Programming Note
Simon Cowell's luscious fur titties will keep you cozy and warm while I'm away for a bit. I have to drag my ass onto a plane to fly back to my homeland of California for that Christmas thing. Yes, I will be back with my native people, eating In-N-Out all night and sitting in traffic all day. So there won't be anymore new posts for a few hours while I'm flying high (in more ways than one).
Right after I get off the plane, I have to run my ass over to Rite Aid to find a bunch of crap to pass off as Christmas gifts, because I still haven't bought shit! Then I will skip over to In-N-Out, make dirty love to a double double and then I will post some more!
In the meantime, cuddle into Simon's chichis while he gives you a ride on his jet ski in Barbados. I shall return. And Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and everything else!
ShareThis
yum yum gimme sum!
HONEY GLAZED HAM
INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)
5 pounds ready-to-eat ham
1/4 cup whole cloves
1/4 cup dark corn syrup
2 cups honey
2/3 cup butter
DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
Score ham, and stud with the whole cloves. Place ham in foil lined pan.
In the top half of a double boiler, heat the corn syrup, honey and butter. Keep glaze warm while baking ham.
Brush glaze over ham, and bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes in the preheated oven. Baste ham every 10 to 15 minutes with the honey glaze. During the last 4 to 5 minutes of baking, turn on broiler to caramelize the glaze. Remove from oven, and let sit a few minutes before serving.
~~!_!~~
Happy Holidays & Happy Birfday Baby Jesus,
to MK & DListers!
Merry Christmas MK!!!!!
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:24pm.
WARNING THE FOLLOWING LINK COULD RUIN YOUR HOLIDAYS.
Has anyone else seen the ghastly pics of Donatella at Just Jared??????
Pffft! I'm a dlisted purist - dlisted is the only celeb gossip site I visit.
good tip chuck on inserting garlic. never tried herbs, but I can vouch for garlic.
garlic is never wrong.
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:24pm.
WARNING THE FOLLOWING LINK COULD RUIN YOUR HOLIDAYS.
Has anyone else seen the ghastly pics of Donatella at Just Jared??????
http://justjared.buzznet.com/
*
Keeerist on a stick!
Victoria Beckham in 5 years!
Looks like a stick of beef jerky in a bikini.
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
Thornhill,
Um, yeah...those are Santa's deer!! Nothing more! Wouldn't be me! Nope...Dasher it is.
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Ein Minuten, bitte. Ich habe einen kleinen Problemo avec diese Religione.
A FEW GODDAMN FUCKING COOKING TIPS. IF YOU ARE COOKING A GODDAMN FUCKING BEEF ROAST, STAB IT ABOUT 20 TIMES WITH A FUCKING VERY LARGE KNIFE. THEN INSERT INTO THE STABS SLIVERS OF FUCKING GARLIC, ROSEMARY AND TYMNE. DON'T SALT. LET IT FUCKING GODDAMN SIT IN THE REFRIGERATOR FOR A DAY AND COOK AT 300 FOR 1-1/2 HOURS. IF IT IS A TURKEY, CLEAN OUT THE DISGUSTING FUCKING INPARTS AND HEAVILY BUTTER AND SALT THE FUCKING GODDAMN OUTSIDE. STUFF THE FUCKING STUPID GODDAMN BIRD WITH ALREADY FUCKING WELL COOKED STUFFING AND TURN THE WHOLE FUCKING BIRD UPSIDE DOWN TO COOK IN A ROASTING PAN AT 250 FOR ABOUT 6-7 HOURS. FUCK YOU.
Submitted by Sheeps on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:26pm.
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:19pm.
"Nobody goes there" and then they go and it's a magical world with fairies and they get trapped and try to come back and... yeah... running on Cherry Coke right now...
You first. It is a bit like Hansel and Gretel, with fewer calories.
*
Save your bandwidth. You know all the trolls we're infested with now? Particularly in this thread? Take that level of intelligence and repartee and multiply it by a factor of 10. Also consider that they're toning down the levels of profanity and stupidity while they are posting here.
Nothing of value, not even laughs. Just spewing bile, gross gutter profanities and hatred. Like the trolls.
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A holiday ecard from me to dlisted. A ""prize"" to the first smart-ass that points out the typo.
Your acerbic wit will be missed. Happy Chrismas. Want to hear how big the therapy bills will be when you get back.
Laura
@PSL...Happy holidays to you too..
_________________ ☮ ___________________
If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
Hey Thorny! Merry Christmas!
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I've thrown away the blues, I'm tired of being used
I want everyone to know, I'm looking for a good time.....
- The Commodores "Sail On"
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:37pm.
