JLo Is Always Watching Skeletor
JLo is not above having a "smell yo dick" moment with Skeletor, but she sends her slaves (aka cousins) to do her dirty work instead. JLo apparently likes to keep close tabs on her bag of chewed up bones, so she sent her assistant to look after Skeletor while he was on tour. JLo couldn't be bothered by going, because she was too busy yelling at the Dragon Tales Twins' nannies and rolling around in mounds of bronzer. You know she does that.
A source told Page Six, "She wanted reports back so he didn't cheat on her."
JLo has something to worry about, because I have a cousin who says she would totally let Skeletor wet hump her. Gross and gross. The bitch obviously has a strange fetish for shriveled up insect men with Twilight Zone faces. Whatever makes your chocha holler, I guess. I don't get it. She also says that "White Shoulders" is her signature scent, so it makes sense that she'd want to ride Skeletor's brittle bone.
And Skeletor's dick probably always smells boiled cow bones with just a slight touch of Old Spice.
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God, what is going on with that blue eyeshadow? It's blinding and not 1979. Didn't JBlow retire with her Dragon Tale twins? I thought she was living for Scientology and hiding away in Long Island. Everyone knows she is still deeply in love with Ben Affleck. Skeletor was always chasing after JBlow. Even if Skeletor's member is as big as a pole, he still has that face!
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 3:09pm.
Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 3:03pm.
hahahahaha. Good one! Quick: diameter, in cm? Quick, I said
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Errrmmmmm..just a minute, there are sugar peens..I mean plums dancing in my head. I can't concentrate, damnit!
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Chocolat
xoxoxox
Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 3:03pm.
hahahahaha. Good one! Quick: diameter, in cm? Quick, I said.
Submitted by Sheeps on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 2:31pm.
Submitted by MarcusM on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 2:09pm.
My friends sister sleep with Marc Anthony after he broke up with his beauty queen wife. He has a 10x6 dick so I can see why he gets all the ladies.
Ten inches X six inches in circumference? How'd your friend's sister measure that?
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With great excitement, I'd say.
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Chocolat
xoxoxox
Submitted by MarcusM on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 2:09pm.
My friends sister sleep with Marc Anthony after he broke up with his beauty queen wife. He has a 10x6 dick so I can see why he gets all the ladies.
Ten inches X six inches in circumference? How'd your friend's sister measure that?
My friends sister sleep with Marc Anthony after he broke up with his beauty queen wife. He has a 10x6 dick so I can see why he gets all the ladies.
My new phrase for 2009
'Whatever makes your chocha holler'
I always knew they were full of crap. No one brags on and on like they do about their love and perfect life, blah blah blah. BARF!!!
The bitch obviously has a strange fetish for shriveled up insect men with Twilight Zone faces. Whatever makes your chocha holler, I guess. I don't get it. She also says that "White Shoulders" is her signature scent, so it makes sense that she'd want to ride Skeletor's brittle bone.
Ah, Mikey, I can always count on you for a fine holiday gift: the gift of laughter! And spewing Diet Pepsi over my keyboard. And chortling until I throw up. Yes, Mike, you are the Christmas Angel!
Whoops, double post. Got too excited!
Not all men cheat, not all latin men cheat... but this one, he does. Known and proven cheater. And I'm his fan, not hers. She's not fit to lick his boots or anything else. He's a sack of bones but he can sing! In Spanish, at least.
Skeletor is repulsive.
But not as replusive as jenny's blue eyeshadow in the pic above. Memaw makeup...and hair.
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She looks like she'd rather be getting a pap smear from Freddy Krueger.
Not all latino men cheat but most do... it's their machismo cultura so no surprise here eh
They both scare me
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I get up around seven...Get outta bed around nine...And I don't worry about nothin' no
'cause worryin's a waste of my... time
@ Keane. You're so right about not all men cheating. I work with guys and we've gotten into all sorts of very intimate discussions over the years. Some express disgust over the conduct of other guys. They would never cheat on their wives or girlfriends even though I know some have really been hit on. It's not a religious thing with them either. Sure, we can all be tempted but there's a ton of stand up guys out there. I wouldn't want men to think that all women are like the sluts on Rock of Love or Paris Hilton. Generalizations are not good.
Man things are getting really stupid around here..
Some people call it a Kaiser Blade, I call it a Sling Blade.
what's up with the page-long comments
ishk
What a pair. The wizened, manorexic creep has ALWAYS made my skin crawl, as has that airbrushed, "don't-hate-me-I'm-a-regular-girl-from-the-block," überselfish brat. Gimme a break... not one note of his singing ever sounds like it's the right gender, either.
