Programming Note
Simon Cowell's luscious fur titties will keep you cozy and warm while I'm away for a bit. I have to drag my ass onto a plane to fly back to my homeland of California for that Christmas thing. Yes, I will be back with my native people, eating In-N-Out all night and sitting in traffic all day. So there won't be anymore new posts for a few hours while I'm flying high (in more ways than one).
Right after I get off the plane, I have to run my ass over to Rite Aid to find a bunch of crap to pass off as Christmas gifts, because I still haven't bought shit! Then I will skip over to In-N-Out, make dirty love to a double double and then I will post some more!
In the meantime, cuddle into Simon's chichis while he gives you a ride on his jet ski in Barbados. I shall return. And Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and everything else!
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We're weird and our food sucks, but we have prescription drugs.
C'mon over Fuzz.
xo
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Submitted by Sugaroo on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 4:22pm.
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:50pm.
Poor Fuzzy has no family, nothing to do for Christmas! SOMEONE INVITE ME TO THEIR PARTY!! XD
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That's so sad! For real? I wish you could come to our house, Fuzzy. We are weird but we have great food and drink!
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She looks like she'd rather be getting a pap smear from Freddy Krueger.
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 4:19pm.
When I was little my Mom told me once that sometimes , Santa only brings you candy, cuz he doesn't have that much money left, cuz apparently he buys geographicaly (and I'm form south-america)
Do you know what I got that year?... ever since I wanted to move to America, to have cool presents since santa would buy them first.
Merry Christmas to all y'all hookers and hoes.
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I just popped in to say Merry Christmas to everyone, and hope Santa brings you something good :)
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People keep telling me to get a life, but no one gives me the link to download it.
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:50pm.
*cries* Even MK has something to do for Christmas!
Poor Fuzzy has no family, nothing to do for Christmas! SOMEONE INVITE ME TO THEIR PARTY!! XD
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That's so sad! For real? I wish you could come to our house, Fuzzy. We are weird but we have great food and drink!
EastEndGirl where the hell do you live, and did you do all that to work retail? My hats off to all you DLsters who work retail, especially today.
Any insane retail stories today? I'm not that brave to venture out.
Payday came and with it beer.
~~Rudyard Kipling~~
"Now Santa's in Baghdad! He's a brave soul!!"
Shit, he better ride the fuck out of there like he's in Compton.
♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫
"HELL NO KITTY-Michael K."
Thanks LB. It is sooooo bad that peeps are worrying about their roofs collapsing. As it is, my cable/internet, and electric wires are looking dangerously heavy with snow/ice.
Poor dog can't figure out how to poo because the snow covers his ass. Very entertaining to watch. :)
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
Submitted by taxi mom on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:03pm.
I am in an airport and the Concorde is delayed. BULLOCKS I am on vacay bitches. I need vino.
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The Concorde hasn't flown in years. I call "bullocks" on YOU!
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 4:12pm.
Angel: My sister and I went down to the tree and saw the brand spanken' new Sega Genesis before my mom woke up. We tried to fake being surprised. My mom caught on.
She was PISSED!!!! Never got a really cool gift from Santa ever again.
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See? Parents are like children. Spoil their fun and they'll never forgive you;p
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Now Santa's in Baghdad! He's a brave soul!!
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Happy Holidays slutzzz! Try not to murder the annoying relatives...
Payday came and with it beer.
~~Rudyard Kipling~~
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 4:12pm.
Talk about dedication! After 10 minutes I would have said "fuck THIS" and drunk some hot chocolate in a snuggie (or whatever they're called)
Glad you made it home safe.
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Try the Bailey's mint. It's amazing.
Angel: My sister and I went down to the tree and saw the brand spanken' new Sega Genesis before my mom woke up. We tried to fake being surprised. My mom caught on.
She was PISSED!!!! Never got a really cool gift from Santa ever again.
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Three hours after attempting to get to work in this FUCKING BLIZZARD I am finally at home.
