Lance Armstrong Made A Baby
Who says you need two nuts to make a baby? Lance Armstrong is going to be a daddy for the fourth time. He told People that his girlfriend Anna Hansen is pregnant with their baby due in June. Lance put together this little statement and released it to the world: "We are very much looking forward to what 2009 brings on many fronts. We appreciate respecting our privacy, as we are both eager to celebrate the holidays as a family."
As you know, Lance is only operating with one ball friend due to testicular cancer, but apparently this baby was made the natural-way. The L.A. Times says this is rare.
Lance's other three kids were conceived through in vitro with frozen sperm pops Lance made before he started chemotherapy.
First of all, Jakey Poo is not smiling at this news. He wanted to be Lance's next baby mama. I bet he even has a crop-shirt that says "Lance Armstrong's Next Baby Mama." Second of all, if I was Lance, I'd have Maury on standby at the birth of his baby. Something in the jizz ain't clean about this shit. Lance may think he has the magic nut, but Anna's vagina could have been dancing with some other spermies.
well we should all be dropping on our knees and praying ... it would appear that Anna has had an immaculate conception.
chemo and radiation make you sterile ... it's a nasty side-effect of cancer treatment ... if ole Lance is shooting live swimmers it sort of makes me think he lied about the the whole cancer thing.
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"I'm bluffin with my muffin."
I don't like him at all.
Get over yourself...no one cares. You are an arrogant, single-nutted bitch. Stop using cancer as a means to stay relevant...
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"Have you seen my Schweddy Balls?"
Lance is lame. I don't understand people who get married and start a family (with three kids, no less), and then ditch them and go back to the bachelor life. If you wanted that, then why have kids, dumbass. Last I heard he was screwing an Olsen or Goldie Jr, and now he's knocking up somebody else? Clearly his brains resided in the one nut that he no longer has.
I don't like this tool at all. Wasn't he just with the Olsen troll?
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Bye! Good
Never got the appeal of this dude. Oh well, at least he didn't knock up an Olsen twin.
Submitted by Sausage Fingers on Fri, 12/26/2008 - 8:29am.
Dem sausage fingers can SNAP. You go, girl. ;-)
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because of the fact that he works for me, a woman of power,...he came back to LAPD later and they told him to fold up his police report into a origami and hang it on his door.--CLove
If he's so hell-bent on wanting privacy around the holidays, why didn't he do this little press release after them?
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Say hello to yo mutha for me.
Will someone please put a sock in that cross-eyed B------"s mouth.
I once cycled with Mr. Armstrong. He is a fine chap.
Me thinks DNA testing would be in order.
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Come to the forum. We have cookies
I'm sure Jake wants nothing to do with Lance since he (Lance) made fun of him a few years ago at the ESPYs. F you, Lance.
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Heath Ledger
4/4/79 - 1/22/08
Submitted by KatieScarlett on Fri, 12/26/2008 - 12:35am.
Lance Armstrong's kid will be fucking TARD
mark my words..
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Just like you.
Plus, he's obviously Botoxed. Double yuck.
Is that photo supposed to be sexy?? Yuck.
Submitted by literarylioness on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 11:27pm.
I can't ride a bike either! (Sorry, I thought I was the only one).
Here's hoping his little swimmies dont glow in the dark....
Puppy Cam sadness... they're all GONE!!!
From the site:
Just a heads-up that we'll be temporarily turning off the webcam tomorrow night (Tues, Dec 23rd) so that we can take Aki and Amaya to their new parents. Of course we will do some goodbye videos before we leave so that everyone has a proper send off.
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
I'm not sure how uncommon it is to have children with one testicle. My boyfriend had testicular cancer a few years ago and doctors at one of the best hospitals in the world (MGH) assured him that his surgery and radiation should have no effect on his ability to have children.
then the next story is 5th baby.
www.realitybedroom.com
SHINY!, SHINY!, SHINY!!! POLISHING SILVER COIN... SHINY! SHINY!
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SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
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SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
SHINY! SHINY! SHINY! SHINY!
MUCH BETTER!
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by TITS on Fri, 12/26/2008 - 1:06am.
I have another super power, I can make any room into a bathroom. Whoops, not the poo thread!
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 12/26/2008 - 12:10am.
My superpower is being able to sense the location of a bathroom in any building. Not to be sniffed at!
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
I have a very strong dislike for this douchebag. He's nothing but a man whore.
Lance Armstrong's kid will be fucking TARD
mark my words..
