, Santa... i've been killing just for fun..
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:23pm.
court looks like a siberian husky, but i like that she sticks up for the gays. Kardassian is 10 shades of dumb
Yeah, but really, when you have a friend in Courtney, who needs enemies?
Sheeps,
Lakers had that game.
Um, hey, what is you puttin on dat table??
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Ein Minuten, bitte. Ich habe einen kleinen Problemo avec diese Religione.
Brody is involved in many a Bromance.
The words "soaped-up" does, bare arsed gibbons not so much...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:27pm.
I just can't see our socky doing manual labour like that, she SO outsources to India... Sorry puss.
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
Submitted by Farrah on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:30pm.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Thu, 12/25/2008 -
==Thorny please, I must invite you to one of my candlelight suppers...
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Beesh, you know i luvs you, but sorry, candlelight supper... ain't gonna happen.
==hahhaaaa - the closest thing to candlelight supper at my place is the smouldering of the mosquito coil. Temp hit 90 degrees today.
Off T, but a huge lizard (bearded dragon) just Eartha Kitted (karked it) in the middle of my front lawn - which means I have to go pick it up and bury it. NOICE, VERY CHOICE. Sometimes I wish I had a bloke about to this sort of shit...
CL needs a check-up from the neck-up...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
Submitted by Thornhill on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:30pm.
what Farrah said...
*
How about you? Do soap-up, red-assed gibbons make YOUR whithers wet too?
jussayin....
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:27pm.
You ask ME this question when there is a cerain MONKEY here who knows all about DETERGENTS cuz that lil' fuzzy slut has snorted them all! If ANY monkey has washed a pussy, it's that lil' DListed Socky fucker and I ain't sayin' I'm the pussy she washed, I'm just sayin'...meow, wittle monkey and thanks for the baf....and mewwy xmas...NOW WHERE MY NIP MONKEY????
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*sitting inside hamper* *kicking side of hamper with little sock monkey foot* *pouting & mumbling* I'm in here, and I ain't coming out!! No catnip for you!!
ON T: Courtney needs a grammar & spell check assistant or something.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Brody Jenner seems like he is always up to no good.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:27pm.
hahaha! i don't know, sockey's pretty clean.
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what Farrah said...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
Submitted by Sandbitch on Thu, 12/25/2008 -
==Thorny please, I must invite you to one of my candlelight suppers...
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Beesh, you know i luvs you, but sorry, candlelight supper... ain't gonna happen.
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Oh, Santa... i've been killing just for fun..
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:19pm.
Let's ask the biggest pussy onine - TL? Thoughts? Do soaped-up red-assed gibbons make your whithers wet?
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hahaaha! that's it. a monkey scrubbing a pussy. all the food today has slowed my brain.
monkeys really do the damnest things though
.
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:19pm.
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:15pm.
i stopped on the monkey part. why would a monkey decide to wash a cat? and isn't there something vaguely sexual about that.
*
Let's ask the biggest pussy onine - TL? Thoughts? Do soaped-up red-assed gibbons make your whithers wet?
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You ask ME this question when there is a cerain MONKEY here who knows all about DETERGENTS cuz that lil' fuzzy slut has snorted them all! If ANY monkey has washed a pussy, it's that lil' DListed Socky fucker and I ain't sayin' I'm the pussy she washed, I'm just sayin'...meow, wittle monkey and thanks for the baf....and mewwy xmas...NOW WHERE MY NIP MONKEY????
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
"the fact that he works for me, a woman of power"
not that i had the energy to read through c love's crazy rantings, but who is this woman of power she is refering to?
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did you sleep with charlie the tuna last night or did you just forget to douche?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrJAgdMLsMI&feature=related
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:21pm.
Submitted by Thornhill on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:17pm.
I love the green jelly chunks in fruitcake,
*
Green jelly? pfft you wish!
==Thorny please, Maraschino cherry. I must invite you to one of my candlelight suppers...
BC Buds! Hell yeah!
Courtney Love looks like the type of person who would start eating your french fries off your plate without asking first.
court looks like a siberian husky, but i like that she sticks up for the gays. Kardassian is 10 shades of dumb
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I'm gonna email the Court and offer my services to edit her rants before she posts/abuses the planet with her anti-grammar. CC to Kanye.
Submitted by Thornhill on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:17pm.
I love the green jelly chunks in fruitcake,
*
Green jelly? pfft you wish!
Sugaroo - British Columbia... it goes without saying there was pot in the air.
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
Submitted by Hysteria on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:15pm.
i stopped on the monkey part. why would a monkey decide to wash a cat? and isn't there something vaguely sexual about that.
*
Let's ask the biggest pussy onine - TL? Thoughts? Do soaped-up red-assed gibbons make your whithers wet?
+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+~~~+
A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:09pm.
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She could be the mother for the children in the movie "Village of the Damned." Freeeaaak!
It's nice to see you, Mike!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
I love the green jelly chunks in fruitcake, Courtney not so much...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:14pm.
get this - a house a few blocks away has a snowman giving birth to a snowbaby - complete with ketchup stains.
*shudder*
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NO! By any chance, do you live in West Virginny?
Seriously?
Submitted by Clarisse on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:07pm.
Um, hey...you, uh, watching the Cavs game?????
No, but the Lakers put down the Celtics..... Merry Xmas, C! I'm off to set the table. *slurp*
TITS what are you talking about?
Courtney needs to get herself straight. Maybe go on intervention.
She stopped typing after "discgr3aceful" and had someone transcribe the rest. I'm to believe she could handle "origami"?
Submitted by CatLover2 on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:05pm.
Thats all I got.
*
Can we play a game? Let's guess your cats name.... I guess Pip.
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
Yeah, so um....*sticking tiger paw in Court's goodie bag* fffffffffffffffffffffffiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssssstttttttttttttttttt
bitches!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
i stopped on the monkey part. why would a monkey decide to wash a cat? and isn't there something vaguely sexual about that.
.
Hyde is in WeHo, one of the gayest cities in America. I really doubt the Sheriffs ignored him and told him to make the police report into origami (though I like the concept).
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:04pm.
TITS, your fruit cake would go great on my front lawn next to the mooning Santa.
*
get this - a house a few blocks away has a snowman giving birth to a snowbaby - complete with ketchup stains.
*shudder*
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:12pm.
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Hahahahahhahaha...normally I would find that funny, but because I've slurped some wine..well it's frickin' hilarious...
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Chocolat
xoxoxox
Submitted by Sugaroo on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 9:44pm.
WHAT THE FUCK! I REFRESHED AND SCREAMED OUT LOUD!
Don't DO that to me after so much food, MK!
*
You too?
I saw her pic just before I blinked then it was gone. I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to find out if it was a hallucination or not.
Sadly it wasn't. :(
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
*sigh* Court...punctuation is your friend.
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Chocolat
xoxoxox