Lance Armstrong Made A Baby
Who says you need two nuts to make a baby? Lance Armstrong is going to be a daddy for the fourth time. He told People that his girlfriend Anna Hansen is pregnant with their baby due in June. Lance put together this little statement and released it to the world: "We are very much looking forward to what 2009 brings on many fronts. We appreciate respecting our privacy, as we are both eager to celebrate the holidays as a family."
As you know, Lance is only operating with one ball friend due to testicular cancer, but apparently this baby was made the natural-way. The L.A. Times says this is rare.
Lance's other three kids were conceived through in vitro with frozen sperm pops Lance made before he started chemotherapy.
First of all, Jakey Poo is not smiling at this news. He wanted to be Lance's next baby mama. I bet he even has a crop-shirt that says "Lance Armstrong's Next Baby Mama." Second of all, if I was Lance, I'd have Maury on standby at the birth of his baby. Something in the jizz ain't clean about this shit. Lance may think he has the magic nut, but Anna's vagina could have been dancing with some other spermies.
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Guys with one nut can still have kids. My brother had the same cancer as Lance and he now has 4 kids...all for being a one nutter. Just goes to show.
They issue a statement then ask for privacy? A true fucktard sign.
I wonder if the chick is a low budget gold digger or stupid as fuck, because I can't imagine wanting a kid with fug "I love my ego and bike more than anything that exists" Armstrong.
@Sheeps
YES! the Hilton heels.........I still LMAO at that!
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 9:34pm.
Hey UA! Long time.... You mean the striped Hilton heels? Lovely, aren't they?
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Je ne t'aime pas! Tu as une grosse bedine!
Submitted by mike on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 9:36pm.
Another good question. I dunno: they get gaps? Veins? Bigger?
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Je ne t'aime pas! Tu as une grosse bedine!
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 9:32pm.
No damn idea, but doesn't chemo mess up the spermies? Isn't that why he donated some beforehand?
How do the steroids affect the spermies?
I read that his body healed and the chemo didn't have permanent effects. They said it's hope for other survivors but let's be real. Lance is a world-class athlete in superb shape, which most men (and women) are not, so IMO his chances of this full recovery are a lot better than most. Just saying.
Sheeps!
Put "the shoes" back in your avie!!!!!
LOLOLOLOLOL!
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
WTF?!?! This idiot just broke up with Kate Hudson, what, a mere FOUR or FIVE months ago max, and he's already knocked up some other girl?! ::slams head against wall:: Breeders....
"You smell like a baby prostitute." ~ Mean Girls
No damn idea, but doesn't chemo mess up the spermies? Isn't that why he donated some beforehand?
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Je ne t'aime pas! Tu as une grosse bedine!
Submitted by Uncle Ashtray on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 9:28pm.
Wasn't he dating an Olsen twin?
He was, and there's a joke in there, but alcohol has impaired my wit.
Wasn't he dating an Olsen twin?
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"...Soon we'll be away from here. Step on the gas and wipe that tear away...."
He sure gets around.
I would love to see him win Tour de France again. I hope he does. He's doing it for cancer and his foundation. I had one of his yellow bracelets but my dog ate it. I found it two days later and didn't really want it back.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 9:10pm.
Thanks Socky, but don't you think Lance has a lot of ball to get this girl pregnant and they're not even married?
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LOL! He's having too good of a time to settle down.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Submitted by mike
"I really suspect it's a matter of whether your insurance will cover the implant."
Hrrrrmmm. So, I am guessing Lance most likely has two nuts. His natural man-egg and a completely tricked out bling-nut plaited in gold and encrusted with diamonds . . . and the juices of 1,000 Hollywood whores.
Lances friends call him the uniballer
Submitted by Bag of Dirt on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 8:53pm.
Maybe a morbid question, but an earnest one
I really suspect it's a matter of whether your insurance will cover the implant.
A lot of ball.
That made me laugh out loud.
Submitted by Bag of Dirt: "...Is it more common to have one implanted, or to just keep the one ghoulie dangling?"
Oh Lawdy, I needed that belly laugh. That was too funny, Bag of Dirt.
Boooring.. although the first three may need therapy knowing they're lab rats and all. I know when my mom used to tell me I was a test tube baby it hurt like hell. I used to cry for 5 minutes at a time after that low blow.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
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Submitted by Sock-Monkey on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 9:06pm.
Thanks Socky, but don't you think Lance has a lot of ball to get this girl pregnant and they're not even married?
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Uniballer. *snicker* Unispermer now! And it was the one that counted!
How exciting. A guy who rides a bike for a living is having another kid.
Ah...the return on the one nut wonder.
AKA..The (as Manimal named him) Uniballer!!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Yes but Lance boned Sheryl Crow. Right there, that makes him a manskank.
Maybe a morbid question, but an earnest one . . . I know that they make prosthetic testicles for men who've had testicular cancer (seen a website for it an' all). I wonder how many men actually have the silicon nut. Is it more common to have one implanted, or to just keep the one ghoulie dangling?
lance is such a man slut
www.thatshideous.com
I wonder if its relly his baby?? HMMMM.
YAY a new topic. One nut wonder!!
Meh. Never saw the appeal here.