I can't stand this fucking bitch. Attention whore and douchebag extraordinaire. Methinks he's a just a closeted case of teh ghey with a humongous ego. Kinda like Tommy girl, sans Top Gun on his repertoire and a bunch of $cientos up his ass (not sure about this part but whatever).
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Jenny McCarthy was the idiot who said her kid was "cured" of autism by changing his diet.
How come Armstrong didn't want a kid with Kate Hudsen, Sheryl Crow, or the Trollson? Something smells very fishy here.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 12/26/2008 - 12:14am.
Next week or the week after.
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 12/26/2008 - 12:12am.
Ummm, if it burns when you evacuate, you may have picked up a super power that warrants a trip to the free clinic.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Fri, 12/26/2008 - 12:10am.
Damn, that's good. Mine still burns when it exits.
Armstrong, 37, and his girlfriend Anna Hansen, 28, have announced they’re expecting a child next year. Hansen, a graduate of the University of Colorado, is a Program Manager and Recruiter for First Descents. The organization is located in Vail, Colo., and it helps offer outdoor adventure experiences for young adults with cancer.
An avid recreational mountain bike competitor, Hansen is a volunteer at the Children’s Hospital in Denver and serves on the board of directors of Camp Wapiyapi, a foundation providing support for families with childhood cancer.
Armstrong and Hansen met through charity work and have been dating since July 2008.
Submitted by Sheeps on Fri, 12/26/2008 - 12:07am.
Radiation therapy can cause all sorts of super powers though! My super power is that I can take a flammable liquid like vodka and convert into a non flammable liquid.
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I am the devil, and I am here to do the devil's work.
Questions from men about changes in fertility:
Will I be able to have children?
If you would like to have children after treatment, talk with your doctor before you start treatment. Your doctor or nurse can talk with you about your choices and refer you to a fertility specialist.
Chemotherapy can damage sperm and cause birth defects.
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/chemo-side-effects/menfertility
He might have gotten the replacement here:
http://www.neuticles.com/index.php
Did anyone see Justin Timberlake do Beyonce's "Single Ladies"?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL9j0e4sGdk&feature=related
Droppin Kids Off in the Pool
You know, when I first heard this story, my first thought was, Bullsh*t. Just like that idiot who said her son was cured of autism by a change in diet, I thought, no way did this asshat impregnate his GF naturally...I still think he could be lying, just for ego's sake. I could be wrong, but he seems like a big egotistical pr*ck, so I wouldn't put it past him.
Amen to the poster who called this famewhore out with his hypocritical, "please respect our privacy" crap, after issuing a F*CKING statement. What an asshole.
Am I the only one that looked at the picture and wondered if it was the left nut that was removed because that side looks a little smaller.
Congrats to them,can't say I like him though
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Can't stand this guy, but I have a funny story about him. My ex-boss, Thomas Weisel, was SO in love with this jerk he made all his employees were Lance's number for the Tour de France. I forget which Tour de France is was, but I will never forget the humilation of looking like a dweeb. I can't even ride a bike for Pete's sake! Old Tommy (he hates to be called Tommy or Tom) would blush like a school girl about Lance and brag about being his BFF. Gag me now!
Submitted by TITS on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 10:55pm.
That picture makes me think of a stock photo for tampons or a internet dating service.
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It reminds me of those "Smiling Bob" Enzyte commercials. But somethin' tells me, Lance's peener is always on full alert when women are around.
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
That picture makes me think of a stock photo for tampons or a internet dating service.
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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock
cheryl crow is not going to be happy about this.
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I'm so sick of this mother fucking man whore. Wonder if he'll abandon this kid like he did his others so he could fuck a bunch of nasty slut actresses.
i see lance is the kind of guy that just doesn't believe in using a condom...
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did you sleep with charlie the tuna last night or did you just forget to douche?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrJAgdMLsMI&feature=related
His one grape is not seedless...
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If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
One Ball does it all!
Happy Holidays my Dlisted sluts!
xoxoxox,
BB
***I'm a Free Bird, honey!"***
NeNe~
Sadly no, no implanted nut...as least not that I know of. His girlfriend would have to be asked to be certain but I've never heard anything of it. We're just not that kind of family. :-)
Submitted by cherryfries
"Guys with one nut can still have kids. My brother had the same cancer as Lance and he now has 4 kids...all for being a one nutter. Just goes to show."
So....does your brother have the silicon nut implant? I have no idea why I am so curious about this.