Tuesday, December 23rd 2008

STFU Pete Wentz!

Pete Wentz is officially an annoying Simpson. He should legally change his last name to Simpson, because he belongs to them. He confirmed this shit by continuing to talk about crap nobody wants to hear coming from his pussy lips. Pete has already told us that he does it in Ashlee Simpson's buttgina and now he's talking about licking on her breast leche. Somebody needs to fart in this bitch's mouth already to shut him up.

On yesterday's Morning Mash Up show on Sirius radio, Pete described Ashlee's rancid titty milk, because we all wanted to know. Yes, while you're drinking that cup of coffee in your hand, I'm sure you were wondering what it would taste like with a little Ashlee Simpson chichi juice in it. Well, let Pete describe it for you: "Can I tell you, I've tasted it. My mom was sitting here, I swear to God she was sitting here and she's like 'It's the sweetest milk on the planet, you can't even...' - I was like 'What are you talking about?' It kind of tasted, I don't really know how to explain what it tasted like - it's kind of soury weird milk. The baby loves it, it's the only thing he's had a chance to have."

No, the baby has also had a heaping serving of piping hot bullshit every time you open your fugly mouth hole! Pete also continued to vomit up caca words by talking about the "luxury" of breastfeeding:

"I gained 10 pounds at least. I usually hang out around 135, 134, I go up to about 140, and when I hit 148, I get fat face. I’m working out a little bit, trying…I mean last night I decided to eat Virgil’s [BBQ] at midnight which is never a good idea…I’m feeling that a little bit today. For the most part, we’re going on walks – that kind of stuff. I think it comes off easier for her because she gets to breast feed and I don’t have the luxury of doing that."

SPOILER ALERT, Pete! You already have fat in the fucking mouth. Please take your fat mouth to the nearest fat farm and just stay there. Put your fat mouth on the damn treadmill.

Why hasn't Papa Joe done something with this douche? I mean, he finally has a reason to stick his soggy dick into Pete's mouth to stop the words from coming out. That's right, Papa Joe! Pull down and whip it out, because now is your chance to finally mouth slap Pete with your clammy worm peen.

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Posted by: Michael K


mitchyul's picture

OK now that is Fucking gross, this guy is an insignificant asshole. Why the hell anyone interested in interviewing this retard.

Emeriesan's picture

He is out-douching himself.

ew.
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"Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in good spirits" RL Stevenson

chola loca's picture

This post deserves a fucking Pulitzer prize.

jussayin's picture

dear Pete,

how about a nice hot cup of shut the fuck up?

thanks,
the world

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kitty side eye!

http://www.sockandawe.com/
THROW THE SHOE AT THE BUSH!!

ISMU, if you need to switch to formula the Meyersberg goat milk is far superior than the creepy baby formulas. Your bebeh is spectacular! Cute wittle head! I want to smell it! Baby heads smell soooooooooo sweet. :)

kikichanelconspiracy's picture

Uvula - nom nom nom on your baby! So cute! Congratulations.

Also? I would kick Pete Wentz right in the box if I were Ashlee.
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I wish it was like the 70's and it was still ok to kick someone's ass. Damn

weenielover's picture

I hate this idiot. Those glasses, those hoodies...fucking looks like a FEMALE middle school mall rat. Grow the hell up!
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"Merry Christmas, Dammit!"

Bondagebarbie's picture

Its only gross coming from him, I know a lot of guys that love women who lactate.It's a big fetish.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

http://www.myspace.com/384080529

Aunt Bea's picture

You know Papa Joe tasted it.

snowpiece's picture

Milk Milk Lemonaid, 'Round the corner fudge is made!
****************************1/20/09
"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
I CAN HAZ LOLO!?!?!? :(

M.E.'s picture

Whatever. I'm not offended. Most men do end up tasting breastmilk, either out of curiousity or they accidentally get a quirt during sexy times.

And WTF is Asslee eating to have sour milk?

Haywood Jalickmi's picture

That's some weird shit, man...Is he sober when he does these interviews??

Tracy Lynn's picture

Are the simpswentz trying to drum up interest in themselves to finally get some buyers for their kid's pictures?

I have never heard even hollyweirders talk so much about buttsex and tittymilk all in one week.

zomay's picture

Okay Pete, look, you have been blessed with a "career" and have a comfortable life. Can you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up? Thanks.

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Cheeky LiL Ape's picture

ha! thats totally disgusting letting your little wolverine of a child chew on your nipples when they're, like, 10 years old...that grossed me out too..

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Submitted by sassypants on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 11:33am.

now i'm gonna have those gd breast milk hoes in my head all day, and i spent so much time and energy trying to burn them out of my memory with pot... "better than a mango even" AAAAAAHHHH

radio siren's picture

Okay, what the hell is he talking about, "the LUXURY of breastfeeding?" Oh yeah, it's such a luxury, having a suction cup of a mouth on you at 3:46 a.m. when all you need to do is get just 5 minutes of blessed sleep. Or is he talking about the luxury of cracked, bleeding nipples? Either way, he's a mindless, clueless douche.

On to happier topics...Uvula, your bebe is so adorable! Congrats!

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Dlisted's a hellava drug.

We're on "Team Against Media-Whoring Husband-Stealing Baby Collecting Tatted-up Freakshows." - Stoney, 12/2008

Sweetas's picture

What the fuck is wrong with him?? Okay scratch that, no way we have enough time to cover it all.