Merry Christmas Bitches and Mitches!
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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.
okay, I'm done....quote of the day, you can guess who wrote it lol
ROAST IS GOING IN THE GODDAMN FUCKING OVEN EARLY TOMORROW MORNING AND LATER FUCKING MASHING POTATOES, FUCKING SWEET POTATOES, FUCKING GREEN BEENS, FUCKING CRANBERRY SHIT, FUCKING ROLLS AND THE GODDAMN GRAVY!
happy fuckin' holidays y'all! don't eat too fuckin' much, save room for drinks, duh.
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kitty side eye!
http://www.sockandawe.com/
THROW THE SHOE AT THE BUSH!!
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:59pm.
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:56pm.
Sheeps: he snuck and checked all the pressies before the big day. So he found the box and assumed it was an Xbox.
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I think it WAS an Xbox. They just held it back until later. Or so the report says.
And yes - he'll get 'em back, I'm sure:)
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
quick peek- Merry Christmas Dlisters!
I bet Santa is going to scoop up all of the children from underprivileged countries and drop their asses of at the Jolie-Pitt house.
Maddox will roll his eyes and move his shit to another room.
♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫
"HELL NO KITTY-Michael K."
Now Santa's in Kenya! I guess they DO know it's Christmas time after all! STFU BandAid!
And he visited the International Space Station!
This thing is the shit! I'm sorry about the obsessiveness, but I just found it! My childhood was lacking so much! *cries into eggnog*
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:56pm.
Sheeps: he snuck and checked all the pressies before the big day. So he found the box and assumed it was an Xbox.
Opps. (I hate to read--all those big words.)
Submitted by mahaatma on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:49pm.
Nope, but I saw you guys talking about it. I get out that way from time to time, on the way to Idyllwild or something. We did some wine-tasting in Temecula last year. *clinking coffee mug on your Bailey's*
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:39pm.
Christmas cheer: Grinch parents give kid Xbox360 box with only clothes inside, then laugh at him:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2069184.ece
That is sooo mean! I love it. LOL, I dont have kids I guess that is why
Sheeps: he snuck and checked all the pressies before the big day. So he found the box and assumed it was an Xbox.
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Mk, are you home yet?
I'm sick of looking at Simon's hairy moobs.
HURRY UP!
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:44pm.
You mean he was naughty this year? I dint catch that--I was too busy fuming. He'll git em back when he's 19 or so.
Merry Christmas to MK and to all of u! Ho ho ho!
Santa's sleigh goes 100 times faster than the Bullet Train in Japan!
He's off the coast of Africa RIGHT NOW!!!
He's also strangely computer animated.
How NORAD started to track the jolly red clad man:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081224/ap_on_re_us/tracking_santa
I think it's the cutest thing EVAH!
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
*cries* Even MK has something to do for Christmas!
Poor Fuzzy has no family, nothing to do for Christmas! SOMEONE INVITE ME TO THEIR PARTY!! XD
&&&
"I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me... the code." Hans Gruber, Die Hard
I need a new pair of panties just thinking about this.
...damn Sheeps!.....you know where all the good food is!....have you tried Portillos yet?....there's one in Moreno Valley right off the 215 and another is near Disneyland I think...
...*pouring 1st Baileys*...
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...don't talk to strangers but let that mental patient Santa roam your house in the middle of the night?...ya, right...
She totally should have said: Aren't you glad we can afford to buy you clothes?
Grinch!;p
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glad you're not MY secret santa!
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
Submitted by mahaatma on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:35pm.
...did you know 1.5 oz. of Baileys Irish Cream has 410 calories?.....that said, I will polish off 2 bottles later today by myself...
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my deepest condolences to your kidneys!
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
just bouncing in for a minute, I'm having a small gathering at casa de hoff tonite, but damn, I have to say happy everything, I love all of you majorly, you know that.
xoxoxoxoxooxox
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"I'm pretty sure I asked you to pick up some Pecan Sandies."