---------------
He lied to you. He's in Baton Rouge playing child bride to Warren Beatty. Duh!
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Michael K you better get your little fruity ass back on here and make us laugh!
My no-no hole is about to tear up!
♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫
"HELL NO KITTY-Michael K."
i just saw those pics of donatella and let me tell you...i am GLAD i am fucking DRUNK. thx to those pics i'm opening my second bottle of red and now eating chips and salsa!
i hate this fucking time of year and i'm glad that my tradition is me by myself, with my dog, drunker than shit.
♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
Miss your fucked up ways on my fucked up days.
http://www.myspace.com/unexpectedlyspeechless
I don't care what yer name is, get those fukken reindeer off my roof...
_________________ ☮ ___________________
If music be the food of love, put another glockenspiel in the easy bake oven...
This just in: Santa was shot down by a nuclear missile. It is suspected the Kremlin and the Outhere brothers are responsible for the attack. No word on whether the reindeers or Santa made it with their super powers. Sorry hos!
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
I have to go and chop down the perfect tree down now bitches... I take mah most perfect child and hot Latin sausage before the family marches in for a major discussions on world peace and global warming.. I hope the lepers don't eat all the appetizers.. The weather outside is frightning.. but I have my ax and will have my perfect.. one of a kind organic tree we decorate with hand made Martha Stewart Ornaments. Then we drink lots of spiced rum and are jolly ! Hope the lepers don't drop mom's fine china.... *shudders*
Of course we document this to be shown on TLC later this month . Later losers !
Momus, hahahahah- those are exceptional!
I love how subtle her implants are- you can hardly tell they're fake.
Helen Mirren is 10 years older. That is all.
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I've thrown away the blues, I'm tired of being used
I want everyone to know, I'm looking for a good time.....
- The Commodores "Sail On"
I JUST SAW A REPORT WHERE FUCKING SANTA IS OVER NEBRASKA RIGHT NOW. HE HAS CIRCLED AROULD THE GODDAMN NORTHPOLE AND IS MAKING IS WAY THRU THE FUCKING MIDWEST AS WE SPEAK...
MK will be making me matzo ball soup and rubbing my liver with Dead Sea salts before we depart to a VIP room to mingle with Paris Hilton, Tommy Lee and Chris Meloni. I am so moist for him
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:37pm.
I'm meeting MK at the In-n-Out Burgers where we'll share some double-double cheeseburgers. *I wish!*
Porque no? There's one in Hacienda Hts!
Well I did not want to brag... but I live in LA and I am meeting MK's plane when it lands and we are going out partying cuz he thinks I am so HAWT and a doll.. He is staying at mah CRIB with Paris and
HOS.. and I got a room for his Madre as well.
So why yew HO's have such boring lyfes.. me and MK are going to IVY and other HAWT places here in LA.. All's I gotta do is flash my BEEF CURTAINS..
Then later I will save the world.. first things first HOS
Submitted by Lory on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:35pm.
I'm having dinner with Dubya, a ferret and a shoe. Top that Katie!!!
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I'm meeting MK at the In-n-Out Burgers where we'll share some double-double cheeseburgers. *I wish!*
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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Momus!!
Sweet Ghost of Xmas' Yet to Come!!!! No wonder her daughter is in such a state!!!
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Ein Minuten, bitte. Ich habe einen kleinen Problemo avec diese Religione.
I am feeling a bit dodgey, mate. Alas, my liver hurts
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:26pm.
Momus, as if there are any GOOD pictures of Donatella? The woman's face is truly frightening.
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These are more (w)horrific than most pix of her.
Sheeps is right: Baked Alaska ... burnt on the outside with a cold, cold heart.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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I have the cerise belt in Big Poo and I can break a corn log in mere seconds. I use a garden weasel that I attach to my knitting needle. I voted for Obama even tho I have lesbian fantasies about Hilary Clinton.
I'm having dinner with Dubya, a ferret and a shoe. Top that Katie!!!
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Steve Hawking and I are getting ready to save the world.. We are taking a meeting with world leaders the day after tomorrow but not until we stop at Dominos for Pizza.. Poor Steve.. he drinks it with a straw poor chap... Oprah is having us on her show soon,,look out for us
I also found the cure for cancer inside the slurpy machine...
Merry xmas !
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:24pm.
Has anyone else seen the ghastly pics of Donatella at Just Jared?
Holy Baked Alaska.
It's also good to see DJ AM is up and about with a new GF. We all grieve differently. All his DJing and gallivanting about are undercutting the claim in his lawsuit for permanent injuries.