So Pete, since you tell everything, what does a vagina look like? Yes, you can google it.

misskitty's picture

Ok, normally I am not a fan of Papa Joe (or Ashlee or....), but he does need to step and get this guy to STFU. If I were Ashlee I would be mortified!!!! Dude needs to learn that some things that go on in marriage are private!!!! Fuck, even Nick and Jessica kept the cameras out of their bedroom!

Lane, I have been going to this high school for 7 years. I'm no dummy.

SICKITTEN's picture

OMG, I thought the weight and eating quotes were from Asslee, not him. What kind of guy talks like that? A gay one?

SICKITTEN's picture

Home Depot. Hee.

alice's picture

I've said this once before about John Mayer but I'm going to dust if off and recycle it for Pete Wentz-this guy is such a tool that he should take up permanent residence in Home Depot. I cant stand this asshat.

angel_i's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 10:21am.

Yuppers, that's the bebeh. :)
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So cute. He looks like he got attitude;p

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Sibsi's picture

Submitted by SpiceDong on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 11:31am.

134lbs?

boy he is a tiny man...or completely lying.
either way: NOT SEXY
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Judging by the length of his neck, I am willing to bet he's maybe 1" taller than an Olsen troll, but no more.

sassypants's picture

now i'm gonna have those gd breast milk hoes in my head all day, and i spent so much time and energy trying to burn them out of my memory with pot... "better than a mango even" AAAAAAHHHH

"It's not how long it takes, it's who's taking you." --marilyn

SpiceDong's picture

134lbs?

boy he is a tiny man...or completely lying.
either way: NOT SEXY

And all this bs to emphasize how heterosexual he is just has the opposite effect. I am sure breast milk isn't the only cream he's tasted.

kdracofan's picture

Hello Migraine!!!!!

Why doesn't he go to the Bronx to eat, if he likes it so much?

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Hilton said that, initially, she was afraid to be in the house after the break-in, but she has since "upped the security majorly."

kdracofan's picture

Uvula: adorable :)

Migraine Sally's picture

Uvula!!!

I gots the baby fevah from that picture!

*waiting for it to pass*

What a sweetheart!

Hekki's picture

ISMU: Your baby is cuuuuuute. Give him a little squeeze from Aunt Hekki!

Hekki's picture

First of all, I am shocked that anyone in Hollywood breastfeeds at all. Secondly, I don't think it's strange that people taste breast milk. Babies eat it. And compared to the other bodily excretions that people ingest, it's pretty normal to taste a drop and see what it tastes like. A guy in my office was just telling me that he tasted it. (TMI, but I think he's Asperger's and doesn't always understand what's socially acceptable to say. I love him anyways because he's funny as hell and that's probably why he's so funny, but that's besides the point).

miffed_33's picture

I'll always remember my mum telling the story about my aunt running out of milk while making cuppa's so she squirted her breast milk in instead, ewww lol.

LOVE ANDERSON's picture

ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 10:29am

Awww, your baby is so wittle and cute!
Congrats again.
♥♥♥

"Going gray is like ejaculating. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock." MAH BOO!!!

parissucksliterally's picture

ISMU! BAAAAAABY!!!!!
so cute!

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And I love you best, you're not like the rest
You're there when I need you , you're there when I need - I'm gonna need you
- Little River Band "Lady"

Sluttsville's picture

I don't have anything on Pete, but I wanted to tell ISprainedMyUvula how adorable the baby is in the picture.

Mrs. Gosling's picture

I weight 140 on a good day :(

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Happy Holidays

gia's picture

he usually weighs 135?? is he like 4 feet tall?? muscle weighs more than fat, so he must clearly have zero muscle tone....now thats something for a man to be proud of...he is so delicate.

Joschino's picture

"Morning Mash Up"!? I heard him on the Howard Stern Show.

Program 2 Illustration and Design

ImpertinentVixen's picture

I can't believe this twat said he fucked ASSLEE in the butt. Seriously.

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You better watch out, you better not cry.

lizardbits1's picture

Oh, ImpertinentVixen, I'm sure that famewhoring slut would find a way... You know he would. And then he'd tell us how it tasted like shit (which reminds him of a funny story involving papa Joe, an elephant, and a gallon and a half of crisco) or like Ashlee's pussy or something like that.

Remember that scene in Matrix when Keanu got his mouth digitally erased? Just a thought...

**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**

ImpertinentVixen's picture

lizardbits, I mean his mouth. Then he can't run it!

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You better watch out, you better not cry.

lizardbits1's picture

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Tue, 12/23/2008 - 10:30am.

Someone ram a dildo in it.
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Erm, no... we'd then have to hear all about how he enjoyed every minute of it and how he now has threesomes with Ashlee's pussy and chin... We don't want that, do we?

**(with Elvis pout) Here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!**

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Someone ram a dildo in it.

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You better watch out, you better not cry.

Green Is Good's picture

Pete, please for the love of God, shaddup ass-hat.

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

Thanks, girls!

Nitty- carseat or baby straightjacket? You be the judge!

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DeeDee's picture

Awwwwww ISMU! Lil' ismu is adorable!

Pete is a massive dumbass.

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Eyes so transparent that through them the soul is seen. ~Theophile Gautier

Santa Clause and His Old Lady

EastEndGirl's picture

ISMU,

Gorgeous! :)

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Mrs. K. squeezed my ass. I can die happy.

Madam Yummi's picture

I love virgil's

NitWitty's picture

ISMU, I notice you already have the little bugger strapped down in that pic! Smart Mama! hahahah
Hope the holidays won't be too overwhelming for ya, lady! xoxoxoxo

ratherfine's picture

DUMB FUCKIN WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!WASH UR DAMN HAIR BITCH

"YA I'M A BITCH! JUST NOT YOURS!"
- Me