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:39pm.
Christmas cheer: Grinch parents give kid Xbox360 box with only clothes inside, then laugh at him:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2069184.ece
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O but he was NAUGHTY!!!
And he got his xbox anyway.
and BESIDES - it's an XBOX!
She totally should have said: Aren't you glad we can afford to buy you clothes?
Grinch!;p
♥ ThreadKilla!
A DListed YouTube Gallery
It might seem like I'm stalking you. I'm not.
You just go on about your business:)
Do you know where Santa is right now? I mean right now? but now?
I do and so can you, my DListed sluts! NORAD is tracking him! Check it out and share it with various children!
http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.html
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Submitted by mahaatma on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:35pm.
...did you know 1.5 oz. of Baileys Irish Cream has 410 calories?.....that said, I will polish off 2 bottles later today by myself...
hahahaha. I love that shit (once in a while). Maybe use it to wash down an In-N-Out double-double? There's one on the road east from Temecula (Rt 79?).
Christmas cheer: Grinch parents give kid Xbox360 box with only clothes inside, then laugh at him:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2069184.ece
...did you know 1.5 oz. of Baileys Irish Cream has 410 calories?.....that said, I will polish off 2 bottles later today by myself...
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...how can I miss you when you won't go away?....
Submitted by taxi mom on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 3:26pm
Autopsy in platform flip flops? I don't get it. I must have missed that day....
OH FUCKING GODDAMN. MY WIFE CALLED AND GETS TO COME HOME EARLY! WHAT A GODDAMN FUCKING BUZZ KILLER.
zomay, you are so right about the produce - that is what I like about Farmer Boys salads - they seem very fresh...
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...how can I miss you when you won't go away?....
I speak French and Spanish and I love Canada bitches. time for an autopsy in my platform flip-flops. :)
Mahaatma, I usually only eat vegi burgers at fast food places. Sometimes turkey or chicken. I like when places offer veggie patties. I judge on the freshness of the produce they use. farmers boys make good salads.
My mom loves hot dogs and I will take her to the place you like. xoxoxoxoxo
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Here's something to spoil your appetite at In-and-Out:
A shake there (any flavor) is around 680-690 calories each.
And their french fries are another 400 calories.
A burger without cheese: 390
With cheese: 480
I know, bahhumbug.
When I go there now, I usually get the burger protein style. Not as fun, but I'm trying to lose weight.
It's worth it though every once in awhile :)
For special occasions like today :)
Joyeux Noel!
That's how these bitches here in Paris say it, but since I'm fake French I'll also wish you a great Drunken Xmas. My grandmother used to say writing Xmas was the pagan's way of trying to take the Christ out of the holidays.(hehe,she was crazy) And Bonne Fetes for all others who celebrate something else! Hope everyone has a great one and don't let your families drive you crazy. I'm off to various festivities but I raise a glass to all of you sluts who make me laugh everyday. AND SORRY YOU'RE AT WORK JIM!!!!!
zomay,
...I'm in Riverside and we do have a couple of Farmer Boys....never had a burger there just salads, which are good.....never had a Pink's either....my favorite for hot dogs but especially Italian beefs is Portillos.....yummmmmo!!!....do not pass up a chance to try Portillos sometime - you will not be disappointed.....(of course this is coming from someone who hates In-N-Out, so take it with a grain of salt)...
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...how can I miss you when you won't go away?....
Does anyone else but me think Simon is hot??
Just kidding.
@ Jaydawg,
You know your comment about McDonald's super over-processed "food" reminds me of my best friend... After a drunken night that ended in the morning, he got a couple of MD's McMuffins, lost one of them in his car... found it a WEEK later and ate it! Ha ha... he said it still tasted the way it should and he was fine. Tells you how processed it is...
Afternoon & happy holidays kids! MY santa just came early, AND with party favors!