I know everything about everything and what I don't know I google up an alt to insult myself with
*Whistling to oneself* Did someone say something just then? No? Just my imagination then...
Wow i didn't know that UK only uses pounds. Why does britain think they are above the euro? I knew you people were snotty but come on.
and you could get off the whole UK is diverse soapbox....white (of which English 83.6%, Scottish 8.6%, Welsh 4.9%, Northern Irish 2.9%) 92.1%, black 2%, Indian 1.8%, Pakistani 1.3%, mixed 1.2%, other 1.6% (2001
Start importing jews, you people could use their dentistry skills.
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
I know all about precious metals as I used to work in that field while managing a Subway restaurant
And BTW I said dollars - some basic reading practise may come in useful too, baby steps Provolone.
Britain don't got the Euro fucktard - bit more of that blasted fact-checking required. And yeah, sterling ain't worth quite what it used to - was that 2 of those ickle, wickle dollars of yours? Ah yes, facts suck don't they?
All my euros are tied up in the Asian markets. I am so rich it's sickening
2-4 million of your euro monopoly money?? What is that like 260$ American, BWAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!! (o yea bush made the dollar collapse, fuck)
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Yeah Provolone my neck of the woods is totally shitty, cos any area housing ethnic minorities has got to be poor right? Plus there's all those damn "minorities" practising that "stupid religion" Islam let's not forget. Still unless you've got a spare 2-4 million dollars lying around you won't be able to purchase a house down my street. Its a shame cos we really need someone to move in and come sneer at our poor brown folks, you'd have been just the ticket.
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 4:04pm.
oh geez, now we know, Provolone is from Long Island. Ha Ha Explains A LOT!
i swear i'm not orange
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
Skeletor does nothing for me,he is about as unsexy as they come.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
http://www.myspace.com/384080529
oh geez, now we know, Provolone is from Long Island. Ha Ha Explains A LOT!
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
I CAN HAZ LOLO!?!?!? :(
Submitted by Keane on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:54pm.
We get it. You live in a shitty part of london hence all the 'exotic' religions that are sooooooo interesting. This is why long island is great, italians, irish and jews. Everything an affluent community needs. Great delis and bars too!
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"They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort"
I think we can all agree that no matter where you are or you're from people have two choices: to be sleazy or not to be sleazy. It's seems pretty obvious to me that THESE people have chosen "sleazy".
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Ok cool I was being touchy, sorry! It must be the festive period, its making me over-sensitive!
Keane,
I wasn't directing that towards you but to another poster who felt it was ok to make a generalization about Puerto Rican men. I use the term kiddies with endearment. Im not fighting you here ok?
Some people call it a Kaiser Blade, I call it a Sling Blade.
Submitted by redpoint_blackdot on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:32pm.
angel_i,
I have several Polish male friends and while they are very cool guys
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Actually, I din't talk about Polish people cuz I don't know any, really. I know some Polish people but I haven't lived among them...
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Thanks redpoint_blackdot but I most definitely am not a kiddie and I'm not spinning my original statement, I stand by everything I said. And BTW, regarding your generalization about men, all men are most definitely not all cheaters. Not my brother, not my cousins, nor any of my male friends. I think you need to practice what you're preaching in the generalization department.
Its cool, don't worry, I just felt reading everyone's posts in one go that that was the vibe. Where I live in London is about as diverse as it gets, both in terms of class, religion and race and I love it. I live on the edge of a part of London that is pretty yah, but if I walk 5 mins in one direction I'm in a mini Asia with women in saris, Sikhs, Muslims, mosques, curry houses you name it. There are loads of Eastern Europeans in London now, primarily from Poland but other countries too and I see them as enhancing our society not damaging it. But there are some tensions, my Lithuanian hairdresser who's hubby is a builder says Eastern Europeans are willing to work for half the going rate which is neither fair on them nor the Brits who get undercut. It affects the working classes though more than the middle as they get all the highly educated Eastern Europeans coming here and doing all the unsklled jobs much better than they do. Oh and another generalisation of mine about Eastern Europeans/Poles - they are extremely, unfailingly polite. Most retail assistants in my area are now from this group because of this!
angel_i,
I have several Polish male friends and while they are very cool guys, they are just as capable and have been capable of doing the kinds of douchey shit that ALL guys are do. Men are men.
Some people call it a Kaiser Blade, I call it a Sling Blade.
Ok kiddies generalizations are MEGA ridiculous and DUMB. Please people, no matter how much you try to support your original statement there is little that you can do to spin it in the positive. You are bound to offend people so please just...no!