I just wrapped my chocha as a Xmas present... Wait, what if I wanna pee? I am worried now... :(
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
I am a Jew, a Bible thumper, a Muslim, whatever you want me to be, I will. Ok, whatever my unmedicated schitzo mind decides for me
Submitted by lizardbits1 on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:19pm.
"Nobody goes there" and then they go and it's a magical world with fairies and they get trapped and try to come back and... yeah... running on Cherry Coke right now...
You first. It is a bit like Hansel and Gretel, with fewer calories.
Momus, as if there are any GOOD pictures of Donatella? The woman's face is truly frightening.
***********************************************
I've thrown away the blues, I'm tired of being used
I want everyone to know, I'm looking for a good time.....
- The Commodores "Sail On"
My man beats me but I love him. He beats me with cans of corn and colon cleanser
I'm a Jew. I am going NOWHERE tonight!
I am going to dinner tomorrow night- they serve steak and lobster! YUM!
***********************************************
I've thrown away the blues, I'm tired of being used
I want everyone to know, I'm looking for a good time.....
- The Commodores "Sail On"
jim on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 5:27pm.
SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE....WITH BEERS AND TOKES!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So tempting. :D
I manage a Subway and dabble at both the AZN markets and law. Currently I am representing Rod Blagojevich and Britney Spears, respectively. I also lobby in the marbled tomes of DC, I lobby for equal rights for ex-pats and bitchy gays alike. My mother died of cirrhosis and my cat went for cigarettes and never came back. Won't somebody come "carve my turkey"?
WARNING THE FOLLOWING LINK COULD RUIN YOUR HOLIDAYS.
Has anyone else seen the ghastly pics of Donatella at Just Jared??????
http://justjared.buzznet.com/
************************************************
My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
************************************************
Clarisse, I think I understand. But my Puerto Rican mama (neighbor lady) has called me over... and so starts my festivities.
Merry Christmas all!!
And wish me a happy birthday in about five hours, will ya?
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
My BIL is a raging drunk and he hates my parents so he throws he Jimmy Choos at them ( did I mention he is a cross dresser) My sister who is a
mortician is always in a somber mood. I think she sniffs that embalming fluid. My Little brother is a Sheep herder and his girlfriend has HUGE TITS.. We are quite a eclectic family
Oh Did I mention I have a HAWT Latin Lover ?
Feliz Navidad!!!
I am the alpha and the Omega, I am the forum's fairy guardian. Cum with me for the experience of a lifetime.
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Submitted by KatieScarlett on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 7:18pm.
Are you familiar with Buckaroo Bonzai?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086856/
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Lizardbits,
Sad?? Heavens NO! It's a nice breather. I had Xmas #2 today and the last one tomorrow...
I use Xmas eve to regroup! =0)
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Ein Minuten, bitte. Ich habe einen kleinen Problemo avec diese Religione.
Sheeps: Ah... I understand. Sounds like the beginning of a children's fantasy flick.
"Nobody goes there" and then they go and it's a magical world with fairies and they get trapped and try to come back and... yeah... running on Cherry Coke right now...
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
As noted at another gossip site:
Merry Festiv-Kwanzaa-Christ-nakkah!
(Wishing you a joyous “whatever holiday doesn’t offend you.”)
Happy Holidays, Dlisters and our savior-in-sarcasm, MK.
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My avatar is my 27-pound Maine Coon furkid named Mozart. Lying next to him is a standard-sized cat.
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my uncle who is a leprosy specialist is flying in for the holidays from Australia.. He is bringing in a few lepers with him.. It should be a banging holiday at my home. My father is a nuclear physicist.My mother is a brain surgeon. She gets to cut the turket always.. I just work at 7/11
Yeah, cuz as you know "die" means "put into the vault".
Clarisse, sadness about the no plans. I have plans, but they're slow in starting... Ah well.
And you didn't pick up on the "Night in Paris" inuendo? Night in Paris being the sex tape and Santa in Paris being a dude in a red suit in France and I made it a dirty dirty joke at the expense of little kids everywhere?
I knew you were a classy lady!
**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**
Submitted by zulu on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 6:59pm.
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Xmas is that time of the year when the worst (I hear the best too) of people comes out. A relative of mine experienced the same thing you did but like four years ago, with a twist.
She didn't let a guy through because she didn't want to run over some kids that were crossing the street. The fucker got out of he car, broke my relative's window and tried to strangle her. Thankfully people stopped him, so he couldn't do it. Still, he escaped. Police went after his ass. They arrested him. Needless to say the dumbfuck was a lunatic and high as a kite. Unlike what I said about the puppies and the sea lions, etc, this is no joke.
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.