Some people call it a Kaiser Blade, I call it a Sling Blade.
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:19pm.
Gee, what a shock -- he's a confirmed cheater, & she's a jealous, suspicious shrew!
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And at the end of the day - that right there is what it's' all about, absolutely.
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Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:14pm.
no worries angel and Keane...
I re-read it and now I see where you were going with that. I think that if you are from a country, even if you move, you'll keep a lot of where you are from. I meet a lot of people that are Polish-American, and they find it odd that I don't listen to Polka. Polka is a Polish-American cultural thing. No one listens to Polkas in Poland--it's actually Germanic. I think that like in the UK, where you have generations of Indians, or in the US where you have generations of Irish Americans, they form their own cultural identity borrowing from the two.
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Ah...we agree more than I thought!
...I could learn to say some things a little more articulately, I think....
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I never said you were a racist Keane.
I don't want you to think that I think that way about you.
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Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.
Aw Sibsi of course, I wasn't directing that at you! Just not great to return to a thread with a load of comments dissing your posts and suggesting that I'm some idiot racist. That's not the case at all. London is full of people from different cultures these days - the whole of the UK is in fact - and I find talking to people from different countries and cultures to be fascinating. The last 3 hairdressers I've been to for example have been Italian (from the south), from the Basque region of Spain and from Lithuania. I'm always way more interested in finding out about where they're from and their view of the UK than talking about my hair. And I don't think its racist to make observations about the differences between people in our country and people in theirs, they do it as much as me. Plus my bro works for Toshiba and says 90% of his factory staff are now Polish as they are much better workers than native Brits (this is said about lots of trades in the UK, building especially), does that mean he's being racist to his own race? It doesn't make sense!
Gee, what a shock -- he's a confirmed cheater, & she's a jealous, suspicious shrew! I'm sorry, but if I couldn't trust my husband, I'd be trading him in for a different model or going it alone. One of the foundations of marriage or friendship is trust. Who wants to be constantly 2nd guessing & looking over their shoulder?
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
For me, I have become more "American" over time, but some things just aren't going to change. I'll always overdress for the occasion, I'll always count, think, and dream in Polish.... If that makes sense.
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I can identify with that feeling so much!
Well, I'm not Polish, but I count units in metric and like sports which people think are rubbish in America.
Yet, I started to understand the people here, as well as the people in other foreign countries I lived before.
I hope all is well amongst all after much backtracking and clarifying at this point.
Seriously... debating these things is more engaging than thinking of J-lo and this husband of hers.
Oh, and making a big deal about checking up on him is sure to make it more fun for him, JLo. Half the fun is the sneaking around.
I told Mr. Hekki that if he ever cheats on me, he better use a condom and it better not be anyone we know because I don't want to be embarassed by one of those things where everyone in your whole social circle knows. That's all I've ever said on the subject.
no worries angel and Keane...
I re-read it and now I see where you were going with that. I think that if you are from a country, even if you move, you'll keep a lot of where you are from. I meet a lot of people that are Polish-American, and they find it odd that I don't listen to Polka. Polka is a Polish-American cultural thing. No one listens to Polkas in Poland--it's actually Germanic. I think that like in the UK, where you have generations of Indians, or in the US where you have generations of Irish Americans, they form their own cultural identity borrowing from the two.
For me, I have become more "American" over time, but some things just aren't going to change. I'll always overdress for the occasion, I'll always count, think, and dream in Polish.... If that makes sense.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Interviewer: You're playing one of the most famous characters in movie history. How come we don't see you in all the tabloids?
Daniel Craig: Because I don't want to be in them.
Keane. I <3 you and you know that right? I much prefer reading your posts for its contents than someone's perfectly 'groomed' posts without any substance.
I admit to not having thought that maybe they said something to you besides whistling, etc. I can see now that you recognized their accents.
Still... could be an English wanker trying to give Polish people/Slavs a bad name tho! Like an orchestrated faking of the accent.
(J/K!)
Submitted by Stoney: "She deserves to be cheated on because she is a total fucking CUNT!"
That's mean, but it's exactly how I feel. It's my consolsation when I think about some of the cunts I know. And what's that saying? Something like: The ultimate revenge against a woman is knowing that she's getting older every day. Me, I don't care about getting old, but some women are REALLY frightened of it. JLo being one, for sure.
Submitted by idiots drive me loco on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 3:03pm.
I was talking to angel_i in the latter one where I said I didn't agree with her. I only said that angel_i because you were using my comments to support your ideas.
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O - I didn't mean to support my arguments with your ideas, actually...only to ask if that might make sense to you. It doesn't. Fair enough:)
Happy Holidays:)
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